1 Week Later - Still Jet Lagged: 2:30 AM Thoughts

It's 2:30 in the morning.
I have a meeting at 9:00a and there is no possibility of sleep on the horizon...

And what am I thinking about in the dead of the night?

That the perfect crime has probably already been committed and no one will ever know about it.
Ever.



TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Kübler-Ross Would Be Appalled - The Five Stages of Blogging

5 stages- I haz it.
Especially after re-reading that last post. Gah.
______________________________________________________________

Denial
Upon seeing or experiencing some inanity or stupidity, the thought of "I cannot believe the AssHattery I am seeing here."

Anger
"This shit is so FUBAR I must blog about it! To the Keyboard!"

Bargaining
After several hundred keystrokes, a handful of Google searches, a wiki-wander or three, missing out on going to lunch with the new receptionist, and a deadline looming for getting that new contract done and submitted- you make promises:
"Just 2 more paragraphs. And a link to that picture on fark.com...
Then I'll get back to that proposal."

Depression
On first proofread:
"What the f... Did a third grader write this?
Nope- A third grader would have done a batter job.
Why do I even try? No one reads this shit anyway. Tam probably wrote about this weeks ago and probably did the job 10 times better."

Acceptance
Fuck it. (presses send)
Like I said- no one reads my shit anyway.
Who gives a shit. At least it's free ice cream.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Mistaken Identity - California Style

I'm just barely on the safe side of the San Andreas Fault this week...

(But I still wouldn't want to be here when it lets go...
It's going to be spectacular... But I want to see it from a distance, not from my window.)


I'm at The Olympic Club, working the Men's Amateur 4-Ball tournament for Fox and the USGA. Fun fun fun.
(For some reason, that logo reminds me of the Indy 500 or the Detroit Redwings... But I digress.)

One interesting thing is listening to people that reside here in Kalifornia-
My previous posting (LeftCoast and Redistribution) was an overheard conversation on the airplane on the way out here. It was tempting to kick open the door and have the idjits walk home from 36000 feet, but alas, that would get me talked about, so I suppressed the urge.

Today's 'WTF?' conversation was on the bus heading to the course at 5:00AM...
(Yes, Bus. No parking at the course, so I park and shuttle in with the volunteers.)

A couple Volunteers, an older retired man & wife were sitting behind me... they are obviously Not From Around Here.
We are taking the shuttle bus in from Westlake Park in Daly City.
These folks are big golf fans- and I guess they think the world is very golf-centric.

Old Woman: "We're in Daly City California... Isn't that nice?"
Old Man: "What's nice?"
OW: "They named this place for John Daly."
(The bus is driving down John Daly Boulevard...)
OW: "Must have been before he really let himself go..."
OM: "Maybe he was born here or something..."
TBG: *facepalm*

He's a nice guy and all, but how can you possibly think they'd name a city after him?

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Where's Your Grammar?

TBG - ΜΟLTeΝ LAΛΑ

I don't Think That T-Shirt Means What You Think It Means - Shanghai Edition

Wow.


That's about all I got.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

An Old One, But a Good One...

...especially for these times.

A Message to Garcia

By Elbert Hubbard - 1899

In all this Cuban business there is one man stands out on the horizon of my memory like Mars at perihelion. When war broke out between Spain & the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia was somewhere in the mountain vastness of Cuba- no one knew where. No mail nor telegraph message could reach him. The President must secure his cooperation, and quickly.

What to do!
Some one said to the President, "There’s a fellow by the name of Rowan will find Garcia for you, if anybody can."
Rowan was sent for and given a letter to be delivered to Garcia. How "the fellow by the name of Rowan" took the letter, sealed it up in an oil-skin pouch, strapped it over his heart, in four days landed by night off the coast of Cuba from an open boat, disappeared into the jungle, & in three weeks came out on the other side of the Island, having traversed a hostile country on foot, and delivered his letter to Garcia, are things I have no special desire now to tell in detail.

The point I wish to make is this: McKinley gave Rowan a letter to be delivered to Garcia; Rowan took the letter and did not ask, "Where is he at?" By the Eternal! there is a man whose form should be cast in deathless bronze and the statue placed in every college of the land. It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this and that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies: do the thing- "Carry a message to Garcia!"

General Garcia is dead now, but there are other Garcias.
No man, who has endeavored to carry out an enterprise where many hands were needed, but has been well nigh appalled at times by the imbecility of the average man- the inability or unwillingness to concentrate on a thing and do it. Slip-shod assistance, foolish inattention, dowdy indifference, & half-hearted work seem the rule; and no man succeeds, unless by hook or crook, or threat, he forces or bribes other men to assist him; or mayhap, God in His goodness performs a miracle, & sends him an Angel of Light for an assistant. You, reader, put this matter to a test: You are sitting now in your office- six clerks are within call.
Summon any one and make this request: "Please look in the encyclopedia and make a brief memorandum for me concerning the life of Correggio".
Will the clerk quietly say, "Yes, sir," and go do the task?
On your life, he will not. He will look at you out of a fishy eye and ask one or more of the following questions:
Who was he?
Which encyclopedia?
Where is the encyclopedia?
Was I hired for that?
Don’t you mean Bismarck?
What’s the matter with Charlie doing it?
Is he dead?
Is there any hurry?
Shan’t I bring you the book and let you look it up yourself?
What do you want to know for?
And I will lay you ten to one that after you have answered the questions, and explained how to find the information, and why you want it, the clerk will go off and get one of the other clerks to help him try to find Garcia- and then come back and tell you there is no such man. Of course I may lose my bet, but according to the Law of Average, I will not.
Now if you are wise you will not bother to explain to your "assistant" that Correggio is indexed under the C’s, not in the K’s, but you will smile sweetly and say, "Never mind," and go look it up yourself.

And this incapacity for independent action, this moral stupidity, this infirmity of the will, this unwillingness to cheerfully catch hold and lift, are the things that put pure Socialism so far into the future. If men will not act for themselves, what will they do when the benefit of their effort is for all? A first-mate with knotted club seems necessary; and the dread of getting "the bounce" Saturday night, holds many a worker to his place.
Advertise for a stenographer, and nine out of ten who apply, can neither spell nor punctuate- and do not think it necessary to.
Can such a one write a letter to Garcia?

"You see that bookkeeper," said the foreman to me in a large factory.
"Yes, what about him?"
"Well he’s a fine accountant, but if I’d send him up town on an errand, he might accomplish the errand all right, and on the other hand, might stop at four saloons on the way, and when he got to Main Street, would forget what he had been sent for."
Can such a man be entrusted to carry a message to Garcia?

We have recently been hearing much maudlin sympathy expressed for the "downtrodden denizen of the sweat-shop" and the "homeless wanderer searching for honest employment," & with it all often go many hard words for the men in power.

Nothing is said about the employer who grows old before his time in a vain attempt to get frowsy ne’er-do-wells to do intelligent work; and his long patient striving with "help" that does nothing but loaf when his back is turned. In every store and factory there is a constant weeding-out process going on. The employer is constantly sending away "help" that have shown their incapacity to further the interests of the business, and others are being taken on. No matter how good times are, this sorting continues, only if times are hard and work is scarce, the sorting is done finer- but out and forever out, the incompetent and unworthy go.
It is the survival of the fittest. Self-interest prompts every employer to keep the best- those who can carry a message to Garcia.

I know one man of really brilliant parts who has not the ability to manage a business of his own, and yet who is absolutely worthless to any one else, because he carries with him constantly the insane suspicion that his employer is oppressing, or intending to oppress him. He cannot give orders; and he will not receive them. Should a message be given him to take to Garcia, his answer would probably be, "Take it yourself."
Tonight this man walks the streets looking for work, the wind whistling through his threadbare coat. No one who knows him dare employ him, for he is a regular fire-brand of discontent. He is impervious to reason, and the only thing that can impress him is the toe of a thick-soled No. 9 boot.

Of course I know that one so morally deformed is no less to be pitied than a physical cripple; but in our pitying, let us drop a tear, too, for the men who are striving to carry on a great enterprise, whose working hours are not limited by the whistle, and whose hair is fast turning white through the struggle to hold in line dowdy indifference, slip-shod imbecility, and the heartless ingratitude, which, but for their enterprise, would be both hungry & homeless.

Have I put the matter too strongly? Possibly I have; but when all the world has gone a-slumming I wish to speak a word of sympathy for the man who succeeds- the man who, against great odds has directed the efforts of others, and having succeeded, finds there’s nothing in it: nothing but bare board and clothes.

I have carried a dinner pail & worked for day’s wages, and I have also been an employer of labor, and I know there is something to be said on both sides. There is no excellence, per se, in poverty; rags are no recommendation; & all employers are not rapacious and high-handed, any more than all poor men are virtuous.

My heart goes out to the man who does his work when the "boss" is away, as well as when he is at home. And the man who, when given a letter for Garcia, quietly take the missive, without asking any idiotic questions, and with no lurking intention of chucking it into the nearest sewer, or of doing aught else but deliver it, never gets "laid off," nor has to go on a strike for higher wages. Civilization is one long anxious search for just such individuals. Anything such a man asks shall be granted; his kind is so rare that no employer can afford to let him go. He is wanted in every city, town and village- in every office, shop, store and factory.
The world cries out for such: he is needed, & needed badly- the man who can carry a message to Garcia.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Need Help With Your Paperwork?

Here are some nice forms for you...

I particularly like the Formal Apology.
I use it quite often.
(Double Click for bigness)















TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Quick Hits - 7/4/2014

Too many times I let thoughts go unblogged because it takes too much time to write up all the background and embed links to the source data.

No more- 

I'm going to start doing quick notes, forgoing some of the embellishments, in hopes of getting more content up on the 'blog; Quantity & Brevity over Infrequency & Verbosity.

Lets see how it works...

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Happy Fourth of July, America.

Lots of the Really Cool Kids are expounding on the Declaration of Independence and the current Criminal-in-Chief in the oval office.

After a short perusal of headlines and reflecting on the shit ton of scandals by the administration, I can only think: "What the fuck happened?"

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No Faith in White House Statistics

Sadly, I have reached the point that if a spokesman for the current administration came out and said the "The sky is blue." I would walk outside expecting any other color from the Crayola box except blue.

Hence- when I hear the WH crowing over dropping unemployment percentages, and the Progressive faithful carrying the buckets of putrid water, I just wonder how they are cooking their figures.

I KNOW they're lying, I'm just not motivated enough to research it... 

(Hint: If you give up looking for a job, you're no longer unemployed.)

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Major home improvements have been underway at the Humble Abode.

A new roof- the old one was 18+ years old.

A mishap with a unbonded lawn maintenance guy trimming a tree necessitated repairs.

(Lesson learned.)

One more repair has been needed for years- new kitchen counters.

We shopped, bargained and did a lot of our own work...

Old stuff

Ready for new stuff, black lab included for scale.

New counters in, new tile installed, new electrical & plates.

TWWKMT working on caulking the counter & backsplash.

Sweet caulk lines!

We finished plumbing the sink last night...

It came out pretty good.

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Next project-

New fairings for FJR.

Can't ride in the rain due to the missing fender, and the gaffer's tape is holding all the cracked pieces together. 

I ordered a new fairing kit from a plastics company in Guangzhou...

It will be in red and silver... This blue was nice too, but domestic tranquility trumps aesthetics.

Quite the jigsaw puzzle for me to work on when it arrives in mid-July.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

More later

TBG

Jargon, Hacker and Otherwise

The Perfect Child is home from school for the summer - She's working toward her degree in an obscure offshoot of the medical services field that has hooks in the CDC/DHS/Emergency Services industry.

Most of her studies have revolved around hospital operations and control/containment issues, and given that we both posses a somewhat macabre sense of humor, we have lots of fun playing 'What If?' games centering around disaster scenarios. I know- morbid and creepifying.


I have a penchant for etymology and time wasters, evidenced by the fact that I have long possessed a bound hardcopy of the Jargon File (a link to the soft copy can be found over at Borepatch's site here...). Knowing my interest in things of this nature, the PC sent me the following list of terms, which I figured I'd share with you Constant Readers.
(Caution: some terms may be considered extremely tasteless or crass. If you are easily offended, I suggest clicking THIS link instead of reading further.)

Anaerobe: a term borrowed from bacteriology used to refer to a patient with chronically poor lung function whose blood oxygen levels seem too low to be compatible with life, yet who seems to function normally nonetheless.

A.R.T: Assuming room temperature. A recently deceased patient.

Banana bag: an intravenous solution containing a liquid multivitamin that colors the fluid a bright yellow, used in undernourished or alcoholic patients.

Beans: kidneys. "Better watch that Gentamycin level — you don't want to fry her beans."

Bed plug: a low-maintenance patient occupying a bed that might otherwise be filled with a more difficult case.

Bright lights: surgery (also, "bright lights and cold steel"). "The meds aren't doing squat — sounds like this guy needs some bright lights."

C.T.D: Circling the drain. Description of a patient who is slowly deteriorating and likely to die.

Code brown: bowel incontinence that can be smelled throughout the ward. "Code brown on 3 East — better take the back stairs."

C.T.S.: Cut all to shreds. E.R. lingo for victims with multiple lacerations, usually MVAs with through-the-windshield trauma.

Deceleration Trauma: The patient/victim has jumped/fallen/been thrown from from a high location and impacted the ground with high delta-V.
"It's not the fall that kills you, it's the sudden deceleration trauma immediately thereafter."  (See also: Terminal Deceleration Syndrome)

Ditzel: a small, unidentified mass seen on an X-ray, usually benign by implication. "The CAT scan was fine except for a vague ditzel in the parietal lobe, probably a calcium deposit." (See also goombah.)

D.N.R.: do not resuscitate. Instructions allowing a patient to die undisturbed in the event of a sudden catastrophic event; no C.P.R., no respirator, no electric shocks.

Doc-in-the-box: an urgent-care walk-in clinic. "He's moonlighting at a doc-in-the-box downtown."

D.R.T: Dead Right There. Usually the recipient of some type of trauma (GSW, MVA) where the victim has succumbed and is A.R.T. prior to the arrival of the EMTs

Fascinoma: a very unusual or fascinating case. "They're presenting the fascinoma from 4 East at grand rounds this morning."

F/C/S/N/V/HA/C.P.: fever, chills, sweats, nausea, vomiting, headache, chest pain. A list of symptoms so commonly checked off in questioning that the savvy resident can "name that tune" with only one or two letters.

F.D.G.B: Fall Down, Go Boom - Patient (usually a child) in N.A.D. with an overly protective/concerned parent, arriving at the E.R. after a household fall.

Fleas: Internists, because of their constant attention to the minutiae of daily patient care. In a less complimentary light, as a patient's death becomes imminent, the consulting specialists will often sign off the case, which internists, as primary care doctors, are unable to do. So internists resemble fleas, which are — as the saying has it — "the last ones to jump off a dying dog."

Gomer: shorthand for "Get out of my emergency room." Any undesirable patient, usually one that is unkempt, demented, combative or any combination of the above. (The phrase is now sharply discouraged due to a new sensitivity to the image of doctors, in reaction to the uncaring image presented by H.M.O.'s.)

Goombah: a large unidentified mass seen on an X-ray, usually implied to be malignant. "He's got some kind of goombah in the left upper lobe on his chest film." (See also ditzel.)

GSW: Gun Shot Wound

Heme: blood, often used as a euphemism in the presence of conscious patients to avoid upsetting them. "A little suction, nurse. I'm getting a little heme at the biopsy site."

HIBGIA: "Had it before, got it again." Serial E.R. customers.

Hit: a new patient. "Better grab some dinner quick — we've got three hits coming up from the E.R."

Incidentaloma: an incidental finding noted on a radiograph performed for an unrelated purpose. "The M.R.I. of the C-spine was normal except for an incidentaloma in the thyroid."

I's and O's: intake and output — a daily count of the patient's total fluid intake and measurable output (urine, blood, wound drainage, etc.). An accurate tally allows assessment of the patient's hydration status.

K: the chemical symbol for potassium. "Mrs. Zilka's K was pretty low this morning — better give her a dose of K-phos."

L.O.L.: little old lady. (Oddly, there is no male equivalent.)

Lead Poisoning: Usually a victim of a GSW.

M.V.A.: Motor Vehicle Accident

N.A.D.: no apparent distress. The classic description of a patient in a state of well-being: "L.O.L. in N.A.D."

Neuron: neurologist. "Better get an M.R.I. before you get that neuro consult — the neurons don't go to the bathroom without seeing an M.R.I. first."

O sign: a persistently open mouth, as seen on a mouth-breathing sleeping patient, or on a demented conscious patient. "He's resting comfortably; positive O sign." (See also Q sign.)

O.C.: obsessive-compulsive. "Dr. Heller gets pretty O.C. about checking I's and O's on his patients."

PBS: Pretty Bad Shape - Kind of self-explanatory.

Pimp: to test the medical knowledge of an underling, usually in a public and unexpected manner. "The chief made rounds with us this morning, and I got pimped wicked about hepatitis."

Pleasantly demented: a standard description of a patient who, though deep in the throes of senility, can carry on an appropriate conversation and occasionally give the impression of having perfect mental capacity.

Q sign: an open mouth with a tongue dangling from it. "Looks like Mr. O'Reilly's not going to need his sleeping pills tonight — he's already got a positive Q sign showing." (See also O sign.)

Rock: a very stable patient, often used at sign-out, when one physician is turning over care to another. "Mr. Green on 3 South just had a hernia repair — nothing to do there, he's a rock."

Scut puppy: an underling, usually a third-year medical student, assigned to perform menial tasks like drawing blood and retrieving lab results.

Snake: to perform a procedure involving insertion of a fiber-optic scope into a body orifice; also, the instrument itself. "Mrs. Goldstein's ulcer seems to be acting up — we better snake her and take a look."

S.O.B: shortness of breath. "Mr. Hanson complains of three weeks of intermittent C.P. accompanied by S.O.B."

Tail-light sign: when a patient (usually elderly) is dropped off at an emergency room by relatives who drive away before an evaluation is complete, forcing the patient to be admitted to the hospital whether or not his medical condition requires it.

Terminal Deceleration Syndrome: Usually a victim of a MVA or Motorcycle accident.

Train wreck: a patient with multiple medical problems. "Dr. Jacobs can't come down right now — he's tied up with a train wreck in the E.R."

Veteran (variant: veteranoid): a grizzled, elderly patient, usually male, who has great forbearance with testing and readily agrees to any procedures that are advised; reminiscent of the type of patient normally found in a V.A. hospital.

Wallet biopsy: checking a patient's insurance or financial status before embarking on expensive procedures. "They were going to keep her a couple more days, but the wallet biopsy showed she could be treated at home instead."

W.N.L.: within normal limits, as in a lab or X- ray result; or, alternatively, "We Never Looked."

W.N./W.D.: well-nourished and well-developed. Standard opening shorthand in any physical examination: `W.N./W.D. female in N.A.D."

Zebra: an outlandish or unlikely diagnosis. A medical school aphorism holds, "If you're walking down Fifth Avenue and you hear hoofbeats, you think of horses, not zebras," meaning that a common diagnosis is more likely to be correct than a rare one.

- Most references by SHEILENDR KHIPPLE

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Your Mind Is In The Gutter

Bed Load
Solid particles, like the pebbles in a stream, that are carried along by flowing water.

Titbits
The British spelling for the word “tidbits.” Tit-Bits was the name of of a British weekly magazine published from 1881 to 1984.

Loose Smutt
A fungus that attacks wheat crops.

Oxpecker
A small bird native to sub-Saharan Africa. Also known as tick birds, they eat parasites that infest the hides of livestock.

Dick Test
If your doctor suspects you have scarlet fever, you may be given this diagnostic test invented by Dr. George Dick and his wife Gladys in 1924.

Vaginicola
 A singled-celled organism found in pond water.

Crack Spread
The difference in value between unrefined crude oil and the products that can be made by refining, or “cracking” the oil.

F-holes
The f-shaped sound holes cut into the front of violins, cellos, and other stringed instruments.

Rump Party
In British politics, when one faction of a political party breaks away to merge with or form a new party, the faction left behind is known as the “rump party.”

Urinator
A person who dives underwater in search of pearls, sunken treasure, or other riches.

Spermophile
A genus, or grouping of more than 20 species of ground squirrel.

Crap Mats
The name of a mountain in the Swiss Alps.

Fucoid
An adjective that means “having to do with seaweed.”

Fucose
A type of sugar found in human breast milk and in seaweed.

Titubate
To stumble, either in step or in speech.

Dickcissel
A species of finch native to the U.S.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Who Do YOU Love?

Expanding your vocabulary
-or-
What's your fetish, ya sick bastard?

The Perfect Child is in the midst of her summer semester courses, one of which is the task of memorizing 1000 medical terms.
We were going over some of her terms and at some point we started discussing latin and Greek roots of words especially in the medical profession and eventually the term 'necro" came up, and noting the different applications regarding dead stuff.
Necropsy, Necrotic, Necromancy, and of course- Necrophilia.
.

Much to TWWKMT's disapproval, I of course steer the conversation to Tom Lerher's bon mot from "An Evening Wasted":

"I particularly remember a heartwarming novel of his about a young necrophiliac who finally achieved his boyhood ambition by becoming coroner. ... (The rest of you can look it up when you get home.)"

Then I capped it off with one of my favorites about how a necrophiliac is someone that most people wouldn't want to be caught dead with.
Heh.
By this time TWWKMT is glaring daggers at me...

But in Interweb stumble I found the following list that ought to come in handy for some of you sickos Constant Readers. See if you recognize yourself or someone you might know in here:


Abasiophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) people who use leg braces or other orthopedic appliances
Acousticophilia: sexual arousal from certain sounds
Acrotomophilia: love of (or sexual attraction to) amputees
Agalmatophilia: sexual attraction to statues or mannequins or immobility
Algolagnia: sexual pleasure from pain
Amaurophilia: sexual arousal by a partner whom one is unable to see due to artificial means, such as being blindfolded or having sex in total darkness. (See: sensory deprivation)
Andromimetophilia: love of women dressed as men
Apodysophilia: desire to undress, see also nudism
Apotemnophilia: desire to have (or sexual arousal from having) a healthy appendage (limb, digit, or male genitals) amputated
Aquaphilia: arousal from water and/or in watery environments, including bathtubs or swimming pools
Aretifism: sexual attraction to people who are without footwear, in contrast to retifism
Asphyxiophilia: sexual attraction to asphyxia; also called breath control play; including autoerotic asphyxiation; see medical warnings
Autogynephilia: love of oneself as a woman (also see Blanchard, Bailey, and Lawrence theory for discussion on controversy)
Biastophilia: sexual pleasure from committing rape
Celebriphilia: pathological desire to have sex with a celebrity.
Coprophilia: sexual attraction to (or pleasure from) feces
Crush fetish: sexual arousal from seeing small creatures being crushed by members of the opposite sex, or being crushed oneself
Dacryphilia: sexual pleasure in eliciting tears from others or oneself
Dendrophilia: sexual attraction to trees and other large plants, popularized by the movie “Superstar” with Molly Shannon
Diaper fetishism: sexual arousal from diapers
Emetophilia (a.k.a. vomerophilia): sexual attraction to vomit
Ephebophilia (a.k.a. hebephilia): sexual attraction towards adolescents
Eproctophilia: sexual attraction to flatulence
Exhibitionism: sexual arousal through sexual behavior in view of third parties (also includes the recurrent urge or behavior to expose one’s genitals to an unsuspecting person, known as indecent exposure)
Faunoiphilia: sexual arousal from watching animals mate
Fetishism: is the use of non-sexual or nonliving objects or part of a person’s body to gain sexual excitement. Examples include:
balloon fetishism — breast fetishism — foot fetishism (podophilia) — fur fetishism — leather fetishism — lipstick fetishism — medical fetishism — panty fetishism — robot fetishism — rubber fetishism — shoe fetishism — smoking fetishism — spandex fetishism — dental braces fetishism — transvestic fetishism (see below)
Frotteurism: sexual arousal from the recurrent urge or behavior of touching or rubbing against a nonconsenting person
Gerontophilia: sexual attraction towards the elderly
Hematophilia: sexual attraction involving blood (either on a sex partner/attractive person or the liquid itself; not to be confused with haemophilia, a genetic disorder of the blood)
Harpaxophilia: sexual arousal from being the victim of a robbery or burglary
Hematolagnia: sexual attraction to blood
Hybristophilia: sexual arousal to people who have committed crimes, in particular cruel or outrageous crimes
Infantilism: sexual pleasure from dressing, acting, or being treated as a baby
Katoptronophilia: sexual arousal from having sex in front of mirrors.
Klismaphilia: sexual pleasure from enemas
Lust murder: sexual arousal through committing murder
Macrophilia: sexual attraction to larger people and large things (including larger body organs such as breasts and genitalia)
Maiesiophilia: sexual attraction to childbirth or pregnant women
Masochism: is the recurrent urge or behavior of wanting to be humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer
Microphilia: sexual attraction to smaller people and things of smaller size
Mysophilia: sexual attraction to soiled, dirty, foul or decaying material
Necrophilia: sexual attraction to corpses
Necrozoophilia: sexual attraction to the corpses or killings of animals (also known as necrobestiality)
Nepiophilia: the same as infantophilia sexual attraction to children between the age of 0 - 3 yrs.
Pedophilia: sexual attraction to prepubescent children (British spelling: paedophilia)
Phalloorchoalgolagnia: sexual arousal by the experiencing of painful stimuli being administered to the male genitals.
Pictophilia: sexual attraction to pictorial pornography/erotic art
Plushophilia: sexual attraction to stuffed toys or people in animal costume, such as theme park characters
Pyrophilia: sexual arousal through watching, setting, hearing/talking/fantasizing about fire
Retifism: sexual arousal from shoes
Sadism: sexual arousal from giving pain
Schediaphilia (aka Toonophilia): love (or sexual arousal) to cartoon characters/situations
Sitophilia: sexual arousal from food
Somnophilia: sexual arousal from sleeping or unconscious people
Spectrophilia: sexual attraction to ghosts
Telephone scatologia: being sexually aroused by making obscene telephone calls
Teratophilia: sexual attraction to deformed or monstrous people
Transformation fetish: sexual arousal from depictions of transformations of people into objects or other beings
Transvestic fetishism: is a sexual attraction towards the clothing of the opposite gender (also known as transvestitism)
Trichophilia: love (or sexual arousal) from hair
Urolagnia: sexual attraction to urine
Vorarephilia: sexual attraction to being eaten by, and/or eating, another person or creature
Voyeurism: sexual arousal through watching others having sex (also includes the recurrent urge or behavior to observe an unsuspecting person who is naked, disrobing or engaging in sexual activities, see peeping tom)
Xenophilia: sexual attraction to foreigners (in science fiction, can also mean sexual attraction to aliens)
Zoophilia: emotional or sexual attraction to animals
Zoosadism: the sexual enjoyment of causing pain and suffering to animals

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

You Keep Using That Word...

I don't think it means what you think it means.
Friday Conference Call Puzzler
We were on a call discussing a new project phase that in several cities will require extending fiber-optic connectivity from one location to another spot in the facility.
As a rule it would only be a extension of 10 to 30 meters.

Random participant:
"Do we know how many locations need extensions to the fiber?
We could make up some tactical fiber segments in generic lengths and have them available to the install teams."

I missed the next 2 minutes of the call as I was thinking of how a set of  rails, a collapsible stock, a red dot sight and maybe a flash suppressor installed on a 25m coil of six-strand singlemode fiber would make installing our hardware easier...
TBG