Fearmongering For Rio - Gizmodo Amps Up "ZOMG Olympics R Gonna Die!"

So, a Gizmodo writer (Sophie Kleeman) posts a bunch of "very recently" taken pics (all photos by AP) as representative of the entire city of Rio...
Her story HERE.

Now, I spent 6 hours in various locations around Rio yesterday- in Maracanã Norte, Centro, Copacabana, Ipanema, and down in Barra de Tijuca and lots of small roads and highways in between. I saw shitloads of bad drivers, but the only guns I saw were (probably) full-auto carbines being held at ready by the policia, the federal policia, and other uniformed security personnel. And man, I saw a lot of them.





Now, the pics from the article- My first impression is that the people in the pics have some awesome trigger discipline. Better than most of the folks at my home range, and probably most of the cops in the US. But that's just a first impression.

The other takeaway is that the author seems to think this activity/culture is endemic of Rio.
As I have said before many times- if you show me a horrific picture taken in (name of Olympic Host City), I'll bet you dollars to donuts that I can find similar vignettes in any large US city.

Don't believe the hype, y'all...
Remember 'If it bleeds, it leads' and the Media will do everything they can to get your clicks.
Take it all with a grain of salt.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Another Day, Another Flight

Yay. Air Travel.
Again.

I think OldNFO published this pic a while back... That this could happen scares the bejeebers out of me. It's one (of many) reasons that I don't sit in window seats, and if for some reason I DO wind up in a window seat I never look out the window.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Where The Hell Is That 'Unsee' Button?

I mean, I like cats, and would like to have one again some day, but dude! Never mind!



Nononono!


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

O. M. F. G. ! ! ! 1 !

Holy crap on a cracker!

Yesterday afternoon I was told the absolutely worst, dirtiest, most offensive joke I have ever heard...
And I am still getting goosebumps and throwing up in my mouth a little bit every time it comes back into my near- conscious memory...Jeebus!

Great googly moogly!

It is a joke that offends everyone... Men, women, animals, straights, gays, across all ethnic strata...

And the awful truth is that I cannot share this joke- it is far too offensive to publish.

Oh my God!

SGK came over from Athletics yesterday afternoon.
SGK: "One of the cameramen at the stadium just told me the worst joke I've ever heard."
Yours Truly: "Really? Wow. I've gotta hear it."
SGK: "No way. It's waaaay too bad."
YT: "Oh come on... I'm the one that tells the 'scream twice' and the dolphin joke. I can take it."
SGK: "Nope, it is far far worse than anything you can imagine."

At this point I wish I had let it drop... Instead I wheedled and cajoled her into telling it. What a huge mistake!
I immediately vomited all over the floor and blood started coming from my eyes...

I really don't know what to do... Looks like I'll be looking for a bottle of Havana Club Rum to try to do a hard reset on my brain tonight...

Oh God.... Here it comes again.... Hgrbgalgrbhgalglhblegghragh!

--- UPDATE 19:45 GDT ---

To the callers, texters and emailers...
No. Seriously.
I can't tell you.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Letters to People Unlikely to Respond - Part 2.3+10E6

Dear Hipster w/ Hornrims, 2 Vassar Sorority Girls, 3 local carpenters, the gaggle of lost interns trying to find the Starbucks, Motorpool drivers debating the best route to North Greenwich Arena, and the self-important celebrity talking head and his toady, and all the rest of you motherfuckers that I have been dodging all day:

I know you haven't seen each other since Vancouver or Beijing , (or that kegger at Sigma Tau) and you need to get caught up. And I understand the importance of finding a consensus on the best route through traffic. And it's a gorram shame you can't read the frakking signs that will direct you to the fershluggener commissary, and yes, it is amazing all the crap that goes into this kind of production - will you look at these fukkin' yanks? And I'm sure you absolutely have to talk to your dope dealer / dog walker/ Call-of-Duty-Homeboy / Hairstylist / caterer on your mobile phone and you are unable to walk and talk at the same time...
So... GET OUT OF THE FUCKING MIDDLE OF THE MAIN GODDAMN HALLWAY TO DO whatever it is that you need to do.

Sincerely,

The Ogre in CO114 who is going to start throwing elbows pretty goddam soon.
Seriously.
I don't have time for your shit.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Routine Checkup

Coming up on a pretty significant anniversary so I went in for a routine checkup.

Everything was pretty normal, 'til the doc wanted to do a prostate exam...


I'm not convinced that it was normal...

I'm going to start looking for a new dentist.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I, For One, Welcome Our Flying Nanobot Overlords...

If you can watch this without hearing "Ride of the Valkyries" in your head, you have no imagination, (or never saw Apocalypse Now).


This ought to worry you more than any shoebomber or whatever boogeyman the TSA is hyping this week...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Damn Shame

The heat here probably killed it.
Africa hot here man.
Tarzan couldn't take this kinda hot
TBG

WeatherBitching

So... at 4:45am PDT it was 64 degrees in Vancouver.
So cool, so nice...

I got to my stopover in Phoenix.

101 degrees. Holy crap!

Just exiting the plane to the jetbridge felt like stepping into a pizza oven.

Upon arrival in Texas it was even worse- 5:00 PM and it was 104, and the WeatherIdiots are calling for a high of 108 tomorrow.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

She Should Kill Him

(Now, there is some talk that this is a viral for a water company... It's pretty poor product placement if it is...)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sadly, I've Had One Of These Before

Scatological discourse of epic proportions...
Decidedly NSFW; perhaps offensive to those of prudish or delicate sensibilities, but highly entertaining.

Read Gibbering Horror at Frizzen Sparks


Enjoy such literary gems such as...

"...she’d burn my underwear and make me start exfoliating my glutes with an angle grinder."

"...a portent of oncoming fecapocalypse..."

"...fetid ribbons of pure evil..."

"...barnacles scraped from Cthulu’s taint..."

"...a mercy flush to spare any unsuspecting coworkers lung damage..."

And the best:
"If there is a Congressional Medal of Honor for toilet plungers, the one at work deserves two."

Kudos to Graumagus, of the cast-iron colon...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Lesson #817

How to screw up Domestic Tranquility - Lesson #817

2003 Yamaha FJR 1300

0 to 60 in 3.2 seconds

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

There is a Special Hell...

...for scientists like this:


(Click for full size image)

According to St. Ass, this is real, judging from some of the seals and watermarking...
He said that at the time, the Soviet Union was doing anything and everything to beat the West in technological advancement.

Very disturbing...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday Night is Date Night

It's date night... Take your best girl out for a spin on you scooter;
Maybe dinner and a movie will put her "in the mood"...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome Our New Android Overlords

Holy crap, that thing is realistic...



Story here



It just needs some micro-eyemovement...



Crap on a cracker!
It looks like it's breathing...
Man, the Devil is in the details.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What is The Internet?

From waaaaay back in 1994...
Couric & Gumbel trying to figure out what an email address is...

We've come a long way since then...
 
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Calgary - A/K/A The 3rd Circle of Hell

...Please don't feed Cerberus as you make you way to Baggage Claim.

Nice doggy...

They weren't just whistlin' Dixie at Intellicast...


From my dashboard infosystem:

And that is while I'm sitting in the sunshine at the airport...

You'd think that folks that live up here in the Frozen Tundra would know how to drive in icy conditions.

Obviously the local pick 'em up-driving Snowbillies are having issues with vehicle control too.

The tracks left by this fender bender are puzzling...
I shot another snap as I went past in the opposite direction, just to get the full impact (heh) of the mishap...

Amazing how he just barely missed the traffic control post as he skidded to a halt. The back fender must have missed the upright by millimeters...

Ah well- off to work...

Time for walkabout in McMahon Stadium...

Home of the CFL Stampeders (The Stamps for short)


Man, it looks coooold out there.
I'm here to tell ya, it's cold³.

And since it's so damn cold, let's go walk around in it.

First- a hike up to the top of the temporary stands.
Much more dangerous than it sounds, actually.


This is why- there is a coating of the really really really cold white stuff on most of the steps.

This makes the climb treacherous enough.

But events conspire to push the risk to the next level, so to speak.
Hidden under the icy rime is the fact that some of the flooring planks aren't fastened down completely.
One false step and you'll fall down through the scaffolding like a pachinko ball.

This little widowmaker is up at the top where the cold wind has blown away the crust of snow, but also made the temp of the aluminum structure about -30°F.
Don't touch it with your bare hand, Florida Boy... Let someone else fix it.

Nice view from the top, though. Worth the climb.

If the wind isn't blowing too hard, these might be the best seats in the house.

The view from HITS isn't too bad...

It'll be Hockey under the Lights-
Puck drop is February 20th at 4:00pm , Sundown is at 6:01pm that night.
Breakdown is going to be a joy.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

New Reads

One thing about pulling temporary duty over at Uncle Jay's, I have been introduced to some new sites, including a blog written by a girl from my neck of the woods, who recently moved to Florida.
I have to admire Mike and Lissa moving way down south, I don't think I could do it, for just the reasons Lissa mentioned.
I've visited down there before- they have snakes and bugs like you just would not believe.

Demon Robo Spiders - Hey Lissa, Watch your ass!

Proxi; More more more...

Panic on Concourse C - Fast Moving Ogre

I found the perfect gift for a certain lumbering ogre what likes to move rapidly through airports when he has been drinking in the airport lounge too long has a short layover on connecting cities...

Behold, the Micro Samsonite

Omigod I can just see The Big Guy kicking this carry-on bag/scooter combo down the concourse in Newark heading for Gate C120.

I can also see the Port Authority Police and the TSA working him over with tazers once they catch him.

As a matter of fact, I'd pay good cashy money to see it.

Proxi - Fill-no-more

Halloween Horror

I think I've found the basis for my halloween costume this year.

Getting a single frost blue contact lens will be be a challenge, but I think this could be truly disturbing...

Proxi - Just doing my part for the blogosphere