The Mystery Basket

I have one of these! At least, I used to...
Once TWWKMT see this, I'm sure she'll hide it.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Close Call

I almost had a Lochte moment at about 4 this morning...
I pulled into a gas-food-ice-24hours to fuel up and (more urgently) get rid of some processed coffee.
I fueled, then tried to hit the head-
Locked.
I went to the security window to speak to the service attendant- a young man of ethnic origin- pointed in the vague direction of the bathroom and pantomimed  unlocking & opening the door...
He shrugs his shoulders and yells through the money slot...
YMEO: "IS OUT SER-BISS"
TBG: "Huh?"
YMEO: "OUT SER-BISS. BROKE."
TBG: "Fuck."

The initial urge to urinate into the money slot/speaking tube was nigh overwhelming...
I did, however, remember the Lochte Lesson and did not vandalize the Gas&Go...
But there is a very upset ficus tree suffering from ammonia, sodium, caffine and trace elements between there and I-95...

TBG - (Relieved without criminal indictment)

He Has A Way With Words, Don't He?

Lochte puts down his pencil...
"Here. Read this." he says to his publicist.

"I like, went to this club. Was cray cray, I was so wasted. We got some dude to take us back but I had to piss so we stop at this shithole gas station. Fucking doors locked man. Fuckers aren't stopping me though, I'm murican. So I kick down that door with one unstoppable roundhouse and we go piss on the floor to show them who's boss. Wouldn't you know it, some rent a cop starts yellin some jibberish at us and waving a gun. I'm like bro, I had to piss, door had to go. He just kept going on his voodoo speak so I tossed dude a couple hundo's and bailed. Now dudes all pissed that I went and told everyone how awesome I was. Haters. So yea murica, I'm sorry bro."

"Uh, Ryan... You wouldn't mind if we edit this just a little bit? Just so it reads a little better?"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

From Lochte's Instagram account 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Let's analyze, shall we?

[1] "I want to apologize"
He's being a weasel. The "I want to" takes the force from the "apologize."
If you want to apologize you simply apologize. Dressing it up minimizes the effect.


[2] "for my behavior last weekend —"
This phrase, followed by the dash, is crucial.
It specifies what behavior he's apologizing for. He should be apologizing for being an obsequious asshole. But, no- he apologizes for getting caught.

[a] "for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events of that early morning and "

At the same time he's putting the focus on his description of the events, not what the events actually entailed- namely, drunken buffoonery and the lies he told about it- he sneaks in that the events occurred during the "early morning" (i.e., tired, after a night of drinking) in order to justify the supposed imprecision.
But remember that he told his lies much later, including media interviews and in official testimony to police. Post-interview damage control from the PR firm was obvious instruction "Don't lie any more, and don't admit to lying."

[b] for my role in taking the focus away from the many athletes fulfilling their dreams of participating in the Olympics.
This is good. It shows a bit of awareness that people exist in the world besides himself.
But it does nothing to address his core misconduct: the vandalism and deliberately fabricated story (being stopped by a roadblock of assailants purporting to be cops who, among other things, held a gun to his head as he dismissed them with a nonchalant "whatever").
And there's the "for my role in" qualifying phrase- because he can't be taking responsibility for the actions of the group as a whole, or for media's role in shifting the focus away from the athletes.

Fuck this- the entire thing smacks of : "My PR Guy said to say this so you might have some sympathy for me."

The entire non-apology is basically a slab of lawyer-ese in attempt to appease but to avoid acceptance of any kind of guilt.

If he'd written it himself I'd suggest he go work for Hillary Clinton's campaign.
He'd fit right in.
But based on his older Instagram & Twitter content, its obvious that the apology is a carefully crafted piece from a very capable PR firm that probably already has ties to some noisome political organizations.
Probably Trump's, maybe Clinton's too.

TBG - FTMF

Thanks A Lot, Lochte.

Anyone who goes to Rio (or any Olympic Games) always gets a briefing from their sponsoring group about etiquette and how their actions reflect back on their country.
I know I get them from the Large Broadcast Entity along with the 'Shit You Shouldn't Do' briefing...

