Saturday, March 12, 2011

Current Events: World-Class Leadership by the White House

In the News:
Egyptians overthrow their dictatorial president and begin to tip toward Iran-style theocracy.

White House response:
The President suggests light rail and green jobs could help the economy.

In the News:
The economy shows serious and significant signs of backsliding.

White House response:
The President resolves that Motown is some of the coolest music ever.

In the News:
Investigations reveal that over 1,000 exceptions to government healthcare have been granted to connected groups, and that the original budget numbers were cooked to hide significant taxpayer losses.

White House response:
The President firmly suggests that a couple dozen state senators from Wisconsin are destroying unions, and that he is resolutely committed to fighting back, maybe, if he has time.

In the News:
The government is poised for a shutdown, as there is no operating budget and no hope of bipartisan cooperation on developing one without presidential leadership.

White House response:
The President thinks that maybe traditional marriage isn't as important as he used to think.

In the News:
Libyan rebels are losing ground fast to federal forces. Civilian death toll rises.

White House response:
The President issues a stern warning about kids bullying kids.

In the News:
Gas prices are skyrocketing due to self-inflicted inflationary pressures and a drilling moratorium.

White House response:
The President points out that as the father of two girls, he wants to see the government address gender-based pay differences in the private sector.

In the News:
Yemen is a powderkeg, Japan is on the brink of nuclear emergency, and the government is still poised for a shutdown.

White House Agenda:
9:00AM - 9:01AM
Global Security Assessment

9:02AM - 5:30pm
March Madness bracket picks.
(Be sure to pander to swing states, special interests)

5:31PM - 10:30PM
Planning Session: Sunday Golf
Which union leaders to be included in playing group?

(Content stolen and adapted from The Gormogons
I expect to hear the Czar's jackbooted thugs at my door any moment now. There is an excellent chance that this will be my last post and I will shortly be spirited off to a gulag 1200km northeast of Yakutsk.)



Irish said...

That is such an EXCELLENT post.
Thanks for your keen insight.

The Big Guy said...

Thank you sir, but I have to give credit where it is due-
Read the Gormogons...
The Czar, Mandarin, 'Puter et al are da Bomb...

I just reposted it because I, like you, really appreciated the tone and timbre of the original post...

But thanks for the kind words and for being a Constant Reader!


Irish said...

TBG you're welcome, I will check out the Gormogons :)

Its amazing finding all the talent that is on the blogs. Somedays I wish I had gotten a minor in english so that I could post my thoughts as eloquently as others do.

I also enjoy finding like minded people. I will read or see a news story and then go to the blogs, to find out that someone has posted a great rant that sounds just like me.

Keep up the good work!!

Regards, PISSED :)

The Czar of Muscovy said...

The Czar is much too fond of The Big Guy to send jackbooted thugs to his door. But theft is theft, and so to teach you a lesson, we pulled some skinny-jeans Bieber lookalike off his sk8board, yanked off his ear buds, smacked his cocked yellow painters cap off his head and shoved him into the bushes.

Not sure if you've learned your lesson, so we are prepared to do it again.

The Czar of Muscovy said...

Also, PISSED: don't waste your time with a minor in English.

Do what I did. I majored in it.