Aussie Olympic Humor

Great bit, especially is you can decipher the Aussie slang...


"Ooh. Sailing's started."
"I'll call the wife and tell her I'll be late!"

And...

"Is there a big statue of Jesus in Rio? Why don't they show us?!"

TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by a Boomer]

Sydney - Neglected Point of Interest

I forgot one point of interest in old Sydney that would be of interest to one or two Constant Readers.
OldNFO and Brigid would most likely really enjoy the bookstore I found up in Millers Point...
On Argyle Place, just up from Lord Nelson's is an itty bitty specialty bookshop...

Sadly, when The Woman and I swept past, the "Out for Tucker" sign was up, and I never got back during business hours...
Next December I will visit again and try to get some interior shots...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Items - 2015-2016 - Part 5

For the last 3 years I have assiduously avoided the big New Year's Eve show in Sydney...
This year needed to be different since The Woman was in town.
YOLO and all that.

We had access to the Royal Botanic Garden for the New Year's Eve fireworks show... The problem is that you have to get your spot early, and stay in it through the evening. It's first come, first served, and if you snooze, you lose (your spot).


Lots of folks on their blankets as we wait for sundown and the early fireworks at 9:00.


The fired up the projectors on the bridge pylons as the harbour darkened.


If you look in the foreground you can see the crowds along the shore near the Opera House.


No one can convert money into smoke and noise like Sydney - $7 Million in fireworks blown off in 12 minutes.

It's pretty impressive.

I shot a little video of the finale...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Items 2015-2016 - Part 4

Australia with The Woman Who Knows Most Things - 2015-2016

We headed back down to Darlington Harbour and the downtown area-
Lord Nelson's was our fisrt stop after a quick walkaround of the Barangaroo Reserve.



A Three Sheets ale for The Woman, and a nice cider for me, then we walked around downtown for a bit, doing a recon for New Year's Eve, then headed to yet another microbrewery-

Young Henry Brewery.



The Woman picking out her flight of beers...




Mmmm. Tasty ales!

They had some great artwork on the walls of the brewery and tasting room.


I like a good skull-motif mural.

Next - a visit with some locals- a mob of gray 'roos enjoying a lazy afternoon...



We walked around Taronga Zoo to wile away the afternoon, enjoying some of the local fauna.



A pensive wallaby and some uninterested quokkas just hanging out...

After the Zoo we headed to Manly to check out the beach and (quelle surprise) another brewery-
4 Pines.



Jen and her flight...

...And a ginger beer for The Big Guy.



-more-

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Items 2015-2016 - Part 3

Continuing our excursion around Sydney...

We headed out to the Blue Mountains, west of Sydney.
Our first stop was near Wentworth Falls near Katoomba.

The walk we took was amazing- the trails were lots of fun...
We stuck to the cliffs... Much better than hiking down to the bottom of the falls, then back up again.


Thanks Captain Obvious-


The Woman really had fun on this hike-


Waiting out the rain under the cliffs.


There were several spots where modern-day aboriginals (other hikers) did some finger-painting...


Other hikers would get their hands in the white clay along the trail and make their mark.


Next stop was out at Echo Point, a rock formation called Three Sisters...


We were a little famished on our way back.
The Woman had asked about native Australian cuisine and it took me a bit of imagination to
come up with a proper Aussie meal. I took her to Harry's Cafe de Wheels-a local landmark for
pies and mushy peas...


In the evening we had been enjoying the Australia vs West Indies cricket test on the TV.
The KFC Big Bash  T-20 cricket was playing in the Sydney Olympic Park, so we got tickets to go see a match in person...
The Big Bash is Short Attention Span Cricket- 20 overs (6 legal deliveries per over), and plays in about 3 to 4 hours. Much better than the 5-full day regular matches.

It's a fun time for the spectators- lots of pyro, easy to follow play, cheerleaders, lots of noise and music.
And- as this is Australia- don't even think about trying to get a beer in a reasonable amount of time.
The lines for beer were the longest wait- food & snacks were relatively short- took me 35 minutes to get some refreshing beverages for The Woman and I.

-More-

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Items 2015-2016 - Part 2

Continuing - The Woman and I spent several lovely days in and around Sydney...


We spent a day downtown enjoying the sights near The Rocks and Circular Quay.


Up in the Royal Botanic Park, the views are pretty amazing.

We also took a walk over the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
We didn't do the walk over the upper steel. Just the regular bridge deck was high enough.

Plenty high.

One of The Woman's favorite things in indulging in craft beers, so I made it a point to know the locations of several microbreweries around Sydney.


We hit this one kind of by accident, and it was one of the best. If you visit Sydney and like beers-
make sure you go to Wayward Brewing Co.



Seize the beer, indeed!

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Items 2015-2016 - Part 1

Yeah- I know - It's been quiet. Too quiet.
Time for a photo review review from my stint Down Under.
2015-2016 was my fourth year spending the holidays in Sydney.
Due to the way the holidays fell, I basically had the week between Christmas and New Year's Day off...
So THIS year I was able to plan ahead and got The Woman a ticket to Sydney on points.
(After missing Christmas at home for three years, I needed to do something to assure Domestic Tranquility-
-And let me tell you, a rewards ticket over the Christmas and New Years holiday was really expensive, points-wise.)

Lots of people were traveling on Christmas Eve-

I did manage to get spotted easily (duh) and we were on our way-
The Woman had been traveling for 20+ hours, so the only thing she wanted to do after arriving was to relax and recover from the flight.

Christmas morning over Olympic Park-

She was up at 4am (as most US travelers are on the first day or so...)

We headed out to Royal National Park and went on a nice hike out in the Wattamolla area.


Last year I about killed myself out here by overestimating my stamina.
(Read the tale HERE)

I saw great locations during my hike last year but the clock was running so I didn't have time to stop. This year we were able to take our time out at Wattamolla Falls.
We were the first ones into the park that morning, and took advantage of the peace and quiet...

Beautiful place. We really enjoyed it...

- More -

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Here We Go....

Buckle up, Buckaroos! We're going for a ride...

On the whole, I'd probably be better off in Honduras.

TBG - - Μaking backups-

Flirting & Sexual Harassment - Definitions Please

In the local news, on of the Big Bash cricket players was twigged for an interview with a local SportsNewsHottie...

“I wanted to come and have an interview with you as well.
That’s the reason why I’m here, just to see your eyes for the first time. It’s nice so. Hopefully we can win this game and have a drink after. Don’t blush, baby.”

She recovered, got the interview back on track and aside from from snickering from the other commentators, but it wasn't any near as bad as Joe Namath and his drunken hitting on Suzy Kolber in 2003...
Granted- live TV and all that. So his timing was off. BFHD.

Obviously, all the blue hairs and feminists got their knickers in a bunch regarding this...
But geez- that's pretty tame, all things considered.
He apologized, she accepted - then the PC Police went crazy- he got fined $10,000AUD
(What's that- $25 USD?)  and they are talking suspension/firing.
For telling her she was cute and asking her out for drink?
Please.
All things being equal, if you look at female Aussie Talking Heads, every damned one is a looker. They don't hire the 5s, only 8-10s. So- to be sure they are hired for their (sex) appeal. [The male ATH? I am not qualified to judge such things...] But in as much as they are hired with such an attribute, what the fck do they expect?

Cpould someone PLEASE draw the line where banter / harmless flirting and normal male-female interactions become sexual harassment and become harmful?



TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Gun Laws & Rules

To whet your appetite have a peek at this from one of the FAQs

I currently hold a firearms licence for sport/target shooting. Can I go hunting on rural property?

No, you are only authorised to shoot at an approved Sport/Target Shooting Club. If you wish to shoot on rural land you must apply to have the genuine reason of Recreational Hunting and Vermin Control or Primary Production added to your existing firearms licence.
To add this genuine reason, you should email the Firearms Registry Licensing Unit at frlicensing@police.nsw.gov.au to obtain pre-printed application forms – please refer to the information under 'What if I want to change my genuine reason or add a new genuine reason?' above.

Wow.
Pique your interest?

Submitted for your edification, some FAQs and Links regarding gun laws from the oh-so-enlightened Aussies...

From the Auburn Shooting Academy (Sydney west) website:

-Frequently Asked Questions-

How long does it take to get a pistol license?
After joining the club and completing the initial Pistol Safe Handling training, your application for a Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) will take about 6 to 8 weeks. You will then need to complete the clubs 12 week pistol training program while under close supervision and the remainder of the first 6 months of your PPL under general supervision. A PPL is valid for 12 months after which time a Category H (Pistol Target Shooting) licence can be applied for.

Can anyone become a club member and licensed shooter?
You must be able to pass a Police criminal background check, have good English language skills and be a NSW resident.

What do I need to join the Shooting Academy Club?
You will need a government issued photo identification, two references from adults who have known you 2 years or more and be able to pass a Police criminal background check. You will also need to be a member of the Sporting Shooters Association of Australia (SSAA).

How much does a Pistol License Cost?
Your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) will cost $100 (for 12 months), and your Category H Pistol Licence will cost $100 for 2 years or $200 for 5 years. These fees are in addition to your club and shooting association membership fees.

When I have a license, can I bring an unlicensed friend shooting?
No. Unlicenced shooters may only try pistol target shooting, under the requirements of the Police P650 declaration form, by prior arrangement with the club and under the direct supervision of a Club Range Officer.

Can I shoot at the Shooting Academy at any time?
After you have completed 6 months of your PPL, and have completed your induction and safety training, you can shoot at any time provided the range is not pre-booked for training or competition.

Do I have to attend every Thursday night in the first 12 weeks?
 No, but it is in your best interest to complete your 12 week induction and safety training as soon as possible. You must complete the club's 12 week training course before your PPL is 6 months old. You can only do this on Thursday nights under the supervision of a club Range Officer.

What are the attendance or competition requirements to comply with the conditions of Pistol license?
Licenced pistol shooters must compete in at least 6 club competitions each year, and a further 4 club shoots for each different type of pistol they own.

What's involved in buying my first pistol?
After you have your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) for 6 months, and have completed the club’s induction and safety training course, you can apply for a Permit to Acquire (to buy your first pistol). You must have your Category H safe inspected by the local Police who will provide a letter stating that it complies with regulations. This together with the Permit to Acquire is forwarded to the Firearms Registry.

Can I buy a gun on the Internet?
No. Firearms can ONLY be legally bought and sold through licenced firearms dealers, and only to licenced shooters who have a Permit to Acquire.

Can I shoot at other Pistol clubs or ranges?
Yes. After you have your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) for 6 months, with the permission of the other Club, you can participate in shooting events at other approved pistol ranges. Range fees and competition entry fees for other Club venues are not included in your Shooting Academy Club membership. Additional training and accreditation may be required for participation in external shooting competitions.

Do I need to purchase my own pistol?
No. Club pistols are available free of charge to members under training and during the first 6 months of a PPL. .

Can I store a pistol at the Club?
Yes. Safe-storage compliant gun safes are available at the Club for a modest biennial fee.

Which leads us to the NSW Gun Laws...

Licence Applications

In NSW, any person seeking to possess and use a firearm must be authorised by way of a licence or permit.
All persons wishing to obtain a firearms licence in NSW must have a genuine reason for obtaining the licence and must meet a range of legislative requirements relating to that genuine reason.
Licence holders are only authorised to possess and use the category of firearm for which the licence has been issued and the firearm may only be used for the purpose established as being the genuine reason for holding the firearms licence.

• FACT Sheet - Information on Obtaining a Firearms Licence in NSW (PDF)
• Quick Guide - Applying for a Firearms Licence (PDF)

The Genuine Reasons applicable to a firearms licence are listed below. Please review the requirements for the genuine reason you wish to select to ensure that you can meet all the requirements. The Licence Category and Genuine Reason Table also shows the categories of licence applicable to each genuine reason.

Genuine Reasons

• Sport / Target Shooting
• Recreational Hunting / Vermin Control
• Primary Production
• Vertebrate Pest Animal Control
• Business or Employment
• Rural Occupation
• Animal Welfare
• Firearms Collection

Changes to an Existing Licence

• Add Genuine Reason or Category to Existing Licence
• Delete Genuine Reason or Category or Cancel Licence  

Firearms Safety Training Courses

If you are applying for a licence for the first time you will need to complete a Firearms Safety Training Course for longarms or pistols. Refer to each genuine reason FACT Sheet for information regarding applicable courses.

Business Licence

If you are making an application for a firearms licence for a business, please see the FACT Sheet below and the Business Declaration form which must be completed and returned with your application.

• FACT Sheet - Instructions for Completing a P559 Business, Club or Government Agency Firearms Licence Application
• FORM - Sample Business Licence Application P559 Form
• FORM Business Declaration

Making Your Licence Application

Once you have determined the appropriate genuine reason and category of licence, you may use the link below to request your pre-printed licence application and genuine reason forms.

• Webpage - Request Firearms Licence Application Forms
• FORM - Sample Licence Application P561 Form
• FACT Sheet - Instructions for Completing a P561 Personal Firearms Licence Application

You may also obtain pre-printed licence application forms by contacting the Firearms Registry Customer Service line on 1300 362 562.

I especially enjoyed the phrasing under the section on firearm collectors the caveat:

"A Firearm Collector licence allows for the possession of firearms only, not their use.
...
NOTE: This licence does not authorise the collection of ammunition. For information on collection of ammunition see Ammunition Collection Permit."

And finally, as an American gun owner, these FAQs are hilarious and frightening.

FAQ's

For further information, please access our 'Frequently Asked Questions', below.

