Us Vs. Them

-or-
Who the hell are they serving these warrants to, and are these people deploying IEDs?

So, the cops in Dallas got themselves an RV...



Now, I don't really have an issue about retasking hardware and putting it to good use,
but I find it a little difficult to believe the LEOs in Dallas have had such problems serving warrants that they need this bitch.


The spox for Dallas PD Carmen Castro was oh-so-happy to boast that the $600,000 vehicle was obtained "...at no cost to taxpayers."
I have news for you honey... The Department of Defense bought 9,000 of these recreational vehicles. At over a half-million dollars each.
PAID FOR BY TAXPAYERS.
So... Constant Readers (except Luc, of course)... How do you feel about providing Dallas with a slick Armored Vehicle with money out of YOUR pocket?
They are saying the vehicles will be used as “an efficient way to ensure that deputies are prepared if and when a dangerous situation arises.”*
So...
If history is any indicator, within a year the Dallas PD will find a way to use this thing for everything from serving warrants to deadbeat dads to minor traffic violations.

And now they (DoD) are giving them away to police departments that arguably don't need them- but they will continue to incur operational costs that WILL impact local taxpayers.

Now, in my estimation the DHS doesn't need 2,700 of these either, but they have bought that many brand news ones from Navistar**... Why didn't they just get a few of these 'free' ones the DoD had lying around?

Just two more observations-
First- why not SELL the bastards at auction? I'm sure we could find buyers in Africa, South America, Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia that would love to get a bargain on an MRAP.
(probably because they have under-the-table agreements with Navistar not to sell to potential customers)
Second- The old adage "Si vis pacem, para bellum" could be applied...
But do we really want local LEOs preparing for war?
Do we realize that WE are the OpFor?

Robert Peel would be outraged.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

* "If and When..." - But of course, it is preferable that the local non-police population DO NOT take steps to protect themselves. That would be irresponsible.
If something bad happens, call the cops. They'll send a response team.
In an MRAP.

**Navistar is protecting their friends at DHS and has buried the press release, but read through these... It's very enlightening.

How To Be Delayed Getting Home On A Saturday Night

-or-

The truth will set you free get you detained by The Man

(Snip of a tedious narrative where I avoid hitting a cop that pulled into my lane, who promptly pulled me over.)


"Mr. TBG... Have you been drinking tonight?"
He gives me the flashlight half-shine to watch my reaction.

Ok... You want to play fuck-fuck? We can play fuck-fuck.

"Drinking tonight? Oh yeah."
"Really?" (long pause- watching me carefully) "How many have you had tonight?"
"Damn... I really don't know exactly. I've been drinking all day. College football on TV today you know. Let me think."
I look thoughtfully off into space and count on my fingers.
"Gosh, sir... maybe five or six with dinner, and probably six or seven while I was watching the Georgia / South Carolina earlier this afternoon."
"Five or six beers?" he asks, incredulously.
"Actually, it was iced tea with dinner. I was drinking diet Coke earlier."
"What?" he asked- starting to get pissed.
"You asked if I was drinking. You weren't specific. I WAS drinking."
He gives me a looooong look. I feel like I might have pushed the wrong button.

"Sir, I pulled you over because you were exhibiting behavior of someone  operating a vehicle under the influence. Step over to my car. Will you participate in some field sobriety tests?"
"Sure, but it's a waste of time. I haven't had a drop of alcohol in over a week.
I was swerving because you had pulled half-way into my lane and I was trying to avoid you."
LEO is not happy... He put me through the 3 standard field sobriety tests... (And at this point I'm REALLY glad I wasn't carrying).
Stand on one foot, arms out, horizontal gaze pupil test, and the stand & turn test...
(Passed with flying colors.)
I could only think of Steve Martin's scene in 'The Man with Two Brains'

So...
I now have a nice formal piece of paper citing me for "Careless Driving"...
( a largely subjective charge) ... which I shall deal with anon.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Leftist Idiots

I don't understand the Progressive/Democrat idiots...

From one side of their mouths they are starting to realize what a steaming pile of shit Obamacare is, but they can't seem to equate the role the Lightbringer had in screwing up a system that, for all its flaws, actually worked.

They don't recognize that the guy is a completely empty suit, with no record of accomplishments anywhere.

No transcripts from college, no articles or writings from the prestigious ivy-league  publication of which  he was anointed editor. No legislation from his 100 days as an Illinois senator. No track record on anything. And what little information is out there is false... Or is it?

His school records from Indonesia- claiming Muslim beliefs and upbringing. His biography in a 1991 publication listing Kenya as his birthplace.

So, misleading then, or now?

Its interesting how this mostly-imaginary person seems to attract more of the same...

Dead people vote for him, and of his 36.9 million Twitter followers, 19.5 million are fake or non-existent.

Just like him. 

(Sorry, I'm not a Birther, I just have this thing about Truth- and this guy has none.)

It is also a little puzzling to me how the Left uses 'health care' and 'health insurance coverage' interchangeably.

Like the phrase "everyone will now have access to health care", like that is one of the major benefits of the ACA... 

I'm pretty sure everyone HAS access to healthcare... That phrase should read "The government will now have access to all your personal data, and control over the services to be provided."

Scary to me, because governmental control of anything is so efficient, economical, and completely immune to being abused.

TBG

Incommunicado

Been kinda quiet 'round here, eh?

Been wondering why?


Because we were On the Beach...


Of course, during the 4 days we were on-island, it was never this quiet...
Once we were back on the boat heading for Cayo Hueso, it was a much more peaceful place again...
After all - 8 hard-drinking campers can only endure so much peace-and-quiet before the urge to break something overpowers one of them...
Then all bets are off.

I can happily report that all clothes stayed on for the majority of this trip...

A more detail AAR is coming anon. Stay tuned.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Your Results From The Lab Are In....

...And they're downright adorable.

First- fellow two-wheeler Borepatch posted a video that is delightful...


Any Lab owner (especially a Black Lab owner) that views this and doesn't smile in recognition needs to spend more time with their dog. They've missed the best part of the pet-owner relationship.

Which brings us to another Lab-centric photo that is just fetching...(heh)...

The look on the dog's face says it all...
"You're not here for the hunting, are you?"

The backstory on this photo is pretty good...
Every story needs a happy ending (no, not that kind).


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Photobomb of the Year

Awesome pic of a frog taking a selfie getting photobombed by the LADEE spacecraft...
Srsly.

"Ground control to Major Toad..."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cloudburst

Just waiting out the 1:15pm mini monsoon...

Captive Audience

C'mon... Just take a taste.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Man Hands

This woman has some nasty-looking hands.

Hon, get a manicure at least!



(Yes, I know... Jim Messina. /sarc /insult)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Self-Defense Techniques

I guess it was either that or oral?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

New Riding Gear

I see the Camp Borepatch has released their fall line of riding gear...


Does that jacket come in Men's sizes?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Hate Plecia Nearctica

Why am I a Hater?

Because the highways in Georgia are swarming with Lovebugs right now...



And coitus interruptus by motorcycle is messy.


(click picture to see the carnage up close)
This was the halfway point on my trip today- had to stop and clean my bike and faceplate... Had to do it all again when I arrived in Augusta.

This is also the reason that a full face helmet and a closed visor is preferred during lovebug season in Florida and Georgia...


(again- Click pic to be grossed out)

F the f'ing bugs... I hates 'em.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Lettuce Entertain You

(Guerilla Fundraising Assist. Cheapskates should exit now.) 

So... For your late weekend enjoyment, I present Darth Vader, in a kilt, playing a Star Wars medley on flaming bagpipes.




Now then... (you were warned...)
If you feel you've derived some amount of enjoyment from viewing this bit o' weirdness, please visit my man McThag here and kick in a buck or two to his KTKC effort. He's a bit down, and I hate to see a Constant Reader and fellow Florida blogger in despair...
(Unless I'm the cause of said despair. Then it's okay.)
He makes an excellent point about our favorite self-promoting Mass-hole dragging in gadjillions of rupees by only batting his eyes (and mustache) at the Intarwebz, leaving other fundraising participants in the digital dust...
SO- HBO, y'all.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Anger Management - The Burrito Edition

This dude has been driven to his breaking point...

(Source here)

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito:
Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layers lengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Ow.

+ 1 for perfect measurement on the string that is holding the Gatorade bottle...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Morning Commute - A Two-Fer

I got a nice double hit today on my Morning Commute Bingo Card-
BMW driver on Beach Blvd doing 45+, left hand out the window dangling a cigarette, right hand holding her phone to her ear.
(I'm assuming she was steering with her nipples...)

Man, if only she was applying makeup too, I could get the full Triple Threat marker!

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Irony, We Haz It

"Strap on"

Spelled backwards... Is... 

"No parts"

This sparked quite a conversation when the Perfect Child brought it up...

No one can say that life at the Estrogen Palace is dull.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Only Ones / Only in California

From our "You've gotta be shitting me" Department:

"A Lodi Police SWAT officer had a Glock 35 with a flashlight in his thigh holster at a children’s reading event when a boy managed to pull the trigger and shoot the officer."

“A small child, witnesses tell us was 6 to 8 years old, was able to walk up to the officer and was able to pull the trigger.”

Yikes! Talk about situational awareness.

And...Dontcha love that trigger safety on a Glock?

“It doesn’t have an external safety or anything like that,” said Lt. Sierra Brucia with the department. “The gun functioned how it was supposed to. When the trigger was pulled, the gun went off.”

And...
A "reading event" where they are showing off the SWAT Vehicle/Gear?
Or is this an indoctrination, to teach kids at a young age that police militarization of A-OK? (A long rant on this is forthcoming.)

And...
I thought schools were gun-free zones?
I guess the cop misunderstood the mandate from Feinstien and the Gun Grabbers when they said they needed another school shooting in order the get the Gun Control ball rolling again.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Points For Creativity

I'm gonna have to make a run to the thrift store for a shitload of old overshoes so I can make a whole gaggle of these beasties...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE