Friday, October 30, 2009


"Is that a banana in your abdominal cavity, or are you just glad to see me?"
Hell, write your own.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

What the....?

It never ceases to amaze me what people consider a "Halloween Costume" these days...

"Better shave your back, there, Skeeter."


Ready When You Are, Boss...

...I've got the ball right here.

Just waiting on your sorry ass to get a move on...



Halloween cocktail...

Bloody brains.

Bottoms up!

(From Yumsugar)


Wednesday, October 28, 2009

New Toy

I'm thinking very seriously about picking up yet another new shootin' iron...

A Bond Arms Snake Slayer. 3.5" barrel; Fires either .410 or .45 Long Colt.

First derringer that feels half-way decent in my island-sized paw...
Bond Arms also sells different caliber barrels, from .22 to .44-40
Quite the versatile little monster.

TBG- Thinking about breaking into the VStrom fund...again.


Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Using the Right Equipment and Mad Skillz...

Over at Say Uncle there is a post regarding Bushmaster's ad in Maxim magazine for their AR15...

The bast part of it are the comments on Uncle's site...
“Of course I’m compensating, if I could kill bad guys with my penis, I wouldn’t need a gun.”



Hoosier Blogmeet


I made a little side trip this weekend and met up with some bloggers whose work I have been reading for some time, but never had the opportunity to meet-
The stars were in alignment and I had the opportunity and the pleasure to meet a passel of fine folk in the Hoosier State.

Tam from View From The Porch, Alpha Geekette Roberta X, Shootin' Buddy (A non-blogger, apparently), Og from Neanderpundit, The Old Grouch, Owen, Red & Amanda (who, sadly, I didn't get to talk to), Joanna from Ready, Fire, Aim, Apologize, Famous the Redhead Bridgid (Barkley's Mom), Open Carrying Wayne, and MrB ("I drive a Prius because it's ECONOMICAL, not because it's Green!")& Midwest Chick, who has excellent taste in Chinese regional cuisine...anyone who likes huajiao* like I do gets instant status in The Big Guy's "Book o' Good Folk"!

Topics ranged from Joanna's writing plans for her novel, goodies and deals at the Indy 1500, gun maintenance, Segways, tactical purses (turses? - Especially cool was Midwest Chick's Cold Steel sheath and blade on hers), recipes, dogs, old radio equipment, Jerry Pournelle, Black Lab Behaviors, sushi, and Strike Hold.

Brigid and I were discussing recipes and a particularly intriguing item caught my interest. I asked if it was on her 'site and she assured me it was. I was trying to remember it today, and figured it would ring a bell when I read the title on her site...
Instead, as I read down the list, every single thing looks tasty and amazing...
And the "B" section is exceptionally well-represented - Bacon Ale Gravy with Bangers and Mash, Bacon and Onion Tart, Bacon and Shrimp Eggs Benedict, Bacon Cheddar Quiche, Bacon Coleslaw, Bacon Florentine Style Quiche, Bacon infused refried beans, Bacon Maple Cupcakes, Bacon Maple Deep Dish Quiche, Bacon Waffles, Bacon Wrapped Appetizers, Bacon Wrapped Filler with Mushrooms and Demi Glace, Bacon Cheddar and Chive Scones, Baconator Pizza with Sourdough Crust...
Hie thee hence, and indulge thyself in her culinary creations...

Back to the Shooty Goodness: Most everyone was carrying... I was triple-heeled- .40 at small of back, Татьяна- my 9x18, in the right pocket, and my S&W lockblade in the left pocket.
I was a little amazed when Wayne passed me heading out to the smoke break and I saw he was open-carrying (a Glock, sadly. But still...) Since carrying in Floria is hush-hush unless you've also got a gold badge clipped to your belt. It was a little strange to see a civilian strapped, especially in Berkley Midwest...

Shooty-types, if you've never gone to a Hoosier Blogmeet, make the time, it's awesome.
As a matter of fact, anyone in North/Central Florida (Robb, Dixie...) that want to split up the drive and expenses for the trip, let me know...

To the blogmeet crew- it was a great time; thanks for making me feel at home...


*Zanthoxylum piperitum, if you really must know...

Monday, October 26, 2009

I-65 Parking Lot 8:36am

I've gone 1 mile in 35 minutes...
Thank Ghod for Saellite Radio.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

North, continued.

North TN, 6:06am, 35 Degrees, 79mph


Saturday, October 24, 2009


Pay attention, Dumbass.

Tonight's 'Oh Shit' moment:

I left the convenience store with a cup of hot coffee in one hand and my keys in the other..
I hooked a finger under the door handle of the blue Honda Element parked at the curb and started to get in...forgetting I was driving a rented gray Chevy Malibu...

I don't know who was more surprised, me or the 60-something lady sitting in the passenger seat.
"Uh...Oh! Shit! Wrong car! Sorry..."
I hot-footed it back to my car before Sheriff Cletus showed up responding to the attempted carjacking call....



Music: Jimmy Buffett - Tampico Trauma

Thursday, October 22, 2009

From The Mailbox

From this morning's mail,
(Thanks RG!)

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
A liberal will demand that those he doesn't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll forward the link to it so that his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sales Pitch

Finally back where I can get Cajun Wings for lunch.
Our usual waitress Becky is pushing a giant thermal mug deal... Buy a 2010 calendar, get a free mug.

As she was making her pitch she said one of the day managers told her that it would keep ice frozen all day, which led to the following exchange:

RH: "She's got testimonials."
TBG: "Is that what they are calling them these days?"
I'm not up on all of the street terms...

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Ex-Military friend from Way Back When:
"So this girl, she had a very masculine beauty..."
Yours Truly: "What are you saying...she had a nice mustache?"



Thursday, October 15, 2009

Motivational Poster #2

Confidence in your mad rock-paper-scissors skillz COULD lead to your downfall...


Never never never ever again...

... Will I eat or even stand downwind of Hakarl.


Greenland Shark, skinned and deboned, cut upand buried for 6 to 8 weeks to rot, then dug up and air-dried for another 2 to 4 months, to remove the urine!
The just slice and serve.

The warning from my host:
"I hope it has rotted correctly. If not, you will be throwing up with the blood and the bad sickness."

Holy crap! This is the absolute most vile "food" substance on Earth.


Motivational Poster #3


Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Bears Got You Down?

Now we have the Bone Brigade getting in on the action.


Marcellus and Horatio Me Pegged

Exit Ghost and HAMLET
HORATIO: He waxes desperate with imagination.
MARCELLUS: Let's follow; 'tis not fit thus to obey him.
HORATIO: Have after. To what issue will this come?...

I really need to get some laundry done...


Jay Young

Monday, October 12, 2009

From Bad to Worse

I'm just imagining an ursine infantry unit armed with Barrett .50 cals following up behind the Bear Cavalry.


Reading Material

It would be wise to read Robert W Service and Jack London (and perhaps a narrative of the Shackleford Expeditions) before you brave the Arctic Circle.

And although Euell Gibbons* would tell you that many parts of a pine tree are edible,
It wouldn't hurt to read Alive by Piers Paul Read, because parts of Homo Sapiens are tastier than a Norwegian Fir.

For those who are interested in this sort of thing, TBG's current read: Stalins Ghost by Martin Cruz Smith


* - Stalking the Blue-Eyed Scallop was one of my favorite Gibbons books..

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Welcome to the Kola Peninsula

Horses? Horses are for Cossack pansies!


Saturday, October 10, 2009


At this point, you probably really don't want to know what's going on with me.
It should suffice to say that close enounters with reindeer, herring, lingonberries, snowbanks and "preserved" (rotten) shark.

I hate US fast food, nut right now I'd kill for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.
(And I'd violate several laws of man and nature for a plate of Cajun Wings from Hooters.)

(Norway or the Highway!)

Poor Lifestyle Choices

Y'know, with all the crap stuck to your face, you are pretty much consigning yourself to a career in the janitorial services industry.
Or the State Department.


Friday, October 09, 2009

Motivational Poster #1


Thursday, October 08, 2009



Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Neighborhood Nazis

You know, I'm not sure I'd want to live in a place where I couldn't have an inflatable rhino on the roof of my house.


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Men Are Shallow


No Love on the Border

After two aborted attempts at crossing into Russia, I'm bailing on the effort.
Russian Border Guard (now with no sense of humor):
"If we see you again our greeting, it will not be so nice as this."
(More prior planning next time!)

In Oulu Finland, hoping for clear skies tonight and Northern Lights.


Go Home While You Still Can...

You know, nothing good happens after midnight.

If you haven't found the right target of opportunity or situation by the witching hour, it's best to concede defeat and head home...
Otherwise you might wind up here.


Monday, October 05, 2009

Unclear on the Concept #325


The Devil is in the Details


Sunday, October 04, 2009


Who the hell are these people and why do they have access to the Intarwebz?



Border crossing

Word has it that a temporary visa process is available at the border crossing at Virolahti.
If not, I'm sure to enjoy a close encounter with the GRU and some of Mr. Kalisnakov's fine infernal machines....

Dosvedanya, tovarische...


Friday, October 02, 2009

Interesting Encounter and Quote, NHL Premiere 2009

We had been drinking pretty heavily...
(Most of my best stories start that way...)
....And we had been thrown out of the Lobby Bar at the Holiday Inn, so our group of ne'er-do-wells and Hockey Hoodlums had retreated to a set of chairs in the lobby, after taking our last round of beverages with us as we left the bar.

A Drunk Finnish Guy stumbles by and starts hitting on one of the NHL Girls (Amanda) at our table...
He sits down on the arm of the chair already occupied by the (horrified) Aliya...
He is drooling and leering, using broken English to chat up Amanda- who has gone deer-in-the-headlights semi-catatonic, barely able to conspicuously show off her wedding ring to the DFG, while he unconsciously waves his ass in Aliya's face.

DFG: "You know, I am thinking that we should go downtown. It is wonderful."
Amanda: "But...but...I'm married!"
DFG: "But of course! So am I! It's perfect!"

He notices BillM and Yours Truly shall we say...Concerned? Protective?
Close enough...

Drunk Finnish Guy: "Oh, my English is not so very good..."
NHL Bill: "Well, my Spinach isn't very good either..." And as he realized what he said he looked at me and says "but I yam what I yam."
I laughed so hard I think I peed in my pants a little bit. The ridiculousness of his statement immediately took all the wind out of my sails, and probably saved Drunk Finnish Guy a certain thumping and a perhaps a bit of reconstructive surgery.
The DFG staggered off to drain his lizard, leaving all of us aghast at his bizarre behavior.

I'm going to have to work on my conversational Spinach, in case this happens again after tomorrow's game...


Unclear on the Concept - Finland

Just so we're all clear on the situation...

This is LAPland.

This timely tip might save you some embarrassment or perhaps jail time.


Thursday, October 01, 2009

Helsinki - Too much time on their hands.

Welcome to the Compuware NHL Premiere Games in Helsinki...
(Isn't that a lovely logo?)

Helsinki is a pretty nice town...
Not that I've seen any of it...

The arena is walking distance to the hotel, so I don't even have the excuse of
"Oops I missed the shuttle bus!"

Hopefully I will have a chance to get out this evening and shoot some pics.

There has been some photo opportunities here in Hartwall Arena.
Seems there's been a good amount of old-school cut and paste going on in the event office.

It started with the pic on the back cover of the game program...

Our favorite NHL CTO Peter DelGiacco making a pitch for Compuware.
(Wish I could get a sweet gig like that. Maybe a sponsorship by Beretta of Ruger?)

Well... You know those event people. Can't leave well enough alone. They have to push it. We have a copier and a nice picture to work with-
Let's see where we can put Peter's picture...

The Hartwall Jokerit Logo?

Cream for your coffee?

How about as a spokesman for the local popcorn vendor?

Then it started turning weird...

Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.
(A crowd favorite!)

And of course, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro...

Seems like everyone wanted to get in on the action...

BillM makes his pitch as Compuware Man.

Aliya as Compuware Spokesmodel

And of course...

The Boys in Broadcasting make an appearance too.

More shenanigans to follow, no doubt.