Letters to People Unlikely to Respond

Dear Congressperson

Feeling a sense of relief?
Think the pressure is off and you can head home for the Easter break and relax?

Think again.

If you voted for Health Care Reform Obama's Steaming Hunk Of Shit, your political career is over.



Keep spending money we don't have between now and the November elections...
I'll be stockpiling a large supply tar and feathers.

You people have lost your minds.

Assholes.

Fuck all of you.
Fuck you with ten feet of shit-smeared wrought-iron fencing.
Twice.
Sideways.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Not With a Bang, But a Whimper...

(The bangs will come later.)


No one disputes that some changes needed to be made to the health care industry...
But having Big Brother take it over and run it into the ground is not the solution to the problem.

So here we go...Down the slippery slope.

Government control, regulation and administration is not the solution to every issue.
Unfortunately- the only tool in the Democrat's toolbox is a hammer, and they think everything is a nail.

Our government used to be OF The People and FOR The People...
Obviously they have now turned a deaf ear to The People and and transformed it to a government OVER the people.
The Democrats/Progressives are passing legislation that is good for them and their buddies and their campaign contributors, and ignoring the voice of The People.

If the Town Hall meetings last year weren't enough of an indication, if the message sent by the election of Scott Brown early this year wasn't a clear enough message to scrap this Piece of Shit bill, if the fact that the House and Senate switchboards were clogged by HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of calls to the Assholes in office this past week hasn't shown them the light, then obviously nothing will.
The legislation couldn't stand on it's own... They needed a SuperMajority to pass it- and even then it didn't work. And instead of scrapping the bill that an overwhelming majority of people didn't want and starting over with both parties having input- maybe less government control, maybe some tort reform? No, they absolutely HAD to get it done before the congresscritters head home for spring break...
(Because you know what's going to happen when they get home... The defecation will be impacting the ventilation. You thought the Tea Party crowd was vocal before? Just wait.)


When it became inevitable that normal methods weren't going to work, they started to drag out the arcane legislative Dark Arts like Reconciliation and then the Slaughter maneuver...They just bullied, intimidated and bribed the round-heeled weasels and moved on.
With mountains of pork, favors, entitlements and stinky deals, there is a monstrous shit sandwich coming right at us and, as Lt. Lockhart said in Full Metal Jacket, we'll all have to take a big bite. And another and another.

No one wants to stand between The Lightworker and his need for self-aggrandizement.

Legislation being driven by the Narcissistic Traitors, Scoundrel, Liars, Cheats, and Crooks, so they will be know by their legacy...
(Which they will... We will know them. We will remember them.)


March 21st will be remembered... Not unlike December 7th, September 11th, and the Fifth of November...

So, now, what will they cram down our throats next?

Immigration reform? Check.
And you can bet it will be invasive and abusive and geared to bring as much glory to His Oneness' legacy as is possible.

Can & Trade Crap and Tax? You bet.
Like a dog returning to its vomit.

Maybe some Education Reform?
Let's let The Fed take over the funding and then content, curriculum, and enforcement. THAT's a good idea, huh?

And, since we can now pass legislation on anything without approval from The People, does anyone think some new Gun Control laws might be dancing in the Progressives dreams? You betcha.

So remember the date, Children...
March 21st.

As we rush headlong toward Civil War in America (The Sequel)
remember this little ditty from Jennifer...

Remember, Remember
Health Care in November
Vote Buying, Treason, and Plot
I know of no reason the Slaughter House Treason
Should ever be forgot

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

FTMF

Kucinich= See Weasel, Asshole


"I have doubts about this bill," Kucinich said at a news conference he called to announce his decision to vote yes, adding: "This is not the bill I wanted to support."

"However, after careful discussions with President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, my wife Elisabeth and close friends I have decided to cast a vote in favor of the legislation," he announced.

"If my vote is to be counted, let it count now."


Corrupt motherfucker.
Who'd he listen to?
Obama, Pelosi, his "close friends"...
HOW ABOUT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE?
HOW ABOUT YOUR CONSTITUENTS?
Did you listen to THEM?
Apparently not.
Asshat.

Give him a ride in AirFarce1 and promise to come campaign for him this fall and he's all yours...

As long as I'm slinging shit, I might as well throw some at his attention whore publicity hound wife...

She gets the Anna Nicole Smith/J Howard Marshall II "It's True Love"
award for bagging the sawed-off little oompa loompa.

Fuck that little motherfucker.
With a 4 foot barbed-wire dildo.
Twice.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

An Oldie But a Goodie

I still like this one...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome to Georgia

Speed Limit - 0

TBG

The Other White Meat

- or -
Lola, we hardly knew ya...

So I'm part of the PRICCS. (No surprise, eh?)
(PRICCS - Pig Roasting In Caja China Society)

Y'all know I love to cook...
This works out well since I also like to eat.
And since I also like to experiment with non-traditional cooking methods
(Deep Fried Turkey, Masters Cordon Bleu, Elemental Chicken, Pulled Cork, Kreeper, etc)
when I started to see articles and stories about this new method for cooking
whole roasted pig, well, I had to see what it would take to procure a La Caja China.

Since the acquisition of a Caja China is a little on the steep side, we formed a little consortium to split the cost and custody of a La Caja China #2.


In theory, if you follow the directions you can't screw it up... and they make it difficult to lose the directions, since they are printed on the box itself.

We got it a couple months back, and while I was up in Vancouver one of the co-conspirators was able to assemble the box and prepare it for use.
In theory he was also going to go out and shoot a wild hog for us to christen The Box, but, alas, that didn't happen.

We have all been itching to try out The Box, but travel schedules had put everything on hold up until now- and this looked like the last weekend the entire Society would be together for a long while, so we ditched the plan for the feral pig and I found a new guest of honor out in Green Cove Springs...
On Friday afternoon Co-Conspirator #2 and Yours Truly spent an hour or so preparing Lola for her date with the Caja China.
CC#2 whipped up an amazing Mojo marinade (heavy on the garlic, citrus and spices) which we massaged into the meat... I would also make reference to injecting the meat with "secret sauce" but no doubt this would be misconstrued by you pervs.
We left her in the cooler overnight, immersed in Liquid Love (tm).

Saturday Lola made her appearance at the home of Co-Conspirator #1,
a/k/a The Scene of The Crime.

The PRICCS Roasting Box...

Ready for action.

Supplies:
Caja China #2
50lbs Charcoal
Welders Gloves
Ash-Management Tools (Bucket & Shovel)
Mojo-Marinated Piglet

Ok-
Off we go...


Co-Conspirator #2 extracting Lola from the cooler.

Why Lola?

Don't ask me. We knew we needed to name her; I was all for Petunia, but Bingalls (CC#1'S son) came up with it...


Putting Lola to the rack...

Once the victim Guest of Honor is on the rack, she gets one last hit of citrus & spices, and into the cooking chamber she goes...

Ready to put the lid on and apply the heat.

16lbs of charcoal on the lid...

...and Jingalls starts the fire.

As soon as the coals are ready...

...we spread out the coals in a uniform layer across the top and start the countdown.


An hour later, 10 more pounds of charcoal.

An hour after that, 10 more pounds, then 30 minutes later another 12 lbs.

This is the hardest part...
Once you start the coals, the instructions are very explicit about NOT opening the box... From several accounts I have read on the Intarw3bz, people have ruined their shindigs by playing peek-a-boo with the pig... I was able to suppress the urge, but it took Herculean strength of will and a good 12 ounces of rum...


So at 3 hours 30 minutes it's time to turn the swine.


CC#2 & CC#1 flip Lola into position for the next phase...




Once flipped, you have to score the skin; Here are the guys cutting X's into the skin. Once done, another 30 minutes of cook time then checking the skin for crispness every 10 or 15 minutes.

End results...


She could have used another 30 minutes, but we had a Ravenous Horde on hand, so it was time to start throwing meat at them before things got too ugly...

We gave her 15 minutes to cool down then started to serve the meat...

Photo-documentation ended abruptly at this point, since my hands were too greasy to handle the camera any more...

The meat was a-f%$@#&ing-mazing- the marinade made it a tart savory Lechon Asado, served up with baked beans, ceviche, a couple different kinds of slaw, and buns for sandwich fixins.

The Verdict- Awesome. On Steroids.

Next up: Turkey? Chickens? Ribs?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Current Events - Last Week.

It was a relatively easy week, especially in comparison with the previous six weeks that I spent in Van-coover...
Got home Friday, chilled out on the weekend and caught up with latest gossip and news with The Woman Who Knows Most Things and The Perfect Child.

Back in the office on Monday to start dealing with post-Olympic stuff, equipment repatriation, missed emails, expense reports (still undone- but I'm trying...Really!)
Tuesday I was in Augusta at A Nice Golf Course do do some prep work and made it back for Shrimp Wednesday at Gene's.
That was the highlight of the work week, as Jingalls and I invited T-Rav to Lunch, he felt it was necessary to bring along the pussies his posse of ne'er-do-well commie-liberal-pinko cohorts... Glyn, Chris and a couple other weasels. I think T-Rav was concerned for his safety.
Dude, had we planned your demise, your little skirt-wearing co-liberals wouldn't have made a difference.
T-Rav was running in the River Run this weekend, so we couldn't abuse him too much.

Friday found me running some other errands, including a trip to Green Cove Springs to pick up an under-aged female named Lola for rather nefarious purposes.

She had a rather central role in our plans for the weekend...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I know... I know...

I've been lax.
I have a buncha stuff to post- bear with me.

Meanwhile, a video for you:

Obama at the Bat


Enjoy

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I's are Crossed, T's are Dotted...

...equipment paperwork done, bags packed, and customs have been cleared.
Sitting at YVR with a (double) Bloody Caesar...
11 hours to Jax Beach.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Overheard in Moose's Down Under

(Late post...its been sitting in the 'drafts' folder for two weeks. Oops. )

Whilst dining with the famous SpongeMark at an Aussie bar in downtown...
His VB had been empty since the waitwench brought our dinner to the table. He tried the subtle approach, just making eye contact, which the wench blew off since she thought he was just being fresh.
Then he tried the old 'raise the glass' move, which she ignored...

When she finally came back to clear our table she asked if she get could us anything else...
"I'm okay, but my dessicated friend is in need of another VB." I said.
...Which I thought was witty, but forgot that using a 10th grade vocabulary word was probably not a good idea in a noisy bar.
"Did you say he's got TB, or wants VD?" she shouted...

(If she coughs, screw her.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This Is Going To Be Bad...

...absolutely no good can come of this.

Chocolate-covered Peeps. And dark chocolate-covered peeps.
Jeebus Pete.


Given that peeps are my own personal Kyptonite, this new format will be my downfall.

I am now jonesing for a big cup of coffee with one of these babies slowly dissolving into it...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wow. I'm staying at the IBC tonight...

Teh crazies are running wild in the streets of Vancoober.
Yes, Canada won the gold medal hockey game.
Yippee.


Jeebus. Why couldn't it have been anyone other than Crosby...

Things are getting nasty on the US/CAN front, if the entries on
TFLN are an indicator:
(940):Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.

The city shut down alcohol sales at 2:00pm today.
Doubtful that it will do any good...

The aerial video feeds are showing the streets between here and my hotel are just jammed with people. It looks like New Years Eve in Times Square out there.
They've shut down the bus system because the streets are just too full of people.




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sochi 2014 Mascot

The Mascot for the 2014 Olympics in Sochi has been chosen...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I'm Going To Get Replaced On The Olympics Team

...by Jingalls, if this proposal goes through.

Pole dancing could be recognized as a sport and headed to the Olympics

No, seriously.

A group of pole-dance advocates is hoping for a "test" event in 2012 and a more formal pitch four years after that, in Rio de Janeiro, according to The Associated Press.

"It’s just a matter of time before pole dancing gets Olympic recognition," says Ania Przeplasko of Hong Kong, founder of the International Pole Dancing Fitness Association.

"There will be a day when the Olympics see pole dancing as a sport," she told The Associated Press. "The Olympic community needs to acknowledge the number of people doing pole fitness now. We’re shooting for 2012."

Some dancers aren’t so sure about pole dancing at the Olympics because they worry that the sensual aspect of the discipline would be destroyed, and that old-school pole dancers might be pushed aside by gymnasts, circus performers and Chinese acrobats who could easily pick up the moves.

Wow...
If this happens I doubt we'll have problems trying to fill out our staff roster for the 2012 Games in London.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Breaking News!!

This just in!....

On Day 20 of full operations we have finally achieved
the impossible.

Dinner at the IBC is actually edible and has flavor.

Film at 11.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Day Fourteen, Getting Punchy @ the IBC

We're getting a little stir crazy here in the bowels of the IBC...

We're watching the start of Women's Figure Skating (Free Skate) and I trot out the old jokes, which are bound to offend anyone walking by The Lair.

You remember those jokes from the '94 Olympics:

Tonia Harding's new restaurant - Club Nancy

The KFC Kerrigan Combo - Two small breasts and a bruised thigh.

Harding's new sponsorship deal - for Lucky Strike cigarettes.

Tonya's phone number 1-800-#*#-*###



BiV is also chastising me as we watch the skaters...
"You're going to get banned from watching them, just like you did when you were watching women's gymnastics back in Beijing."

Yeah- I'm going to hell... The one reserved for pervs who watch the Olympics for the figure skaters & gymnasts, and for people who talk at the theater.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Perceptions of Sarah

Teh News runs a picture in the paper...

Sarah Palin

Actual picture

What Slaw sees:


What T-Rav sees:


Slaw- Ease up on the red meat...
TRav- Knock off the estrogen shots.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

From our WTF department...

Sex Spider killed in Dutch supermarket

A toxic spider crawled out of a bunch of bananas at the jumbo hypermarket in the Netherlands. This species of banana spider has poison that causes infernal pains and paralysis phenomena. Men bitten by the Phoneutria nigriventer experienced long and painful erections which can lead to impotence.

Banana Spiders. Heh.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Fashion Statement

You might want to rethink your prom dress selection.
It's sending the wrong message.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Well, Since The US Was Eliminated From Curling...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Reading Assignment: Climate Change Hoaxes

All you Warmies/ ACC apostles need to start keeping up with the news...
The science is NOT settled.
And just like my comment about the Vancouver Olympic doom-shouters, nothing sells newspapers (or gets hits on your site) like an alarmist headline... In this case, nothing gets more grant money shoveled down the shitter than a "Esteemed Scientist" shouting "ZOMG! TEH ICE IS ALL MELTING! THERE'LL BE NONE FOR THE CONGRESSMAN'S MARTINI!!!1!"

No one with two brain cells to rub together (except a few Hooters waitresses) denies that things they are a'changin'... the question is how much we are actually causing it, and how enacting draconian laws and stupid regulations and levying taxes to fund it all is going to change it.

All in the name of Green-ness?
No, all in the name of control, power and money...

Climategate U-turn as scientist at centre of row admits: There has been no global warming since 1995

Climate scientists admit fresh error over data on rising sea levels

Climate scientists hit out at 'sloppy' melting glaciers error

I'm a sceptic now, says ex-NASA climate boss

Climate panel: Time for a refit?

Climate Scientists Withdraw Rising Sea Level Claim

World may not be warming, say scientists

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Just Had to Share This One...

Discussing St.Ass butchering Bode Miller's name...

St. Ass: "Look...Bode Miller is winning ze gold medal."
BiV: "It's Bode. 'Boe-dee'"
TBG: "He has the troubles with the non-silent E."
Biv: "In Soviet Russia, the E silences you."

Classic...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

IRM = FOA

In computer scoring of many different events, they have what is referred to as an IRM, or an Invalid Result Mark. (See why they abbreviate it?)

