Saturday, April 18, 2015

Friday Night Lights

Been quite a week...
The equipment trucks returned from Augusta on Tuesday and Wednesday and we had our hands full offloading and repatriating the hardware for repacking and shipping to the next events...
I overdid it, of course- trying to keep up with the kids and interns in the Events department carrying cases and pushing our hardware racks...
Nothing a handful of non-steroidal anti-inflammatory pills couldn't solve...

Friday rolled around and with it a much-looked-for meeting-
Old NFO was in town- and had a free evening in his schedule.

We met up out in Orange Park, at Whitey's Fish Camp, tucked into some tasty seafood and the conversation flowed like good wine...

Old NFO is a kindred spirit- we have similar but different experiences- especially when it comes to travel... We had a 1,001 stories about airlines, airports and the myriad of morons that try to thwart our wishes as we pursue our diverse jobs...

OldNFO: " we finished up, the Swedes parachuted in and built us a runway on the ice and we took off back to Iceland!"
TBG: "Iceland- wow. Never got there, but I did freeze my ass off in Finland once... We were drinking heavily and..."

As our conversation wandered I bored him with the stories from my youth and my days flying milk runs and Part35 charters out of The Flight Department in Marathon, and later how I traded bumps bruises and 2 years living in the mud blood and rum at Ft. Davis in Panama for my sheepskin at UF, to the unfortunate incident in Cienfuego.
I got to enjoy his stories about REAL flying... Everything from old DC3s to my favorite rotary craft- the Hughes 500D "The Loach", and some pretty esoteric Russian aircraft encounters.
Time flew by-
Eventually we called it a night- I offered to arm-wrestle him for the check, instead we scared the crap out of the waitress as we both made a mad grab for the bill.
Youth (such as it is) and ambition won out, I got it, but it was a close race.
(Hey- my town, my check. Next time I'm in DC, you can get it.)

In reminiscing about my days down in Panama, after I got home I had to go hunt up some uncomfortable hunks of metal I received as remembrances from my days down south...
It took some doing, but I finally found them...

 (Left: From my CO from MCDEC (now MCCDC), the center one was from a Navy REMF on our team and the coin on the right was from the guys in EF21 for their pet nerd.)

I assume the work we did and the hardware we used 30 years ago is probably still classified... even though the Samsung S5 in my pocket is smaller and does a better job at the same tasks... but 30 years ago, eh?
A lot of work went into the equipment we used, and a lot of people had some pretty high stakes in the results.
But I digress...

We stood outside talking - I had a 40 mile trip in a light drizzle so I wasn't in a hurry got start, and we stood outside talking for a bit-
OldNFO will be back in town off and on in the next few months- More work at NAS Jax.

We need to nail down a date, maybe have a BlogShoot for folks in the general area...
Maybe something in North/Central Fl- like the range in the Osceola National Forest-
We'll bring everything that goes boom, and maybe even the Caja China and roast a pig for lunch... A good time will be had by all.

So... Who's in? McThag? Borepatch? Famous Robb Allen?


Wednesday, April 15, 2015


All these big dogs love me! I'm so happy!


Don't You Think Hillary Looks Tired?

I know this won't get much in the way of widespread attention, except for you 8 or 10 Constant Readers, but I'm going to say it anyway...

Given the scandals of the original Clinton White House (from Whitewater, Vince Foster, Monica and impeachment, including the petty shenanigans like removing all the 'W's from the keyboards before vacating the premisis), the current up-to-his-big-ears controversies and outright lies and prevarications, and the crap Hillary pulled as SecState (do I need to enumerate them?)... And the ensuing lies, deceit and chicanery following her resignation, why the absolute F*CK does anyone think she'd be an honorable and forthright Chief Executive?

Is the average American that gullible?

Ghod I hope not...

Human Shaming


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Back, Again

Sorry about the long hiatus-

Just returned from another successful golf project at that nice club in Georgia.

I had a change of position this year-
Up until this year I was Project Mangler and Keeper of the Pile, this time I was a Volunteer (taking vacation to attend) and Staff Wrangler...
Fun fun.

For reference, to get an idea on how this project has waned and waxed over the year,
this is the Wall of Shame in my office:

The signatures are all the volunteers that work on my 12 years on the project...

Still some of the same tasks and responsibilities- but an added perk this year-
I'll get to play the course this year during the play-day for volunteers in mid May.

It'll be kind of wasted on me... I can golf, but I'm atrocious.
(I'm so bad, the only club I've needed to get re-gipped is my ball retriever. Heh.)
So we'll see what happens.
(And no, I can't give my slot to someone else... I tried- no joy, so don't bother asking.)

So, on to bigger (but not better) things...

Let me leave you with this...
From our "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" File:

TBG - - ΜΟRONS Everywhere

Friday, April 10, 2015

The States - Part X - Finally finished! Ooh rah!

"My State" by a Local

Best gun laws in the US.

A/k/a Starbucks.

Cheese and Labor Unions

West, by God...

I hear Kansas is nice and flat...


Friday, April 03, 2015

The States - #9...#9...#9...

"My State" by a Local

...Jack Daniels for Governor!

Don't mess...well, you know the rest...

(Old Money and political corruption will do that for you.)


Friday, March 27, 2015

The States - - #8 in the Collection.

"My State" by a Local

Oklahoma IS OK

...and rain.

Fuck Interstate 76.


Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Guilty Pleasure: BEERunch & Cards Against Humanity

The Woman Who Knows Most Things, the Perfect Child and Yours Truly have enjoyed playing Cards Against Humanity while having brunch, or really BEERunch at World of Beers on Sunday mornings...
(Bottomless mimosas, beermosas, or bloody Marys, and a breakfast entree for $20. #Winning!)

Cards Against Humanity is warped and twisted... Playing it with the Wife and Daughter is an eye-opening experience.

For instance:
I had to define (gently) the term 'bukakke' to keep the PC from doing a Google search on it...

Wow. Interesting game...

Friday, March 20, 2015

This Is Not The Time... Racial Lecturing @ Starbux

Starbucks "RaceTogether"

"It's 'MacchiAto', not 'MacchiatO'

Yeah, when I want to spend 4 bucks on a mediocre cup of joe, I go to Starbucks...

Now if one is so inclined, you get earful of entitled bohemian blathering at you about racial equity in addition to your overpriced java.

Entitled Bohemian Barista: "While (pick appropriate hipster name: Leonora, Asher, Sadie, Willa, Roscoe) makes your doubleshot, half-caf-half-soy skinny latte, would you like to chat about race relations?"

Yours Truly: "Well, if you want to.... Do you believe that Kanye West accurately reflects the black man's perspective and societal aspirations, especially when he tweets pictures of Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass?" 

Yeah, that's what I thought.
Shut your piehole and ring up the next pretentious asshole in line, princess.


Joke Time...

Q: Why did the Blonde fail her Calculus exam?

A: She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a Bio major she felt it would be in her best interest to put more emphasis on the Bio test because she was only taking Calc as an advanced elective credit which would not effect her major GPA.


The States - #7 in the series.

"My State" by a Local

"What exit?"

"It only seems like a shithole because of most of New Jersey works here."

'Hi' in the middle and round on both ends.


Friday, March 13, 2015

The States - #6

"My State" by a Local

'Freak Bear Accident' is the name of a local band in Bozeman.

Next stop- the Bronze Age

Minot, why not?

Everyone gets their Federal agricultural subsidy check subscription along with their birth certificate. (But you can trade it in for a meth lab operator's license)


Thursday, March 12, 2015


I had a Kamikaze trip to the great Northeast on Wednesday.
A quick trip to the casino in Uncasville CT and back to Jax in what should have been a bit over 24 hours, but instead dragged on interminably.
United still sucks, still can't get a plane off the ground on time, still has the worst customer service, and is just horrible overall. But I digress...

So I spent an overabundance of time waiting - waiting for people to arrive, for meetings to start, waiting to get info I needed, waiting for planes to arrive, waiting for planes to board, waiting for planes to take off, waiting... waiting... waiting.

I always have a stack of reading materials on my iPad and my phone (in case the iPad battery goes flat) and didn't feel like getting back into the Aubrey-Maturin British naval series again, and had breezed through most of the collected John D. MacDonald 'Travis McGee' books in the relatively recent past...
I needed couple fast-but-fun literary diversions so I dug into the "reads" folder on the iPad and read two pieces while wearing my United Airlines-provided shackles of durance vile...
A favorite from my sordid youth- Bester's The Stars My Destination which I had downloaded and read a couple years ago, went down smooth...

Great 1950's pulp sci-fi. Go. Read.
Bonus points: Read the serialized version in Galaxy magazine.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

On the DC to JAX flight I devoured an H. Beam Piper & John McGuire short story - Lone Star Planet I pulled off Project Gutenberg, another '50 vintage scifi story.
Political intrigue, Texas, alien invasion, and SuperCow. 
What's not to like?

I'm saving the other HPB quick read Four Day Planet for then next time United has me bent over the back a couch... This one includes a plucky kid reporter, corrupt unions, shipwrecks & monster hunting. A great way to occupy one's mind, since thoughts of  homicide come unbidden as you wait through airport delays...

When I don't have a good read at hand, the thoughts that this particular Gate Agent would make an excellent centerpiece at a funeral just swirl through my gray matter with an awful vividness...


Must be time for my Prozac.


(Maturin! Damn you autocorrect!)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Airport Musings

Waiting at JAX to see if my flight will:
A) depart on time
B) depart late
C) get canceled
D) something else horrible

So I watch Airport-CNN. (spit)

I'm wondering about the Hillary Email Brouhaha and her adamant refusal to turn over the server for digital forensic investigation is actually a pretty issue to solve.

We can ask either the NSA or the Chinese for a copy of all the data...
Borepatch is right- given the probable level of incompetence on the part of whoever set up the system, smart money says that the server had the digital equivalent of a flashing neon "Welcome- No ID - No Credit Check" sign out front...

I bet any tourist could get a complete download of the files at Xiu Shui Jie in the  Beijing bootleg digital market on two non-copy protected DVDs for 150rmb.

TBG - travelin'

Friday, March 06, 2015

The States - #5

"My State" by a Local

Horror stories and lobsters. (And the seafood isn't too bad either.)

Welcome to Detroit - 4 Bedroom houses for $3,000. Bring your own AR15 modern sporting rifle.

Being a Vikings fan means never having to say 'I'm sorry'.

Show me.

I love Mississippi- it means I'm almost to New Orleans.


Thursday, March 05, 2015

Nimoy Tribute

Sadly, Leonard Nimoy has ceased to Live Long and Prosper.

Perhaps you've seen that Trek fans in Canada are defacing their local bumwad with user art depicting the Pointy-Eared One?

The Bank of Canada is pissed about it...
'Star Trek' fans told to stop 'Spocking' Canadian $5 bill

"Bank of Canada executives have urged Star Trek fans to stop a campaign to deface currency as a tribute to late actor Leonard Nimoy."
This should have been expected since Canada (and specifically Alberta) is where all the Vulcans live anyway...



Friday, February 27, 2015

Running Commentary On The Way In To The Office

What the actual fuck....?

You're looking for that pedal on the right, there, Speedy...

Yeah- that Obama sticker on your hybrid is kinda faded. You need a newer indicator that you're a douchebag...

Don'tchangelanes-don'tchangelanes-don'tchangelanes-don'tchangelanes-DON'TYOUFUCKING CHANGELANES!! Fuck! You changed lanes!

Shit- is that a cop?

Oh, you are such a moron!

Really? 35 in a 55 zone?

Everyone keep driving...that's right... Keep the traffic moving...

(While waiting in the turn lane)
Stop texting and watch for the light to turn green, dumbass.
Gorrammit! LET'S. GO. ASSHOLE. ifimissthisfuckin'lighti'mgonna... SHIT!

Jeebus, some people need killin', and you're one of them.

TBG -  Two-wheelin!

The States - #4 in the Series

"My State" by a Local

But their jelly is awful on toast.

Low gas prices=worst roads in the US.

Everyone commits 5 felonies a day.

...Or confiscate it.


Saturday, February 21, 2015

Old Money Dog - In Case You Were Curious... he got that way.



Friday, February 20, 2015

So Close...

...and yet so far.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Old Money Dog has needs too...

Jeeves needs to take one for the team...

Either let him finish, or at least fake an orgasm, Jeeves.


The States- #3 in the Collection

"My State" by a Local

Home of falsified birth certificates and dope-smoking Presidents.

Not sure of where this is.

"Other Stuff" =  World-class political corruption and organized crime

So untrue. They have St. Elmo's and the Broad Ripple Brewpub...