Awwww...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Bikers Beware- Sphincter-clenching moment ahead.

Yikes that was close!


If'n that was me I'da had to go change my drawers, then go buy a lottery ticket.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

If You Want Reasoned Discourse...

Just a quick note-
I had lunch today with Mr. WhyDoesAnyoneNeeda and Mr. IfItSavesOnlyOneChild...
(I should get a friggin' Oscar from my performance as "Ogre Not Dismembering Clueless Progressives That Soooo Desperately Deserve It")


I need to write up some ground rules for lunchtime conversation in order to keep my sanity...


1. Do your homework. (a/k/a You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.)
When you use "semi-auto rifle" and "machine gun" or "magazine" and "clip" interchangeably, your level of credibility drops considerably. Also- when you ask if my guns are "registered", you are showing your ignorance in extremis.


2. Using buzzwords will get you filed under M for "Misguided and Misled".
When you start using all the current Obama Administration-approved nomenclature like "Military-Style Assault Rifle", "High Capacity Clips" and "Cop Killer Bullets", well, it just indicates to my that you don't want to have a discussion, you just want to lecture me on your position.


3. Know Your Stats, and their background.
For instance: 40% of gun transactions are unregulated? Really?
That "40%" figure is one of the best examples of cherry-picking statistics. Read some of the facts here.

4. Don't discuss Gun Show Loopholes, and Internet Gun Purchases unless you have first-hand experience.
Because when you tell me about thousands of people people buying guns on the Internet and how it circumvents background checks, I will laugh in your face. And if you tell me you can go down to the gunshow and buy a machine gun, it will be doubly amusing and chortle-worthy.


5. Name Calling (gun nuts, right wing wackos, bitter clingers, Dirty Harry wannabes with a tiny penii) will require me to end the discussion and depart the premises before finishing tiffin. (And I just hate not finishing my tiffin.) It just shows you are unwilling to discuss things rationally and are just one step from going Godwin on me... At that point I will start feeling embarassed that I even know you.

 6. On the "If it only saves one child it will be worth it..." topic...
Why aren't you crusading against drunk drivers, bee stings, child abuse & neglect, swimming pool accidents etc. ad infinitum ...
(Actually I know the answer to that...
Once you have my my icky guns, then you'll come for my booze, swimming pool and my apiary...)


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

More Maddie

I posted a pic of Maddie the Coon Hound awhile back...
I was perusing her website this AM. Her owner Theron Humphrey (assuming he's her owner...) has such a great eye for composition.
That, and a wicked sense of humor...


Yo. 'Sup, dog?




Of course, she's right cute even without props or standing on things...

Humphrey's book "Maddie On Things" is available for pre-order...
at Amazon, or better yet- pre-order at you local indie bookseller...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Bitch, Prease.

(Edit: Everywhere except Vancouver.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Voices In My Head

I just returned from doing a little end-user support...




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Road Warriors Understand

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Don't Judge Me...

... I, however, will be judging you.


Like- when I come to help you with a problem on your PC, and you have the Ask toolbar installed...

Boy, you are soooo getting put in my "WTF is wrong with this moron?" file...



(It's just revenge for how I get labeled at the range when Fanbois see my Taurus PT92F on the bench...)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

No One Needs a 30-Round Mag to Hunt?

Really?

I guess you've never gone hunting here in North Florida...



If I go out in the woods here, I'd take my AR with 5 or 6 mags, a flamethrower, and mallet & some stakes, and a gallon of Holy Water.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome to Blue Monday

...Which has as much scientific basis & truth behind it as statements like "less guns=less crime" and "we have to pass the bill to see what's in it"...

So- Blue Monday
Feel like crap today?
Here's why:
Cliff Arnall (the phlogiston scientist that came up with this crap) says the date was calculated by using many factors, including: weather conditions, debt level (the difference between debt accumulated and our ability to pay), time since Christmas, time since failing our new year’s resolutions, low motivational levels and feeling of a need to take action.


This date allegedly falls on the Monday of the last full week of January. The date was first declared to be 24 January in 2005.
In 2011 there was confusion about the correct date; some claimed it to be 17 January 2011 while others stated Blue Monday was on 24 January 2011. In 2012, the most depressing day of the year was said to be 23 January.

Calculation
(in case you want to waste your valuable time thinking about this...)

According to a press release by a mental health charity, the formula is:

where W=weather
d=debt,
T=time since Christmas,
Q=time since failing our new year’s resolutions,
M=low motivational levels
and N_a = the feeling of a need to take action
'D' is not defined in the release, nor are units.
(Personally I think D=the current level of Dumbassery in the current administration, contributing to the overall malaise in the country - TBG)

Writing about the calculation, Ben Goldacre stated: ... the fact is that Cliff Arnall's equations ... fail even to make mathematical sense on their own terms.

Really Ben, y'think?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Again With The "Want" vs. "Need" Argument?

Got into it (again) today...
I've gotta quit arguing with these idiots.


Ok..Let's start at the top...
It's called the Bill of Rights, not the 'Bill of Needs' or 'Bill of Wants'.

Ok, Mr. Progressive Moron, what do you drive? What part of town do you live in?
And dig out your cell phone...

Why could anyone possibly want...



When all you need is:



I mean really- I can even get you a sporty one...

 

Why would you possibly want one of these:


All you really need is one of these, right?

It just stupid to have one of these:

When all your really need is one like this:


Really? You need this?

All you really need is this:


Don't be stupid- this is overkill:


This should be more than adequate:


You people are going to have to learn to quit f@$%ing with me about this...
I'll beat you over the head with your own arguments.

Morons.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

ToDo List

"Either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing about."
- Ben Franklin

Seems like a good idea...

TBG

And The Hits Keep Coming...

And my Houston / Jax flight is delayed...
Motherf-ers...

How To Piss Off the TSA

Travel hour 19, 10:01am PST
LAX Airport.

Going through security after clearing customs... I get turned down to go through TSA PreCheck, so I'm back with the idiots that don't know you have to empty your pockets and take off your shoes. Morons.

But I'm more pissed at the TSA...
Sooo... In for a dime, in for a dollar.

I put my bag and skateboard on the XRay belt, along with the bin with shoes, belt and pocket goodies.
I announce (loudly):
"My iPad is in the back pocket of my bag... Just so you TSA iPad thieves know where it is...save you some time."
The three TSOs working that lane shot me some dirty looks, and after I pass the metal detector, a supervisor waddled over...
"Sir, there is no need for that kind of talk. Why would you want to do that?"

"Ma'am, how many terrorists have been caught by the TSA? And how many TSA agents have been arrested for stealing passenger's items?"

"But sir, that is just a tiny number of bad agents...most of us are honest hard-working people. Why do you want to treat us all...like...criminals..?"
My point was sinking in, but I wanted to make sure...

"Exactly. You treat us like everyone is a terrorist, I'll treat you all like thieves. I think the odds of me being correct is much higher than yours."

She opened her mouth to refute me, but thought better of it.

8 more hours to go... Next stop Houston.

TBG

Living My Life Like a Song - Sydney Edition

Oscar Wilde died in bed
Several floors above my head
Living well beyond his means
In that crazy Paris scene
Rain falls down in sheets so clear
And no one ever calls me here
Travelin' by myself these days
I'm into jazz and felt berets
Far from that old Eastern shore
Searchin' for strange metaphors
         - Quietly Making Noise - Jimmy Buffett

Jimmy was talking about Paris...
I'm about as far from the Eastern Shore as one can get.

This has been my first extended trip to Sydney, and my second to Australia in general. And I've learned a few things...

People drive on the wrong side of the road over here.
On purpose.

People are waaaay too friendly.

The species of crow that live here have the most disconcerting and unsettling calls.

The subway system here sucks out loud.

It's against the law to kill possums, even if they try to pee on your server.
(Seriously - you can't even trap them... you have to call Peter the Possum Man)

If you get in a taxi here, it will cost you $30 to get out, no matter how short the trip.

Macdonald's Australia (Maccas) has a regional item- the Lamb Burger, and it is downright awful.

It takes an act of Ghod to get a root beer around here.
(You can get a good sarsaparilla though...)

"Convenience Stores" should be called "300% Markup over MSRP Stores".

Kangaroo steak... Not as good as I thought it was going to be.

No sign of Kylie or Olivia...or Naomi, or Nicole. Damn.

From the "I don't think that means what you think it means" file:
In the "International" Food Court at Sydney Tennis Center you will find the following-
Burger Hut (Horrible Burgers & Fries)
Sausage Stand (Truly disgusting Sausage and Fries)
Fish Grease and Chips Grease (Guess what they have.)
Pizza (cardboard with red sauce and mystery nuggets)
Mexican (Really awful burritos)
Thai Food Place (Pad Thai. And only Pad Thai. But the most tasty item on site )
Gozleme (Tasty- but don't ask too many questions about the filling.)

Toxic Waste Trivia:
The Sydney Olympic Grounds were once stockyards and a huge abattoir.
All the runoff from the stockyards, the offal and processing chemicals and generally a ton of other bad shit flowed down the hill and wound up in the creek that is the boundary of the Tennis Grounds.
The three guys that waded the creek to sneak into the site were thrown out and it was strongly suggested that they go directly to a emergency room...


As much fun as this has been, this gig has drawn to a close... Hitting the big silver bird tomorrow.

The fact that I'm heading home will make the 24 hours in a coach class seat somewhat bearable...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Canine Neurosis

I wonder if the Dark Menace would act like this...
Time for research!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Civil Servant? Child, Please. Civil Master.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Raaaaaacist!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Uh... I Have Mixed Emotion On This...

On one hand, I'm really impressed with the response.
Well done Mr. Shawcross.

Official White House Response to Secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016:

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Great googly moogly... There's even better stuff in the body of the response...

The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc.
...
Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Really? C3PO?

Wow.
And the last line-

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

I wonder if Lucas/Disney will tag them for copyright violations?

On the other hand...
Why don't y'all work on a witty response to coming up with a budget or doing something about runaway entitlement programs...




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This is why I only drink Rum.

One 'benefit' of working this tournament is the family environment the pervades the tournament operations staff...
This feeling is engendered by a sit-down meal every night of the tournament...
One of the Ops Staff will be appointed Grillmaster and will light up the BBQ and have a go at burning some snausages and chook (Not sure what 'chook' is... Possibly the brushtailed possum that pissed in the server room as far as I know.). A sixpack or two will materialize from nowhere and a feeling of ease and general good-nature fills the dining tent at Event Ops.

They always press me to have a 'beeah', which I always decline. I'm not a beeah guy.
"Rum is my poison of choice." I tell them, preferring a lemon beverage called Solo as my dinner quaff.

Not last night though... They weren't letting me off so easy.

The Tournament mannger produced a Jeroboam covered with spiderwebs and the dust of half a century.
"You're havin' some wine tonite, mate." He said- fixing me with a withering gaze from his good eye.

A huge unlabeled bottle... That always means trouble...
It was an unusual broken-glass-and-fishhooks kind of wine that had the distinctive bouquet of horseshit and old abattoir sweepings. They said it was best drunk with clenched teeth to prevent the ingestion of any foreign (or domestic) bodies.

I listened as one of the Old Hands waxed rhapsodic about the vintage...

"Connoisseurs will savor the slight tannin taste of old tea leaves and burnt ibis feathers...Possessors of a cultivated palate will admire the initial assault on the taste buds which comes from the careful and loving blending animal manure and shredded automobile tires, strained through a rugby player's soiled jock strap. The wine is matured in pigs bladders to give it a definite and distinctive nose."

I'm given to understand it will be marketed under the 'King of the Jews' brand, as people who drink it for the first time exclaim "Jeeesus Chroist!"

I suggest consumers avoid bringing this wine in contact with eyes and open cuts.
Keep it away from naked flames (both old and new).

Word has it that the first pressings of this wine were awarded the Bronze at the "Kings Cross Transvestites Convention" of 1959...

I manged to pour most of mine into a potted plant near the table, which immediately shriveled to a withered husk then spontaneously combusted.
Shane, one of the Aussies from Accreditations saw me casting about to dispose of my second un-asked-for glass and indicated with a nod and wink that I pour my glass into his...
He did this with several other individuals who were trying to avoid a trip to the local hospital for a stomach pump and dose of antibiotics later in the evening. Most everyone took him up on his effort to "take one for the team", to avoid hurting the feelings of the Octogenarian woman who gave us the bottle...
The last time I saw him he was boarding the subway in Olympic Park headed for Lidcombe, wearing only a pair of pistachio-colored Uggs, Agnieszka Radwanska‘s tennis skirt, and a dog collar.

One tournament day to go, then break down.
I can see that light at the end of the tunnel...

Doubtful Logistics

Hm.
So I'd have to wonder.
On the off chance the Gummint decides to register all the firearms,
Let me check a second... there is on the order of 300 million firearms out there.


Do they really have a chance of makeing sense and order out of a database that big?

After all, they think that it is an impossible task to register and deal with (only) 15 million illegal aliens...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Connecting The Dots Dipshits

Want to exercise the "That's what I thought..." portion of your Sense 'O Humor?
Mike V over at SSI links to a very interesting Fed.Gov site...



The Federal Election Commission - Individual Search Page.
People like George Clooney have some interesting figures following their names...

Now...If you were to go to that Gawker site with the list of all NYC gun owners and plug in a few names then cross-reference it to the FEC list... Well...
Start with Robert Deniro... Then Howard Stern... Interesting

Entertainment will ensue.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Putting the 'Strange' in Estrangement

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Executive Order?

Regardless of all the EO noise, I doubt The Lightbringer will use an EO to ban firearms...
I hope he's smarter than that... It would be the tipping point.

An EO on 10+ round mags? that's another story...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Overheard on the Radio - KR Arena Edition

Over the tournament operations channel...

Unrecognized voice: "Tom... come in Tom. Big problems in KRA." (Ken Rosewall Arena)
Tom (Operations Manager): "Go ahead for Tom. What's the problem."
UV: "We're in a changeover and they are playing Nickleback on the PA. Everyone is leaving!"

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

20 Degrees (celsius) Cooler Today In Sydney

Elsewhere, no so much...

So damned hot they had to put a new color on the heat map.



I think they are exemplifying the concept of "hotter than blue blazes".


(Edit) ...And I've been informed that my colorblindness is showing again...
It's magenta?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This Will Not End Well

Gawker just published a list... 
(I'm not linking to it... Screw them...no clicks from me...)

Here Is a List of All the Assholes Who Own Guns in New York City
by John Cook   

Last month, the Journal News sparked a firestorm of protest when it published a mappable database of every licensed gun owner in Westchester and Rockland counties, north of New York City. The paper obtained the data—which New York state law explicitly and unambiguously demands be made public—through open records requests. The reaction was swift and furious—gun rights and privacy advocates published the names and addresses of the paper's editors in retaliation, and the paper (ironically) hired armed guards to protect against threats....

446 Pages of trouble...

This is the EXACT problem with a national gun registry.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Getting a Jump On Christmas This Year

Dear Santa:


Here...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome to...

Fuckitshot, Australia. Population, me.



It's every bit of 110° here at the tennis center at the Sydney Olympic Park. And it seems like every thing I need to do is on the opposite side of the site from where I am at any given time.
And that little line under the temp up there- 'feels like 101°'?
So much bullshit.
Maybe more like 201°.

I'm going to go look for a 55 gallon drum...

... 'Cause this looks soooo comfortable.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Clueless. Absolutely Clueless.

One thing about Twitter- it really points out how painfully stupid some people are.
Let me fix that for you-
Thank you President Obama, for making other people pay for my birth control pills.

How about a thank you all the hard-working, tax paying suckers for providing you with your "Free" birth control...

I guess you don't understand "Free".

I'm not sure I understand the logic of Moocher-class women- they scream and shout about Women's Rights, abortion, free choice, and "keep your laws off my body", then expect special treatment...

To sum up - Your reproductive system is 0% of my business but 100% my financial responsibility?
Nice.

I quoted Robert Heinlein in a recent post and I think it needs to be repeated here:

‘Bread and Circuses’ is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome.”

Damn it. We are soooo screwed.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE