Monday, September 21, 2015

Punishment for Misusing Words

At the table next to mine this AM:

Waitress: "I'll bring you some more Holiday sauce."
(TBGs ears perk up at this...)
Customer 1: "That will be lovely."
(Illiterate waitress leaves)
Customer 2: "What's she bringing?"
C1: "Holiday sauce. For my Eggs Benedict."
C2: "Oh. Ok."

Constant Readers will be proud of me; I did not head-smack either of the customers or the waitress...
I did throw up in my mouth a little,  but no actual projectile vomiting occurred.

Question: How much violence should be allowable to visit upon people that butcher the English language?


Saturday, September 19, 2015


A email server in a bathroom, emails turned over the Gummint, investigations of emails, investigations of aides, etc etc.

Weird... Seems to me there isn't a lot of concern regarding her situation there.
Perhaps it's because she knows that all of that can be dealt with via an executive pardon. (And if you think the current animosity between the Obama administration and Hillary would preclude that,  I have a bridge to sell you... Progressives might bicker, but they protect each other when it comes to the big picture.)

Seems to me that there are lots and lots of things that need to be investigated and that could bear some tasty fruit...
Her not-so-subtle connections with foreign governments, dealings with the Clinton Family Foundation, and all the contributors thereof. Many things.

A quote that might bring some things into perspective:

'If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.'
-Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow

He's right you know...
Think about it.


Friday, September 18, 2015

Women. Can't Live With Them...

...Can't live without 'em
...Can't lead them to water OR make them drink
...Can't judge them by their covers
...Can't shoot 'em without lots of paperwork and hefty prison sentences, usually

...Can't have cake and eat it too
...Can't beat them or join them
...Can't get blood from a turnip.

One of the Boys was tore up- huge fight with his SO, shouting and hurtful words, etc.
As he was lamenting his situation in committee so to speak, we listened and prepared to make some helpful observations and suggestions.
Because that's what guys do. 

We try to help.

He bemoaned the fact that he just doesn't understand his SO, or women in general, that has relationship is teetering on the brink of the abyss and is probably irrevocable.
He solicits us for help regarding understanding women.
A bunch of childish morons who are barely housebroken and have about as much 'understanding' of women as a dog has of analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differential Riemannian manifolds...

Hey, we're not gynecologists, but we can give it a shot.
For my part, I brought all my experience in 40 years of dealing with girls/women and nearly 25 years of marriage, and a heaping amount of book-learnin' in sociology classes at UF, and a boatload of Internet droppings (cause we all know how accurate that shit is) into the conversation.

First and foremost: Don't try to 'understand' women. Women understand women, and they fucking HATE each other.

Second: If a guy talks to other guys for advice (which is rare in and of itself), he is looking help with a situation. He actually WANTS advice.
If a woman goes
to other women for advice she is looking validation regarding her position. She doesn't want advice, but if it bolsters her position, she might fold it into her argument.

But- if your SO wants to talk about her problems and doesn't SPECIFICALLY ASK for advice or help, DO NOT OFFER ADVICE OR HELP.
She just wants to talk about it  SOMEONE and most likely one of her girlfriends wasn't available. Just listen, nod your head sagely and offer non-committal vocal assent.

Guys want to be helpful and fix things- but sadly, women are usually just wanting to talk things through...
(This is one of those 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' things. Men's and women's thought processes are so different it has been opined (read this) that men and women aren't the same race, and probably aren't even the same species.)

Back to our sad friend-
"Look- I understand your feelings.
You miss her, you're miserable without her.
You can't imagine your life without her in it.
You'd do anything for her.
You want her back in your life so bad there is nothing else you can think of... she completely dominates your thoughts 24/7.
There is nothing you wouldn't pay to have her back, 

and would gladly commit horrible violence to regain her.
Men often feel that way about women...

Women feel that way about SHOES*."

How can a guy possibly hope to understand that?

Just suck it up, Buttercup.
Here endeth the lesson.

* To be fair, I know women who are this way about jewelry, booze, fast cars, and at least one that feels that way about guns. Obsession isn't pretty. But it can be entertaining.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Planes, Trains & Automobiles

One meeting done. One more to go.
I'm in a shuttle bus heading to midtown Manhattan now for my next meeting.
Might have time for a nosh before the meeting so... yeah. All good so far.

As for 'planes trains etc', it's actually more like:
Motorcycle (30 miles in rain), shuttle bus, plane, train, Uber car, another shuttle van, my size 14s,  a taxi, another train, another plane, and another 30 miles on two wheels back home. 
Probably still in the rain.

I love my job...


Once More, Unto The Breach

Sitting at the airport. Again.

This is a fast kamikaze trip to NYC, outbound flight at 5:50a, two meetings then a 9p flight home.
(So left the house at 4:10a,  back in the door around midnight.)

Except for a drizzle on the way, no issues getting from the beach to JAX, through TSA, and to the gate. (Knock wood)

Looking through the 'blog under the 'travel' and 'travel issues' tags.
The crap I've gone through in the last 10 years when it comes to getting from one place to another...
Don't know how much longer I can keep from giving some TSA moron, airline idjit, or some (other) asshat passenger a well-deserved thumping... Seems as time goes by, the shorter the fuse gets.
I can take solace, after reading back through some of the stories, that I have avoided the no-fly list thus far, but time will tell.
I'm sure there will be camel back breaking straw somewhere down the line, but for the moment, you find me in seat 7B, cussing under my breath and nursing a sore knee.
Update from NJ/NYC shortly.


Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Track Record

Chatting with 'the guys' over wings at lunch today I had a pretty horrible realization:

Every time Obama has made a promise to the American people,
pretty much the exact opposite happens:
  • Obamacare and the famous "if you like your policy/doctor you can keep it" line of complete bullshit.
  • Existence of "shovel-ready" projects to waste taxpayer dollars on.
  • The promise of transparency in his administration-  “My administration is committed to creating an unprecedented level of openness in government.”
And the biggest lie so far:
“I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will execute the office of president of the United States faithfully, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of the United States.”

Boy, is that a huge lie or what?

What does that say about the Iran nuke deal?


Sunday, September 13, 2015

Wire Cutters


Friday, September 11, 2015


Remember it every day, not just today.


Thursday, September 10, 2015

"I Take Full Responsibility..."

I really wish that some day, when some public figure or career politician says 'I take full responsibility..." that they'd actually be held personally accountable for whatever transgression they had committed.

For instance:
(from PBS.ORG)
The head of the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency said Tuesday her department takes full responsibility for spilling 3 million gallons of mining waste that turned a southwest Colorado river an unnatural shade of orange, adding it “pains me to no end.”
But of course, you have to read further to see the fine print:
“It is really a tragic and very unfortunate incident, and EPA is taking responsibility to ensure that that spill is cleaned up,” McCarthy said. “I am absolutely, deeply sorry that this ever happened.”
Only cleaned up? What happened to full responsibility?

Here we have similar lip service from Obama when two innocent hostages were killed in an operation against Al Qaeda.
“As president and commander in chief I take full responsibility for all counterterrorism operations, including the one that inadvertently took the lives of Warren and Giovani.”
Full responsibility? Nice words, but what exactly does that mean?

I know when Amtrak took full responsibility for the DC-NY train crash back in May it meant they were going to be paying huge dollars to the families of the victims, plus fines, etc.

And everyone wanted (and got) BP to accept full responsibility for the Gulf oil spill, which cost them billions. (They set aside 47 BILLION to pay fines, compensation, cleanup costs etc)
"We are taking full responsibility for the spill and we will clean it up, and where people can present legitimate claims for damages we will honor them. We are going to be very, very aggressive in all of that," Tony Hayward told Reuters in an interview on Friday. 

Responsibility.  Full Responsibility.

Seems to me that government employees and elected officials always say that, but never face any consequences.

Just sayin'


Monday, September 07, 2015


Hey, you with the hair-trigger email complaint-

99.825% of the content on this website is MY personal experience or opinion...
If you are mentioned here, it's probably because you and I had some sort of interaction.
If you have issues regarding HOW you are portrayed in this narrative- well, that's in your power to control.
If you want me to write nice things about you, you should behave better.

If you have issues with the content here at Listen 2 Uncle Jay or how you are portrayed in articles herein, you might want to pay a visit our complaint department...
Helen Waite used to run the place, but we have farmed out that service to a local legal firm to be sure we fulfill any legal obligations to out readers...
If you have questions regarding deliverables or should have complaints, please contact the legal firm of Phuckov and Dye, you'll find 'em in the yellow pages.

TBG - - BLΟ ΛΛE, Asshat

Kübler-Ross Would Be Appalled - The Five Stages of Blogging

5 stages- I haz it.
Especially after re-reading that last post. Gah.

Upon seeing or experiencing some inanity or stupidity, the thought of "I cannot believe the AssHattery I am seeing here."

"This shit is so FUBAR I must blog about it! To the Keyboard!"

After several hundred keystrokes, a handful of Google searches, a wiki-wander or three, missing out on going to lunch with the new receptionist, and a deadline looming for getting that new contract done and submitted- you make promises:
"Just 2 more paragraphs. And a link to that picture on
Then I'll get back to that proposal."

On first proofread:
"What the f... Did a third grader write this?
Nope- A third grader would have done a batter job.
Why do I even try? No one reads this shit anyway. Tam probably wrote about this weeks ago and probably did the job 10 times better."


Fuck it. (presses send)
Like I said- no one reads my shit anyway.
Who gives a shit. At least it's free ice cream.


Saturday, September 05, 2015

Tired of Your Bullshit, Asshat. (Australia Gun Control Edition)

A long-time friend and dis-honorary guest member of the ODMQD Breakfast Club, is a staunch repeal-the-second-amendment, Gunz-R-Bad, dope-smoking, granola munching, NYC/LA wannabe, and as such, we just let him babble on and pretty much ignore his crap...
He usually confines himself to basic inanities about how guns should be outlawed, then just collected up like in Australia and all will be right with the world.
Seems a lot of politicians (Obama included) would embrace the Australian model...
Unfortunately, they only hear anecdotal evidence, not hard facts-
(Like that famous '97%' of scientists that feel the science is settled about Anthropological Global Change [obvious horseshit - read HERE], and that 40% of guns are sold without background checks. [Again- Bullshit - Here.)

So Skippy (an obvious nom de idiot, since I don't want to embarrass him too badly) is going on and on about USA shootings in Virginia, Charleston, Aurora, ad infinitum and speaking in glowing terms about Australia, and I just want to smack him in the head and remind him about the Lindt cafe incident last December...

I keep hearing all about how the Australia mandatory gun buy-back confiscation program is just the model we should embrace...Mostly because Obama said so on a podcast with a bullshit moron unfunny soi-disant 'comedian'. (I'm not going to link to it- fuck 'em. You want to read it, GIMF.)

It was soooooo effective...
They got about 1/3 of the outlawed weapons, so in the US it might be about 100 million of the 300+ million guns. And if history is any indicator, US gun owners will not go quietly into that good night. (I do hope that my man Skippy, Bloomberg, Pelosi, Obama, Feinstein, and Sarah Brady are the people going door-to-door to ask people for their guns.)
Interestingly, if somehow, you get a special dispensation to have a gun in Australia, the ploice can come at any time and search your house and property without any kind of a warrant. Is that REALLY what people want?

People think gun crime is non-existent in Australia...
Think again.

Exercise a little Google-fu:
Here, I 'll even help you out. (Gotta be specific about what KIND of shooting or you'll get basketball results for Woollarra and Bundaburg...)


How's about these apples for 2014:

Is Australia staring down the barrel of a gun crisis? (
* There have been 39 people shot in Sydney (in 2014), most related to an ongoing bikie war.
* Conservative estimates say there are more than a quarter-of-a-million illegal firearms in Australia.
* Gun ownership in Australia is back at pre-Port Arthur massacre levels.
* Carrying a gun is becoming more common and ingrained in outlaw culture.
* Gun amnesties barely put a dent in the number of weapons.
* Innocent people are being caught up in gun battles.
* There has been a steady increase in gun-related crimes over the past seven years.
Sydney gun crime: city suffers three shootings in three hours

Sydney home invasions and drive-by shootings whitewashed by NSW Police

Look, Oz isn't the gun-free utopia that Obama, Bloomberg and the rest of the anti-gun proponents believe it to be. Firearm-related incidents don't get the airplay on the US MSM because it doesn't fit the narrative...

Back to Skippy for a minute-
His position is the need to implement the Aussie-style Draconian measures, force a buy-back on a national level, then after the results are sofa-king ridiculously poor, then go door to door to get the rest of the 200 million firearms that possession was, until this little imaginary exercise, a God-give and constitutionally protected right. And he thinks that's doable.

But, on another note, he doesn't believe rounding up the 11 million (more like 20 million, amirite?) illegal aliens (you fuckin'-a right I said it - ILLEGAL. ALIEN.) is remotely possible. We shouldn't even try.
I really don't think he know what a really motivated gun-owning, 2A proponent is capable of, and prepared to do... Because when push comes to knock-knock-give-me-your-guns, I have a feeling Joe USCitizen will not go all round-heel like the Sheilas Down Under.

Gah- I am surrounded by morons.

- Or... Wait. Is it just me?
A fictional Deputy Marshall, Raylan Givens (more on him in a later post) had some great writers doing his dialog from the TV show Justified on Fox.
He once opined:
" run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Lots of truth there, it seems.

I'm going to have to rethink my whole personality evaluation paradigm.
Seems like there are some inconsistencies in it...

(Shit- This post wandered quite a bit... Sorry for the digressions.)

tl:dr  Hey Skippy: Fuck off and die in a fire.