Thursday, June 26, 2014

Expensive Weekend

My shits f'ed up, yo.
Working on correcting it.


The weekend started well- the Friday night Ingress get-together was good right until the end when I tried to do an equipment drop with Steve from Houston...
I couldn't get my Samsung S2 to synch up and behave enough to do the swap.
This should have been a harbinger of Things To Come. 

(I hear you saying: What?! An S2? No one uses the S2 anymore. This is 2014, Dumbass. 2010 called, they want their phone back.)

Saturday started a bit late, but good- I met up with the crew for breakfast and we got to work. Good times, good times.

Checking messages during the day, my phone was still acting up- never a good sign..
Worse- it felt like it was running hot... Well- hotter than usual.

Well- screw it. No time to worry now-the project waits for no man. I'll have to do with what I have. 

As we were knocking off for the day, my smartphone dies.
Like dead.
Completely dead - screen black.
And hot? Holy crap it's burning hot.
Like can't-hold-it-without a 2d6 damage roll.

No- it's on the external battery. 4 blue lights.
It is vibrating now and then, just slightly. Like a mackerel laying on the dock- twitching occasionally as it slowly expires.

Great. What the hell else can go wrong?

Everyone has taken off- so I head back beach-bound...

I missed my turn off one street heading for the bridge out of downtown (not paying attention, wound up in wrong lane, dumbass move 1) and just figured I'd circle back by going around the block. (Typical 'downtown' layout, lots of one way streets.

This is when it really got fun. And expensive.

Coming up to a stop, Soccer Mom was in front of me in her MiniVan- taking the right on red...
I'm looking left after seeing her pull into intersection- all still clear so I start to roll on the throttle and look back right....
Soccer Mom was only halfway into the intersection and I was .000002 inches from her bumper.


Oh. Shit.

F'ing lovely...

She pulls up into the parking lot...
I push my FUBARed bike up to the curb.

Bike's not rolling anywhere anytime soon. Left fork is mangled, front fender is in 4 pieces, cracks in faring. Front left brake is toast.

Personal physical harm... Yeah- there's damage.
Deceleration trauma where my cojones hit the gas tank as the bike impacted the back of Soccer Mom's car.
There is going to be some swelling... And not the good kind.

Damage to Minivan- a bare scratch in the vinyl of her back pseudo-bumper.
Virtually nothing.

Me- I'm screwed...
And it hits me... I am in Dark Territory. No cell phone. No camera to document damage.
Shit... no contact list (it's on my phone) of people to call.

Soccer Mom lets me use her phone-
"But only for a minute- I have to go pick up the kids!"

I find an old receipt with the number to the bike repair place in my case on the back of the bike...
I call them, explain the situation and ask them if they can send their truck and bike trailer to pick up my heap of twisted metal...
No- truck is out on another pickup. They'll send a wrecker.


I got Soccer Mom's info and she took off.
I'm on the curb, pissed.

It was especially frustrating as I have no way to alert anyone as to my predicament...

Have you noticed a dearth of payphones now days?
Used to be one on every corner.
Now you can't find them for love nor money.
Besides- even if there was a phone, I didn't have any numbers memorized, they're all on my contact list on my phone... (Or my iPad back home.)

I'm screwed.

90 minutes (or thereabout- I was about to pass out from the heat)
the tow truck showed up.

We wrestled my FJR up on to the flatbed and strapped it down, then headed off to the cycle repair shop in Atlantic Beach.

On arrival I realized Dumbass Mistake #2 - I hadn't latched my "trunk" on the bike. it had blown open and all my shit was strewn along I-95 & Atlantic boulevard...
Things like my riding glasses, gloves, some of my tools, and my bike manual.
Just #$%@*&^!ing lovely.

At the shop, The Mechanic looked at the remains of my bike as one would a bad cheese.

"Yeah, well- the one fork we can fix with new seals.
That other fork and brakes- pretty sure I can get those used locally.
Prolly gonna be 500 in labor and parts. Git it back to ya on Wednesday.
The fender and the other plastic- yeah- that's really gonna cost ya.
Gonna be around 1500 for the new fender & farings.
Lucky the headlights and lenses are ok- that's grand right there."


That's my middle fucking name today.

I left the bike at the shop (duh) and got a ride home from The Mechanic. It was almost 5:30.
Had a looooong chat with Captain Morgan, with an icepack on my crotch the rest of the day and most of the next.

I didn't leave the house again until Monday morning.

Wednesday AM. I am mostly phoneless...
The S2 screen is FUBAR as are some of the comms features- I can plug into it into my laptop and see the device - so it looks like the data is intact.
It can't make or recieve calls.

I've moved my SIM into an old Samsung phone our Phone Maven had on hand for emergencies.
I'm eligible for a new phone (according to our corporate package) in July...
I've already been assigned a new Galaxy S5.
(Phone Maven: No choice- you'll get that one and you'll like it. Or you can go buy your own.)

Picked up my bike Wednesday AM-
Cosmetically, it's bad - duct taped fairings, missing fender, etc.
But I'm back on two wheels, and the swelling has subsided enough that riding is not uncomfortable.

The new farings are ordered and will be here in 3 weeks.

Between parts, labor, taxes, towing, etc...
About a $2500 weekend for me...

The Moral of the story:



Thursday, June 19, 2014

Not Really a Surprise

Friggin' Interweb quizzes...

Which Game of Thrones character would you be?

What about YOU?
Click here to find out.


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Chicken Fried Steak


Overindulgence in Tomball Texas

When I go to Texas there are two things I always try to do...

The first thing is to avoid Bill Miller.

No, not that one.

This one:

Yep- some of the most mediocre BBQ in Texas...

The second thing is to see if KX59 and Belle are available for a sit-down and chat...
It happens now and again...

I tried to hook up with them on in inbound side and they weren't having any, so we settled on the outbound- arranging for a Saturday lunch of Americanized Wiener Schnitzel - the famous Chicken Fried Steak at Goodsens in Tomball.
(A few weeks back KX59 had a post about CFS- I took it as an affront that I hadn't been back to Houston in a while to partake, and I left a nasty comment to let him know I'd been offended.)

Holy mackerel- I should have done my homework... Or at least re-read my blogpost from the last time we went there.
1.) Unless you're REALLY #@$%ing hungry, order the SMALL chicken fried steak
(Because the large is basically a battered and fried, bathmat-sized, drooping-over-the-edges-of-the-plate behemoth.) (No, no pics - no wide-angle lens on my cellphone.)

2.) If you order the SMALL, you will have room for the amazing desserts
Like this:

(pic by Belle)

3. If you are truly a glutton- and you HAVE the large CFS, AND you order the banana pudding for dessert, the mandatory 90 minute digestive-processing chat with KX59 and Belle will be invoked- because it was going to be almost impossible to trundle my bulk out to the car and head to the airport afterward.

Conversation ranged far and wide- family, blogging, work, politics-
We were able to shame Belle back into posting on her blog, KX and I discussed IT mentality and traded stories about the architectural trade...
Good times- good times...

All good things must come to an end- I headed back to Jax.

This phase of the day was even worse- trying to squeeze into an Embraer 125 is nearly an impossibility  for me on a good day-
It was a disturbing Matryoshka flew to Jacksonville that day... Iced-tea soaked chicken fried steak, wrapped in banana pudding, inside an ogre, inside a airplane the size of a toothpaste tube...
(If a turkey + duck + chicken = Turducken, I don't want to contemplate what you'd call CFS+pudding+ogre+airplane.  Eww.)

KX59 and the Lovely Belle - they headed off to do what Texans do... Basically desiccate in the 110-degree heat, and uphold the fine Texas tradition of Bad Mouthing Every Other State In The US Because They Aren't Texas.
God love 'em.


Texas, By Ghod.
Texas Women & Repression

Last week I was in Texas...
San Antonio, via Houston to be exact.

When I booked my ticket, the San Antonio Spurs had just won the NBA West Conference Finals and were going to be playing the Miami Heat.

I had checked the tickets the day before (to see what it would cost to go to Oklahoma City, in case the Thunder won the West) and the tix were an oh-so-reasonable $419.

The following morning the tickets were $1000+.
Fucking Air Pirates.
It was more economical to fly into IAH and rent a car for a day to drive the 4 hours to San Antonio (and the same going back) - full size rental was $71 and gas was $29.
Was it worth the time? Probably.
(What was my choice? A connection in IAH, and another 40 minutes in the air and claiming my bags in SA, and a $60 taxi ride to downtown?)

After a week of Tex Mex & BBQ, a bomb scare, a heavenly burrata, and a close encounter with a clueless security drone, it was time to head out...

But not before telling stories of a couple more interesting encounters...

First- during the bomb scare I headed a couple blocks away and found a bar to cool my jets in while waiting for the all-clear.
(Because standing across the street [like the 50 or 60 other displaced people like me] from a building that may or may not have a bomb in it is, in my opinion, a stupid idea.)

It was a small, dimly-lit little wine-and-cocktails place with a snotty bartender- unimpressed when I asked for iced tea rather than a $10 mojito or a $12 Pinot Grigio.
There were 4 women also at the bar- looking a little more "In town for a business conference" than "Ladies Who Lunch" or something more social...

Since there was only about 8 seats at the bar I was relatively close to them and could hear the gist of the conversation, I gathered a) they were from a conference at the hotel and they were also displaced by the Drama Therein and b) they were Texas Women and that means trouble.

I did my best to become part of the scenery and was mostly successful, in that I did not intrude in their conversation, neither was I drawn into any interaction, but merely observed the species in the native environment- where I got to see the Texas Transformation...
Things were relatively calm: chatter regarding alcohol, fashion, the Drama at the hotel and upcoming business plans- mundane stuff- until one of the girls mentioned another's Ex.
Holy Mother of Ghod- one of them, a stereotypical big-haired blonde of statuesque proportions went from Zero-to-BatshitCrazy in .005 seconds.

This woman went from reserved and elegant to fire-breathing cast-iron bitch in a heartbeat. I've never seen such a shift in personality so fast...


Whoa. Check please!

I got the hell out before I became a target of convenience...


My work location in San Antonio was in a conference room populated with a few Yankee females that seemed somewhat humorless and probably not willing to Put Up With My Shit...
(My Shit= That's What She Said, Firearm Humor, Conservative Commentary, and Southern Colloquialisms)
They spent a reasonable amount of time on the phone and I had to repress a huge number of opportunities to TWSS the comment, which would have ended with a phone call to, or an email from Human Resources.
I also had to repress the urge to preface or close every conversation with Honey, Sugar, Sweetheart or Darlin'... Again... HR would be involved, aspersions cast, ogres chastized for insensitivity.
Nope, don't need none of that.
I was afraid, however- those comments and quips have to go somewhere, and repression like that would be detrimental to my alimentary system- you know: if it doesn't come out one end, it will probably come out the other...

But I survived without offending my co-workers- neither by my language or by repression-caused flatulence... Thank Ghod.
(Because a steady diet of Tex Mex doesn't make that kind of good manners easy.)

Next: Wiener Schnitzel Chicken Fried Steak and Good Company


Thursday, June 12, 2014

Confiscate All Guns - Just Like Australia!

...'Cause it's working out so well for them.

POLICE are seizing guns at an unprecedented rate amid deep alarm at the number of illegal firearms in the hands of criminals.
The rate of people caught illegally carrying and using guns in Victoria has jumped by 30 per cent in the past decade as black marketeers cash in.
The .338-calibre Savage Arms rifle held by Assistant Commissioner Steve Fontana (pictured) is just one example of the kind of firepower generating concern.
But..but...but... Australia is so safe because 'No Guns!'...
WTF, Mate.
Capable of firing a bullet over a distance of more than 1km, it was found by the police’s Santiago organised crime taskforce.
In recent days, guns have been seized from members of the Finks and Outlaws motorcycle gangs. Police confiscated eight guns after a raid sparked by a drive-by shooting at a Lalor house at the weekend.
A drive-by? I though that only happened in gun-crazy USA.
Mr Fontana said drug dealers were a key part of the market in trafficking illegal guns. He was speaking before Operation Unification, a two-week nationwide crackdown on illegal firearms, which starts next Monday.
Mr Fontana said a major priority for police was trying to ensure licensed firearms owners and dealers properly secure their weapons.
Illegal firearms? Goodness me!
“There is … a concerning trend in Victoria around firearm theft from rural properties, with some of these stolen firearms finding their way to criminals connected to the drug trade and organised crime,” he said.
Mr Fontana said he was concerned at the common use of guns in drive-by shooting attacks and road rage. “The risk is that someone is going to be killed … an innocent person (or) a police officer,” he said.
“We’re responding to so many shooting incidents now. We’ve got road-rage incidents where weapons are produced.” Mr Fontana said guns were increasingly being used in kidnappings where victims were taken to retrieve a debt.
“Some (victims) have been shot and they’re still uncooperative,” he said.
Mr Fontana said bikies were major players in the illegal guns world.
“We know they’ve got some really nasty weapons. They’re moving them around all the time.”

Mr Fontana said public help was crucial in getting guns out of the wrong hands and anyone knowing of people keeping firearms illegally should come forward.
“Information from the public about illegal firearm activity could save a life or prevent someone in the community being seriously injured,” he said.
Yep. That's exactly how it would work here...


Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Food: San Antonio

So after being in San Antonio for a couple days, I have been inundated with TexMex and Bar-B-Que.
This I have no problem with...
But Man does not live by Carnitas & Rib Tips alone...

I heard about an Italian place in North SA that needed looking into.
Dough - Pizzeria Napoletana

"When they thought about what type of pizzeria they wanted the restaurant to be, they focused on Italy, specifically Naples, Italy. They knew they wanted to bring the oven from Italy, the menu to be focused on Southern Italian cuisine and the wines - all Italian. Whether people grew up in Italy, traveled there, or just love Neapolitan style pizza, they wanted to make Dough everyone's go to place for their pizza craving!"
(from their website)

Man! Winner.
They make their own burrata, a fresh Italian cheese, made from mozzarella and cream. The outer shell is solid mozzarella while the inside contains both mozzarella and cream, giving it an unusual, soft texture.

I had the Burrata Napolitana.
It. Was. Amazing.

If you are in the area, go.
'Nuff said.


And another little slice of hell I found at a CVS while on walkabout during the bomb scare this afternoon...

Really, Nestlé?
Why are you so evil?


Drama in San Antonio

Really? A bomb scare at 3:30 on a Tuesday afternoon?

And its 100 farking degrees in the shade...thank ghod there isn't any shade out here.

They're saying it will be 3 hours to sweep and clear the building.


The Interweb Is Forever - I'm Screwed

It looks like 'Mental Health/Illness' will be the petard which will hoist Gun Rights folks.

The problem is who gets to quantify your mental health quotient, and by what criteria, and how will the criteria be collected?

What if, in lieu of an actual lab visit or a hundred page questionnaire, They (the ubiquitous 'they') decide that one's body of work (Facebook? Blog? Instagram photos?) could be analyzed and the citizen can then be adjudged mentally askew?

Is this a possibility? You betchur ass...

There is a new version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) and the difference between the old one (DSM IV) and the new one (DSM 5) ain't just the cutover from roman to arabic numerals in the title.
Many of the changes in DSM-5 were made to better characterize symptoms and behaviors of groups of people who are currently seeking clinical help but whose symptoms are not well defined by DSM-IV (meaning they are less likely to have access to treatment). Our hope is that by more accurately defining disorders, diagnosis and clinical care will be improved and new research will be facilitated to further our understanding of mental disorders.
 The APA has quite a comprehensive set of tools for assessment of mental disorders...
Some of these tools are pretty vague on making assessments-
Level 2 Cross-Cutting Symptom Measures
For Adults
LEVEL 2—Depression—Adult (PROMIS Emotional Distress—Depression—Short Form)
LEVEL 2—Anger—Adult (PROMIS Emotional Distress—Anger—Short Form)
LEVEL 2—Mania—Adult (Altman Self-Rating Mania Scale [ASRM])
LEVEL 2—Anxiety—Adult (PROMIS Emotional Distress—Anxiety—Short Form)
LEVEL 2—Somatic Symptom—Adult (Patient Health Questionnaire 15 Somatic Symptom Severity Scale [PHQ-15])
LEVEL 2—Sleep Disturbance—Adult (PROMIS—Sleep Disturbance—Short Form)
LEVEL 2—Repetitive Thoughts and Behaviors—Adult (Adapted from the Florida Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory [FOCI] Severity Scale [Part B])
LEVEL 2—Substance Use—Adult (Adapted from the NIDA-Modified ASSIST)
Now- if you look at the Level 2 - Anger Section - you find instruction for evaluation:
Instructions: On the DSM-5 Level 1 cross-cutting questionnaire that you just completed, you indicated that during the past 2 weeks you (the individual receiving care) have been bothered by “feeling irritated, grouchy, or angry” at a mild or greater level of severity. The questions below ask about these feelings in more detail and especially how often you (the individual receiving care) have been bothered by a list of symptoms during the past 7 days.  Please respond to each item by marking (x) one box per row.

