Friday, January 27, 2012

Rumor Control

Got an email the other day from The Big Bossman...

To paraphrase:
Just getting back to town after some long travels and I've got a big announcement.
Friday at 12:30 we're throwing a shindig and I'll make the announcement.

So there is a BBQ at the office today...
And 'something big' I guess.
And for some reason quite a few people (based on the emails and text messages I've received) think I have some inside track.

Sorry, y'all.
Just because I have pictures of Jingles in some "compromising situations" and there are rumors that I have installed surveillance devices in strategic locations...this hardly means that I am privy to The Big Announcement.
What I find interesting, however, is some of the ideas people have shared with me regarding The Announcement.

Some of the interesting ideas:
1. The company is being sold/taken over/bought out by a competitor.
(Most popular rumor)

2. The Company has been chosen as a campaign stop on the President's re-election effort- due to the overwhelming Left-leaning of upper management.

3. Things are going so well, the marketing department is going to forgo commissions for Q4 of 2011 to provide a 1-year leases on new Porsche's for all employees.

4. The Company has been awarded a new contract to provide scoring for the Western Australia Cockroach Racing League. The WACRL will be expanding to 5 events this year, with a potential TV contract with Cable Channel 2378.6 in Perth, Australia.

5. The lawsuit against a certain 2nd Floor Senior Manager by a drag queen in Georgia has finally been settled.

6. The Company is moving out of our luxurious building and location to a barn/warehouse facility in an abandon sugarcane field in Hendry County, to economize on overhead costs and provide better hog hunting opportunities for the propellerheads and hunting segment of our staff.

8. Hooters of America is opening a micro-cafe in our warehouse. Hopefully this will cut down on post-lunchtime absenteeism in the HelpDesk, E-Media, and everyone who reports to Jingles.

9. New travel guidelines are being finalized... everyone will be traveling to all events (including international locations) via high-speed rail, in order to support President Obama's HSR Initiatives. If HSR is not available between Jax and the event location, employees will travel via Greyhound bus. (Director level and above will travel via Amtrak for all trips)

10. The Company is discontinuing all use of Microsoft and PC based hardware. We're all Apple - all the time baby. Viva the 99%!

So... there ya are. Rumor Control at its finest.

One suggestion though for all the folks that will be attending-
I wouldn't drink or eat of the chow until AFTER the announcement...
Just saying.

TBG, still on the road.

1 comment:

Old NFO said...

Don't ya just 'love' the rumor mill... sigh