So- hand a bunch of young athletes hopped up on adrenaline and 'I'm-a-gold-medal-winning-'Murican' pseudo-steroids and free flowing alcohol, then turn them loose -ostensibly to get back to their lodgings- without some kind of supervision, and your organizing committee is asking for trouble.
Nice work , TeamUSA. Spend some money on some effective professional personnel protective assets... It's a better investment that the $$$ you'll have to shell out for PR and legal fees.

Should they be able to act appropriately on their own? Yes.

Does their bullshit activities make things difficult for all Americans here (and elsewhere)?
You betcher ass.

Is this a isolated experience - Ugly Americans reinforcing stereotypes at the Olympic Games?

Absolutely not.

Sherman, set the WayBack to February 1998...
A number (as yet still unidentified and unpunished) NHL Hockey players, after getting bounced from the competition, ALLEGEDLY broke up furniture, damaged walls, set off fire extinguishers, and broke some windows in the Olympic Village.
The official word was that a few rather light and flimsy chairs were broken through normal use, because the players are big guys and they were just playing cards...
Whatever.
It blew over and no one thinks about it any more.
A little vandalism is one thing. We could call it a victimless crime, but to me criminal behavior is criminal behavior. YMMV.
When, like Lochte & Co, you make up a story involving local thugs, casting aspersions at teh local police by saying police (even fake police) were involved in order to cover up boorish behavior- it will not be swept under the carpet.
Lochte and Co, imbued with confidence, alcohol and the need to urinate decided their needs outweighed the "closed" sign at the gas station, showed their (figurative) asses, then tried to cover things up with with a hastily and poorly-conceived lie...
Nice work, guys. Make all us 'Murican look like assholes...

(Overheard on the shuttle bus last night- an OBS person saying good night to an American media person - "Hey- don't vandalize any gas stations tonight!")

Popular medal-winning athletes shouldn't be doing shit like this...

That's the job of the guys in our Golf division- they get paid to look like idjits.
Let our guys do their jobs.

You guys stick to swimming and carpool karaoke, let the professionals work.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

WTF Rio? - Part 207b

Now that the opening ceremonies are over and I finally have all my equipment in place, I have a little breathing room and can make some comments...

Re: Opening Ceremonies and one-off sports at Olympics.

When did walking in sparkly dress with a thigh-high slit in four inch heels become an Olympic event?


Don't get me wrong- I'm sure it was an Olympic feat for Giselle Bundchen to walk all the way across the floor of the stadium under the gaze of millions. But still...

I'm trying to find out how one gets to be a judge in that event.

Also- In Tokyo there will 6 exhibition sports - only for the 2020 Olympics.
Baseball/softball, surfing, skateboarding, karate and speed climbing.
Being in Tokyo, I wonder about the surfing event- Will they create a wave simulator or some kind of man-made wave system...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rio Navigation and Work Fun

Opening Ceremonies is a delay in my schedule because the TV Truck used for that show pulls up stakes and moves from Maracanã to the OLS (Olympic Stadium) for Track & Field. Once it landed at the T&F stadium I had to go install my last suite of hardware...


I was sitting at breakfast on Sunday planning to go to OLS at 8:30 or so, and the NBC IT guy who had installed the network hardware on Saturday afternoon had words of wisdom:

"Make sure your driver knows the way to the stadium.
Mine didn't, and we were totally lost in a not-very-nice area. The driver finally pulled over and found a guy with a machete, no shirt, prison tattoos, sitting by flaming oil drum full of burning chunks of old automobile tires under an overpass to ask about directions.
I was hiding under the back seat of the van. I knew we were both going to die!"

Dude... Never get out of the boat.
I got my install done with only a *little* shouting and death threats...
I ran into an IP conflict with some other equipment...
Valid IP addresses are few and far between in these parts, Buckaroo.
When the Powers That Be issue you an IP, you fucking use THAT address AND NOTHING ELSE.
I didn't actually hurt the offending technician, or his gear, but I guarantee he won't 'borrow' any addresses ever again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Trolling the interns in the men's room...

(Man, that doesn't sound right...)

The restrooms in the IBC have Dyson Airblade Vs in them in an effort to make the Games greener.


(In this case, the green is the algae growing on the wall near the Airblades- the water is blown off your hands and soaks the wall the the counter-top. Lovely design.

But there is a trick to getting them to activate... You have to approach them a certain way or they don't do anything but sit there looking evil and angry...

I was drying my hands at one and one of the Interns/Runners - a snot-nosed young lad of 22 or so saw me and asked how it worked...

Snot-nosed Young Lad: "Dang. Those things DO work!? I thought is was just an air freshener or something. I  never saw one working before now."

I guess if there isn't an iPhone control app for it, it's not worth using.

I decided to have a little fun with him.

Yours Truly: "What, you haven't got your chip yet?"
S-NYL: "My what?"
YT: "Your chip. Your RFID chip from NBC."
S-NYL: Puzzled look, like a cocker spaniel when you make a squeaky noise.
YT: "Yeah, you need to go down to Engineering and ask for your chip implant. It activates the hand driers, but the really cool stuff they do is things like giving you access to the VIP sections in different venues- really useful in the Gymnastics and the Swimming venues. It also gives you access to the motorpool to get from site to site... Just get in one of the NBC cars and wave your hand over the reader and tell the driver where you want to go.
There's a bunch of other stuff... It'll be in the brochure they give you when they implant the chip...
S-NYL: "Everybody gets them?"
YT: "Yep...If you know who to ask. Just keep it on the down-low. The less people that know, the better."

I gave him the name of a certain Curmudgeon who hates EVERYBODY, especially the interns...
I'll be interested to see how that shakes out...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING STUFFS!

Day One:
Venue: OAS (Swimming)
Tech manager is trying to figure out a cable run for some in-truck services back to the TOC.
(TOC = big room full of operations equipment, especially the network switches that provide all the connectivity for each venue.)
In his effort, he pulls my connection out of the main switch...
WHILE WE ARE ON THE FUCKING AIR.
My phone rings...

EG: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)
YT: "Find your Truck Guy, trace the blue cable from your switch to the patch block, make sure it's still plugged in. Then, look in the TOC for the cable bundle labeled 'GRAPHICS" make sure #6 is in port 45 on switch 2."
EG: "Find the truck guy. Got it."
YT: "Oh shit..." I grabbed my tool back and headed out the door.
Before I got to the shuttle bus, my phone rang.
EG: "Found it. Someone moved the cable."
YT: "Who? Who did it. What moronic motherhumper in the OAS compound is going to wind up with a 4 pound hammer embedded in his forehead?"
EG: "Don't know, but it's fixed."
YT: "Find out." (click)

Day Two:
Venue: ROA (Gymnastics)
We are live on the air... Phone

RJ: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)

Grab my bag and head to the shuttle.
I arrived at the ROA and started to go to the truck, but headed to the TOC instead...
I ran into the Tech Manager...

TM: "I know why you're here... Sorry- my fault. it's fixed now."
YT:  stunned silence
TM: "Yeah, one of the guys in the A-Truck had a problem with his internet connection. Your cable wasn't labeled and I didn't know what it was, so I pulled it."
YT: "Dude, are you fucking kidding me? There are 200 unlabeled cables in here...
You didn't pull them... Why are you pulling mine?"
TM: shrugs shoulders - "I don't know... I just thought it was in the wrong place."

Is it unreasonable for me to expect that while we are ON THE AIR that people don't pull out cables that they don't know what it's attached to?

(Oddly I am reminded of Buckaroo Banzai performing brain surgery:
"You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same.
No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."

I grab a roll of neon-yellow gaff tape and a Sharpie.
"IF YOU TOUCH THIS CABLE I WILL KILL YOU"
There... It's labeled.

I stuck my head in the B-Truck. My guy gives a thumbs up.
Ok...
I head to Diving.
Tape. Sharpie.
"TOUCH THIS CABLE AND YOU WILL DIE"
 Done.
I labeled Track & Field too...
Golf will get one as soon as I go back out there...

Morons. I'm surrounded by morons.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Yeah- I'm gonna call Bullshit on that old saying...

Someone used it in conversation a few days ago and I had to take exception...
There may be instances where it may be somewhat accurate, but on the whole, things that hurt you badly but don't kill you generally fuck you up for long periods of time and leave you debilitated for a longer time...

Things like:

• Diabetes
• Getting hit by a truck while crossing a busy road and having your spine crushed and a skull fracture.
• Contracting chronic Lyme disease.
• Asthma 

I know a guy down in Australia who contracted Ross River Virus from a mosquito bite during a camping trip in Queensland several years ago and now he needs to be pushed around in a wheel-chair, moaning the whole time about his joints and inadequate ramp access to public buildings and mass transit issues.

TBG - - [Exit- pursued by a LPGA golfer]

Experiencing Technical Difficulties

(I know - the pics are not coming up correctly...)

Please stand by....




TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Amused But Confused

Just thinking out loud here...

I'm sure by now you've heard that there was some kerfuffle at one of the beauty pageants where the EmCee crowned the wrong contestant and had to backpedal to correct things in a most embarrassing fashion...

I think the whole thing was a sham- after all, the real winner didn't get crowned...

Because isn't the current Correct Thinking that BHO is the most wonderful, most photogenic, most intelligent, best-thing-since-sliced-bread evar?
He got the Nobel- and I hear he's in the running for an Oscar, a Grammy, an Emmy, a Clio and Tony. (With all his lies, shouldn't he get a Pulitzer for his works of fiction?)
Why not Miss USA/World/Universe/Galaxy/Queen of Every Fucking Thing?

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Assholes Being Assholes

Seems like there are so many more "White Supremacy" incidents in the last few weeks...

Seems to me they fall into two major categories:
1. People who want to give the BLM crowd and the campus crybullies something to protest- usually someone from the same organizations hoaxing, so they stay relevant.

2. Shit - stirrers like the 4-chaners, militant Redditors, and refugees from /b/ that just love throwing monkey wrenches for the sake of wrenching, not because of racial hatred.

That small percentage of REAL white supremacy retards have always been out there and probably know better than to fan the flames...The BLM is doing a bang-up job of alienating Everyone Else on their own. The WS crowd knows that getting caught making a poo-swastika would be stepping on their own dicks in a major way...

The BLM folks that are creating their own outrages (swastikas,  white power graffiti, provocative social media messages) fall back on the ever-popular defense of "I did it just to see what would happen."...
Like this idjit:

Police at Saginaw Valley State University say a threat posted on the social media site Yik Yak read, "I'm going to shoot every black person I can on campus. Starting tomorrow morning."

Guess who:

The original post was followed later by: 
"Its [sic] a joke,"
"I'm black,"
"I was going to give it an hour to see how you all would react," and
"Right. I could be angry and just expressing myself lol."

Moron.

Pandering Of The Worst Kind

-or-
How fixing a 'problem' for appeasement can bite you in the ass.

Isinglass

    [ahy-zuh n-glas, -glahs, ahy-zing-]
    noun
    1. a pure, transparent or translucent form of gelatin, obtained from the  air bladders of certain fish, especially the sturgeon: used in glue and jellies and as a clarifying agent. 

 Because 'isinglass' sounds better than 'fish guts'.

So-



Guinness has folded to pressure from the vegan crowd and changed their process to make their product adhere to vegan conditions.
Specifically, taking isinglass out of the filtration process as part of the finishing of their magnificent brew.
Read here.

Really- you are changing a 256-year-old process because 1700 social justice warriors signed an on-line petition?
I wonder if they ever had a chat about or researched what happened with New Coke?
Cause that worked out so well...
Morons.

Can't wait to see how this plays out...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

The Walk of Shame

The Walk of Shame on the morning after Halloween is the worst walk of shame ever...

Tired of Your Bullshit, Asshat. (Australia Gun Control Edition)

A long-time friend and dis-honorary guest member of the ODMQD Breakfast Club, is a staunch repeal-the-second-amendment, Gunz-R-Bad, dope-smoking, granola munching, NYC/LA wannabe, and as such, we just let him babble on and pretty much ignore his crap...
He usually confines himself to basic inanities about how guns should be outlawed, then just collected up like in Australia and all will be right with the world.
Seems a lot of politicians (Obama included) would embrace the Australian model...
Unfortunately, they only hear anecdotal evidence, not hard facts-
(Like that famous '97%' of scientists that feel the science is settled about Anthropological Global Change [obvious horseshit - read HERE], and that 40% of guns are sold without background checks. [Again- Bullshit - Here.)

So Skippy (an obvious nom de idiot, since I don't want to embarrass him too badly) is going on and on about USA shootings in Virginia, Charleston, Aurora, ad infinitum and speaking in glowing terms about Australia, and I just want to smack him in the head and remind him about the Lindt cafe incident last December...

I keep hearing all about how the Australia mandatory gun buy-back confiscation program is just the model we should embrace...Mostly because Obama said so on a podcast with a bullshit moron unfunny soi-disant 'comedian'. (I'm not going to link to it- fuck 'em. You want to read it, GIMF.)

It was soooooo effective...
They got about 1/3 of the outlawed weapons, so in the US it might be about 100 million of the 300+ million guns. And if history is any indicator, US gun owners will not go quietly into that good night. (I do hope that my man Skippy, Bloomberg, Pelosi, Obama, Feinstein, and Sarah Brady are the people going door-to-door to ask people for their guns.)
Interestingly, if somehow, you get a special dispensation to have a gun in Australia, the ploice can come at any time and search your house and property without any kind of a warrant. Is that REALLY what people want?

People think gun crime is non-existent in Australia...
Think again.

Exercise a little Google-fu:
Here, I 'll even help you out. (Gotta be specific about what KIND of shooting or you'll get basketball results for Woollarra and Bundaburg...)

Brisbane
Melbourne
Sydney

How's about these apples for 2014:


Is Australia staring down the barrel of a gun crisis? (news.com.au)

* There have been 39 people shot in Sydney (in 2014), most related to an ongoing bikie war.
* Conservative estimates say there are more than a quarter-of-a-million illegal firearms in Australia.
* Gun ownership in Australia is back at pre-Port Arthur massacre levels.
* Carrying a gun is becoming more common and ingrained in outlaw culture.
* Gun amnesties barely put a dent in the number of weapons.
* Innocent people are being caught up in gun battles.
* There has been a steady increase in gun-related crimes over the past seven years.

Sydney gun crime: city suffers three shootings in three hours

Sydney home invasions and drive-by shootings whitewashed by NSW Police

Look, Oz isn't the gun-free utopia that Obama, Bloomberg and the rest of the anti-gun proponents believe it to be. Firearm-related incidents don't get the airplay on the US MSM because it doesn't fit the narrative...

Back to Skippy for a minute-
His position is the need to implement the Aussie-style Draconian measures, force a buy-back on a national level, then after the results are sofa-king ridiculously poor, then go door to door to get the rest of the 200 million firearms that possession was, until this little imaginary exercise, a God-give and constitutionally protected right. And he thinks that's doable.

But, on another note, he doesn't believe rounding up the 11 million (more like 20 million, amirite?) illegal aliens (you fuckin'-a right I said it - ILLEGAL. ALIEN.) is remotely possible. We shouldn't even try.
I really don't think he know what a really motivated gun-owning, 2A proponent is capable of, and prepared to do... Because when push comes to knock-knock-give-me-your-guns, I have a feeling Joe USCitizen will not go all round-heel like the Sheilas Down Under.

Gah- I am surrounded by morons.

- Or... Wait. Is it just me?
A fictional Deputy Marshall, Raylan Givens (more on him in a later post) had some great writers doing his dialog from the TV show Justified on Fox.
He once opined:
"...you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Lots of truth there, it seems.

I'm going to have to rethink my whole personality evaluation paradigm.
Seems like there are some inconsistencies in it...

(Shit- This post wandered quite a bit... Sorry for the digressions.)

tl:dr  Hey Skippy: Fuck off and die in a fire.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

On Pins & Needles

Heading to Beijing on Wednesday...
I'm a little concerned with the event and my ability to work the contract deliverables-
I sent all my equipment to the project principal in May for them to cross ship to China in their container.

Guess where the container is/was last week?

Tianjin.

I'm hoping that the container makes it to Beijing...
Hope, however, doesn't pay the bills, so I will be hand-carrying some extra equipment when I go, just in case the container (and my stuff) was blown to smithereens.

It's always something...

TBG

Life ProTip: In The Backcountry

Friendly advice*:

Prior to going out on a back country hike out here in Glacier National Park, make sure to slather yourself with Bear Spray...


And be sure to give the kids an extra-heavy dose... wouldn't want anyone to get hurt by the marauding Ursus arctos horribilis.

I know...
Some people just want to watch the world burn.



TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
*This Satire. Do not do this. This is a joke. Srsly.

FTMF - Bill Clinton Edition

It seems like
1) Bill Clinton hasn't learned from that "...the definition of is is" and "I never had sexual relations with that woman" episode way back when...

and

2) No one gives a shit that the Clintons are a bunch of lying, conniving, greedy, motherfuckers. They will still vote for her.

Watch Billy Jeff on Bloomberg.com - Politics- start about 4:45 in- he tapdances all around the subject-
Money quote: "Has anybody proved that we did anything objectionable? No."
Hell- watch the whole thing and look at his body language.
He's lying his ass off.

And this is what we'll wind up with back in the White House if we don't wake up and smell what they are shoveling...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
(Edit: spelling- post in haste, spellcorrect at leisure)

Perception - The '(fillintheblank)' Capitol of America!

Sitting in the office, minding my own business (a/k/a eavesdropping) and folks are discussing dinner last night and how one woman (a New Yorker) had to order some seafood dish on the menu-
"Because San Francisco is the seafood capitol of America."




*Ding!*

This woman needs a high-five.
In the head.
With a chair.
Sadly I am not in a position where I can administer such a much-needed corrective action.


Uh- Honey-
There's this place- Florida?
I don't know if you've heard of it...
Florida= Oysters, Stone Crab, Lobster, Snapper, Grouper, Shrimp, Wahoo, Cobia and the list goes on ad infinitum...


Yeah- San Fran = blah blah blah - Dungeness crab... Whatever.
SanFran MIGHT be the capitol of the US for one specific species of one type of seafood.
(And she's lucky no one from the Chesapeake Bay region was around to school her on blue crabs...)

Now - I will grant that SF (and especially the Tenderloin, where I am staying) is the California capitol of crazies/crackheads/wacked out meth heads/shouters & screamers...
There has been a shooting within 3 blocks of my hotel every night this week.
Even I don't go out late at night around here...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Only At BBQ Restaurant in the South...

...will you hear a waitress and a customer argue about the merits and costs of 4x4 off-road tires.
Her: "...Had those Firestones you like one season. Hated 'em. Useless & expensive, just like a husband with a coke habit."
Him: "No...They're great. We went rock climbing all the time when I lived in San Antone."
Her: "That's nice sweetie, but this here's Flor-i-Da, and we got mud and sand and sandy mud. Get you some Mickey Thompsons Baja MTZs; That's what I'm spending your tip money on...
Those Firestones just suck ass..."
(Drops mic,  walks off.)

Wow. Have a feeling her tire fund won't have a significant bump today.

TBG eavesdropping.

Cannot Humor At This Time, Please Try Again Later

Blah blah blah,

Something something:
Elephant Gloryholes.

Punchline.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wisdom

Sage wisdom that should be remembered:


"Every safety rule is usually written in blood."

Never heard that one before... and it makes such a great impression...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Why Would You Do That To Your Mother?

So, following up on an overheard conversation last night in the local purveyor of Adult Spirits...

There were a couple twenty-somethings -male and female- at the bar along with a line of mixed geographicals -visitors and locals.
I didn't hear the genesis of the exchange, but one of the older women at the bar said something to one of the kids - obviously something uber-cool and 'winning', to which the 20-ish child replied "Yeah! Ohhh... Will you be my mom?" to much laughter...

I reflected inwardly how 1) I've heard this before, (and after doing a bit of research it's becoming commonplace) and 2) it is, in my not-so-humble-opinion, pretty damned insulting, especially in proximity to Mother's Day. Or even not close to Mother's Day...

So- your mom isn't cool enough to do shots with you, or won't let you do something risky, morally ambiguous, or perhaps illegal, so you'd like to trade up to someone who will?
Fuck you, you little shit. Don't second guess your mom...
Someday you may be in a position that you will have to guide a small person to the age of maturity and will have to analyze the 10,000 actions and decisions that become the basis of someone's existence and code of behavioral ethics. It's not an easy job- Do you think it's easy to raise a kid?
Fortunately Motherhood usually comes with a huge dollop of self-delusion...
Remember your Heinlein:

"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth."

As I indicated, I did a moment's research and found a way too many examples -
A fairly good article on mom, #mom and momming especially in regards to celebrity momming can be found here.

And if you want to be really disgusted, check out the #mom or "will you be my mom" hashtag on Twitter.  And the opposite side is probably just as disturbing with "will you be my daughter".

(Yes, I have a sense of humor, and I understand sarcasm and satire, but Jeebus on a jumped-up skateboard, what the actual fuck is wrong with people?)


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE