Thursday, January 31, 2008

Driving my Life Away & The Number of the Beast

Last week was interesting...

I rented a car from Avis, a nice Chrysler 300- very comfy, and drove the following:

Jacksonville Beach to Ft. Lauderdale. Around 330 Miles.

Later that night I drove back to Jacksonville Beach...
Again, 330 Miles.

The next day I drove to Atlanta... Stopping, of course, at Hooters in Macon for lunch.

Another 300 Miles

I did some time in the barrel at the NHL All Star Game...
Fun fun fun.

After that I was off to look at some wiring in New Orleans...
I departed Atlanta on Monday morning at 4:30am... it was 26 degrees.

471 miles later I was poking my nose about in a dust-filled TV truck bay.

I spent some quality time with David Munoz and the boys from the NBA...
A good time was had by all, including the topless girl riding the mechanical bull.
(Drinking wood alcohol will do that to ya...)

On Tuesday I was back behind the wheel heading down I-10 towards Jax Beach.
A quick stop at Calico Jacks in Tallahassee for their Oyster happy hour-
$5.40 a dozen for awesome Apalachicola bivalves. I had 2 dozen and left with a big smile on my face and the cruise control set for 78.
(As the Highway Patrol says: "At 8 you skate, at 9 you're mine.")

563 miles later I was back at my humble abode none the worse for the drive...

As I dropped off the rental car I had words for the Avis rep as he looked at the mileage total...2500 miles.

"Hey man... Better change the oil in that thing."

While in the Philips Arena we were testing the clocks...
I asked JR to put some random time on the clock and let it sit.
The clock will send the same time packet over and over. A random time will tell me that the data is getting to the clock hardware.
Zeros (0:00) don't work since some software use zero as their default, no-data display.

JR, in his infinite wisdom, chose the unfortunate time of 6:66.
Thus, displayed around the arena on about 100 different displays, was the Number of the Beast.
(JR isn't 100% familiar with the concept, he just knows it's a number that makes some subset of quasi-religious people a mite jumpy.)
That might be okay in Boston, and there is definitely no problem with doing that in New Yawk City... But in Atlanta...?
Yeah. Not a good idea.
In the infamous words of Jeremy the Park Ranger- "We've had some complaints."
It was quickly changed to 6:50- thus quelling the cries of protest from the ultra-religious residents of Atlanta.

Now then... The whole episode got me thinking as I was on the highway. During the long periods of driving the last few days I made a list.
(Gotta love the Voice Memo feature on the Crackberry...)

For your personal edification, here's the Numbers of the Beast

(Learn 'em, memorize 'em, collect 'em, trade 'em with your friends.)

666 - Biblical Number of the Beast

Approximate Number of the Beast (Rounding up)

Roman Numeral of the Beast

Number of the Beast's Older Brother

Number of the Beast's Younger Sister

Number of the Beast's Neighbor

Number of the Australian Beast

Number of the Semi-Beast

Number of the Downsized Beast

6, uh..., I forget
Number of the Blond Beast

Number of the High Precision Beast

Number of the Beast on an Original Fucked-up Floating Point Pentium

Number of the Millibeast

X / 666
Beast Common Denominator (Demon-inator?)

Reciprocal of the Beast

Opposite of the Beast

Imaginary Number of the Beast

6.66 x 102
Scientific Notation of the Beast

Square Root of the Beast

Square of the Beast

Binary Number of the Beast

Octal of the Beast

Hexidecimal of the Beast (Hex. Heh.)

Log of the Beast

Ln of the Beast

1.738 x 10289
Anti-Log of the Beast

Zip Code of the Beast
E-mail Address of the Beast
Website of the Beast

Phone & FAX Number of the Beast

Toll Free Number of the Beast

Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts!
Only $6.66 per minute! [Must be over 18!]

Social Security Number of the Beast

Form 10666
Special IRS Tax Forms for the Beast

Tax Rate of the Beast

6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell
($666 minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)

Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer

Retail Price of the Beast

Price of the Beast plus 6.66% Sales Tax

Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul

Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)

Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments

Phillips 666
Gasoline Used by the Beast (regular $6.66/gal)

Route 666
Highway of the Beast (where he gets his kicks!)

666 mph
Speed Limit on the Beast's Highway

Fertilizer of the Beast

666 lb cap
Weight Limit of the Beast

666 Minutes
Weekly News Show about the Beast (airs daily from
Midnight to 11:06 a.m., on Cable Channel 666, of course)

666 F
Oven Temperature for Cooking "Roast Beast"

Retirement Plan of the Beast

666 mg
Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast

Lotus 6-6-6
Spreadsheet of the Beast

Word 6.66
Word Processor of the Beast

Windows 666
Bill Gates' Personal Beast Operating System

Font Color of the Beast

CPU of the Beast

BMW of the Beast

IAM 666
License Plate Number of the Beast

Formula 666
All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast

Spray Lubricant of the Beast

DSM-666 (rev)
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast

66.6 MHz
FM Radio Station of the Beast

666 KHz
AM Radio Station of the Beast

66 for 6
A Beastly Score for an Innings (in cricket)

6 for 66
Bowling Figures of the Beast

Birthday of the Beast (but in which century?)

TBG, tired of sixes, out-


Luc said...

And *I* have too much time on my hands????

Mark said...

Finally finished my total count of laptops going to A Nice Golf Course this year.....


If I had known it was going to be that kind of party.....