• Firearm Licences
• Firearm Permits
• Firearms and Ammunition
• Acquiring a Firearm
• Suspension, Refusal & Revocation
• Unlicensed Persons Using a Firearm on a Range
• Importing Firearms and Weapons
• General - Firearms Amendment (Ammunition Control) Act 2012
• Dealers / Armourers - Firearms Amendment (Ammunition Control) Act 2012 
• Ammunition Permit -  Firearms Amendment (Ammunition Control) Act 2012 
• About the Register of Firearms Licences and Permits to Acquire

Lord, please spare us who want to use the Australian model for proposed gun regulation & ownership...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Those Clever Aussies...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Australia Pro-Tip

Listen to Uncle Jay:

When you arrive in Australia, you may be asked some questions by Customs & Immigration at the airport checkpoint.

If they ask if you have any felony convictions, the reply "I didn't know it was still a requirement." is NOT the correct response...

Just sayin'

TBG, down under.

Tired of Your Bullshit, Asshat. (Australia Gun Control Edition)

A long-time friend and dis-honorary guest member of the ODMQD Breakfast Club, is a staunch repeal-the-second-amendment, Gunz-R-Bad, dope-smoking, granola munching, NYC/LA wannabe, and as such, we just let him babble on and pretty much ignore his crap...
He usually confines himself to basic inanities about how guns should be outlawed, then just collected up like in Australia and all will be right with the world.
Seems a lot of politicians (Obama included) would embrace the Australian model...
Unfortunately, they only hear anecdotal evidence, not hard facts-
(Like that famous '97%' of scientists that feel the science is settled about Anthropological Global Change [obvious horseshit - read HERE], and that 40% of guns are sold without background checks. [Again- Bullshit - Here.)

So Skippy (an obvious nom de idiot, since I don't want to embarrass him too badly) is going on and on about USA shootings in Virginia, Charleston, Aurora, ad infinitum and speaking in glowing terms about Australia, and I just want to smack him in the head and remind him about the Lindt cafe incident last December...

I keep hearing all about how the Australia mandatory gun buy-back confiscation program is just the model we should embrace...Mostly because Obama said so on a podcast with a bullshit moron unfunny soi-disant 'comedian'. (I'm not going to link to it- fuck 'em. You want to read it, GIMF.)

It was soooooo effective...
They got about 1/3 of the outlawed weapons, so in the US it might be about 100 million of the 300+ million guns. And if history is any indicator, US gun owners will not go quietly into that good night. (I do hope that my man Skippy, Bloomberg, Pelosi, Obama, Feinstein, and Sarah Brady are the people going door-to-door to ask people for their guns.)
Interestingly, if somehow, you get a special dispensation to have a gun in Australia, the ploice can come at any time and search your house and property without any kind of a warrant. Is that REALLY what people want?

People think gun crime is non-existent in Australia...
Think again.

Exercise a little Google-fu:
Here, I 'll even help you out. (Gotta be specific about what KIND of shooting or you'll get basketball results for Woollarra and Bundaburg...)

Brisbane
Melbourne
Sydney

How's about these apples for 2014:


Is Australia staring down the barrel of a gun crisis? (news.com.au)

* There have been 39 people shot in Sydney (in 2014), most related to an ongoing bikie war.
* Conservative estimates say there are more than a quarter-of-a-million illegal firearms in Australia.
* Gun ownership in Australia is back at pre-Port Arthur massacre levels.
* Carrying a gun is becoming more common and ingrained in outlaw culture.
* Gun amnesties barely put a dent in the number of weapons.
* Innocent people are being caught up in gun battles.
* There has been a steady increase in gun-related crimes over the past seven years.

Sydney gun crime: city suffers three shootings in three hours

Sydney home invasions and drive-by shootings whitewashed by NSW Police

Look, Oz isn't the gun-free utopia that Obama, Bloomberg and the rest of the anti-gun proponents believe it to be. Firearm-related incidents don't get the airplay on the US MSM because it doesn't fit the narrative...

Back to Skippy for a minute-
His position is the need to implement the Aussie-style Draconian measures, force a buy-back on a national level, then after the results are sofa-king ridiculously poor, then go door to door to get the rest of the 200 million firearms that possession was, until this little imaginary exercise, a God-give and constitutionally protected right. And he thinks that's doable.

But, on another note, he doesn't believe rounding up the 11 million (more like 20 million, amirite?) illegal aliens (you fuckin'-a right I said it - ILLEGAL. ALIEN.) is remotely possible. We shouldn't even try.
I really don't think he know what a really motivated gun-owning, 2A proponent is capable of, and prepared to do... Because when push comes to knock-knock-give-me-your-guns, I have a feeling Joe USCitizen will not go all round-heel like the Sheilas Down Under.

Gah- I am surrounded by morons.

- Or... Wait. Is it just me?
A fictional Deputy Marshall, Raylan Givens (more on him in a later post) had some great writers doing his dialog from the TV show Justified on Fox.
He once opined:
"...you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Lots of truth there, it seems.

I'm going to have to rethink my whole personality evaluation paradigm.
Seems like there are some inconsistencies in it...

(Shit- This post wandered quite a bit... Sorry for the digressions.)

tl:dr  Hey Skippy: Fuck off and die in a fire.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

United Airlines Math: 2+2=Fusebox

So, Flight UA840 to LAX from Sydney was cancelled due to "mechanical reasons"...

Can one of you engineers out there explain how a pilot spending the previous evening down at Westin Hotel in the CBD doing tequila shots and chasing the local hookers horizontal entertainment constitutes "mechanical reasons"?
Just curious.

(Hey, Bright side: I'm not rebooked on Malaysia Air.)

TBG - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday Music Interlude - Cold Chisel - Khe Sanh (1973)

The Australia Open Series - Sydney (a/k/a Apia International Sydney) is in the books-
The WTA winner was Petra Kvitova and on the ATP side Viktor Troicki won.
Huzzah.

Now for the last epic struggle-
We're in the midst of striking the site here at the Sydney Olympic Park.
One more day and I'll be on the big grey bird headed home.
This has been a long one here in Oz...
Fun?
Sometimes.
The staff and the folks I've met?
All just excellent people.

But...
Three years of missing out on the holidays back home is probably all I can stand.
As much as I like the people and the gig, It might take some serious coercion to get me back down here again.

...
And I've traveled round the world from year to year
And each one found me aimless, one more year the worse for wear
And I've been back to South East Asia
But the answer sure ain't there
But I'm drifting north, to check things out again

...
Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
And it's really got me worried
I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone

Stay tuned.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Bonus Music/Viral Video - Straya

This video has been sweeping the Interweb Down Under-
Give it a listen:


Outkast's 'Hey Ya' reworked into the very unofficial national anthem of 'Straya'

Boy these folks are just full of jingoism and kangaroo shit, eh?

TBG - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tech Support: Notes from the Battlefield - Continued

(Talking to a User on one of the kiosk machines in the lounge.)

Yours Truly: "Ok, put the cursor on the link and click your left mouse button."

User: (rummaging noise) "I can't find the left mouse. I think someone may have taken it."

(More banging from the server room...)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Must Be Getting Mellow In My Dotage...

Sydney Olympic Park is just chock-full of bicyclists every flippin' day.
And I'm talking these lycra-clad bags of douche and their $8000 carbonfibre-and-unicorn-earwax bicycles, racing around the 6km perimeter road- not your typical two-wheeled tourist-types.

I have nothing against bicyclists in general, but these morons think they own the roads hereabouts...


(This is A moron, but not THE moron.)

Edwin Frack Boulevard is a four-lane split median road, and at 7AM there ain't no one on the road except the occasional idjit like me, and a boatload of LWAHs (Lycra-Wearing AssHats) that come zipping by every couple minutes.

Long story short, at around 7:15 AM I was in the midst of parallel parking in front of the hotel to pick up my co-worker, when a Lance Armstrong wanna-be comes racing by- 

"Learn to f*cking park, asshole" he shouts as he goes past.
Really, I was just pulling into the space...
You felt I needed insulting because you had to move over a bit on the (very empty) road?

Now... (And this is where the title comes from...)
All I could think of doing at this point was...



(...Wait for it....)



Finish parking the car and waiting for my man Andy show up so we could get to work...
(I know. Surprised me too.)

There was a time (not too long ago) that Billy Bicycle would have felt the tap of a front bumper sending him off to a high-speed impact with a eucalyptus tree, or perhaps a car door might be opened in front of him, and I'd still have been back to pick up Andy and make it to the site on time.
Billy would get that special feeling- the kind of feeling you get as you ride to the hospital with your teeth in your pocket.

But not this day...

I must be slipping. Getting mellow.

Gah...

What the hell is happening to me?

Tech Support: Notes from the Battlefield

From the "Too stupid to own a computer" file:


(While walking a User thought a procedure in Windows)

Yours Truly: "I need you to right-click on the document."
User: "Ok."
Yours Truly: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
User: "No."
Yours Truly: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
User: "No."
Yours Truly: "Ok... Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
User: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

(That banging noise coming out of the server room is me, putting dents into the side of the server rack with my forehead.)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

This Pretty Much Sums Up Oz...

(Lifted from Imgur)



I'm never leaving the office again.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE