Free Associations: Porn Names

I occasionally see names of things or places and it occurs to me that it would make a great character name in a book...
One of my favorites I see all the time is on the cars at the local high school - Fletcher HS in Jax Beach. The lacrosse players (and family, girlfriends and fans) have a sticker on their cars reading simply "Fletcher Lacrosse".
Great name. I'm going to use it in a book some day...

I also see place names on the highway signs on interstate exits and have similar thoughts-
Tyler Lindale (on I-20 in Texas) was a memorable one.

Porn Names have always been a source of amusement-
On the old Seinfeld TV show, George Costanza wanted his porn name to be Buck Naked.
(And there is probably a guy named Buck Nekkid in western Oklahoma who wants to change his name to George Costanza...)

The thing that recently occurred to me was that the absolutely BEST porn name already in common use and pretty much every one knows it...

That would be - Magic Johnson

How did I miss this for so long?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Current Events

So... the original plan for July was for Pete and I to take off on our motorcycles on July 1st for a one-month cross-country extravaganza, stopping (and trying to avoid arrest) in Biloxi, Baton Rouge, Austin, Taos, Las Vegas, San Diego, Ensenada, Nogales, Houston, New Orleans and then back home.

First, I had that little fairing-breaker at the end of June, then the kitchen remodel.

So instead of a relaxing trip with Pete,  I've been in Phoenix, Boston, Austin, and Durham NC...

On the whole, I have probably been fortunate that work-stuff has been cropping up.
(Except that my left leg looks like it fell into a wood chipper, but that's a different story.)
Not sure I wanted to traverse the desert on a motorcycle twice in one month. In July.
(I know, I'm a big pussy. Sue me.)

The fair and lovely DH just shot me a txt basically implying I've gone radio silent again...

To tell the truth I've just been busy as hell and things aren't slacking off...

For instance...
I was in Phoenix a couple weeks back-
While there, I got a command performance to help do an install near The Mothership in Durham NC. The project has been bandied about for weeks- but someone finally pulled the trigger.
It went something like this:

Boss: "The moved up the install- has to be done by the morning of the 25th. Just go straight to RDU from Phoenix."
TBG: "Gah."
Project Manager from The Mothership: "Oh, By the way- we can only work between 7:00pm and 7:00am to do the install."
This he says a day before I leave Phoenix to go to NC.

So, we lose a day of install, plus we have to change phase to do the install.

Once on-site in NC time doesn't stand still while I am trying to sleep through the housekeeping staff banging on my door- ignoring the DND sign AND the instruction to the front desk NOT to clean the room.
No... I get emails and phone calls all through the day...
Most notably-

Slaw: "Hey- can you go to Toronto next week?
TBG: *sigh* "Sure."
(Slaw wouldn't ask unless he's in a bind. So I'm heading to Toronto next week.)

And-

Boss: "Hey- we need you to go to Singapore to do a site survey."

 AYFKM?

 Boss: "They want you to go in mid August..."

 I have issues with this...

1. Singapore in August- For Constant Readers who are geographically challenged, Singapore is right (and I mean like 1.3 degrees) off the equator.
I think I'd probably rather be on the motorcycle in the desert.

2. Mid August is The Perfect Child's 21st Birthday.
I have already been assigned Designated Driver and Protector of Virtue for The PC, The Woman and the Gaggle of Celebrants who will be in town for the festivities.
Word around the campfire says that St. Augustine is ground zero for a weekend of overindulgence. Film at 11.

3. I also have a gig lined up in the Canary Islands for Aug 24.


Well... Someone else (Hector the Connector) can do the Canary Islands.
And I got them to push back off the from the Weekend of Debauchery in St Augustine.

But I'll have to bring a towel 'cause I'm going to perspire like a R. Kelly on a playground as I do this survey...

So... Back to the Mothership-

We're working in a small gymnasium, installing cable and equipment -
Everything going to plan... All cables and hardware work right the first time.
(Very unusual.)
I'm running extra cables for additional hardware and make a misstep and put my left leg  knee-deep into a air handler plenum. The kind that is constructed out of the metal studs that are lined with broken glass and fish hooks...

So it looks like I have been a chew-toy for a Great White, leaving pools of blood randomly around the site...
We finally finished, clean up and head out around 4 am on Friday.
I get a couple hours sleep then start driving back to Jax.

And the phone rings-

Slaw: "Hey- WTT needs someone to go to..."

TBG: "Just so you're not surprised - I've not had a whole lotta sleep in the last week and I'm about 2 quarts low on blood. Before you ask- see if you can find someone else to do whatever it is you need. If you have absolutely NO OTHER OPTIONS, I'll do it-
But it will cost you."

They found another option...

While I was away my new fairings arrived from Guangzhou! Yay!

So I've been spending a blissful couple days at home working on the FJR, doing the fit-up on the new fairings, rewiring the lights, installing new farkles and generally cleaning up the old girl before buttoning up the new Tupperware on her.

Between that and attending meetings about Singapore (Really? You're booking me on Malaysian Air? You're shitting me, right?") and NBA stuff, all is right with the world.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Reading Material + Newly Acquired Technology

 A post over at PISSED's site, The Feral Irishman got me to thinking about my recent intake of The Printed Word.

 Over the past few months I have had ample time to get some reading done...

Just over a year ago, The Woman Who Knows Most Things picked up the Game of Thrones series, and as she finished one she passed it along to me...
In addition, The Perfect Child had been pushing the Hunger Games at me for a while now.  I wrote a few months back about observing travelers in airports reading their copies of the current NYT bestsellers as they waited for their flights...

The thing that has really increased my reading was the purchase of a iPad...
The PC and TWWKMT both have Kindle Fires, but after exhaustive research I decided there was more software for my needs for the iOS platform, so I picked up the new version a week or so after they were released.

I have not been disappointed with my purchase...

There are a huge number of apps for almost every conceivable purpose...

Tropical Storm Beryl, about to the kick the snot out of North Florida....

I particularly liked this storm tracker... Keeps me informed on when to run for cover...

I've been using it for photo-documentation, email, research and of course, reading.

In addition to picking all the Game of Thrones, Hunger Games and Stieg Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo books, I also raided the Project Gutenberg archives.

I'm starting to question the need to lug my laptop around on my travels...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

"Hey Julius-

...what's buggin you, man?"
"I don't want nobody around me like yon Cassius, for he has that lean and hongry look. Dude looks like a hound dog in search of a charcoal-broiled sow's snout."

The Ides of March
Beware them.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Guilty Guilty Guilty

(Sitting in Port Columbus Airport, crossing my fingers that there are no delays due to the weather, surfing the web on the free WiFi...)




For anyone who appreciates education & humor in the form of intentional irony:

William Safire’s Rules for Writers

• Remember to never split an infinitive.
• The passive voice should never be used.
• Do not put statements in the negative form.
• Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
• Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
• If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
• A writer must not shift your point of view.
• And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
• Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
• Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
• If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
• Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
• Always pick on the correct idiom.
• The adverb always follows the verb.
• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Hey Twihards!

(This includes you, PC...)




TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Headgear

They say it's all about The Hat...



So if that's the case, what are we to make of this?:


"We shall consult the Oracle. Come back in 10 days for our answer.
Bring mice. And a canned ham."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Random Items

A couple items while I wait for my arena contact to arrive...

From Phoenix:
From a label on a bottle of tequila I was served from a couple weeks ago.
(Pretty sure it was tequila... We were eating big salads...)

Onward, into the fray with my trusty battle-speculum aboard my war-chicken!

I really like the whimsical imagery...

From Berlin:
Oooh.
I want one.

Actually I want two...
One for each foot.


Really? A really sporty Smart car?
It'll never make it over here.
The catalytic converter they'd need to install would double the weight of the car.



From the WTF File:
Wild Thing



From the "I'm NOT OCD, Leave me alone!" department:
This drove me nuts for 4 hours.

The strokes don't match...


This typeface designer must be taken  out and shot...
THE ARMS OF THE STROKES HAVE TO MATCH, DAMMIT!


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Location Location Location

Huh. So that's where they come from. Who knew?
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Family Portrait Gone Weird

This is thought-provoking on several levels...
1. Is that a dog or a giant rat-thing?
2. A pink Ruger 10/22? Is that because of the rat-thing?
3. Posing in the bathtub?

It's a puzzler, I tell ya.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Bridgestone Arena - Backstage

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Practice Round Banter

The stress level is dropping out here at Secret Squirrel Central.

Our volunteers are getting back in the swing of things, data is flowing apace and all is well in Augusta.
The world, as Mr. Steinbeck would have said, is spinning in greased grooves.

Our topics of discussion, when we are not kvetching about software bugs undocumented features or hardware issues, range far and wide.

For instance...

SGK: "Hey, think about this... Macadamia Nut M&Ms."
Roach: "Walnut M&Ms. That's brain food."
SGK: "Pecans. Pecan M&Ms."
Yours Truly: "Hell, they have almond, peanut, peanut butter, dark chocolate...You'd think they could do macadamias.
Roach: "Yeah, but there'd only be 2 in a bag and they be six bucks per bag."
YT: "They had those great krispy M&Ms a while back. Loved those."
SGK: "PB&J M&Ms That'd be awesome."
YT: "I'm waiting for them to figure out how to fit an Oreo inside an M&M."

Amateurs discuss Strategy;
Professionals discuss Tactics;
Statisticians discuss where the next meal/snack is coming from.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Happy Chinese New Year

Welcome to the Year of the Rabbit...

"...Law and order will be lax; rules and regulations will not be rigidly enforced. No one seems very inclined to bother with these unpleasant realities. They are busy enjoying themselves, entertaining others or simply taking it easy. The scene is quiet and calm, even deteriorating to the point of somnolence. We will all have a tendency to put off disagreeable tasks as long as possible."

Uh... Yeah.
Seems like the Bunny hasn't been watching the news about Egypt.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Fallen Princesses

I'll bet that houseful of dwarves looks pretty nice about now.

Belle is trying to avoid becoming the Beast.

A whole new world, eh, Jasmine...

How's life in the fishbowl Ariel?

I guess Rapunzel's tower was built on a landfill.

(I know, cancer, not funny. It's not supposed to be funny.)

Proxi, getting in the Halloween spirit

You Missed One

There is guy here at A Nice Golf Course whose job title is, amazingly, Snake Guy.

All this dude does is go out and round up all the legless reptiles, least they frighten the gentry during The Tournament.

I was back on Hole 15 and a call came in on the radio from one of my guys (a yankee, go figure) on Hole 2 that there was "a huge snake on the fairway" and we needed to call Grounds Control and get The Snake Guy out there tout suite since ZOMG yon serpent was getting ready to wreak havoc on the patrons and guests.

Well...
15 is hell-and-gone from Hole 2, especially when there is a Tiger 'twixt the two...
But JR and I made it over to Hole 2 before they were able to mobilize Snake-One and I scooped up the offending Pantherophis guttatus and released it over behind the SAPC trailer.


...But not before SGK shot a picture of me and the horrific worm.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Current Events - Last Week.

It was a relatively easy week, especially in comparison with the previous six weeks that I spent in Van-coover...
Got home Friday, chilled out on the weekend and caught up with latest gossip and news with The Woman Who Knows Most Things and The Perfect Child.

Back in the office on Monday to start dealing with post-Olympic stuff, equipment repatriation, missed emails, expense reports (still undone- but I'm trying...Really!)
Tuesday I was in Augusta at A Nice Golf Course do do some prep work and made it back for Shrimp Wednesday at Gene's.
That was the highlight of the work week, as Jingalls and I invited T-Rav to Lunch, he felt it was necessary to bring along the pussies his posse of ne'er-do-well commie-liberal-pinko cohorts... Glyn, Chris and a couple other weasels. I think T-Rav was concerned for his safety.
Dude, had we planned your demise, your little skirt-wearing co-liberals wouldn't have made a difference.
T-Rav was running in the River Run this weekend, so we couldn't abuse him too much.

Friday found me running some other errands, including a trip to Green Cove Springs to pick up an under-aged female named Lola for rather nefarious purposes.

She had a rather central role in our plans for the weekend...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I know... I know...

I've been lax.
I have a buncha stuff to post- bear with me.

Meanwhile, a video for you:

Obama at the Bat


Enjoy

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

More WAP Names

Evil Penguin, Seen You Naked and Zohrek the Inhospitable.


Get Off My Lawn....

Nice.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What Has It Gots....

...In it's naaaasty little pocketeses!


JayG, Marko the Munchkin Wrangler and Scotaku have pushed this little meme along, so as I wait for the Code Monkey to arrive, I'll give it a go...

Emptying out my pockets... (wow- 11; thank Ghod for cargo pants)
Let's see what I have...

(Top to bottom, left to right...)
Wallet, Leatherman Fuse, small zip tie, RJ45-to-RS232 adapter, AA  Batteries, my 2009 Gallery notebook (22 pages left), Sony 4g SD media card, Patriot 8g Flash USB Key, Kingston 4G SDHC card,  Atwood SuperBug, NBC Vancouver lapel pin,  4 RJ45 modular ends, electrical tape, LED flashlight, laptop lock key,  big-ass Sharpie, spare stylus, Chinese dual-SIM phone, TMobile HTC DouchePro2, USB Cable, S&W Tanto Lockblade (Gibbs Rule #9), $5 CAD, $5 USD, wetwipe, hotel key.
(My two always-carry writing pens are stuck in the collar of my shirt, not in a pocket.)

Having a ton of crap in my pockets is nothing new- Mom always said that if I fell in the water I'd sink straight to the bottom with all the stuff she'd find in my pockets.

No overt personal defense items... No reciprocal rights in Canada for my Florida permit... I'll have to rely on my pocket knife and my charming personality if I get into A Situation.

So... What're you carrying?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Blue Moon for New Year's Eve

There will be a blue moon for New Year's Eve...

Most Constant Readers will probably already know that a Blue Moon is when there is 2 full moons in the same month...
It happens fairly rarely, hence the expression "Once in a Blue Moon..."


(Click for full size view.)

I missed the optimum moment for tonight's moonrise, but still got a good shot thanks to JR Uncle Fester alerting me to the spectacle...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to get a better shot.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE