Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Surviving... But Just Barely

Sydney to LA - Bulkhead seat on the aisle.
Row 10 United Economy Plus - Almost perfect.
(Perfect? Perfect would include Kate Beckinsale seated in seat 10B.)

(But I digress...)

LA to Houston - Bulkhead aisle- with an excellent chance of getting an upgrade...
Houston - Jax - Seat A1 - (On this plane (CRJ) that's about the best I can get... At least in A1 no one tries to recline and break my kneecaps.)

In Kingsford Airport however, the Fates had other plans for me.
United rep: "Good news Large Angry Guy, we have protected you on a flight from Sydney to San Francisco, and got you on standby to O'Hare and Jacksonville."

'Protected' my aching dying ass.

Reality -
Sydney to SFO - and OMFG, who didn't see this coming - Only middle seats available.
In economy class. Not even in Economy Plus... in row 57. Which means, in case you haven't had the joy of sitting in steerage on a 747, the noise level is horrendous and there is quite a bit of movement.
Seriously- if there is turbulence, look toward the front of the plane- you would be amazed how much 'flex' there is...

SFO to ORD- Economy plus, 'window' seat with no window. Which means no shoulder room... and a 40 minute transition time from landing to connecting flight take off.
I didn't do an 'OJ' on my way from C Concourse to the F Gates, but I didn't slow down for stupid people that were shuffling along like they were on vacation either. There might have been an impact or two... I didn't hang around to find out.

And the ORD to JAX, another @#$%^&ing CRJ, seat 4C, with a guy in front of me who insisted his seat wasn't back far enough yet and kept slamming back against my knees.
By this time I was too tired and sore to do anything other than try to shift my knees out of the way. I just spent most of the 3+ hours composing hate mail.

Original itinerary: 18 flight hours, 26 total travel hours.
New trip:  24 flight hours, 34 total travel hours.

United sucks out loud...
Some time in the next 36 hours I'll be transcribing my United-hate into a nasty letter to Jeff Smisek.

Because United breaks more than just my knees and my will to live...
United breaks guitars.

(and the sequels here and here...)



Old NFO said...

Good luck getting to Smisek, a few of us have tried... Trust me!

kx59 said...

interesting. I thought I detected a shift in the gravitational field yesterday.
I should have known you passed by this way.
Looks like you got out from down under just in time.
I saw where it hit 107 in Sydney yesterday.