Showing posts with label Out of Context. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Out of Context. Show all posts

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Stereotypes

And I ain't talking Marantz vs Kenwood, either.

I've had the idea for a post scurrying around in the wide open spaces found twixt my ears for a couple weeks.
Problem is, I can't put it to words and post it as it could be considered, if taken without proper context, as be quite raaaacist.

I can give you the gist- I was in Shanghai and this year the traffic, especially the large numbers of near-accidents and offensive driving incidents was markedly higher than in previous years.
It's not hard to imagine why- think of the worst stereotype about Asian drivers in the US, then imagine driving in a place that was populated by ONLY these kind of drivers.
All the time.
And if you carry the stereotype of Asian drivers to the next quantum level, segregating by gender,it is no surprise which sex gets the nod as being worst than the other.
And by obvious extrapolation, half of the total drivers in Shanghai are the stereotypically worst type.

(I hope I have been sufficiently vague-but-obvious...If not, ring me up and we'll chat.)

So I have been noodling that for a good bit...
But today/tonite's flight has been quite an eye opener, stereotype-wise.

I have been on several airlines that are geared to one nationality or another over the course of my job...
US Carriers that cater to bacon-eating, gun owning, loud, fat, ugly Americans such as Yours Truly...
I was on JAL - a carrier that tailors their passenger jets in a configuration lat enables them to stuff 4 or 5 salarymen into a space that would normally fit one of the afore-mentioned bacon-eating Americans...
(And let me tell you, that was a miserable center-seat nightmare.)
And I was on the ANA flight a few weeks back in a center seat built for Taiwanese nationals. And it was pure joy, if you will recall...

But tonight... Wow. UAE-based Etihad Airlines.

I have never been looked at with such smouldering animosity for 20 hours...
Both on the plane and here in the terminal waiting for my next hop to Kuala Lumpur.
On the whole trip, in line to board, one the flight itself, getting off in Abu Dhabi, hanging out in teh terminal...

I thought I might have had one of CJ's "Pork-Eating Infidel" t-shirts on for the number of hateful looks I was getting just for being a 'Murican on a Middle East flag carrier.

Really- from the looks I'm getting you'd think I was walking around with a paintbrush and a 5 gallon bucket of pig fat, anointing all flat surfaces I come in contact with...

And that is not the worst of it- I have found an out-of-the-way spot to kill the 6.5 hour layover and do my favorite thing- people watch - and man, it's quite entertaining.

I thought I was the only one getting the looks-that-could-kill-if-I-had-a-block-of-C4-and-a-kindergartener-to-tape-it-to...
Oh no- any Westerner here gets a "fuck you infidel pig" treatment- and the worst recipients - any Western woman- and the more attractive, the nastier the looks and reactions.
You can practically read the minds of the typical Middle Eastern male:
"Western whore! How dare you dress like that to tempt and titillate me! Get out of my presence, but hey- Abdul- check out her cleavage before she goes..."

Fuck this entire place.
Cannot wait to get outta here.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

SpeedSkating Chat Goes Horribly Wrong

Overheard on Skype

(Skype chatting with SGK at Speedskating - The Nederlanders are kicking ass at the Adler Arena. SGK is running the Graphics control and I'm watching the feeds back in the IBC, and making fun of the proceedings.)

Yours Truly: Goooo to the Start..... Ready.....   Bang!
                      Holy crap, they shot him!!
SGK: They Killed Kenny!!!!!!

YT: Go...to...da..strt...ready...bang

SGK: Wish they would shoot something. Make it more exciting.

YT: Someone needs to shoot those bastards with the horns...

YT: honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk!     honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! honk!

SGK: Hey they got nothing else to do.

SGK: They could shoot the horn, it would make a big boom.

YT: honk! honk! honk! honk! honk! BANG! Hgnkghc....(Thud)

SGK: Nice

SGK: Go NEDs

YT: They are the orange people.

SGK: Yes they are.

SGK: NEDs take it again.

SGK: Go House of Orange

YT: Of course. That's all they f'ing do in Ned Land.  Skate fast and smoke dope.

SGK: Well, what else is there to do there,  grow tulips?

SGK: Stand around with their fingers in a dyke?

YT: ...fingers in a dyke...

SGK: yes I know your head exploded
YT: Because there is a difference between a Dike and a Dyke.

SGK: I hit enter and cringed when I read it
SGK:Ok a wall that holds water back then

YT: I like the other kind better.

SGK: You would

YT: Well... How entertaining is a guy standing around with his finger stuck in a hole in the wall?
The other is much more entertaining, since she would probably not be too happy about the whole situation. Might be some shouting, or perhaps bloodshed.

SGK: A new Olympics sport is born

YT: Hmm. Scoring might be a little complicated.
SGK: Wonder if it would be timed or judged

YT: I'm blogging the crap outta this.


If 'they' are monitoring Skype I guess I'll be getting my ticket punched early.
Yay.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Belated Olympic Content



IDS Oly Staff on arrival at the IBC one morning:
"Saw the sign on the main entry door. My first thought was 'What the hell did TBG do now?'"

Yours Truly:
"The Pre-Crime Unit knows how much St.Ass is pissing me off and they are just getting ready."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Listen Up...

I have a propensity for using comparatives when speaking...
One of my favorites I picked up years ago at The Masters. I had an opportunity to use it here in London this morning.
Unfortunately I used it on St.Ass, and due to the twin-threat of my mumbling, and his English-as-a-second language, the exchange wasn't a clean of it might have been.

St.Ass (in thick Russian accent) "...so zhey arrre now serrrving zhe wonderrrful brrrreakfast at zhe commissarry."

Yours Truly: "Awesome. I'm on it like a rat on a cheeto."

(Very puzzled look from St.Ass)

SA: "Zhe rrrat on zhe what?"

YT: "A. Rat. On. A. Cheeto. You know- little yellow cheese puff?"

SA: "Ah! Cheeto. I zhought you cheeta. You know - big cat. I din't understand."

YT: (Trying to envision a rat on a cheetah, and how that would work out...Which devolved into a strange tableau involving Mickey and Chester Cheetah. Don't judge me.)

YT: "Uh... No. Cheeto. Not cheetah."

I walk out, still getting funny looks from St.Ass.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, February 25, 2011

Out of Context - IT Trailer-Style

"You better watch out or I'm going to pull a Woody on you..."
- Constant Reader Luc, threatening stage a mutiny in the IT Trailer.

Again, ewww.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Out of Context - Boston

Sitting at a table in a pizza joint across from TD Garden in Boston...

BL:  "I'd like to see you go to the bathroom."
TBG: "Whoa there, big fella!"
BiF: "Check please!"
BL: "Wait..that's not what I meant!"


Sure... That's always the way it starts...
And it usually ends with me in a holding cell, half-blind from pepper spray.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Quote of the day - 6/19

While watching the US Open...

"Boy they have it really trimmed well.. this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

Yikes

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Out of Context - Random Conversations

I was talking to Democrat Dog last night...

Yours Truly:
"You ignorant dumbass liberal, we're trying to save America and our Way of Life!"

Democrat Dog:
"You dumbass ignorant conservative, we're trying to save Humanity and The World!"

I guess you're saving the world when you provide entitlements and useless social programs that throw good money after bad...but not when you are trying to build a strong economic base that provides jobs and national revenue, or getting rid of a dictator who committed genocide against his own people, was a threat to the US and all our allies...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, February 09, 2009

Quote out of Context- PHX

Satan David (to Rios): "You know that if you had a chance for a sixth digit, you'd go for it."

Yeah...wait. What?

TBG

Monday, January 12, 2009

Out of Context - New Video Wall Structure

Jingles: "You want to keep your nuts on the outside."

Well... Of course you do...

TBG, nuts out.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Out of Context

Perfect Child: "Just put some cheese on that thang and leave it alone."

Huh?

TBG

Saturday, December 13, 2008

(Not) Out of Context

(During dinner, no less...)
Jeff: Innocuous comment regarding Zack playing a skin-flute.
Amanda: (Sarcastically) "What's a skin flute?"
Glyn: "Do you want me to show you or just tell you?"
(Long incredulous pause...)
Amanda: "Wow. *You* are a charmer..."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Out of Context - DRTO

Amanda: "Zack is the who should have gone to bed with bloody knees."

Man, what did I miss last night?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Out of Context - Yankee Freedom

Tortugas Jack:
"Strrrrroke! Strrrrrroke! Strrrrrroke!"

Lord, its gonna be a long ride.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Out of Context 2AM in Homestead FL

At an Exxon station in Homestead @ 2:30 am

"Don't question my spelling..."



Mr. Bad Aptitude - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, November 17, 2008

Out of Context, departure eve.

LSD: "I don't know your ratio... I like to make it stiff."

I'm sure you do, Sugar.

TBG, interested.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Out of Context- TMC Day 7


Today's out-of-context remarks are courtesy of an overcrowded S-320 Mercedes, and a naïve Concordia student...

Kristin:
"He's hot and he's making me sweat."

"By the time we get to the site my leg will be all wet again."

Jeebus, I'm riding with a bunch of pervs.

TBG, riding shotgun.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Yet Another...

Neal: You just squirted cheese out of your sausage onto her jacket!

TBG, ewww!

More Out of Context @ Tennis Masters Cup

Kristin: "Can you stop moving half my butt please?"

Judith "I want the straight hair and not very sticky."

From two days ago:
"Oh Jeebus. Andy has dick hanging over the side of his bench."
"I wonder if we should hide the dick?"

TBG, the fun never stops.

Mercedes Benz Out of Context

(Spoken with deep Croatian accent)
Deni: "Now I am having the hot ass and the cold ass at the same time. So good."

TBG, watching my ass.