Catching Up: Rimward & Rio Stuff

Just before I left for Rio, I got a goodie from my man OldNFO.

He sent me copies of his newest stuff- Specifically Rimward:Stranded and part of his newest offering from The Grey Man series.
With Rimward, Jim is venturing into the Mil/SciFi genre with both feet.
Rimward:Stranded was a very fun read- for a short story it was detailed and technical enough to keep the reader's interest, and I liked both his characters and his story pacing.
Great stuff Jim-
More! More!
It's up on Amazon- a tiny investment for a great read... Constant Readers are encouraged to check it out, and encourage OldNFO to continue his work in the genre.
Go get some HERE.

Rio-centric stuff:

Zika. Seriously.
Everyone asks about Zika...
I have yet to see a Zika-carrying mosquito during my visit.

Doesn't mean they're not here, but I think they (Rio Mozzie Control) are doing a very effective mosquito control program in the Barra and other touristy places.
Today I'm at Athletics at Olympic Stadium in Maracanã...
Yikes- this neighborhood is kinda scary- and probably not as well maintained as Barra. But we spent 45 minutes outside waiting on our arena contact and never got a bite, so I have to wonder.

But- here's the low-down on the indigenous mozzies:




The Anopheles Mosquito

The Anopheles mosquito has gained quite a reputation worldwide. This is because it is the only species of mosquito that is capable of transmitting malaria. While the Anopheles mosquito has gained itself a lot of popularity due to the ever increasing spread of malaria around the globe, few realize that this species is also responsible for the spread of Filariasis and Encephalitis. It's a nondescript blood-sucker in a plain brown wrapper...

The Culex Mosquito

The Culex mosquito is not as well known as the Anopheles mosquito. It however can transmit a number of deadly diseases. Like the Anopheles mosquito, the Culex mosquito is responsible for the spread of Filariasis and Encephalitis. In addition to these two diseases, the Culex mosquito can also carry the West Nile virus.

The Aedes Mosquito

The Aedes mosquito is known to transmit Yellow fever, Dengue and Encephalitis. Today however, this mosquito has made headlines with the newest virus that it transmits: the Zika virus!

Aedes Aegypti is a larger-than average mozzie with very distinctive coloring...
Watch for the tell-tale black and white markings on the body and the outriggers.

Now, there have been some people here that have contracted Zika-
The head guy at the field shop (warehouse) contracted Zika and it was a horror story-
Body and joint pain, headaches, swelling, just terrible to hear the tale...
Seems that the people that contract it are the most sensitive and reactive to mosquitoes.
With Field Shop Guy, if there is a mozzie around, he goes to Defcon 1 until the threat is eliminated.

It is said that the guys at the IBC collect dead mosquitoes and keep them lined up on display as a warning to the other bugs...
I'll have to come up with a dead count when I come back, if I ever actually see any live Aedes Ageypti... I have seen a few Anopheles darlingi, but they were shooed away with a stern glance and harsh language.

Been enjoying a wide spectrum of caipirinhas during my sojourn here...
Had one down on the beach at a little beach shack called Pepe's... Great spot way down the beach from Barra.
There are a couple picturesque islands just off shore calling my name- or is it the cachaça?

TBG - - Exit - Pursued by a Barra hooker.

Last Week - They Call It 'Golf' Because 'Fuck!' Was Already Taken.

Last week, in between trips to Chicago and burning Midnight Oil to prep equipment for Rio '16, I had an opportunity to get my clubs out and do a little swingin'...
Something I haven't done in YEARS. Like at least 6 years- maybe more.

Now, don't get me wrong, I LIKE golf, I just don't have the time to enjoy it like I used to.
Back in the day ('94-'95) I played at least once a week...
But just because I don't play, doesn't mean I can't play.

So, because the stars were aligned and all was right with the world, I was at this nice little club in NE Georgia with 100 of my closest friends (at least in April they are my friends...) and we proceeded to hack up the tees, fairways and greens with great abandon... I did remove my 12 Iron (the Mossberg) from the bag in order to adhere to Club requirements.
After all, it's wasn't going to be a shotgun start that day...

One person in our little band of duffers is a certain NFO some Constant Readers might recognize from his walrus mustache or his Grey Man series...

Jim's Group

Dr. Jolly, OldNFO, and The Sabatinis. Nice folks all.

Jim's Practice Swing

"Keep pointin' that damn camera at me and you'll be snappin' pictures of your colon. I don't care how big you are."

Jim fires his tee shot down the first fairway


1 Fairway

Kind of overcast that day, but it was still pretty awesome.
Looks a little odd without several hundred people lining the edges of the fairway or the big scoreboard on the right...


About 2:30 it was my group's turn to take the tee...

Peter, Pat G, Marisa and Yours Truly

A little later on we waited for our turn on the par 3 Hole #4...


Laying up on 13. (Hey! Where are all the azaleas?)
Back on 13, I was hitting my 3rd stroke up onto the green from this location...
I had crushed the tee shot then played it safe and laid up short because of the creek, snakes and bunkers...

Yes, Snakes...
Like this little jewel - a tightly wound copperhead just off the path up to the 13th Green...




It wasn't all just birdies, pars and bogies (or double bogies, or snowmen)... In addition to golf, they threw a nice little luncheon outside the clubhouse for us...




Tasty vittles all around.

Fried Chicken, Burgers, Brats, Gumbo... Mmmmm. Tasty!


What did I shoot?
Let's just say, in the spirit of mystery that surrounds the Tradition Unlike Any Other, my score was "Just enough."


TBG - -[Exit- Pursued by Agkistrodon contortrix]

Are My Values That Skewed?

I read an article today citing a poll of golfers and what's they'd be willing to do to play a round at Augusta...  (Full Article Here)

REVEALED: WHAT GOLFERS WOULD DO FOR A ROUND AT AUGUSTA NATIONAL

A round at Augusta National. It is pretty much every golfer’s dream isn’t it? In a recent Twitter poll 44% of those questioned (283 golfers) said they’d move the most expensive day of their lives to accommodate it.

With the average wedding costing north of £30,000 ($43,000 - TBG) according to Brides Magazine it is safe to say that golfers value a round at the host venue of The Masters pretty highly.

And it isn’t just weddings that might suffer for that elusive tee time, 34% said they’d miss their child’s birthday to fit in a round. So, with more than 70% of the votes, it would be safe to say that a date at Augusta National is worth more than some potential strife at home.

Despite the potential cost of moving a wedding being a large one, golfers weren’t happy to put their money where their mouth is with just 10% of respondents willing to part with a year’s salary. With UK average salaries now around £26,500 ($38k - TBG) (via Office for National Statistics), a round at this Georgia’s most magnificent golfing masterpiece could cost you more than £6,500 ($9,300-TBG) an hour (presuming a four hour round). At this hourly rate you’d be nearly in the leagues of Wayne Rooney (£6,770 an hour)* or Cristano Ronaldo (£7,800 an hour)*. So, I guess the benefit of this is that you’ll now know what it feels like to spend it like a footballer, even if it means you don’t have anything left for the rest of the year.

Now, for those people that know golfers you’ll be very surprised by this number. 12% of those asked said they’d be willing to give up golf after their round. Happy in the knowledge that they’d played the best course they could. Their spikes (soft we hope, so not to mess up the lovely greens), hung up. Their clubs now on eBay and their weekends now free. I guess the only reason why this might be believable is that there probably wouldn’t be enough time for them to play golf, they’d be spending all of their free time telling people about “…the time I played Augusta National…my 8 on 12 was the greatest 12 you’d ever see…”

So, there you have it, from changing wedding days to giving up golf, it turns out a round at Augusta National is something golfers would do almost anything for.

Astute Constant Readers (God love all four of you) might remember that it really wasn't that big of a deal for me to miss out playing ANGC last May...
So I have to ask, am I that fucked up that, although disappointing, it wasn't The End Of My Existence to miss out playing at that well-manicured lawn?


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saddle Up!

My schedule has been a bit FUBAR since New Years...-
I've either been out of town, initially in Sydney, slow-roasting, and lately at a rather cold locations, like Nashville or Toronto and last week, Minnesota.
This week it's Hector the Connector's turn in the barrel out in Denver at the second NHL Stadium Series game.
Have fun out there ese.
I'm fixin to do a little attitude adjustment myself today...

On the books: Ride To Eat, attempt #2.
The scrubbed attempt a couple months back almost a year ago was a disappointment...
The Plan - The Reality
*le sigh*

Today, after I beat a few NBA details and a few issues from A Nice Golf Course into submission, The Bug and I are going to head north to St Simon's Island and hit my favorite BBQ place in the North Florida and South Georgia - Southern Soul BBQ.

(Not knocking 4 Rivers Smokehouse, but Southern Soul is f'ing awesome.)
I was there back in August- swinging by after a trip to South Carolina- on an insanely hot afternoon in the middle of a really taxing ride... Today's trip should be a little better.
Ben has been itching for a nice long ride on his Japanese Space Vehicle (a blinding white Honda Goldwing) and my little horse has just had a complete fluid flush-and-fill on all systems, so while it's still cool enough we're hitting the road. At least for one afternoon...

At the end of the rainbow:


(pic lifted from Some Kinda Good)

On the menu:

Constant Readers have heard me extoll the virtues of SSBBQ before.
I've had the Barbecuban, I have been here for Hammertime Tuesday, and indulged in their brisket and burnt ends...I have even taken home pulled pork,chicken, ribs and pimento cheese for the family when I was feeling benevolent and kind-hearted (a rare occurrence).

This is the Thursday daily special - house-cured pastrami:

(Pic by SSBBQ)If that doesn't inspire you, take your vegan ass down the street and go nibble on the crabgrass and acorns.

Today being a Friday, it's Pit-Fired Prime Rib day...


(pic by SSBBQ)
And there is a side mission:
Over dinner with The Woman and the Perfect Child last night I was gloating over my plan and was asked  requested  demanded commanded to bring some smoked turkey home for them.

We'll see.
I'll definitely get some take out...
Whether it makes it all the way back to the Humble Abode is another story entirely.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tires, Weather & Conditions

I had been having a little issue with air pressure in the FJR in November and early December.
Before I went to Australia, the back tire would lose about 10lbs of air overnight.
Somehow the problem spread to the front tire over the holiday and on my return both tires were flat.

I keep a mini compressor in one of the panniers and was quickly back to pressure, but the front tire would drop 20 lbs in just a couple hours.

 Did you know you can buy motorcycle tires on Amazon for about 30% off what the dealers charge? Yeah-
One dealership said they install their tires free, but the same model tires were almost twice as expensive as the ones I had shipped in.
One wouldn't install customer-supplied tires on a bike at all, the third place I called said they'd do it but it would be $140/tire (basically 2 hours labor per tire).

 I rang up the guy who hunted down my electrical problem last year- He quoted me a flat $120 to do both including new stems.
Sold American!
So now the FJR has new shoes, and I don't spend 30 minutes pumping up my tires in the morning and before I head home from the office.

 Last week the temps were pretty moderate here in North Florida...
Highs were topping out in the high 70s- and surprisingly, all the two-wheeled SMTers had the same thought...
Yeah- love to see all the different bike styles lined up in front of the building...

Weather has deteriorated some this week-
Pretty cold this AM...
Constant Reader & proofreader-from-a-distance Luc shot me a note with a spelling correction (thanks dude) and we touched on my travel for this week as part of the conversation.
Luc's from Canuckistan, where he last saw his lawn in October and won't see real (local) dirt again until April.
I was lamenting that I was heading to Toronto in the AM which he found amusing.

Having just rode in from the Beaches in high 30-degree temps, I really didn't see how a couple days in Toronto would be any different that just staying in Jax.
I'm not sure he believed me...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sydney - Neglected Point of Interest

I forgot one point of interest in old Sydney that would be of interest to one or two Constant Readers.
OldNFO and Brigid would most likely really enjoy the bookstore I found up in Millers Point...
On Argyle Place, just up from Lord Nelson's is an itty bitty specialty bookshop...

Sadly, when The Woman and I swept past, the "Out for Tucker" sign was up, and I never got back during business hours...
Next December I will visit again and try to get some interior shots...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

First!

5:45am - Sunrise over Sydney Olympic Park. 
Merry Christmas to all my Constant Readers!

Read - Write Rant For Blog - Reread - Delete

The five stages of blogging strike again...

Hanging out in Messico City doing IT support, basically a warm-up for next month in Sydney and I am doing way too much reading on my right-leaning RSS feeds.

I spent a good bit of the morning writing up a screed on Immigration and the battle for America, with a nice smattering of Doomsday shouting at the end.

I saved it off and went to lunch, then looked at it again a few hours later.

Ooooh that stinks. And of so very borderline racist. The razor's edge...

I'm going to cut out the inflammatory rhetoric and just leave a couple quotes and part of the doomshouting...
=================================================

Thoughtful quote regarding Immigration:

“Now, just to understand better what's going on, let's imagine the shoe on the other foot.
Let's imagine that hundreds of thousands of badly-educated Americans, white Americans, were pouring across the border into Mexico.
And let's imagine that they were insisting on instruction in school in English rather than Spanish. Let's imagine they were asking for ballot papers in English rather than Spanish, they were celebrating Fourth of July rather than Cinco de Mayo, buying up newspapers, publishing in English, television stations, radios, all publishing and broadcasting in English, and that there were so many of them coming in that they threatened to reduce Mexicans to minority.
Do you think the Mexicans could possibly be tricked into thinking that this was enrichment, this was diversity, that this was great?
No.
No. They wouldn’t stand for it for a moment.
This would be to them an impossible unacceptable invasion of their country. And you would find the same reaction in any non-white country anywhere in the world.
Can you imagine, say, the Japanese or the Nigerians, the Pakistanis, the Costa Ricans accepting this kind of wholesale demographic change that would change their country, transform their country, and reduce them to a minority?
No.
These things are impossible to imagine.”
- Jared Taylor

Truth.

The next part was basically a "What Me Worry?" paragraph to lighten the mood after I went off on the state of Immigration in the US:

Neil DeGrasse Tyson says we are screwed anyway...

"On Friday the 13th of April 2029, an asteroid large enough to fill the Rose Bowl as though it were an egg cup, will fly so close to Earth, that it will dip below the altitude of our communication satellites. We did not name this asteroid Bambi. Instead, it's named Apophis, after the Egyptian god of darkness and death.
If the trajectory of Apophis at close approach passes within a narrow range of altitudes called the 'keyhole,' the precise influence of Earth's gravity on its orbit will guarantee that seven years later in 2036, on its next time around, the asteroid will hit Earth directly, slamming in the Pacific Ocean between California and Hawaii. The tsunami it creates will wipe out the entire west coast of North America, bury Hawaii, and devastate all the land masses of the Pacific Rim. If Apophis misses the keyhole in 2029, then, of course, we have nothing to worry about in 2036"- NDG - Space Chronicles - Facing the Ultimate Frontier

Apophis is a huge cosmic question mark, since a shit-ton of elements will still affect it's trajectory... There's questions on it's shape, center-of-mass, spin characteristics, and a bunch of other outside influences that could affect the event.

Wonder what it would be like if the rock splashes down?
Read Larry Niven's Lucifer's Hammer... Great book on life after a meteor impact.

For more info on Apophis, have a peek at NASA's Near Earth Object Program's notes on Apophis and their much-watered-down predictions, including a date change from Friday the 13th, to Easter Sunday, 2029, read here.
==============================================================
There.
Consider yourselves lucky that I thought better of subjecting you to the original
load of horseshit... You dodged a bullet.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

About Damned Time - Trader Joe's

We (the Northeast Florida Beaches Communities) finally have a Trader Joe's!


I love me some TJ's! Too many cool snacks and sauces...
And they actually have some unique (and tasty) breads and vegetables.

For my local Constant Readers (both of you), it's down in the Sandcastle Shopping Center where JTB meets A1A.
Time for another appearance of the Trader Joe's Song...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome to the Party, Y'all

Re:  Seat reclining on flights, either long or short.

Really, I have nothing to add, except to relate how I dealt with it recently...

(And for the four Constant Readers that keep emailing me "Was it you?" emails.
No. And it never will be. I'll suffer through someone else being an ass before I screw up everyone else's travel plans.)

On a recent flight from Austin TX to JFK, I had the displeasure of being seated behind an old asshat, get-off-my-lawn, nasty curmudgeon. The flight was full- and I (of course) was unable to get a bulkhead seat.
Nothing was right with this guy... He bitched because his wife wasn't sitting next to him, he complained about having to put his bags under the seat in front of him, he complained because it was too cold on the plane. - All items that he could have avoided- pre-select your seats when you book your tickets, get on when your section is called- not at thte last second, and ferchrissake- we're in Texas in the summer- they have to crank the AC while the door is open waiting for you, dumbass.

About30 minutes into the flight, the Curmudgeon decided to lay his seat down as far as he could... Which is not far, since my knees were holding the seat up...
So he starts banging the seat against my knees.

Yours Truly: "Hey- you're breaking my kneecaps."
Curmudgeon: "Well, I wanna lean my seat back!"
YT: "There is nowhere to lean back to. Please stop doing that."
C: "You can just move your knees! This is my seat and I'll sit in it any way I want."
YT: ""

His wife just shut up- she wasn't getting involved.
He rang for the Flight Attendant (who had already had enough of his shit).-

C: "Thatguy behind me won't let me recline!"
FA: (To me) "Sir, are you using a device to block the seat from reclining?"
YT: "No... Not unless you count my knees as a 'device'."
She had a look- seeing there was zero inches between the seat and my knees.
FA (to the Curmudgeon): "Sir- he's not using a device to block your seat. That's his knees you are banging your seat against."

Curmudgeon's position was that it was his seat, to be used in any way he saw fit.
The FA said that if there was a device being used (ie KneeDefender) the Captain would come back and confiscate it. But since it was just a physical issue, he'd have to deal with it.
He pushed and pressed and banged away- and finally got a couple inches of recline, mostly by reducing my patellas to a fine powder.

Ok...

You want to play fuck-fuck, we can play fuck fuck.
 I took my overhead AC nozzle, opened it full and swiveled it until it pointed it at the top of his head.

When to cold air hit his bald noggin he jumped up and turned around.

Curmudgeon: "What the hell are you doing!?"
YT: "It's my AC nozzle. I can use it whatever way I want."

He buzzes for the FA again.
The FA says there is nothing she can do- it's my nozzle and I can use it any way I want.
He asked for a blanket and the FA turned him down. She said that blankets were only for the Business class passengers and they'd all already been distributed.

He fumed and fussed- his wife came up with a scarf he tried to cover his head with...

After about 30 minutes later he gave up.
He lifted his seat to almost full upright- then glared at me, then at the AC vent.
I reached up and cranked it back closed and pointed it to me...

He settled back down muttering to himself.

The capper was as the flight ended and I got up to get my bag from the overhead-
the guy was all of 5'2"- I looked down at him with my best "I'd crush you like an insect but I don't have time for the paperwork." glare...
He quickly looked away, busying himself with important post-flight activities in the seat pocket in front of him.
I could hear his wife-"I didn't know he was so big!" she whispered to him..
I supressed the urge to throw a "That's what she said" on her...
The FA gave me a nice smile and wink as I got off the plane.

I hope it was sincere- For all I know she was tired of my shit too...

The lesson of the story- United will confiscate Knee Defenders from you.
Or throw you off the plane.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cold & Hot

Y'know...
it's probably pretty tasteless to complain about this, since all I see in my RSS reader is about how all the Constant Readers are freezing their parts off.
But dude...It's fucking roasting down here.


Serially.


Hot. Hothothot.

At least you folks back in the 'States can layer up. Just keep stacking it on.
3 T-Shirts, a sweat shirt, a hoodie, 2 jackets, a cable-knit sweater mom made for you that WAS 4 sizes too big, a parka and an overcoat.

That shit doesn't work down here...
There are only so many layers you can take off before you get a tap on the shoulder from a local policeman who wants to chat about why you are only dressed in sneakers, socks, a hat, sunscreen, and a knowing smile.

Cop: "Sir? We've had some complaints..."

For a place that has full frontal nudity on network TV during prime time, they sure have some odd notions of 'appropriate behavior behaviour'...

And now we just wait for a comment from Luc, a/k/a Captain Canada bitching about it being -30C and how he had to FINALLY go dig out the box of 'cool weather' attire and find a light jacket to wear to the lake this weekend.


(I think the hockey stick on the tactical sling really completes the picture.)


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Recovery Time

Back on the right  left correct side of the pond, and mostly recovered.
And even mo' better, ChrisC back at the office has resurrected my po' pitiful T43 so I will actually be able to blog at top speed again...
Woo hoo.
My laptop gave up the ghost on Day 8, and I've been working on borrowed & misappropriated machines to get the necessities done.
And 'blogging on an iPad is possible, but not very efficient.

So... I have a backlog of Olympic stuff and some London-centric content to post.
Stay tuned, Constant Readers...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wonderful Words

As a amateur etymologist, I enjoy a good word...
(Even if I mispronounce or misspell them occasionally)




For Constant Readers who also see beauty in the form of a written word, please consider this list from Deshoda...

Ailurophile A cat-lover.
Assemblage A gathering.
Becoming Attractive.
Beleaguer To exhaust with attacks.
Brood To think alone.
Bucolic In a lovely rural setting.
Bungalow A small, cozy cottage.
Chatoyant Like a cat’s eye.
Comely Attractive.
Conflate To blend together.
Cynosure A focal point of admiration.
Dalliance A brief love affair.
Demesne Dominion, territory.
Demure Shy and reserved.
Denouement The resolution of a mystery.
Desuetude Disuse.
Desultory Slow, sluggish.
Diaphanous Filmy.
Dissemble Deceive.
Dulcet Sweet, sugary.
Ebullience Bubbling enthusiasm.
Effervescent Bubbly.
Efflorescence Flowering, blooming.
Elision Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
Elixir A good potion.
Eloquence Beauty and persuasion in speech.
Embrocation Rubbing on a lotion.
Emollient A softener.
Ephemeral Short-lived.
Epiphany A sudden revelation.
Erstwhile At one time, for a time.
Ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
Evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
Evocative Suggestive.
Fetching Pretty.
Felicity Pleasantness.
Forbearance Withholding response to provocation.
Fugacious Fleeting.
Furtive Shifty, sneaky.
Gambol To skip or leap about joyfully.
Glamour Beauty.
Gossamer The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk.
Halcyon Happy, sunny, care-free.
Harbinger Messenger with news of the future.
Imbrication Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
Imbroglio An altercation or complicated situation.
Imbue To infuse, instill.
Incipient Beginning, in an early stage.
Ineffable Unutterable, inexpressible.
Ingénue A naïve young woman.
Inglenook A cozy nook by the hearth.
Insouciance Blithe nonchalance.
Inure To become jaded.
Labyrinthine Twisting and turning.
Lagniappe A special kind of gift.
Lagoon A small gulf or inlet.
Languor Listlessness, inactivity.
Lassitude Weariness, listlessness.
Leisure Free time.
Lilt To move musically or lively.
Lissome Slender and graceful.
Lithe Slender and flexible.
Love Deep affection.
Mellifluous Sweet sounding.
Moiety One of two equal parts.
Mondegreen A slip of the ear.
Murmurous Murmuring.
Nemesis An unconquerable archenemy.
Offing The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
Onomatopoeia A word that sounds like its meaning.
Opulent Lush, luxuriant.
Palimpsest A manuscript written over earlier ones.
Panacea A solution for all problems
Panoply A complete set.
Pastiche An art work combining materials from various sources.
Penumbra A half-shadow.
Petrichor The smell of earth after rain.
Plethora A large quantity.
Propinquity Proximity; Nearness
Pyrrhic Successful with heavy losses.
Quintessential Most essential.
Ratatouille A spicy French stew.
Ravel To knit or unknit.
Redolent Fragrant.
Riparian By the bank of a stream.
Ripple A very small wave.
Scintilla A spark or very small thing.
Sempiternal Eternal.
Seraglio Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
Serendipity Finding something nice while looking for something else.
Summery Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
Sumptuous Lush, luxurious.
Surreptitious Secretive, sneaky.
Susquehanna A river in Pennsylvania.
Susurrous Whispering, hissing.
Talisman A good luck charm.
Tintinnabulation Tinkling.
Umbrella Protection from sun or rain.
Untoward Unseemly, inappropriate.
Vestigial In trace amounts.
Wafture Waving.
Wherewithal The means.
Woebegone Sorrowful, downcast.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

The Worst Part...

....is chipping my car out of the block of ice they refer to as a "parking lot" using only my hotel keycard, to get to the airport in time for my flight.

(Yeah, Luc, 7 degrees. That's like -35 Canadian degrees.)

TBG - a/k/a Captain Frostbite

Quote of the Day - Body Cavity Search on Aisle 3 Edition

People what knows The Big Guy are aware that I have a limited number of comments, jests and japes that I am willing to use at an airport, TSA gropestation or Customs checkpoint...

And by-and-large, most airport employees (gate attendants and ticket agents especially) hve either lost their sense of humor or just fail to bring theirs when they report for duty.

Which was why I was horrified and amused at the oh-so-funny comment from the girl at the bag drop counter in Calgary.

When she tried to heft my bag onto the cart, she wasn't able to lift it...

"Jeez- How much depleted uranium ya got in there?" she asked rather loudly.
Loud enough, in fact, to cause the guys at CATSA (the Canuckistan equivalent of the TSA) to all look over at me and start putting on fresh rubber gloves...

Thanks, Hon. 'Preciate it.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Stand Corrected

In a recent post I mentioned a list of the 3 biggest lies...

1. The check is in the mail.
2. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
and
3. Size doesn't matter.

Well... It didn't generate a lot of commentary on the 'blog, but I did get several emails.

Let's see...

"You sick bastard..."


"WTF is wrong with you..."


"You, sir, are a sexist, chauvinistic pig..."

Yeah. Whatevs.
Apparently the girls at the office didn't like the pictures.
Read the disclaimer.

I did get four emails that called me on the carpet, as it were, regarding my assertion that these were the three biggest lies.

Constant Reader C.D. remarked that the biggest fib you'll come across on a week to week basis is this two-word sentence:

"Everything's fine."

Yikes. But, sadly, probably very true.
Anyone that has ever come home to their Significant Other and got the 'You're sooo dead' vibe and innocently asked "What's wrong?" has heard this one, or it's equivalent "Nothing".

Reader LAF opines:

"Who's still putting checks in the mail? The big lie in our neck of the woods is 'Why, no, Officer, I haven't been drinking.'
You need to fix that post."

Semi-Constant Reader DD is exceptionally cynical...
She commented that there is a huge number of liars out there in the on-line dating arena.

"Those bastards! Every f%$#@ng one of them is all
'My wife doesn't understand me' or
'I'm getting a divorce.'... Those are the big lies.
You know what guys? You're wife probably understands you perfectly."

Issues... The girl has issues. Well, not just issues, but probably a whole subscription.

The best, of course, is the one lie all of us tell all the time...
A lie I've told countless times, and I'm sure you have too.

From Constant Reader TM:

"You missed the best, most often told lie of all-
'Yes, I have read and agree to the terms and conditions of this EULA'"

(Note to Constant Readers:Help a Blogger out- make a comment; don't just send emails. I know, you don't want to register, or whatever... Comment anonymously! That works too!)


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What Is An American

[I got an e-mail today from a colleague containing a "message from a dentist in Australia". I saw this years ago, but found it amusing that it had resurfaced with attribution changed and the serial numbers filed off. I decided to post it whole rather than just quote it and provide a link...
Some number of Constant Readers (and you commie-pinkos know who you are) would see a "National Review" link and discount it out of hand, and I really would rather those individuals got a fleeting chance to read the whole thing.
It was written in September of 2001, but is so apropos even today. - TBG]

What Is An American? A primer. By Peter Ferrara, an associate professor of law at the George Mason University School of Law. September 25, 2001 9:20 a.m.

ou probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper there an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American. So I just thought I would write to let them know what an American is, so they would know when they found one. An American is English…or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan. An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them choose. An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God. An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God-given right of each man and woman to the pursuit of happiness. An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need. When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country.  As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. An American does not have to obey the mad ravings of ignorant, ungodly cruel, old men. American men will not be fooled into giving up their lives to kill innocent people, so that these foolish old men may hold on to power. American women are free to show their beautiful faces to the world, as each of them choose. An American is free to criticize his government's officials when they are wrong, in his or her own opinion. Then he is free to replace them, by majority vote. Americans welcome people from all lands, all cultures, all religions, because they are not afraid. They are not afraid that their history, their religion, their beliefs, will be overrun, or forgotten. That is because they know they are free to hold to their religion, their beliefs, their history, as each of them choose. And just as Americans welcome all, they enjoy the best that everyone has to bring, from all over the world. The best science, the best technology, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes. Americans welcome the best, but they also welcome the least. The nation symbol of America welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America. Many of them were working in the twin towers on the morning of September 11, earning a better life for their families. So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo and Stalin and Mao Tse-Tung, and every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world. But in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American. So look around you. You may find more Americans in your land than you thought were there. One day they will rise up and overthrow the old, ignorant, tired tyrants that trouble too many lands. Then those lands too will join the community of free and prosperous nations. And America will welcome them.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Back on the Road - FLL

It's been pretty busy the last few days...

As I have mentioned to several people (pretty much anyone who'd listen) I couldn't wait to get back on the road so I could get some rest...

From the previous post, astute Constant Readers might have gathered that it was the PC's graduation weekend... I blew into town from Montreal on the wings of a storm, arriving at midnight the night before graduation to find a house full of people-
The Family was in town from all points of the compass, and it seemed like a good number of them were staying at The Estrogen Palace... We (The Woman Who Knows Most Things, Yours Truly, and The PC) relinquished our humble abode to the gathered masses and stayed elsewhere...

Graduation went off without a hitch, as did the celebration dinner that night, then we had a small shindig at the house for all the visitors & family on Friday...
This shindig degenerated to a large game of Brew-No (Uno card game with drinking rules) that finally broke up around 2AM.
We still had a full house on Saturday, and we put them to good use - serving up all the Shindig leftovers and pretty much cleaning out the refrigerators.

We finally ejected the last of the guests by 4:00 on Sunday- just in time for me to jump in my rental car and hie my not inconsiderable ass to Ft. Lauderdale, where  Operation Refit continues...


8:00 AM had me in the arena doing the stuff I'm supposed to be doing, and was finished by 4:00... I wanted to catch Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final, so I had a couple hours to kill, so I went to the Cinema and caught Super 8.
Not too shabby a flick...

Typical Steven Spielberg - some kids get caught up in Bigger Events and save the day.
Enjoyable, but not groundbreaking.


The CoConspirators were in town last night too; I heard tales about a visit to an Adult Entertainment Establishment...

Yes, while I watched Vancouver get the snot kicked out of them (really Canucks? 1 to 4? C'mon.) the Boys were at Goldfinger's, where the story was CC1 was a undercover LEO and it was CC2's last night before heading off to an extended stay the Raiford Hilton.
Stellar entertainment - One of the hostesses kept falling asleep on CC1's shoulder. She was missing a front tooth (wow, classy) so when she started snoring she whistled...
Well, it could have been worse- I do remember one place where the girls had misspelled tattoos and infected facial piercings...
But I digress...

The fun continues-
The NHL is heading back to Vancouver for Game 7 on Wednesday night...

As DP might say, "This next game is gonna be huge."


I'm in La-Te-Da-derdale, then off to the next victim on Thursday PM.
The PC and TWWKMT are over in Tampa for orientation at USF...
School starts in less than two weeks.
Bless that child, she's jumping in with both feet.

Onward, through the fog...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

By George, I Think He's On To Something...

From my man RonH...

I get confused when I hear the word "Service" used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.

BAM!!!
It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

Wow.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

House of Disappointment and Rude Awakenings

My roomies and I are staying in the same house that we had last year.
(We usually rent several houses instead of a crapload of hotel rooms.)

This house, it is the epic fail.

On my first night here this year the doorbell was rung at about 2:30 AM...
I'm pretty sure it was one of our co-workers that were in one of the other houses in the neighborhood playing a little prank.
They ought to know better.
They've been warned now.

Last year there was a big note on the washing machine:
"Drain problems. Please open lid occasionally while machine drains so it does not overflow."

This year, the note was still in place...
So, with all the dough you got paid to rent your house for a week, you couldn't save $35.00 to have Roto-Rooter come out and snake your washing machine drain?
So... When you do a load of laundry, you need to listen for the spin cycle to start, drop what you're doing and run out to open the lid.

Personally, I'm not feeling an overwhelming need to keep the wash water from spilling on your floor, bud.

On a much more irritating note, we had a crew call for 6:45 AM on Monday, so we were figuring wheels-up at 6:30 and adjusted our wake up schedule accordingly.
My alarm was set for 5:30.

As Murphy would have it, at 4:45 AM we were awakened by a blaring alarm in the house. I stumbled out looking for smoke or fire, and not finding anything obvious I looked for the smoke detector (of which there are several) to reset.
There was one over my bedroom door... Nope not that one.
And it wasn't the one over Cockroach's door either.
SGK came out of her room with a glare that would have left lesser men a quivering basket case.
"Turn that damn noise off!"
"I'd love to, but I don't know which alarm is going off." I told her.
I even opened the attic access, thinking there might be a detector up there.
No joy.
Roach finally found the author of our discontent...
A carbon monoxide detector plugged into a wall socket in the hallway down at shin-level.
And it wouldn't reset.

Quickly reverting to problem-solving mode, I took the device and put in the crisper drawer in the 'fridge and tried to get back to sleep for a few more minutes.

No Joy.

There will be a nasty letter...

----------

Fast forward to Monday PM

----------

A rather nasty cold front moved through the southeast last night.
We were prepared for it... All our equipment at the site was buttoned up or battened down, secured or put away to avoid unnecessary damage.
We hit the sack early, since I was shorted that extra 45 minutes on the leading edge of the day, and we had the same 6:30 departure target.

At about 1:30 AM, an alarm started blaring in my room.
(My room is actually a home office with a rather uncomfortable (small) bed and a large desk covered with many Objets d'Tech...)
Of course, the power was out due to the storm.
So, blaring alarm, no lights, blindly groping for my bag to find my flashlight, so I can find the next item that will be placed in the crisper drawer...
I finally find my light and I start my search- and the offending item this time, a Radio Shack weather alert radio, tucked away behind the mountain of other crap...
And it has no controls on it. No off switch, no volume knob or button, battery operated.
What the hell kind of crap technology is this?
The alert tone finally ended and a NOAA weater warning started- Tornado warning for our area.
Goody.
One weather radio, in the crisper drawer.


This crap is starting to damage my calm...

I have revised my plan.
No nasty letter.

I'm getting a half a pound of shrimp from the Kroger and hiding them in strategically located places around the house.
Inside the curtain rods.
Behind the wine rack.
On the top of the kitchen cabinets.

And a note to Constant Readers in Augusta (...and you know who you are...)
Someone wants to be Mr. Funny Man and ring my doorbell tonight, that crisper drawer is gonna be mighty full.
And if you think I can't fit a 200lb comedian/network specialist in a crisper drawer, you don't know the power of an angry ogre with a Cuisinart.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE