Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Catchy Tune...

...but given their political leanings,
I'm not sure Simon and Garfunkel would approve...

Yours Truly, however, loves it...


Monday, March 30, 2009

For Your Consideration

Skeeter: a 25-year-old white male.

Trucker hat worn backwards, cigarette over the right ear ("for later...") , wifebeater t-shirt, 12-pound silver belt buckle, sparse goatee and 6 to 8 days additional beard growth.

1990- Out with 'the little woman' for a nice dinner.

Skeeter: "Hey hon... Gimme a beer and two dozen wings- ultra hot. Y'know, it's our anniversary...make it a Michelob. She'll have the same."

2009- Same scenario and, unfortunately, the same attire.

Skeeter: "Konichiwa, darlin'. I was thinking going omakase, and mah sweetie here wants the Chirashi bowl... And can ya bring us a coupla bottles of sake?"

Sweetie: "I'd rather have a Kirin...or a Sopporo if you have it."

Times, they are a'changin'.


Saturday, March 28, 2009

Prom Night

For the record, I was very relaxed...

No overt threats, no mentions of shotguns or shallow graves.

(click on pics for full size version)


Thursday, March 26, 2009

A New Member of the Family

A CZAK P64 9mm Makarov

I'll be bringing her home on Monday.

Trying to think of a good name for her... maybe


Quote of the Day 3/26/09

"When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet."
- Lyle Myhur


Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Baseball Game TWSS

Beau's Mother: "My thing came popping out."
Yours Truly: (quietly, to the PC) That's what she said."


Quote of the day - 3/25/09

“Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the Democrats believe every day is April 15.”
- President Ronald Reagan


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hello, Donut King? This is Elvis the King...

Great Googly Moogly!
A peanut butter glazed doughnut with bananas and bacon.

h/t - This is why you're fat.


Monday, March 23, 2009

Urkel's Second Amendment...

For a guy who is supposed the be The Smartest President Evar, and who spent 12 years as professor teaching Constitutional Law at the University of Chicago Law School, Urkel has absolutely no understanding of the second amendment.

Whitehouse.gov US Constitution Site

"The Second Amendment gives citizens the right to bear arms."

This is entirely incorrect.
The Bill of Rights does not give the people ANYTHING, and I doubt you could find a valid Supreme Court decision that backs up that claim.

The Bill of Rights exists as a list of limitations on the Federal Government. A list of things it cannot do. It does not grant anything to the people.

It should read:
"The Second Amendment provides that the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

The current wording implies, and in fact states, that the Constitution GIVES rights, when the Founders clearly held that we are "endowed by our Creator" with our rights and that the purpose of government is to secure those Creator-endowed rights.

In short, the Constitution enshrines and protects our rights, but does not "give" rights. That is a dangerous misinterpretation, because the uninformed citizen might fall prey to the belief that government could also "take away" rights.

As a "Constitutional Scholar" Urkel ought to be ashamed of this garbage on Whitehouse.Gov.

So, now we wait for some backpedaling and for some low-level staffer to get thrown under the Hopenchange Express...


As I look at the rest of the Bill of Rights there are some pretty hideous "interpretations" of the 4th and 5th amendments too...
I'm not going to spoon-feed you...

Look it up here.


Urkel's Army

Urkel's volunteer corps looking for more supporters...

"We're not looking for a fight. That will come later, when we have an army."
"We're still very energetic. We all worked so hard during the campaign. We can't just stop."

Well... There you have it. They're not stopping.

Come to my house, kids... Now or later.
I dare you.
I double-dog dare you...

Yo! Travis!
Are you on the march, or are you still waiting for your marching orders?...
I'm guessing you're part of Urkel's Front Line, with your penchant for shootin' iron.
Between you and the Philly Gang-Bang Cadre (those nice gentlemen who were providing "security" at the polling places on 11/4) and a slew sideways-holding homies, looks like we're going to be living in Interesting Times.


Friday, March 20, 2009

Quote of the Day - 3/20/2009

"Anything that can't be repaired with duct tape can be repaired with cable ties.
And if it can't be repaired with cable ties either, then it isn't worth fixing and you probably shouldn't have bought it in the first place."


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Gone, and Mostly Forgotten: Common Sense.


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 moronic stepbrothers:

Where Is Mine

I Want It Now

Someone Else Is To Blame

I’m A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.


Too Much Free Time


Quote of the Day - 3/19/09

Lifted from The Pirate King over at Pirates! Man your Women!...One of my favorite sites...

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

-- George Orwell


Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Quote of the Day -3/18/2009

"I believe that guns don't kill people; Husbands that come home early do."

- Larry the Cable Guy


Another Poor Bastard Added To The List

I've finally gotten around to adding EZG's site
Piping Hot Garbage to the Linkage list...

Go, Read, Enjoy. In that order.


TWSS 3/18/09

TBG: "Hey, I've got something for you."

SMSH: "That's what she said."

Sometimes I just walk *right* into them...


Tuesday, March 17, 2009

How It Really Happened...


I Might Not Kill Him....

...but he'd find it difficult to use his boy-parts, if he was even able to find out where I buried them.

Lawyer: Accused coach out of his league

Stephen Weixler, 22, at his arraignment Friday in Falmouth District Court on two statutory rape charges. Weixler is accused of having sexual contact with a 14-year-old student and sending her a photograph of his penis via cell phone.
-Cape Cod Times/Paul Blackmore

The attorney for the local high school soccer coach accused of statutory rape of a 14-year-old student said yesterday his client believed the alleged victim was flirting with him.

Weixler's alleged sexual contact with the 14-year-old girl occurred in September, but the teen did not report it until this month, when the school began investigating Weixler for alleged inappropriate text messaging with students.

Now, you'd think that as part of a teaching curriculum, there would be a certain level of training in regards to ethics and moral principals...
But in theory, you shouldn't need it...

In theory, if you are a 22 year old teacher, I don't care if you *think* they're flirting with you, or they even if they *are* flirting with you, you sure as hell don't flirt back...

On second thought, as the parent of a 15 year old who looks about 20...

She's 15...
Remember: I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a big backyard.
And I doubt that anyone would miss you if you were to do something stupid...

Anyone who does something so stupid as send sexually-charged text messages to a fourteen year old needs something more than training.
Castration comes to mind. Dismemberment. Lead poisoning from several well-placed 40 caliber boolits. Drowning. Defenestration.
Training is not going to remedy that flavor of stupidity, and I don't want someone that bereft of common sense anywhere near my daughter...On the soccer field, classroom, church or youth group.


Monday, March 16, 2009

The Kids

Inspired by the new pic over at Travis' site Sports and Swarms I decided to put up a new pic of the Boze-monster.

Waaaay back when (like, in September) she was just a ball of fur and razor blades...

Now she's a proper Lady... Not unlike her Mistress.

(Please excuse the flying finger... Pilot error.)

They grow up so fast... *sniff!*


Change You Can Believe In...

Ripoffs: Obama Collector's Coins Turn Out To Be Stickers Stuck On Regular Coins

"You may have seen the commercial where Montel Williams hawks some goofy collectible coins with President Obama's face IN FULL COLOR OMG."

And to those of you who voted for Hope and Change... Thanks.
You just got us a sticker placed on top of the Carter/Clinton presidencies.

H/T to 21/2 Baker St


Time to Take Inventory

Here it is, folks, and it is bad news. The framework for legislation is already laid, and the Democrats have the votes to pass anything they want to impose upon us.

They really do not believe you need anything more than a brick and a telephone to defend your home and family.

Look at the list and see how many you own.

Remember, it is registration, then confiscation.
It has happened in the UK, in Australia, in Europe, in China; Aand what they have found is that for some reason the criminals do not turn in their weapons...but the criminals are happy that all good law-abiding citizens do.

This serves as a framework for the new list the Brady’s plan to introduce shortly.

Now more than ever, attention to the entire Bill of Rights is critical.

Gun bans will impact our freedoms under search and seizure, due process, confiscated property, states’ rights, free speech, right to assemble and more, in addition to the Second Amendment. The Democrats current gun-ban-list proposal (final list will be worse):

Rifles (or copies or duplicates):
M1 Carbine,
Ruger Mini-14,
Bushmaster XM15,
Armalite M15,
Thompson 1927,
Thompson M1;
NHM 90,
NHM 91,
SA 85,
SA 93,
Olympic Arms PCR;
Calico Liberty ,
Dragunov SVD Sniper Rifle
Dragunov SVU,
Fabrique National FN/FAL,
Thompson 1927 Commando,
Kel-Tec Sub Rifle;
SKS with detachable magazine,
SLG 95,
SLR 95 or 96,
Steyr AU,
Galil and Uzi Sporter,
Galil Sporter, or Galil Sniper Rifle ( Galatz ).

Pistols (or copies or duplicates):
Calico M-110,
MAC-11, or MPA3,
Olympic Arms OA,
TEC-22 Scorpion, or AB-10,

Shotguns (or copies or duplicates):
Armscor 30 BG,
SPAS 12 or LAW 12,
Striker 12,

Catch-all category (for anything missed or new designs):
A semiautomatic rifle that accepts a detachable magazine and has:
(i) a folding or telescoping stock,
(ii) a threaded barrel,
(iii) a pistol grip (which includes ANYTHING that can serve as a grip, see
(iv) a forward grip; or a barrel shroud.

Any semiautomatic rifle with a fixed magazine that can accept more than
10 rounds (except tubular magazine .22 rim fire rifles).
A semiautomatic pistol that has the ability to accept a
detachable magazine, and has:
(i) a second pistol grip,
(ii) a threaded barrel,
(iii) a barrel shroud or
(iv) can accept a detachable magazine outside of the pistol grip, and
(v) a semiautomatic pistol with a fixed magazine that can accept more than 10

A semiautomatic shotgun with:
(i) a folding or telescoping stock,
(ii) a pistol grip (see definition below),
(iii) the ability to accept a detachable magazine or a fixed magazine capacity
of more than 5 rounds, and
(iv) a shotgun with a revolving cylinder.

Frames or receivers for the above are included, along with conversion kits.

Attorney General gets carte blanche to ban guns at will: Under the proposal, the U.S. Attorney General can add any “semiautomatic rifle or shotgun originally designed for military or law enforcement use, or a firearm based on the design of such a firearm, that is not particularly suitable for sporting purposes, as determined by the Attorney General.”

Note that Obama’s pick for this office, Eric Holder, wrote a brief in the Heller case supporting the position that you have no right to have a working firearm in your own home.
In making this determination, the bill says, “there shall be a rebuttable presumption that a firearm procured for use by the United States military or any law enforcement agency is not particularly suitable for sporting purposes, and a shall not be determined to be particularly suitable for sporting purposes solely because the firearm is suitable for use in a sporting event.”

In plain English this means that ANY firearm ever obtained by federal officers or the military is not suitable for the public.

The last part is particularly clever, stating that a firearm doesn’t have a sporting purpose just because it can be used for sporting purpose — is that devious or what?
And of course, “sporting purpose” is a rights infringement with no constitutional or historical support whatsoever, invented by domestic enemies of the right to keep and bear arms to further their cause of disarming the innocent.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Quote of the Day - March 15, 2009

"After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.I sure as hell wouldn't want to live in a society where the only people allowed guns are the police and the military. "
- William Burroughs


Friday, March 13, 2009

Quote of the Day - March 13 2009

Happy Friday the 13th!

"An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it."
- Col. Jeff Cooper


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Rhetoric vs. Reality

So... Still feeling comfortable with your choice?

Is that sick feeling starting to break through yet?
Are you over your hopey-changey "Yes we did!" Kool-aid bender and starting to see what is actually going on?

You are now getting to see the difference between teleprompter-driven rhetoric and stockmarket-killing reality.

What Urkel Voters Expected

The contrast is no longer between the young, personable, historic candidate Urkel and a creaky, cranky old Republican White Guy; It's between what America thought it was getting in a President Urkel - cool, reasonable and beyond partisanship- and what it now sees as the reality of a President Urkel: Government spending out of control, escalation in Afghanistan, hiring lobbyists in his administration, clueless on foreign policy (insulting the UK, dialog with a "moderate" Taliban? Please. $900 Million to Hamas?), increasing broken campaign promises, rampant government growth, more and more and more bureaucrats, a growing list of non-income-tax taxes, and an inevitable slide into Socialism.
And do not get me fucking started on Holder and Gun Control.

What America Actually Ended Up With

I hope you Urkel voters/supporters are taking off your rose-colored glasses and are seeing that this is neither what you were promised, nor what you expected. And for those of us who were paying attention before the election, this is what exactly what we expected, and it's extremely annoying that we told you what was happening, and you just went right ahead and elected this Marxist fraud anyway...

Hey baby...It's not my fault... Bush broke it before he gave it to me...

Let me give you a little equation to work with:

President Urkel x time = stock market crash + ever-diminishing 401k & retirement accts

I hope you're fucking happy.



Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage ?

Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?

Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


Heading to the Cinema?

Why? When you have a real blockbuster showing on CNN and Fox News?


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Quote of the Day - March 10th

“My definition of social justice: those who refuse to work deserve to go hungry.”
-Clayton Cramer


Sunday, March 08, 2009

Colonel Mustard TWSS

Whilst having breakfast with the Perfect Child at Col. Mustard's Phabulous Phat Burgers-

(Written in crayon on the wall)
"OMG! - I'm so full!"
TBG (pointing to graffiti):
"That's what she said."

Perfect Child:
"Dad! I can't believe you said that!"

It had to be said.


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Out of Context - Random Conversations

I was talking to Democrat Dog last night...

Yours Truly:
"You ignorant dumbass liberal, we're trying to save America and our Way of Life!"

Democrat Dog:
"You dumbass ignorant conservative, we're trying to save Humanity and The World!"

I guess you're saving the world when you provide entitlements and useless social programs that throw good money after bad...but not when you are trying to build a strong economic base that provides jobs and national revenue, or getting rid of a dictator who committed genocide against his own people, was a threat to the US and all our allies...


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Excuses excuses!

Dumbass email comment:
"This entire thing is George Bushes fault..."

2 things for my beloved Constant Readers:

One: Use the Comments link. Quit sending me comments via e-mail. Everyone wants to hear your opinion.

Two: Learn proper spelling and punctuation.

Now then, for the Dumbass Urkel Apologist who whined "WE INHERITED THIS MESS! WE ARE NOT ACCOUNTABLE."

Didn't you listen to any of Urkel's campaign rhetoric?
The One was elected because the country thought he could get us out of this mess, NOT complain about inheriting it.

If they shift your attention from what a poor job they are doing, they can screw us even harder.


It Was True Then, It's True Now.

From KK:

"You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The Government cannot give to anybody anything that the Government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is surely the end of any nation's future."

This quote is getting a lot of circulation these days, and quite a few people are attributing it to Abe Lincoln, mostly because it sounds like something he'd say, and they can then use the quote to beat up on Dear Leader...It was actually penned by Dr. Adrian Rodgers in 1931...
No matter who wrote it, it is painfully accurate...

The plan Urkel is advancing asks that American who use the resources of this great nation for their personal benefit pay the costs of entitlements, bailouts and pork-laden stimulus.
This is unreasonable to me.
A man works hard to build a business, hires other to help him and pays them for their effort, then all of them are penalized (taxed) in order to provide for someone who is NOT putting forth an effort to provide for themselves.

If you own a business and need healthy, educated, competent workers, you pay for them.
That is how it works.
If you help foster that business, it grows- more people are hired, more revenue hits the streets.
If you cause a revenue drain, however good intentioned, people are laid off and/or businesses shut down.
Now more people are out of work (collecting unemployment),
and tax revenue goes away.

Now... I'll grant you the Urkel has some good book learnin', but he and his cronies are all career politicians. They have no idea what it's like to grow a business from scratch, what its like to agonize over meeting payroll, to tread that delicate line between overstaffing and overworking loyal employees.

His community organizing skills were all about how to suck entitlements from the Government and distribute it to the people who screamed and shouted most...
"Me me me! Mine mine mine!"

Now it's time to spread the wealth?


I have no problem with taxes FOR APPROPRIATE USES... Real uses, not entitlements, not pork, not bridges to nowhere, and definitely not for growing the already obscenely huge Federal Government.

Perhaps some Constant Readers will remember this rant from awhile back...
I don’t want to hear about how the government can’t operate on only a 15% tax rate. In fact, I’m sick and tired of hearing about the government needing this and that.
I need transportation- I get a car I can afford based on my paycheck and expenses.
I can't go to my boss and say:
"Hey Jim. I've decided after careful consideration and research that the best, safest car I can get is a GasSucker Utility Vehicle Mk II, so I need a big fat raise to get one. And I'll need even more because I need to buy more gas to run the big bastard."
Guess what he'd tell me?

Like all the rest of us, it’s time Congress learned to live within its means—and the only reason I suggested a 15% tax rate instead of a 10% tax rate is because things like interstate highways and carrier groups are Good Things. No deficits except in times of national crisis—and we get to decide what constitutes a crisis, not Congress.
Personally, however, I’d go for a flat 20% until we get the deficit down, and then step it down through 15% until we get a reserve, then down to 10%, IF we can ge it down to 10% - I won’t swear we CAN. There ARE two things I’d give a tax break to - Education (REAL Education, not this BS we get now) and BASIC SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, on ALL FRONTS - the real push-the-frontiers-back stuff. None of this pseudo-science stuff either, like ‘do carrots scream when we cut the tops off before steaming them’.
I might be persuaded to entertain the notion for sole federal funding by sales tax. If you wanted to pay less tax, don’t buy as much.
BUT sure as hell I don’t trust those bastards to introduce a national sales tax and simultaneously drop income tax. What would most likely happen is that we’d be stuck with TWO ways to tax us, and neither would ever be repealed.

Military spending?
Want to fight a war- Sell bonds, just like you used to have to do in the old days. When the war becomes unpopular, then Johnny’ll have to come marching home.

Privatize NASA. End of story.

Don’t get me started on Social Security. That sucker should be taken out to the pond and have it's head held under until it stops kicking.
Privatize it, now.
If the assholes in Congress and White House policy wonks are unable to figure it out, ask Chile to send some of their folks here as consultants.

And speaking of foreigners: end all this foreign aid bullshit, Right Fucking NOW, starting with the United Nations.
We’re heading for a financial crisis in this country, and this is no time to be hosting cocktail parties with taxpayer money. Lending or giving money (especially to your enemies) when you yourself are in debt is the height of stupidity. It’s as true for nations as it is for individuals. The west does not win friends when we throw our money at the socialists and savages of the third world. They just take the money, laugh and see us as weak and deluded, further strengthening their will to destroy us.
Sorry, folks...
Watching the Dow in it's death spiral and seeing that my 401K and what little investments I had are now down to less than 40% of what they were a year ago, and then hear that it's my responsibility to help unemployed mother-of-5 Tonisha stay in her $200,000 home and put gas in her Escalade... Well... it kinda rubs a sore spot I have.

Another item that was appended on KK's email with the quote from Lincoln/Rogers...

“The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of somebody else's money.”
From the Iron Lady... Margaret Thacher.

So true... But you can't sell that to a Democrat. They just twist it around and tell you that that's what Bush was doing for the last 8 years- leveraging the present by spending our kids and grandkids money.
Yeah... That'd be your congress spending all that money... Democrats and Republicans alike.
At some point you are going to have to take a US Government class and learn that just because you don't like the President, the House and Senate have to shoulder a lot of the blame.
(I know, you get a warm and fuzzy feeling when you can give into those Anti-Bush feelings.
Supress those emotional outbursts and look at the REAL cause.)

Oh well... Enough of this. I think I'll go buy a case of .223 at the Gun Shop.
It will hold more value than the equivalent of Citi stock.
Hell, once Urkel and Holder start pushing through AWB 2.0, my rifles might just as well be made of gold; the price on those is going to skyrocket even more.