 In the past SEVEN (7) DAYS....
   Item                                                           Never  Rarely  Sometimes  Often  Always
1.  I was irritated more than people knew.    ☐  1    ☐ 2         ☐ 3           ☐ 4         ☐ 5
2.  I felt angry.                                                    ☐  1    ☐ 2         ☐ 3           ☐ 4         ☐ 5
3.  I felt like I was ready to explode.                ☐  1    ☐ 2          ☐ 3          ☐ 4         ☐ 5
4.  I was grouchy.                                               ☐  1    ☐ 2         ☐ 3           ☐ 4         ☐ 5
5.  I felt annoyed.                                               ☐  1    ☐ 2         ☐ 3           ☐ 4         ☐ 5
 Now, this being the short form for evaluating how 'angry' someone is, could the Thought Police decide that reading over someone's daily rantings on a weblog and apply the same yardstick? It would be just a short hop to making a decision that someblogger is a full bubble off plumb, and should have their Second Amendment rights amputated.

The APA has a hell of a catch-22 involved here...
In the APA's policy document they talk out both sides of their faces:
The American Psychiatric Association recognizes the
critical public health need for action to promote safe
communities and reduce mortality due to firearm-related
violence. As such, the APA supports the following actions:
2.  Research and training on the causes of violence and its
effective control should be a national priority.
a.  Given the difficulty in accurately identifying those
persons likely to commit acts of violence, federal
resources should be directed toward the development
and testing of methods that assist in the identification
of high-risk individuals.

c.  Psychiatrists, as well as other physicians and
health professionals, must continue to be trained
to assess and respond to those individuals who
may be at heightened risk
for violence or suicide.
Such training should include education about
speaking with patients about firearm access and
safety. Appropriate federal and state resources
should be allocated for training of these professionals.
It is shortly followed up in the document with:
3.  Recent attention to the mental health system has
highlighted the need for improved services and access
to care.

c.  Because privacy in mental health treatment is
essential to encourage persons in need of treatment

to seek care, laws mandating psychiatrists and other
mental health professionals to report to law enforcement
officials everyone who appears to be a danger to
themselves or others are likely to be counterproductive
and should not be adopted.
According to the above, they (the HeadShrinkers) can't report you for being nuts, but they COULD suggest that some Gummint Agency check you out on the Intarweb and see what you've written.

The Media (and some law enforcement) are all about publishing on-line rantings from Facebook, Twitter, etc every time someone commits suicide-by-LEO...
How far off are we from a 'concerned citizen' SWATting a blogger because the content of the 'blog is a little too 'angry' a little too often?

I had to shut down my blog a couple years back because I was concerned it would be used against me during a workplace incident...
I am now wondering if my "dammit-the-assholes-are-all-around-me" on-line ravings from the last nine years will be my downfall...

(And as the title of this post implies, just deleting the posts won't do any good...
I did some searches on some really old stuff that came up with no problems...
Not good.)


Monday, June 09, 2014

Stupid Request of the Night - 6/8

I was standing in the sub-concourse of the AT&T Center last night about 10 minutes before the start of the game...
I was in kind of a central location so I could get to courtside easily or get to the other support offices with as much ease...

So I was just standing back, out of the way because the Heat players had just left to court to go back to the locker room between the pre-game shoot-around and the actual spotlights & music re-entry. Everyone from the cheerleaders to maintenance guys, tech support and various league personnel all milling around to get a look at King James and DWade.
As I stood back minding my own business, a security guy approached me from my right...
SG: "Sir... Who do you work for?"
I looked at him like he was speaking Kyrgyzstani... (Keeping in mind I'm wearing a 5"x7" credential around my neck with my picture, company name & "all access/all games" notation. I'm allowed to be here.. I'm even trying to keep the hell out of the way. Why is this idjit fucking with me?)
Yours Truly: "I work for the league. Scoring and IT Tech Support. What's the problem?"

SG: "Sir, are you carrying a weapon?"
He's speaking to me, but watching the hallway and the 'sterile' hallway area.

Ok... Now I'm puzzled.
YT: "No..."  Thinking: Not that I couldn't kill you right here, right now, since you are waaaay too close to me and not really paying attention to what I'm doing.
Security note: If you think I'm enough of a threat that we need to chat- you better fucking pay attention to me when we're talking...
SG: "Sir, it looks to me like you have a knife in your pocket."

Jeebus Pete- you must be fucking joking.
In the realm of 'dangerous shit' a Leatherman donesn't even show up on my radar of Offensive Weapons. (Improvised Weapons, sure- along with most of the other crap in my pockets including the handful of change.)
YT: "My Leatherman? It's not a weapon, it's a tool."
SG: "Sir- I need you to unclip it and put it down inside your pocket."
I gave him my patented "You're shitting me, right?" look.
It's not going to be worth the time to explain to him what a stupid request he was making.
YT: "Fine. No problem."
I unclipped it and slipped it in my pocket. Like 2.5 inches down my pocket is going to make a difference if I had malice aforethought.

There you have it...
The world is safer since my Leatherman is not clipped to the top of my pocket.

I wish the TSA would have a similar policy about multi-tools.
Just keep it out of sight so the sheep don't get nervous.
As opposed to outright confiscation.


Wednesday, June 04, 2014

The Tequila Roundtable: Truths - Part 1

Imagine, if you will, being a fly on the wall at a local purveyor of *cough* fine Mexican cuisine. On an occasional basis a group of local ne'er-do-wells gather to discuss matters of state, swill white-label tequila, and deplete the local supply of carnitas and chorizo tacos.
This is a loosly-transcribed distillation of the conversation... 

I. Edumacation

The Degenerate: When I was just a rotten kid in [redacted], I usually got just a little more than my RDA of trouble in school... I spent a reasonable amount of time in the Admin office getting 'counseled' regarding behavior and cautioned that there could possible entries in my "PERMANENT RECORD"... That thick file that follows you all your life...
At the time, I think we had some notion of a large hanging folder in a large file cabinet in the Vatican that was available to everyone to see what horrible things you did in 3rd grade.

The Barrister: I think that particular Sword of Damocles is largely gone these days...
But kids should be worried about other things now.

The Ogre: If you're in high school and suffering, don't worry. (and if you're in high school and reading this website, WTF Dude- Don't you have studying to do?)
High School doesn't f'ing matter. College barely matters.
Just make sure you pass; For most careers, your grades don't really matter.
Also, the Internet is your "permanent record"; Regardless of what they told you in those many trips to the principal's office, there's nothing in High School that follows you.

The Barrister: Let me clarify this a bit:  Elementary, Jr. High, High School, and University grades matter immensely for some careers.
Let's say you want to be a researcher of some sort. Without a training, learning, and constantly getting better 'learning skills' throughout your education,these careers are barred for you.
Elementary and Jr High matter because this is where you learn the skills to be a scholar. They are training for what matters.

The Ogre: Ah. That's where I screwed up...

The Bean Counter: Getting into a top university is dependent on doing extremely well in HS and getting into a top grad program and securing a famous adviser depends on doing great in undergrad. (TBG's Note: Or being a mediocre student but being in a recognized minority. PS - "Stoner" is not a recognized minority unless you're from Hawaii. )

The Barrister: You will not have a career in academia unless you have both a famous adviser, papers in top journals, and a PhD from a top tier school in your field.
Even then- it would be a miracle.
So unless you're walking on water, get the skills and the sheepskin.

The Ogre: Any college major 'they' (counselors, etc) tell you is going to make you a lot of money, will not. By the time you graduate, all the sheep will have flocked to it and over saturated the market- essentially making the degree worthless unless you're genius level at what you do, or have (or can make) powerful connections.
But trust me on the Internet thing. That shit on Facebook and Instagram will hunt you down and kill you.

The Pragmatist (the heaviest drinker of our klatsch):
College is about three things:
1. Showing you can do the work to get the degree so employers can have a basic level of trust that you won't fuck up their shit.
2. Making connections with people who might be able to help you make money/get more opportunities in the future. Align yourself with winners, not people who bitch about life and how unfair shit is. End of the day, who really gives a fuck? No one.
3. Do as much fun stupid shit as you can as long as none of it gets posted on the internet. Once you start working, you'll be under much closer scrutiny since your work affects other people's livelihood's directly. Get as much bullshit out of your system as possible. Never drink to the point where you black out, losing control is for losers with low self worth aka most women you'll meet at college.
At this point there is much derision and ridicule for the Pragmatist...
"Gee. Great job coming at the end and giving a half-baked profanity-laced summary.
F'ing Wanker."

II - Work

The Degenerate: When you start working full time in whatever job you land in remember that, unless you are in a skill position, how you do your job matter less than your ability to establish and maintain political relationships.
Companies have zero loyalty to their workers.
Don't ever think that a company cares about you, even if you have a cool boss. They will feed you to jellyfish and stream that shit live to YouTube if it increases revenue by 1%.

The Bean Counter: The people you work for don't play by the same rules that they want you to play by. It's no secret how the powerful get (and stay) powerful: by taking advantage of everyone below them, and out-politicking those above them. Get good at both if money means anything to you.

The Pragmatist: Wonder why the assholes who shirk work all fucking day get promoted and get taken out by management for a three-martini lunch while you're stuck doing shit work?
Hint: Shmoozing is better return on investment than actually working.
Welcome to the First World.

The Barrister: Again, with that cool boss thing- don't let them fool you. Until you are the same level, you're just a chess piece.  No matter how much your boss is nice to you, everything they say is just to get you to work harder for them. They are not your friend, and becoming friends with them is a mistake.
All you are is a tool.
When you stop being useful you will be let go, so never let that happen.

The Ogre: Do everything possible to work for yourself. The rat race is just that; don't participate.

Money is literally the only point of work, pick something that pays a lot and do whatever artsy fartsy stuff you are interested in on the side, because if you think you're going to make money from it, you're out of you frimping gourd.
97%* of people who try to be artists for a living fail and end up working at Burger King.

TL;DR It's not what you know, it's who you know.

III - Misc Addenda
The Barrister: Most people you will meet are idiots, but because there are so many of them you look like the odd-man-out. Don't be discouraged.

The Pragmatist: No one, not even your therapist, gives a rat's ass about your feelings unless it affects their ability to maintain their lifestyle directly.

The Ogre: There's a reason why governments demand a monopoly on violence and forbid its use by most of its citizens: Violence usually gets results.

The Pragmatist: Whether physical, economic, emotional, or political, if you need shit done, just fucking get shit done. Have a vision and stick to it. It's better to fail on your terms than succeed on someone else's. Being nice and compliant is a great way to get screwed.

Casa Maria - twice a month whether we need it or not.
Lots more from this group of miscreants...

*I picked this statistic out of my head. It's probably a lot smaller. GIMF-'what percentage of artists are successful'.


From The Spam Folder

This was a good one from my spam folder...
Nestled down among the scam mailings for Russian brides, Nigerian banks, hardware enlargements, credit score report alerts, Linked-In requests from porn actresses and phishing schemes from people pretending to be Fed-Ex, AmEx, CitiBank, Chase and (my favorite) Diners Club, I found a goodie today...
It has come to our attention that someone recently ran a background check on you.

You can find out more by visiting the link below.

Go Here Now:

Thank You
I'm pretty sure that at least once a week someone plugs some subset of my historical data into a query that shows up in the Gummint's Big Ironmongery and discovers that I'm listed in one or another "people you probably shouldn't fuck around with." database.

But, seriously, does this work on ANYONE?

Well... Truth be told, I know quite a few people that would click on that link, but most of them have an on-call son-in-law/nephew/neice/kid-next-door that has spent untold hours removing malware and rogue toolbars.

This guy would probably click on that link...

I'd probably do it... From YOUR computer.



Monday, June 02, 2014

The Cure Is Worse Than The Malady

Need an antidepressant?

Stay the hell away from Anafranil (clomipramine).

I'm going to list this first because some Constant Readers are TL;DRs-

Genitourinary Effects-

Decreased nocturnal penile tumescence and delayed ejaculation have been reported.
Cases of spontaneous orgasm associated with yawning and clomipramine (the active ingredient contained in Anafranil) therapy have been reported.
Genitourinary side effects have been reported frequently and have included sexual dysfunction (involving anorgasmia, impotence and decreased libido). Urinary retention has also been reported.
Spontaneous orgasm due to yawning? Are you kidding me? Don't take this stuff on Sunday morning before heading off to church, Jocko.

Yeah- it'll ease your depression, but at what cost?

From the listed side effects at

More common effects:  (Emphasis mine)
  • Bladder pain
  • bloody or cloudy urine
  • blurred vision
  • body aches or pain
  • burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles", or tingling feelings
  • confusion
  • congestion
  • continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in the ears
  • cough
  • difficult, burning, or painful urination
  • discouragement
  • dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position
  • dryness or soreness of the throat
  • excessive muscle tone
  • fear or nervousness
  • feeling sad or empty - I thought this stuff was supposed to prevent this?
  • fever
  • frequent urge to urinate
  • hearing loss
  • hoarseness
  • irritability
  • lack of appetite
  • loss of interest or pleasure -  Same as above.
  • lower back or side pain
  • muscle stiffness
  • muscle tension or tightness
  • muscle twitching or jerking
  • pain or tenderness around the eyes and cheekbones
  • poor concentration
  • problems in urination or increase in the amount of urine
  • rhythmic movement of muscles
  • runny nose
  • shortness of breath or troubled breathing
  • sneezing
  • stuffy nose
  • sweating
  • tender, swollen glands in the neck
  • tightness of the chest or wheezing
  • tiredness
  • trouble concentrating
  • trouble remembering
  • trouble sleeping
  • trouble swallowing
  • unusual tiredness or weakness
  • voice changes
Less common effects:

  • Anger that is hard to control
  • anxiety
  • bloody nose
  • breast enlargement
  • burning, dry, or itching eyes
  • burning while urinating
  • changes in vision
  • chills
  • crying
  • decrease in the frequency of urination
  • decrease in urine volume
  • depersonalization
  • difficulty in passing urine (dribbling)
  • difficulty in speaking
  • discharge or excessive tearing
  • dry mouth
  • dysphoria
  • earache
  • euphoria
  • fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse
  • feeling of unreality
  • headache, severe and throbbing
  • hyperventilation
  • increased clear or white vaginal discharge
  • increased watering of the mouth
  • irregular heartbeats
  • irritability
  • itching of the vagina or genital area
  • mental depression
  • nausea or vomiting
  • numbness, tingling, pain, or weakness in the hands or feet
  • pain during sexual intercourse
  • pale skin
  • panic attacks
  • paranoia
  • partial or slight paralysis
  • quick to react or overreact emotionally
  • rapidly changing moods
  • redness or swelling in the ear
  • redness, pain, or swelling of the eye, eyelid, or inner lining of the eyelid
  • restlessness
  • sense of detachment from self or body
  • shaking
  • swelling of the face, fingers, feet, or lower legs
  • thick, white vaginal discharge with no odor or with a mild odor
  • troubled breathing with exertion
  • unusual bleeding or bruising

Some other side effects of clomipramine may occur that usually do not need medical attention. These side effects may go away during treatment as your body adjusts to the medicine. Also, your health care professional may be able to tell you about ways to prevent or reduce some of these side effects. Check with your health care professional if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome or if you have any questions about them:
More common:
  • Acid or sour stomach
  • bad, unusual, or unpleasant aftertaste
  • belching
  • blemishes on the skin
  • blistering, crusting, irritation, itching, or reddening of the skin
  • bloated
  • change in taste
  • change or problem with discharge of semen
  • changes in vision
  • constipation
  • cracked, dry, or scaly skin
  • cramps
  • darkening or lightening of skin color
  • decreased interest in sexual intercourse
  • diarrhea
  • difficulty with moving
  • dry skin
  • excess air or gas in the stomach or intestines
  • feeling of warmth
  • full feeling
  • heartburn
  • heavy bleeding
  • hives or welts
  • inability to have or keep an erection
  • increased appetite
  • increased in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance
  • increased interest in sexual intercourse
  • indigestion
  • joint pain
  • loss in sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance
  • pain
  • passing gas
  • pimples
  • redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest
  • redness of the skin
  • shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, or feet
  • skin rash
  • stomach discomfort, upset, or pain
  • swelling
  • swollen joints
  • trembling or shaking of the hands or feet
Less common:
  • Absent, missed, or irregular menstrual periods
  • breast pain
  • increased yawning
  • pinpoint red or purple spots on the skin
  • sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or tongue or inside the mouth
  • stopping of menstrual bleeding

Oh HELLS no!

I'll just stick with my regular depression...
Rum & Coke with a twist of lime (to prevent scurvy)

Screw modern medicine- that shit will kill you.