Sunday, February 28, 2010

Wow. I'm staying at the IBC tonight...

Teh crazies are running wild in the streets of Vancoober.
Yes, Canada won the gold medal hockey game.
Yippee.


Jeebus. Why couldn't it have been anyone other than Crosby...

Things are getting nasty on the US/CAN front, if the entries on
TFLN are an indicator:
(940):Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

The city shut down alcohol sales at 2:00pm today.
Doubtful that it will do any good...

The aerial video feeds are showing the streets between here and my hotel are just jammed with people. It looks like New Years Eve in Times Square out there.
They've shut down the bus system because the streets are just too full of people.




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Sochi 2014 Mascot

The Mascot for the 2014 Olympics in Sochi has been chosen...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, February 26, 2010

I'm Going To Get Replaced On The Olympics Team

...by Jingalls, if this proposal goes through.

Pole dancing could be recognized as a sport and headed to the Olympics


No, seriously.



A group of pole-dance advocates is hoping for a "test" event in 2012 and a more formal pitch four years after that, in Rio de Janeiro, according to The Associated Press.

"It’s just a matter of time before pole dancing gets Olympic recognition," says Ania Przeplasko of Hong Kong, founder of the International Pole Dancing Fitness Association.

"There will be a day when the Olympics see pole dancing as a sport," she told The Associated Press. "The Olympic community needs to acknowledge the number of people doing pole fitness now. We’re shooting for 2012."

Some dancers aren’t so sure about pole dancing at the Olympics because they worry that the sensual aspect of the discipline would be destroyed, and that old-school pole dancers might be pushed aside by gymnasts, circus performers and Chinese acrobats who could easily pick up the moves.

Wow...
If this happens I doubt we'll have problems trying to fill out our staff roster for the 2012 Games in London.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Breaking News!!

This just in!....

On Day 20 of full operations we have finally achieved
the impossible.

Dinner at the IBC is actually edible and has flavor.

Film at 11.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Day Fourteen, Getting Punchy @ the IBC

We're getting a little stir crazy here in the bowels of the IBC...

We're watching the start of Women's Figure Skating (Free Skate) and I trot out the old jokes, which are bound to offend anyone walking by The Lair.

You remember those jokes from the '94 Olympics:

Tonia Harding's new restaurant - Club Nancy

The KFC Kerrigan Combo - Two small breasts and a bruised thigh.

Harding's new sponsorship deal - for Lucky Strike cigarettes.

Tonya's phone number 1-800-#*#-*###



BiV is also chastising me as we watch the skaters...
"You're going to get banned from watching them, just like you did when you were watching women's gymnastics back in Beijing."

Yeah- I'm going to hell... The one reserved for pervs who watch the Olympics for the figure skaters & gymnasts, and for people who talk at the theater.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Perceptions of Sarah

Teh News runs a picture in the paper...

Sarah Palin

Actual picture

What Slaw sees:


What T-Rav sees:


Slaw- Ease up on the red meat...
TRav- Knock off the estrogen shots.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

From our WTF department...


Sex Spider killed in Dutch supermarket


A toxic spider crawled out of a bunch of bananas at the jumbo hypermarket in the Netherlands. This species of banana spider has poison that causes infernal pains and paralysis phenomena. Men bitten by the Phoneutria nigriventer experienced long and painful erections which can lead to impotence.
Banana Spiders. Heh.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Fashion Statement


You might want to rethink your prom dress selection.
It's sending the wrong message.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Well, Since The US Was Eliminated From Curling...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Reading Assignment: Climate Change Hoaxes

All you Warmies/ ACC apostles need to start keeping up with the news...
The science is NOT settled.
And just like my comment about the Vancouver Olympic doom-shouters, nothing sells newspapers (or gets hits on your site) like an alarmist headline... In this case, nothing gets more grant money shoveled down the shitter than a "Esteemed Scientist" shouting "ZOMG! TEH ICE IS ALL MELTING! THERE'LL BE NONE FOR THE CONGRESSMAN'S MARTINI!!!1!"

No one with two brain cells to rub together (except a few Hooters waitresses) denies that things they are a'changin'... the question is how much we are actually causing it, and how enacting draconian laws and stupid regulations and levying taxes to fund it all is going to change it.

All in the name of Green-ness?
No, all in the name of control, power and money...

Climategate U-turn as scientist at centre of row admits: There has been no global warming since 1995

Climate scientists admit fresh error over data on rising sea levels

Climate scientists hit out at 'sloppy' melting glaciers error

I'm a sceptic now, says ex-NASA climate boss

Climate panel: Time for a refit?

Climate Scientists Withdraw Rising Sea Level Claim

World may not be warming, say scientists



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Just Had to Share This One...

Discussing St.Ass butchering Bode Miller's name...

St. Ass: "Look...Bode Miller is winning ze gold medal."
BiV: "It's Bode. 'Boe-dee'"
TBG: "He has the troubles with the non-silent E."
Biv: "In Soviet Russia, the E silences you."

Classic...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, February 19, 2010

IRM = FOA

In computer scoring of many different events, they have what is referred to as an IRM, or an Invalid Result Mark. (See why they abbreviate it?)

IRMs are TLAs like DNS (did not start), DNF (did not finish), DSQ Disqualified, and so on.
We have an unofficial IRM here in the IDS Lair, used as we watch the feeds from Alpine, Long track, Short track, Snowboard... Hell, pretty much everything including Curling...
FOA.
Falls On Ass

My favorite are the folks from Figs in the Pacific Coliseum...

My man Pete once told me the basis of all comedy is someone else's misfortune.
So true. So very true.


Impact in 3... 2... 1...


That's a good way to break a wrist, there, Spooky.


Ooooh, this is gonna leave a mark...


...But the hair... The hair still looks good.


It's okay, this is part of the routine.


Man, these sequins are digging into my ass...


Hey- Farmer Ted... Keep the skates on the ice.


Alright, maybe this one should be FOF- Falls on Face.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Super Secret Starbucks Spot



I have mentioned the Super Secret Starbucks Spot in a previous message before...

It's kind of like Beijing, if you remember that story...
Don't get too creative.
It's just a machine with buttons...

The Code Monkeys in line to get a latte...

Cappuccino, Latte.
Single or double.
Perhaps a squeeze of Vanilla is as fancy as it gets here.

Alas...

...it's not so secret any more.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Objectivity Lesson - Vancouver

Olympic-Sized Problems

Let me list them for you...

Huge cost overruns going into the Games.


Warm temperatures which prompted a round-the-clock operation to bring in snow from higher elevations to make Cypress Mountain ready for Freestyle and Snowboard competition.

Tragedy at the Luge practice run on the eve of the opening ceremony.

At the opening ceremony one of the four pillars that support the central flame failed to rise out of the floor, leaving Catriona Le May Doan with nothing to light.

The International Press and French Canadians get irritated that not enough French was spoken during the Opening Ceremonies.

Heavy snowfall/fog/rain at Whistler that forced disruptions to alpine skiing events.

Injuries plaguing the competitors.

Protesters rioting
downtown and breaking windows at the Official Olympic store.


The location of the Olympic flame in downtown Vancouver is behind a wire fence.


The problem of the buses:
Several dozen drivers quitting complaining about the long hours and poor working conditions.
Buses are breaking down.
Bus drivers getting lost.
(Bus Bus, Sea Bus)

Organizers were forced into an embarrassing cancellation of 28,000+ tickets for events at Cypress over safety fears with rain washing away snow that made the general admission standing room spectator area unsafe.

A veritable downpour during the Women's Mogul competition.


Zamboni Olympia "Super Green" Electric Ice Resurfacing Machines unable to perform their jobs. Replacement "Zamboni" brought in. (Shhhh!)

Protests at the biathlon on Tuesday over timing errors.

Protests and delays at Long Track over malfunctioning starting equipment, and scoring systems that made a timely race restart impossible.


But the local Fishwrapper makes a good point...

"No point in circling the wagons and pretending otherwise, of pointing to every bus that arrives on time, every security checkpoint that works flawlessly, every smiling, polite volunteer," comments Globe and Mail.

G&M is correct: Quite a bit has gone right.

Just look at the smile and tears on Lindsey Vonn's face, or Maelle Ricker after her win at Snowboard Cross.
 
And the two Russian winning gold and silver at the Cross Country today.
Or, or Shaun White's amazing performance; No matter your opinion of the Ramp Monkeys- he's still pretty good, eh?...

And after all the horror stories about the Sahara-like heat and the snow convoy & helicopter airlift canceling out any Carbon Footprint credits that might have been garnered at the 2010 games- the actual competitions at Cypress have been fantastic.
(Which is more important: that those with enough luck, prior planning or disposable income got screwed out of standing-room-only tickets, or that the competition occurred, and the athletes performed at the best of their ability?)

It's been rough here in Vancouver... Not for me, of course, except for the dismal dining at the IBC and the high price of rum, but rather for the image of the Games overall...

But then- I can remember page after page of complaints about Athens, Torino and Beijing too...
Happy spectators and perfect conditions don't sell papers, or bring in viewers to the news broadcasts...
Only tragedy and controversy are news.
"If it bleeds, it leads" is the old adage, and Vancouver 2010 has been hemorrhaging.

Enjoy the Games, if you can. It's about the competitors and performances,
not politics, not woulda-coulda-shoulda.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Overheard at the IBC

...during Men's figure skating, in one of the control suites along the corridor:

"I think that guy's gay."


Ah... I see Captain Obvious is in the building...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Subtropical?

I don't think that means what you think it means...

Team finds subtropical waters flushing through Greenland fjord


I have a couple issues with this (IMHO) alarmist piece...
Deep inside the Sermilik Fjord, researchers found subtropical water as warm as 39 degrees Fahrenheit (4 degrees Celsius).
39 degrees is NOT subtropical.
And it's "...UP TO 39 Degrees"???
Ninja, please.

From our "talking-out-both-sides-of-your-mouth" department-
"This is the first time we've seen waters this warm in any of the fjords in Greenland," says Straneo.

But then:
"This is the first extensive survey of one of these fjords that shows us how these warm waters circulate and how vigorous the circulation is," says Straneo.
So... You're saying this is the first time you've ever seen anything here... so you don't have anything to compare to.

And...

"The team also reconstructed seasonal temperatures on the shelf using data collected by 19 hooded seals ..."
WTF?

Ok... I'm no longer paying any attention to computer models, reconstructions, simulations, artificial intelligence, predictive technology, computer-aided testing or anything else remotely resembling scientific wild-ass guesses...
This is the "science" that gave us acid rain (complete bullshit), nuclear winter (complete bullshit), the greenhouse effect (complete bullshit) and the doom-shouters that stated with all confidence that when Saddam Hussein torched the Kuwaiti oil fields that the clouds would darken the skies world-wide "Look- we have graphs and simulations to prove it!" (even more complete bullshit).


What this all it boils down to is in the last sentence...
"We need more continuous observations to fully understand how they work, and to be able to better predict sea-level rise in the future," says Straneo.
Which translated from Glowbull Warmening Alarmist Speak means:
"I need my government grant money renewed to I can fuck off in the fjords for another year and not have to worry about getting a real job. At least not until the next round of funding runs out."

All the computer-science propeller-heads need to get out of the Complete Fucking Bullshit Climate Science Labs and go down to the basement where the gamers are writing their newest rendering engines and get into writing computer games...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

A Question for Blogspot Bloggers

Skunk, Travis, some of you gunbloggers too...

Have you checked your uploaded images?

Some of mine are missing-
I'll bet your are too...

As far as I can tell, it looks like if you use the upload button
on the editor screen or do a mobile photo post, the pic winds up
in a Picasa web album.
At some point after you publish, the URL for the picture changes...

Anyone got any guidance regarding this?

The Help Forums for Blogger/Picasa is rather vague on this...
Hoping some of y'all can help, or avoid having the same issue I'm having.

HBO, baby.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, February 15, 2010

Delays at the ROO.



We've been amused by issues at the Richmond Olympic Oval.
They have 3 Olympia Resurfacers... and they are destroying the ice.
(IOC official to NBC Talking Head Dan Jantzen: "It's NOT a Zamboni! Quit calling it that.")
VANCOUVER, Feb 15 (Reuters) - A mechanical problem with the ice resurfacing machine delayed Olympic speed skating action for the second day in a row causing more than an hour-long interruption in Monday’s men’s 500 metres race.
The battery-powered Olympia Ice Resurfacer broke down while preparing the ice for the second half of the opening heat of the men’s 500.
Battery powered! Well, there's yer problem...

I can just see Slim Pikins looking up from under the hood of the thing saying
"Someone's gonna hafta ride back to town for a shitload of D-Cells."

Greenest Orimpics Evar, Baby...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Things Not to Do

Necessity might be the mother of invention, but Captain Morgan is not it's father.

No matter how bad you need it, you cannot cook bacon on a hotel coffeemaker heating element.

I'm just sayin'...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Traveling Music

From IBC to Rosie's, 7 or so blocks, dodging drunks and cops.
Listening to:
No Rest for the Wicked - Cage the Elephant
Crime of the Century - Supertramp
I'm Just a Singer in a Rock and Roll Band - Moody Blues
DixieChicken - Little Feat


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Items Cluttering Up My Mind

I'm working in Vancouver... (and at this point we'll use the term "working" loosely.)
My tasks here are all during startup and breakdown...
If I do my job right, and the hardware doesn't break and no one gets sick, my days are pretty non-eventful.
(If I'm busy, something's wrong.)

So here we are at Day 3 of the Events, but my 24th day away from home...
and I still have more than two weeks to go.

As I sit with fingers crossed, hoping for good health for the crew, and for good fortune with our equipment, I watch the feeds of data as they come into our homey little lair.
And as I watch the events unfold and hope for the best, I have other things on my mind...
The NBA All Star game in Dallas for instance...Normally I'd be there, riding herd on the GameStats system and the the broadcasters. This year I had to send a proxy.
Blee is on-site in Dallas, and thing are going well I hear... Good to hear. One less worry.

The thing that really had me preoccupied was a roadtrip that started on Friday, and will end on Monday evening.
The Perfect Child is pushing the boundaries of her know world.
Having been bitten by the Snowboard bug (which I further enabled by getting her a second-hand board back in December here in Vancouver) she wanted to make one last trip to shred the slopes this year...
It wasn't enough to ski for 3 days here in Canada in December, or the trip to West Virgina with the kids from her church group...
She put together plans to go up to Wolf Laurel NC.
A little 500 mile jaunt for President's Day Weekend...
Her uncle (The Woman Who Knows Most Things' brother) lives in Greenville SC, pretty close to Wolf Laurel, so the plan was to go there and stay with Uncle & Family, hang out with the family Saturday and ski on Sunday, and come home Monday.
The reason for my concern?
It was just The Perfect Child (16 years old) and her partner-in-crime Brittany (17) driving up there alone.

Now TWWKMT and I discussed this plan at length... The PCs driving skills, abilities, decision making ability, common sense, etc. We decided it was time to give her a little room and autonomy and let them make the trip.
In my estimation, you have to give them some room to grow every now and then. The question is how much? How far? And are they ready to make good decisions? Can they evaluate a situation and make the right call when the situation calls for it.
The PC and I had a couple phone discussions concerning self-preservation procedures, and how to make the right call in a bad situation. She told her Mom that I had lectured her, but it really wasn't that at all...
At least I didn't recall it that way.
Avoid unpatrolled rest areas, be wary of strangers who ask for help... At best, call 911 on your phone, but don't give your phone to someone to use. All manner of advice to keep her from putting herself and her traveling companion at risk...

So Friday after school they took off to Greenville.

Looking at the weather I was very concerned... But canceling her trip due to a little snow or inclement weather seemed somewhat self-defeating. It would be a very disheartening no-confidence vote...
Besides- If you never try, you'll never know if you can do it.
They hit snow just the other side of Columbia SC, and made it into Greenville at 11:30pm.
It took them 8 hours to make a trip that usually takes me between 6 and 7 hours.
Not bad for a 16 year old from Florida who was on unknown roads and driving in the snow.
They made one stop for food and took it very easy once the weather turned sour...
I was on pins and needles until I heard they were safe...
Now I'll be OK until tomorrow afternoon, when I hear they are back on the road.
Then I'll be watching my monitors, not seeing the picture, but wondering how they are doing.
Until they get home again...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Talking Heads = No Brains

 The Czar is on the money here...

"...By underscoring Canadian stereotypes for five minutes, NBC convinced Canadians that every stereotype about Americans is painfully true."


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

PS- If you're not reading The Gormogons, WTF is wrong with you?

Vancouver Quiz

Given the pseudo-legality of Cannabis Sativa in Vancouver, I thought a little brain teaser might entertain you little cretins angels for a few minutes...

So, put on your smoking jackets and play...

Wait for it...

Marijuana or Roller Coaster
-(or both)-


1. Tennessee Twister
2. Déjà vu
3. Cincinnati Cyclone
4. Afterburn
5. Pineapple Express
6. California Screaming
7. Brain Teaser
8. Blazing Fury
9. Flashback
10. Humbolt Scorcher
11. Great White
12. Hypersonic XLC
13. Hyperponic XLC
14. Invertigo
15. Woodstock's Express
16. Bug Out

Answers after the fold...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Winter Oly 2018 News Update...

I hope this is real and he's not just toying with my psyche...
..."After watching the Opening Ceremonies from Vancouver and reading accounts in the media of conditions at the ski venues at Cypress & Whistler" stated Hanenmann, "we realized that having an actual winter has ceased to be a requirement for hosting the Olympic Winter Games. Therefore we decided that now is the time for the State of Hawai'i, including the City of Honolulu and it's neighbor islands, to throw our hats into the ring to serve as host."...
From the illustrious Mighty Skunk...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Whizzler Webcam


Hijacked webcam feed from the top of Whizzler Mtn.
(1 minute refresh)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This just in... Problems at ROO

[2:47:25 PM] SGK says: We have a leak.
[2:47:33 PM] TBG says: ???
[2:48:08 PM] SGK says: Sewage
[2:48:16 PM] TBG says: In the trailer?
[2:49:07 PM] SGK says: Restrooms, leaking in the lot, working it's way to the trailer
[2:49:16 PM] TBG says: A Shitcano. Nice.
[2:49:43 PM] TBG says: Like a volcano, only different.
[2:49:44 PM] SGK says: yea and, response is, well hey the rain will wash it away
[2:50:55 PM] TBG says: It really is The Poo now...

Bwahahah...
I kill me.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Vancouver WX


We're screwed.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

That's a New One...

Walking home through the unwashed masses of vomiting Canadians last night I heard a new descriptive...

Two guys were walking behind me and I over heard their conversation concerning their next port of call on Opening Night...

Guy One: "Hey- how about we go to The Lennox?"
Guy Two: "No man...We're going to Ceili's."
G1: "Why not Lennox? It's closer."
G2: "That place is a post office.
G1: "What does that mean?"
G2: "Nothing good. Just a lotta male and packages."

Nice.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, February 12, 2010

More WAP Names


Evil Penguin, Seen You Naked and Zohrek the Inhospitable.


Get Off My Lawn....

Nice.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tragedy at WSC

21-year-old Georgian Nodar Kumaritashvili passed away from injuries during a crash on the luge track today...

There have been several other injuries there in the last few days...
Gold medal favorite Armin Zoeggeler of Italy was among those who wiped out, along with a Romanian woman who was knocked unconscious, along with four American athletes.

They have suspended training/practice until the organizers can implement changes to "ensure a safe field of play."

Update:
Not to be morbid, but video of the crash is available here, until the IOC yanks it.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE