Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Why?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage ?

Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?

Why do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections ?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

1 comment:

The Mighty Skunk said...

Can't answer too many, but I can answer a few:

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage?

Because cars do better in heavy rain than, say, a cardboard box containing that tuxedo you haven't worn in a few decades.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Because hair is dead and skin is alive. Remember that, the next time you're thinking evil thoughts about that blonde across the bar. Her sexy locks are just dead protein.

Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Because a plane made out of steel (rather than aluminum or carbon fiber) would be too heavy to take off.

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

They don't shrink, but they rot and die of infection in rainy climates if you do not keep them well-sheared. My neighbor has a flock of sheep, and learned this the hard way.