IRMs are TLAs like DNS (did not start), DNF (did not finish), DSQ Disqualified, and so on.
We have an unofficial IRM here in the IDS Lair, used as we watch the feeds from Alpine, Long track, Short track, Snowboard... Hell, pretty much everything including Curling...
FOA.
Falls On Ass

My favorite are the folks from Figs in the Pacific Coliseum...

My man Pete once told me the basis of all comedy is someone else's misfortune.
So true. So very true.


Impact in 3... 2... 1...


That's a good way to break a wrist, there, Spooky.


Ooooh, this is gonna leave a mark...


...But the hair... The hair still looks good.


It's okay, this is part of the routine.


Man, these sequins are digging into my ass...


Hey- Farmer Ted... Keep the skates on the ice.


Alright, maybe this one should be FOF- Falls on Face.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Super Secret Starbucks Spot

I have mentioned the Super Secret Starbucks Spot in a previous message before...

It's kind of like Beijing, if you remember that story...
Don't get too creative.
It's just a machine with buttons...

The Code Monkeys in line to get a latte...

Cappuccino, Latte.
Single or double.
Perhaps a squeeze of Vanilla is as fancy as it gets here.

Alas...

...it's not so secret any more.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Objectivity Lesson - Vancouver

Olympic-Sized Problems

Let me list them for you...

Huge cost overruns going into the Games.


Warm temperatures which prompted a round-the-clock operation to bring in snow from higher elevations to make Cypress Mountain ready for Freestyle and Snowboard competition.

Tragedy at the Luge practice run on the eve of the opening ceremony.

At the opening ceremony one of the four pillars that support the central flame failed to rise out of the floor, leaving Catriona Le May Doan with nothing to light.

The International Press and French Canadians get irritated that not enough French was spoken during the Opening Ceremonies.

Heavy snowfall/fog/rain at Whistler that forced disruptions to alpine skiing events.

Injuries plaguing the competitors.

Protesters rioting downtown and breaking windows at the Official Olympic store.


The location of the Olympic flame in downtown Vancouver is behind a wire fence.


The problem of the buses:
Several dozen drivers quitting complaining about the long hours and poor working conditions.
Buses are breaking down.
Bus drivers getting lost.
(Bus Bus, Sea Bus)

Organizers were forced into an embarrassing cancellation of 28,000+ tickets for events at Cypress over safety fears with rain washing away snow that made the general admission standing room spectator area unsafe.

A veritable downpour during the Women's Mogul competition.


Zamboni Olympia "Super Green" Electric Ice Resurfacing Machines unable to perform their jobs. Replacement "Zamboni" brought in. (Shhhh!)

Protests at the biathlon on Tuesday over timing errors.

Protests and delays at Long Track over malfunctioning starting equipment, and scoring systems that made a timely race restart impossible.


But the local Fishwrapper makes a good point...

"No point in circling the wagons and pretending otherwise, of pointing to every bus that arrives on time, every security checkpoint that works flawlessly, every smiling, polite volunteer," comments Globe and Mail.

G&M is correct: Quite a bit has gone right.

Just look at the smile and tears on Lindsey Vonn's face, or Maelle Ricker after her win at Snowboard Cross.
 
And the two Russian winning gold and silver at the Cross Country today.
Or, or Shaun White's amazing performance; No matter your opinion of the Ramp Monkeys- he's still pretty good, eh?...

And after all the horror stories about the Sahara-like heat and the snow convoy & helicopter airlift canceling out any Carbon Footprint credits that might have been garnered at the 2010 games- the actual competitions at Cypress have been fantastic.
(Which is more important: that those with enough luck, prior planning or disposable income got screwed out of standing-room-only tickets, or that the competition occurred, and the athletes performed at the best of their ability?)

It's been rough here in Vancouver... Not for me, of course, except for the dismal dining at the IBC and the high price of rum, but rather for the image of the Games overall...

But then- I can remember page after page of complaints about Athens, Torino and Beijing too...
Happy spectators and perfect conditions don't sell papers, or bring in viewers to the news broadcasts...
Only tragedy and controversy are news.
"If it bleeds, it leads" is the old adage, and Vancouver 2010 has been hemorrhaging.

Enjoy the Games, if you can. It's about the competitors and performances,
not politics, not woulda-coulda-shoulda.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Overheard at the IBC

...during Men's figure skating, in one of the control suites along the corridor:

"I think that guy's gay."


Ah... I see Captain Obvious is in the building...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Subtropical?

I don't think that means what you think it means...

Team finds subtropical waters flushing through Greenland fjord

I have a couple issues with this (IMHO) alarmist piece...

Deep inside the Sermilik Fjord, researchers found subtropical water as warm as 39 degrees Fahrenheit (4 degrees Celsius).

39 degrees is NOT subtropical.
And it's "...UP TO 39 Degrees"???
Ninja, please.

From our "talking-out-both-sides-of-your-mouth" department-

"This is the first time we've seen waters this warm in any of the fjords in Greenland," says Straneo.

But then:

"This is the first extensive survey of one of these fjords that shows us how these warm waters circulate and how vigorous the circulation is," says Straneo.

So... You're saying this is the first time you've ever seen anything here... so you don't have anything to compare to.

And...

"The team also reconstructed seasonal temperatures on the shelf using data collected by 19 hooded seals ..."

WTF?

Ok... I'm no longer paying any attention to computer models, reconstructions, simulations, artificial intelligence, predictive technology, computer-aided testing or anything else remotely resembling scientific wild-ass guesses...
This is the "science" that gave us acid rain (complete bullshit), nuclear winter (complete bullshit), the greenhouse effect (complete bullshit) and the doom-shouters that stated with all confidence that when Saddam Hussein torched the Kuwaiti oil fields that the clouds would darken the skies world-wide "Look- we have graphs and simulations to prove it!" (even more complete bullshit).


What this all it boils down to is in the last sentence...

"We need more continuous observations to fully understand how they work, and to be able to better predict sea-level rise in the future," says Straneo.

Which translated from Glowbull Warmening Alarmist Speak means:
"I need my government grant money renewed to I can fuck off in the fjords for another year and not have to worry about getting a real job. At least not until the next round of funding runs out."

All the computer-science propeller-heads need to get out of the Complete Fucking Bullshit Climate Science Labs and go down to the basement where the gamers are writing their newest rendering engines and get into writing computer games...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

A Question for Blogspot Bloggers

Skunk, Travis, some of you gunbloggers too...

Have you checked your uploaded images?

Some of mine are missing-
I'll bet your are too...

As far as I can tell, it looks like if you use the upload button
on the editor screen or do a mobile photo post, the pic winds up
in a Picasa web album.
At some point after you publish, the URL for the picture changes...

Anyone got any guidance regarding this?

The Help Forums for Blogger/Picasa is rather vague on this...
Hoping some of y'all can help, or avoid having the same issue I'm having.

HBO, baby.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Delays at the ROO.

We've been amused by issues at the Richmond Olympic Oval.
They have 3 Olympia Resurfacers... and they are destroying the ice.
(IOC official to NBC Talking Head Dan Jantzen: "It's NOT a Zamboni! Quit calling it that.")

VANCOUVER, Feb 15 (Reuters) - A mechanical problem with the ice resurfacing machine delayed Olympic speed skating action for the second day in a row causing more than an hour-long interruption in Monday’s men’s 500 metres race.
The battery-powered Olympia Ice Resurfacer broke down while preparing the ice for the second half of the opening heat of the men’s 500.

Battery powered! Well, there's yer problem...

I can just see Slim Pikins looking up from under the hood of the thing saying
"Someone's gonna hafta ride back to town for a shitload of D-Cells."

Greenest Orimpics Evar, Baby...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Things Not to Do

Necessity might be the mother of invention, but Captain Morgan is not it's father.

No matter how bad you need it, you cannot cook bacon on a hotel coffeemaker heating element.

I'm just sayin'...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE