Bulkhead Aisle

Woot!

Another Monday, another outbound flight.
Yay me.




TBG - Seat 5B

Hey CBS & Lara Logan: - Shut The Fuck Up

Watching 60 minutes tonight... 60 Minutes was on while I was packing tonight...
I had watched Denver pull out a win in overtime and didn't change the channel after it was over.
(Normally I would not be watching any maninstream news program, and especially not 60 Minutes, but I was busy.)

I caught a quote from an interview and couldn't believe what I heard- I had to go to their website to verify it... (you can do the same. I won't link to it here.)

The story was about the Beans family who have 5 sets of brothers serving in the "Lone Star Battalion" in Afghanistan...
Here was the quote that made me stop to write this:

Logan: That's a lotta trouble to go to, to go and fight in a war that not many Americans believe is worth fighting these days?
Daniel Beans: That's the great thing about America. Everybody's entitled to their opinion. 
(Emphasis mine-TBG)

 What. The. Fuck.

Hey, Lara- I don't know where you got your info, but the characterizations you just made about average Americans offends the living shit out of me. When you tell a man serving his country that the majority of Americans don't believe the cause they are fighting for is worthwhile, well, I have to tell ya, you have no clue what you're talking about and you have no credibility.
I don't understand the liberal media- where they can offer a minority opinion and color it as a majority opinion.
(They also blew the story of The Fighting Sullivan's and how they died. The really need better fact checkers at CBS...)
And yeah, I know she got groped over in Egypt during the Arab Spring protests.
I could give a shit. Go back to South Africa. See You Next Tuesday, bitch.

And way to go Daniel Beans. You handled this biatch MUCH better than I would have. Thanks to you and your family for your service to our country.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Guana River TWSS

Jingles: "It's a lot easier getting out than getting in..."
TBG: "Do I actually have to say it, or can you infer my comment?"

TBG

Liberal College Girl

A/K/A - Stereotypes can be soooo true.

First Person Shooter

Might have to switch to the Squad Auto or maybe even the chainsaw...

TBG - In the weeds

Sunrise

Sunrise at Guana Dam, heading home after scouting Guana WMA.
With a little planning, skill and a smidgen of luck, there will be a post about hunting, killing and wild pork sausage tomorrow morning.

TBG - "I didn't know 4:00 came twice a day."

Scouting Trip

Foggy morning in Guana River Wildlife Management Area

Looking for hog tracks in Guana, hunting wild pigs tomorrow AM with Jingles and Chief Propeller Head...

Life as a Take Out Menu

(Found slipped under my door at the Marriott early this AM. Where the hell was I drinking last night?)

LIFE

 GRAND REOPENING!

Appetizers

Insomnia...............................................$2.00
Weird Dream (4).....................................$4.00
Loud Barking Downstairs...........................$1.20
Cold Bathroom........................................$1.20
Pain in Neck...........................................$4.00
Hangover...............................................$1.10
Angry Wife.............................................$3.25
Dirty Diaper...........................................$1.10

Side Orders (Sm.) (Lg.)

Plain Financial Anxiety..............................$1.00 $2.00
Crispy Fear of Death.................................$1.00 $2.00
Black Mold.....................................................$2.00

Sweet and Sour (Served with Plain Financial Anxiety.)

Girl at pastry shop stops flirting with you
when she sees ring...........................................$9.75

Baby daughter paints funny picture of you on
brand-new 46-inch 1080p HDTV...........................$9.75

Combo Platter (Served with Plain Financial Anxiety, or Crispy Fear of Death.)

Take Out the Trash and Give Finger
to Speeding Driver................................................$6.75

Give Finger to Speeding Driver and Run in Park...........$6.75

Run in Park and Loud Barking Downstairs....................$6.75

Loud Barking Downstairs and Take Out
the Trash............................................................$6.75

Give Finger to Barking Downstairs and Throw
Trash at Speeding Driver.........................................$6.75

Chef's Specials

Dragon and Phoenix..............................................$9.25
Argument with wife cannot be won; stop fantasizing about her seeking forgiveness.

Seven Stars Around the Moon.................................$9.25
Long e-mail to well-connected friend requesting work has bounced yet again.

Four Seasons......................................................$9.25
A strange sense that time is moving faster and faster and you are accomplishing less and less.

Triple Delight.....................................................$9.25
Postman hands you shrink-wrapped parcel, has no idea it contains pornographic DVD, no one home.

Happy Family.....................................................$9.25
Wife elated after you agree to go on medication permanently, despite sexual side effects.

Please: No substitutions.

W-w-what?

Dean: "I just want everyone to know I just delivered a double muff in the shower."

You probably don't want to know...

Happy New Year, Y'all

Greetings all...


A subdued and enjoyable New Year's Day to everyone...

Hopefully everyone was able to avoid infestations of bulletproof Canadian spider-goats*... I had assistance from The Captain last night in that effort, and once again made the mistake of dining with JR...
Nothing that a stomach pump and a Grade 3 exorcism won't cure.


I'm on the job today so no omphaloskepsis concerning 2011, no rants on the President and his efforts; No diatribes on gun control, no commentary on global climate change bufferoonery, no stifled laughter and finger pointing at politicians, or
making fun of The Liberal Media.
At least, not today.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Really, Canadian Spider Goats. Not bulletproof, but disturbing none the less.

Game On

Winter Classic 2012
Alumni Game

Home Sweet Home

I will never complain about my office at the Olympics again...

TBG

Midnight TWSS

Slippers: "...it was bigger than I thought."
TBG: "That's what she said."

TBG

Classic Behavior

The clock is ticking... Winter Classic, Rangers @ Flyers on January 2.

Long rant about overindulgences deleted.

Summary:
1. Maggiano's Family Style Dinner for 4 = Gluttony²+major indigestion

2. Going to Fogo de Chao two days later = Didn't you learn your lesson the other night, dumbass?

I've got to quit going to dinner with JR & Da Boyz.
It always ends with me french-kissing a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
Obviously, not a pretty sight.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Horror scope.

Aries ~ The Ram

Well, Aries, the Moon is in the Seventh House and Jupiter aligns with Mars in no uncertain terms this coming week. You know your co-worker that stole the pencil sharpener last Thursday? The one with the cheeky smile? Well consider yourself in like Flynn! Yep, before the week is out you two are going to be under the covers and going at it like rabbits. To cap off the week, when you eventually turn on your phone after three days of hot sex, you will discover that you have inherited nearly a hundred million dollars from a fond uncle. You will also receive an erroneously calculated gas bill and find termites in the east corner of your house. Your lucky number is 17 - why not buy a lottery ticket - you’ve siphoned all the luck out of some other poor bastard’s universe, may as well go for broke!

Taurus ~ The Bull

Few weeks of your life will be quite as boring as this one. When you accidentally kick over a carton of orange juice on Beach Blvd on Tuesday, it will seem like an earth-shattering event to you. None of your friends will think so, however, especially Aries. Other than that, you will watch a re-run of House on TV, pick your nose until it bleeds and notice that all the cars in your street have number plates ending in 3 or 7. On Thursday you will get out of bed on the opposite side to the one you normally do.

Gemini ~ The Twins

With your sign under the influence of Uranus, this will be a real arse of a week for Geminis. An electrical fault in your motorcycle ignition system tomorrow will cause you to break down in the middle of commuter traffic. When you get off your car to look at the engine so you can pretend that you actually have a clue what goes on under there, a passing motorist will call you a ‘pugnacious lemon-brained froth-sucker’. At least that’s what it will sound like as they speed past. After you have trudged to work in a relentless drizzle you will remember that it was your day off anyway. The rest of the week is a little better, with a nice warm day on Tuesday and a particularly tasty chicken salad sandwich for lunch on Wednesday. Your lucky color is off-white and your lucky fruit is cumquat.

Cancer ~ The Crab

There’s no business like show business Cancer, and that’s no business for you to contemplate for even a second. Monday evening brings the temptation to go center stage at an after-work karaoke escapade, a temptation to which you will quickly wish you hadn’t succumbed. The video clip taken by a co-worker will be posted on YouTube and will receive 172,980 viewings. Most of those viewers will be laughing at you, not with you. You will not go into work on Tuesday, which will turn out to be a wise decision. On Wednesday you will receive news of a distant relative’s win on the lottery. You will eat a mediocre pasta dish on Thursday evening and drink a little too much red wine. On the weekend you will see a bizarre accident involving a person dressed in a bear costume and a clothes rack. Your sleep will be disturbed by dreams of escaped bees.

Leo ~ The Lion

On Monday you will be crushed to death by an unsecured piano falling out the back of a furniture truck.


Virgo ~ The Virgin

With Neptune high in the sky and Mercury on the ascendant, the next few days bring many exciting small things for Virgos. Early on there will be a letter in your name with a ten dollar voucher at K-Mart. On Tuesday a man in Liederhosen will goose you on the bus. Wednesday morning sees the commencement of a subscription to National Geographic and the afternoon brings an offer of scones and jam. Thursday you will be given a small parcel by a Middle Eastern man. It will contain Turkish Delight, a packet of cardamom pods and some spools of maroon thread. Over the weekend there will be some nice weather. You will see something funny on the TV that will cause you to snort blue Gatorade over a clean shirt.

Libra ~ The Scales

After last week, you’ll be wanting to sit down and take it easy you Librans! Which is what you’ll attempt to do, and fail. You face a week of constant interruptions, aggravations and stomach ailments. You will try to avoid being contacted by switching off your mobile phone, but that won’t work - news of a relative’s recent windfall (an inheritance due to the death of a wealthy uncle) will reach you by singing telegram. A motorcycle will break down in front of you in peak-hour traffic and you will uncharacteristically shout obscenities at the poor bastard looking at the engine. You will witness an horrific accident in which a person is crushed to death by a piano.

Scorpio ~ The Scorpion

Scorpio! What a week you have ahead! You know how you’ve always wanted to parachute out of plane at 3000 feet? No? Well that’s what you find yourself doing anyway. It’s not at all fun. Later in the week you will hit your head very hard on the sharp under-edge of a cabinet. There will be a lot of blood. But fear not! Romance is in the air! A tall dark mysterious stranger wearing a cape will give you flowers (an attractive selection of gerberas, daisies and lilies) at the bus stop. Unfortunately they will trigger your hayfever and you will spend the rest of the week in bed. An email sent to you by Bill Gates, offering you a million dollars, turns out to be spam. Your lucky number this week is 1.232 and your lucky woodworking tool is an awl.

Ophiucus ~ The Serpent Bearer

As usual, people will fail to take any notice of you this week, and you will feel transparent and insignificant.


Sagittarius ~ The Archer

A trip to deep thermal vents in a submersible is on the cards for lucky Sagittarius this week. You probably don’t think that’s likely, but it is a damn site more likely than the discovery of the alien civilization at the bottom of the ocean which follows. You find yourself front-page news along with the other 500 million Sagittarians who were down there. Your lucky color is taupe and your lucky grain is barley.

Capricorn ~ The Sea-goat

Remarkably, this week for Capricorns is exactly the same in every detail as last week.

Aquarius ~ The Water Carrier

Aquarius can look forward to a FedEx package this week. It will contain some news from Peter Popoff, with a lot of writing and a piece of The True Cross. Later in the week brings a visit from a Greenpeace representative wanting you to join up. She will give you a leaflet and a sticker. You will have a very spicy curry on Wednesday night, and some garlic naan bread. A noisy neighbor will keep you awake on Thursday by playing seemingly endless repetitions of ‘My Sharona’ on their hi-fi. Your lucky vegetable is a swede, as is your lucky National representative.

Pisces ~ The Fishes

As the week commences Pisceans might start to think that they’re going insane. As, in fact, they are. By Wednesday the hallucinations will have well and truly set in, and you’ll all be completely bonkers by 3pm Thursday. Your lucky color is paisley and your lucky prescription medication is Valium.

Classic, Continued

The rain finally stopped;
Now if the wind would drop to a manageable 30 knots or so, we might be able to get stuff done...

Winter. Classic.

And it's raining...

Lovely. Just fripping lovely.


TBG

Bah. Humbug.

In the spirit of the Holiday Season, inspired by Dr J and his postings at The Gormogons and Famous the Borepatch's myriad of musical postings, here's one of MY favorite holiday carols, a parody of Tom Waits and Peter Murphy by the Athens Georgia group Porn Orchard...




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

The Whitest Rap of 2011

From our Educational Videos Department:

Following in the footsteps of Tom Lerher and his musical adaption of the Periodic Table, two Columbia University students playing Wm. Strunk and E.B. White, performing The Elements of Style.
The Elements of Style from Jake Heller on Vimeo.

“Split infinitive/Never definitive/Sounds unintelligent/Dumb and inelegant.”
Forsooth!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This Is Why You Grind Your Own

Poster here

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Recovered Post: NBA Finals 09 -- Orlando TWSS

I was checking under the hood on Blogger this morning and found some posts that got hung up under the chassis and were never formally posted... Like this gem from back in 2009...

Rios: "I don't share my bananas with anyone."
TBG: "That's what she said."


Other fun quotes...
Sean: "...the rats are going to outlive us."
MichaelM: "Them and Cher."

Good times, good times...
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cheesy Celebs

(more after the jump)

Car Wash to the Nth Degree

Looks like a Top Gear stunt.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Perfect Christmas Card

Terry Gilliam brings us the perfect Christmas Card, complete with gunfire, kidnappings and theft...
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

For Crafty Cooks

...the Melted Snowman Cookie



How to do it...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Desperate, Aren't We?

 Really?
You need the Interweb to find a place to drink?


Find me a place to drink.

Pathetic.
(But useful for unimaginative travelers.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Christmas Want List

Want: to do

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Want: For the tree

Alas, no longer available through Blackwater Xe Academi

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Want: to sneak one onto someone else's tree...



Pornaments.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

You Ain't The Boss of Me

Tam waxes eloquent on Human Nature, and more specifically, American Behavior.

Go. Read. That's an order...
Do not read it. US Gubbmint sez: It's probably bad for you.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Stowaway

I think it got into the car while we were in the Plateau...

I just want to know why it's smiling...

Quite disturbing.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

More Spiders

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE