Sunday, July 31, 2011

Life Is So Hard

It's even harder after you leave college.

Better toughen up, emo jackwagons.
It's a cold hard world out there and it's gonna eat your lunch.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Birds of a Feather

So many observations on this...

1. You are known by the company you keep, and this peer group is pretty pitiful.

2. Boy, 9 million idiots hanging on Obama's every word, awaiting marching orders.

3. By this metric, Lady Gaga would beat Obama in 2012, should she choose to run.
(And would probably be the only one that might do a worse job of leading our country.)

4. Of course, as with most things Obama is involved in, most of his tweets are done by someone else.


Math Humor

Today's Lesson: Find X


Talking Dogs


Friday, July 29, 2011

The Spider of Damocles



Really? Something on the Interwebz could be inaccurate?
Say it ain't so!


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hello, Delta Airlines?

One ticket to Penrith, please.


Lifestyles of the Rich and Clueless

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Public Service Announcement


TheOnesDay® Meme - Boeing Day (7/27 heh.)

 The Political Watches

A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch.
He looks at a watch called "The George HW Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands.
The sales clerk says "You are suppose to read his lips".

He then looks at a watch called "The Sarah Palin Watch" and notices that it isn't running - the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn't run, it runs, it doesn't run . . ."

He then notices a watch called the "Barack Obama Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much.

The sales clerk replies "Fourteen Trillion Dollars. The base price is $109.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax . . ."

Other memebers of the TheOnesDay® group:
Borepatch & PISSED
Because mockery is the most sincere form of political interaction.


Good Enough Reason For Me... vote for her:

PIERS MORGAN,HOST: You said on immigration, "Elect Sarah Palin as President of the US in 2012 and we'll all leave voluntarily."

GEORGE LOPEZ: I agree. If Sarah Palin becomes president .... I will move to Canada.
 Figures he wouldn't go back to Mexico...

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, pendejo.


Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Taxidermy...'re doing it wrong weird.


Monday, July 25, 2011


They forgot Obama/Biden '08.


Sunday, July 24, 2011

Signs Of Our Times - FireTweeter Edition

Common Sense.
Does you haz it?

If you have more than 5,000 followers- you probably don't.


Saturday, July 23, 2011

Vote Them Out

If a person in any way involved in politics thinks incendiary=heat-seeking...

 All of them.


Abuse of Authority - Israeli Edition

Are we sure we want to go the Israeli route on security?
Cause I can see the TSA just LOVING this kind of abuse of authority.

Foreign journalists have told of their distress after being asked to remove their bras for a security check before being allowed into the offices of Israel's prime minister.


I Stand Corrected

In a recent post I mentioned a list of the 3 biggest lies...
1. The check is in the mail.
2. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
3. Size doesn't matter.
Well... It didn't generate a lot of commentary on the 'blog, but I did get several emails.

Let's see...
"You sick bastard..."

"WTF is wrong with you..."

"You, sir, are a sexist, chauvinistic pig..."
Yeah. Whatevs.
Apparently the girls at the office didn't like the pictures.
Read the disclaimer.

I did get four emails that called me on the carpet, as it were, regarding my assertion that these were the three biggest lies.

Constant Reader C.D. remarked that the biggest fib you'll come across on a week to week basis is this two-word sentence:

"Everything's fine."
Yikes. But, sadly, probably very true.
Anyone that has ever come home to their Significant Other and got the 'You're sooo dead' vibe and innocently asked "What's wrong?" has heard this one, or it's equivalent "Nothing".

Reader LAF opines:

"Who's still putting checks in the mail? The big lie in our neck of the woods is 'Why, no, Officer, I haven't been drinking.'
You need to fix that post."
Semi-Constant Reader DD is exceptionally cynical...
She commented that there is a huge number of liars out there in the on-line dating arena.
"Those bastards! Every f%$#@ng one of them is all
'My wife doesn't understand me' or
'I'm getting a divorce.'... Those are the big lies.
You know what guys? You're wife probably understands you perfectly."
Issues... The girl has issues. Well, not just issues, but probably a whole subscription.

The best, of course, is the one lie all of us tell all the time...
A lie I've told countless times, and I'm sure you have too.

From Constant Reader TM:
"You missed the best, most often told lie of all-
'Yes, I have read and agree to the terms and conditions of this EULA'"

(Note to Constant Readers:Help a Blogger out- make a comment; don't just send emails. I know, you don't want to register, or whatever... Comment anonymously! That works too!)


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

TheOnesDay® meme - 7/20

Election season is upon us.

Here we see The One trying out some new TelePrompTer technology.

TelePrompTer - Don't leave home the White House without it...


Monday, July 18, 2011

Interlude, with Fireflies

My schedule had me flying into Hotlanta to to perform Acts of Mass Deconstruction this week.
On a whim I reached out to the Famous Borepatch to see if he and the illustrious markswoman extraordinaire Mrs.Borepach would like to get together for a bite and to wax poetic about politics, glowball warmening, caliber requirements and Other Topics of Common Interest.

To my surprise a) Borepatch was in town b) not overly encumbered with domestic tasking and c) willing to entertain Yours Truly at Camp Fortress Borepatch.
(Item C is most important- I am seldom if ever a good house-guest; Only marginal housebroken, poor table manners, and often household pets go missing after my visits.)
Famous the Borepatch suggested some recoil therapy followed by a sumptuous repast provided by the Borepatch household.
I eagerly accepted, and shortly after noon on Sunday I braved the Atlanta traffic and arrived at Fortress Borepatch to begin festivities.

After a short "How the hell ya been?" sit down (it's been a year and a half since the last time we occupied the relatively same geographic coordinates) we loaded up and headed to the local range.
(Non-paid endorsement - SharpShooters in Roswell is a waaay cool range. Good, knowledgeable folks, indoor range with very nice target trolleys and an amazing air handling system.)

I got to shoot BP's Citadel .45... As nice a compact 1911 as you'll find.
Smooth action, accurate, fun to shoot.
My first shot was dead-bang on the center X. The rest of the first mag was all over the map, including a few shots that might have hit a target hanging in a range in Birmingham...I was anticipating way too much.
I never shoot .45s so it took me a bit to adjust to it.
The amazing Mrs Borepatch was punching tight groups in her Paris Hilton/Zombie target with her little Sig .380. After exhausting her supply of .380, she went out and rented a FN Five-seveN and proceeded to put the plastic needle-shooter through it's paces. It had (IMHO) an overly long take-up pull. I was curious about the trigger reset- BP & Mrs looked for it and found it crisp when they actually felt for it.
Crowd opinion: Not bad; Loud, but not unmanageable handling. Itty-bitty holes made by fairly expensive non-reloadable ammo.

We retired from the field of battle, returning to the Secure Perimeter and the safety thereof, and a veritable feast was arranged. Grilled pork chops a la BP's private label spice rub. The tomato patch was raided to provide a side dish of fried green tomatoes (omg, they were awesome - nothing like a fresh vegetable side made with ingredients that only minutes before had been out on the vine, cavorting in the Georgia sunshine) and a pan of scratch-made biscuits.
Through dinner and into the evening we told tales, discussed topics ranging from pets to politics to kids to travel to Torchwood to topics ad infinitum.
We also kicked around plans for arranging the Great Southern Blogmeet & Blogshoot sometime RSN (Real Soon Now)...Stay tuned for details, Southern Gunbloggers.

As we sat on the back veranda of Fortress Borepatch I was treated to a phenomenon I haven't seen in years- Fireflies floating like will-o-the-wisps in the neighboring yards...
(None inside the actual Secure Perimeter- I think the automated laser turrets zap them as they cross into the no-fly zone of Fortress Borepatch airspace.)

I haven't seen fireflies in I-don't-know-how-long... We never had 'em when I was a kid down in the Keys. We'd see them when we went on vacation up in Central Fl. But we don't have them at the Estrogen Palace either, so it was kinda cool to see them as we discussed the matters of state.

All in all, it was an excellent break in my hectic schedule-
A little relaxation, recharge the bullshit buffers, recoil therapy and home-cooked meal...
What more could an ogre desire?

I extend my thanks to BP & The Mrs for a marvelous day- y'all were awesome.


Sunday, July 17, 2011

Free Advice?


"Be Yourself"
is just about the worst advice you can give to some people.


Hurricane Skullcrusher Advisory

Hurricane Names for 2011

WTF is up with the logic in naming hurricanes?
They need to give storms more threatening names or people just won't take the situation seriously.

For instance-
Weatherdude: "Hurricane Bret is 10 hours from landfall"
Yours Truly: "Bret? Pffft! I can take Bret with one hand tied behind my back."


WD: "Hurricane Smashyourhouseandfuckingkillyourfamily is 10 hours from landfall"
YT: "I'm outta here."


Saturday, July 16, 2011

Fun On A Sunny July Saturday...

Mid-Summer NHL Hockey?

The NY Islanders Blue & White Scrimmage & Skills
Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale NY.

We were talking about it this morning...
There's only one week out of the year where there's no hockey going on...
The NHL Draft is a week after the Stanley Cup Final, then a week after the draft, the first training camps open...

NHL - Shortest off-season in the major leagues.

Woo hoo.


Friday, July 15, 2011

Self Worth

I'm not totally useless...

I can be a bad example or a horrible warning.


Thursday, July 14, 2011

She Should Kill Him

(Now, there is some talk that this is a viral for a water company... It's pretty poor product placement if it is...)


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Math Problems

Math class is the only place where you can buy 60 cantaloupes and
nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.


The One's Day Meme - 7/13

As Borepatch says: TheOnesDay®, which means it's time to mock the powerful.

Air Force One Crashes in the middle of rural Michigan. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.
Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.

"Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?"
"Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly.
"Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?"
"Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped.
"Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning."
"The President of the United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief.
"Well," the farmer sighed, obviously wanting to get back to his work.
"He kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is."


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dumbassery at 26k Feet

But first- Shuttle America (a Delta provider) has some Embraer 170/175s that are pretty sweet.
Not much overhead storage space, but at least I don't have to crawl on my hands and knees to get to my seat, and the coach-class bulkhead seats are awesome.
No actual bulkhead wall, and size 13 seats for my size 13 ass, even with the tray table in the arm of the seat.
I'm liking the GauchoJet 170/175.
(Ask for the Ethel Merman autograph model.)

Now to the fun:

It's only a 2 hour and 15 minute flight. How bad can it get?

Pretty bad, actually.
Bad for some, irritating to others, and amusing to Yours Truly.

Some time ago I had the occasion to discuss air travel and air travelers with a group of Stewardesses Flight Attendants and one of the things that came out of the discussion was Never Press The Call Attendant Button. Not unless you are actually on fire or you've burst a blood vessel and are bleeding out, or the 2 year old next to you has started projectile vomiting.
Never. Press. The. Button.

Especially not for a blanket or a pillow. Not these days, bucko.
Grab one on your way to your seat, or do without.

So, I'm in Bulkhead right, and Mr Dumbass Business Frequent Flyer Guy is in Bulkhead left.
As people are getting on the plane, still clogging up the aisles, Mr Dumbass Business Frequent Flyer Guy (henceforth to be known as "Dumbass") presses the The Button.

Dumbass: (after the Flight Attendant has made her way through the crowd back to his seat) "Could I get a blanket?"

Dude. WTF? What are you, a noob?

FA: "Yes sir, I'll find you one and bring it back once boarding has calmed down."

Dumbass settles back into his seat, oblivious to the eye rolling the FA does as she turns away.

After the stream of humanity heading back into steerage slacks off, the FA shows up with the blanket.

Dumbass: "Oh... Can I get a pillow too?"

Now, I've seen this before, once. But it was done by a mom trying to juggle two kids and the assorted crap one needs when traveling en famile.
BUt this guy? Wow.

She brings Dumbass his pillow and stalks off muttering... This doesn't bode well.

Dumbass is knuckle-deep in his iPhone as the "Shut off your cellphones & other electronics" call is made, and he makes no effort to kill his Angry Birds or whatever the hell he was working on...The FA had to offer two personal invitations to Dumbass to wrap up... Then had to remind him to buckle his seat belt.

We had just finished climb-out and they'd just announced that it was OK to use your electronic toys again and Dumbass is reaching for The Button. Again.

Dumbass: "Can I get some water, please?"
Well, at least he said 'please'.

The FA is getting righteously pissed now. She's seething, and this guy has no clue.
She brings his water, along with a "Ha ha - Only serious" lecture about impatience and waiting the 5 minutes for the FAs to start the beverage service.

They are serving the Biz Class folks their "breakfast" (Yogurt, banana, cereal)... Dumbass sees this, and when they come by for our beverage & pretzels/peanuts, Dumbass come up with this jewel:
Dumbass: "You know, you said in your opening speech 'If there's anything we can do to improve your flight, just let us know...' so... Those bananas looked really good... Do you think I could get one of those?"

Dumbass apparently can't tell the difference between a "Yes sir! Anything for you, Mr Wonderful Customer" and the "You've got to be shitting me, you complete asshole" look.

BUT...she got him his banana.

I thought to myself, this is going to go bad...
He hits that button once more and I'm going to head back to the back of the cabin and hide 'cause I don't want to get blood on my shirt.

So dumbass had his water and banana... And before the FAs could come around to pick up trash he's pushing the damned button again...
"Holy dogshit Batman. This guy is an idiot." I think to myself.
As the FA approached I caught her eye- I've seen that look before...Avenging-Angel-Wrath-of-God stuff...
Dumbass put on his best manners... "Hey, could I bother you for a cup of coffee?"
FA: (through gritted teeth) "Of course. Just a moment, I'll bring you a cup. Cream or Sugar?"
Dumbass: "Oh yeah. Both please."

Now I was absolutely sure that she was going to kill him then-and-there.
She was going to trip and impale him with a ice scoop or or run the beverage cart into his skull or something.
But no.

Not even the cup of hot joe in the lap.


FA: "Here you are... Coffee...Cream...and sugar."
Dumbass: "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it."
FA: (fighting the urge to choke the living shit out of this asshole) "Think nothing of it."
and heads back to the forward cabin.
Dumbass worked on his cuppa for a moment and then took a sip.
And then the straw that broke the camel's back...

He pushed The Button AGAIN...

Oh. My. God. What. The. Fuck. (I know I was thinking it, and I'm absolutely sure the FAs were thinking it.)
I was astounded, trying to figure out what he was going to ask for now.

The FA returned, doing the "Old Stone Face" trying to keep from showing any emotion at all...I have a feeling her mask was about to slip and the Angry Reptile Inside would show through; We'd be faced with an angry Stewardess/Velociraptor biting and slashing her way down the aisle.

Velociraptor/FA: "Yes? What now?"
Dumbass: "Yeah.. I think this coffee is Decaf."


V/FA: "Really. Let. Me. Get. You. Another. Cup."
Dumbass: (handing her the cup) "Thanks. Sorry to be a pain."

You know when your watching a horror movie, and you KNOW Something Really Bad is about to happen, and you're watching on pins and needles, just waiting for the slasher to step out of the shadows, or the giant claw to reach out from under the bed... You just know it is juuuuust about to happen, but you just have to keep watching?
Yeah. That's me, watching this tableau...

The Velociraptor/FA comes back down the aisle with another cup of joe...

Now, I have to imagine that if one aspect of your job is to hand cups of water, soda, coffee or tea to people several hundred times a day, you probably know exactly how to hand someone something without spilling it.
You probably also know how to hand it to them in a way that it is almost 100% guaranteed to spill...

And she did.

And it did.

Right in Mr Dumbass Business Frequent Flyer Guy lap.
It. Was. Awesome.

And she smiled.

And I smiled.

Clever girl...

Karma. It not just for breakfast anymore.

Dream On

I dream of a better world, a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.


Sunday, July 10, 2011

Blatant Thievery -World Net Daily -UPDATED!

UPDATE: WND does the Right Thing!


Sean at An NC Gun Blog had an awesome ATF Gunwalker quote that was definitely a great t-shirt idea...

"Am I the only person on the planet that didn't get guns from the ATF?"

The quote came from a comment on a post at No Lawyers, Only Guns And Money about the expansion for the Gunwalker program to include getting guns into the hands of the drug cartels in Honduras.

But I digress...
Back to the thievery...

People wanted the slogan on a T-Shirt... The ball started rolling, and Sean eventually got a deal to make the T-Shirts with his INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY on it and started to market it.

Someone over at the WND (a waaaay off to the Right website - Conservatism with a heaping helping of bible-thumping and a whole lotta hypocrisy thrown in too) decided to capitalize on the popularity of the shirt... Didn't even have the decency to change the quote just a little bit... Just took it whole-hog.

It's a great shirt-
If you want one, get it from the source, not some two-faces bastards who steal on Saturday and and preach "thou shalt not steal" on Sunday.

WND pulled the product from their E-store and sent Sean an email.
From Sean's site:
After emailed conversation with WND Editor Joseph Farah, they have pulled the shirt from their e-store! He has given me his personal assurance that a full investigation will commence as soon as everyone gets back to the office on Monday!

Mr. Farah, I want to thank you for your quick response to this situation and I look forward to discussing this with you on Monday. It is clear from your swift handling of this that you are committed to honest dealings and I applaud you for it.

Due to the nature of the Internet, a post once published can never really go away. I have retained the post below for you to read, but be assured that Mr. Farah has handled this already and no further emails to him are necessary, unless you wish to email him with your thanks for his proper handling of it.

Good show, Mr. Farah.


Saturday, July 09, 2011

Is That A Fact?

Panetta says U.S. is 'within reach' of defeating Al Qaeda
Defense Secretary Leon Panetta says intelligence uncovered in the Bin Laden raid showed that 10 years of U.S. operations against the terrorist network had left it with 10 to 20 remaining key operatives. Panetta is visiting Afghanistan for the first time as Defense secretary.
Story here

So, are we going to roll the DefCon at US airports back to a reasonable level?
Maybe bring the threat level back to Burnt Umber or ZOMG!Weallgonnadie!!11! or whatever they are using as classifications these days...

Will someone please the DHS and TSA before they start implementing the rectal probe scanners to check us for implant bombs?


Thursday, July 07, 2011

How do you like him now?

via Weird and Pissed Off

New Hardware

Fine new shooty goodness!

Oooo, Shiny!

A Kelley Soule Sight will soon live here...hopefully.

And instead of that leaf sight, maybe a Bullseye Ghost Ring sight.

Heavy barrel, and a loooong magazine tube.

Yes, .44 Magnum... Just like Athena & Minerva.
Holds twelve in the tube and one in the chamber.

No padding back here...
Fist Fits my shoulder perfectly.
(Yikes! Such an egregious {and humorous} misspelling.
I scrupulously avoid any kind of fisting... .44 Mag fisting especially.)

Next up: .44 Recoil Therapy.

(edited for content)

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

TheOnesDay® meme

President Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disney World & Obama said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. Obama said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.'

The third kid said, ' I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.'

Obama was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.'

(as my man Borepatch says: Mockery - it's what's for Breakfast)


Tuesday, July 05, 2011

What Is An American

[I got an e-mail today from a colleague containing a "message from a dentist in Australia". I saw this years ago, but found it amusing that it had resurfaced with attribution changed and the serial numbers filed off. I decided to post it whole rather than just quote it and provide a link...
Some number of Constant Readers (and you commie-pinkos know who you are) would see a "National Review" link and discount it out of hand, and I really would rather those individuals got a fleeting chance to read the whole thing.
It was written in September of 2001, but is so apropos even today. - TBG]

What Is An American?
A primer.

By Peter Ferrara, an associate professor of law at the George Mason University School of Law.
September 25, 2001 9:20 a.m.

ou probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper there an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So I just thought I would write to let them know what an American is, so they would know when they found one.

An American is English…or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or Afghan.
An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them choose.

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God-given right of each man and woman to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need. When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country. 

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.

An American does not have to obey the mad ravings of ignorant, ungodly cruel, old men. American men will not be fooled into giving up their lives to kill innocent people, so that these foolish old men may hold on to power. American women are free to show their beautiful faces to the world, as each of them choose.

An American is free to criticize his government's officials when they are wrong, in his or her own opinion. Then he is free to replace them, by majority vote.

Americans welcome people from all lands, all cultures, all religions, because they are not afraid. They are not afraid that their history, their religion, their beliefs, will be overrun, or forgotten. That is because they know they are free to hold to their religion, their beliefs, their history, as each of them choose.
And just as Americans welcome all, they enjoy the best that everyone has to bring, from all over the world. The best science, the best technology, the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes.
Americans welcome the best, but they also welcome the least. The nation symbol of America welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed.
These in fact are the people who built America. Many of them were working in the twin towers on the morning of September 11, earning a better life for their families.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo and Stalin and Mao Tse-Tung, and every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world.
But in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

So look around you. You may find more Americans in your land than you thought were there. One day they will rise up and overthrow the old, ignorant, tired tyrants that trouble too many lands. Then those lands too will join the community of free and prosperous nations.

And America will welcome them.


Monday, July 04, 2011

Read The Whole Thing...

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

The 56 signatures on the Declaration appear in the positions indicated:

Column 1
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

Column 2
North Carolina:
William Hooper
Joseph Hewes
John Penn
South Carolina:
Edward Rutledge
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton

Column 3
John Hancock
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
George Wythe
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Carter Braxton

Column 4
Robert Morris
Benjamin Rush
Benjamin Franklin
John Morton
George Clymer
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson
George Ross
Caesar Rodney
George Read
Thomas McKean
Column 5

New York:
William Floyd
Philip Livingston
Francis Lewis
Lewis Morris
New Jersey:
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon
Francis Hopkinson
John Hart
Abraham Clark

Column 6
New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
William Whipple
Samuel Adams
John Adams
Robert Treat Paine
Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island:
Stephen Hopkins
William Ellery
Roger Sherman
Samuel Huntington
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott
New Hampshire:
Matthew Thornton


Sunday, July 03, 2011

Breakfast, Part 1

Breakfast I
TWWKMTS and I went to breakfast Saturday morning.
(Over the Ditch Cafe, if you must know... A Blackstone Benedict for Yours Truly, whilst The Woman enjoyed a light and fluffy omelet. Try the hash brown casserole - even better than Cracker Barrel's version of the same, and that's saying something.)

While we were enjoying breakfast, a man came in and walked through the dining area and back to the restroom. As is typical of "fashion" the young man was wearing a track suit, the pants of which were drooping so low that the rear belt line was below his ass.
TWWKMTS: "Apparently he's not familiar with the concept of the drawstring."

This "fashion" statement drives me out of my mind...

Hey, young urban youths:

No one wants to see your underwear.

Now, in Florida they've passed some legislation that "outlaws" stupid fashion statements.

I don't know if they've ever brought someone up on charges of "indecent exposure of boxers" or some such BS; I think it's a waste of money, brains and time to try to legislate intelligence...
I think a more instructive method of behavior modification should be used.

I told TWWKMTS that then next time I saw one of these idiots that I would pick up the nearest bludgeon-like device and approach said mentally-challenged youth.
It would go something like this:

Yours Truly would address SumYute with the crotch of his knickers hanging somewhere around his knees and the waistline somewhere sub-scrotum and poke said Yute with the makeshift shillelagh to get his attention.

YT: "Hey, Dumbass."
SumYute: "W-wh-whut?"
YT: "Since you don't know how to wear your clothes, in 4 seconds I'm going to beat some fashion sense into you. Run. RUN YOU STUPID BASTARD!"

At this point, it can go two ways.
1. Mr. SumYute will start to run, get his feet tangled in his pantaloons and wind up face-down on the pavement. Beating will commence and cease when I feel his fashion sense and the wisdom of wearing clothes in the manner which they were designed has been sufficiently adjusted.
2. Mr. SumYute will repeat his question... "Wh-what?" consuming his head start time and I will commence to beating him immediately, hoping that he will come to his senses and start to run, learning the folly of his way as his feet try to help, but are hindered by his stupid fashion decision. Beating shall resume, hoping to imbue some fashion sense and perhaps a bit of self preservation.

After all when an cudgel-bearing ogre tells your skinny, hip-hop ass to run, if your fashion statement prohibits your movement, then perhaps you are too stupid to be contaminating the gene pool.


Friday, July 01, 2011

Double Standards

Texas troopers recommended felony charges
against Colorado senator in fatal crash.

The Denver Post

Texas troopers had recommended that Colorado Sen. Suzanne Williams be charged with criminally negligent homicide for a fatal highway accident she caused late last year. They also reported she tampered with evidence and was not "forthcoming."

Williams' attorney, David Lane, emphatically denied she tampered with evidence or was untruthful, and he noted that a grand jury in May rejected the troopers' felony recommendations.

This woman is a horrible person and should have resigned her office months ago.

Also of interest:

1. Why are the rules for politicians different? If she was not politically connected she'd have been up on charges MONTHS ago.

2. Note that the Denver Post (as liberal a rag as it gets) makes no mention ANYWHERE that Senator Williams is a Democrat... Had she been on the GOP side of the aisle you'd have seen the "R" after her name or her party affiliation mentioned multiple times in the opening paragraph.

Fuck the Liberal Media.

(Waitress! More rum! In vino veritas...)