Wednesday, August 24, 2016

You Talkin' To Me?

Names and monikers use in addressing me during the Rio Games

Hey!
Big Jay
John (used by those who don't know better or know me by legal paperwork. Like cops and attorneys.)
Big Man
Big Fella
Bigg'un
Yank
Hey- IDS guy...
Hoss
Harley Davidson
Famous / Amazing!
NBC
Big American
Gringo

 
I'm sure there were some terms/names used about me- but as long as they were polite when they actually spoke to me, I didn't rip anyone's arms off.

TBG - Travelin'

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Aussie Olympic Humor

Great bit, especially is you can decipher the Aussie slang...


"Ooh. Sailing's started."
"I'll call the wife and tell her I'll be late!"

And...

"Is there a big statue of Jesus in Rio? Why don't they show us?!"

TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by a Boomer]

Music For Strike & Repack


Great stuff I've been enjoying-



A lot of this stuff is very reminiscent of Squirrel Nut Zippers...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, August 20, 2016

He Has A Way With Words, Don't He?

Lochte puts down his pencil...
"Here. Read this." he says to his publicist.
"I like, went to this club. Was cray cray, I was so wasted. We got some dude to take us back but I had to piss so we stop at this shithole gas station. Fucking doors locked man. Fuckers aren't stopping me though, I'm murican. So I kick down that door with one unstoppable roundhouse and we go piss on the floor to show them who's boss. Wouldn't you know it, some rent a cop starts yellin some jibberish at us and waving a gun. I'm like bro, I had to piss, door had to go. He just kept going on his voodoo speak so I tossed dude a couple hundo's and bailed. Now dudes all pissed that I went and told everyone how awesome I was. Haters. So yea murica, I'm sorry bro."
"Uh, Ryan... You wouldn't mind if we edit this just a little bit? Just so it reads a little better?"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
From Lochte's Instagram account 
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Let's analyze, shall we?

[1] "I want to apologize"
He's being a weasel. The "I want to" takes the force from the "apologize."
If you want to apologize you simply apologize. Dressing it up minimizes the effect.


[2] "for my behavior last weekend —"
This phrase, followed by the dash, is crucial.
It specifies what behavior he's apologizing for. He should be apologizing for being an obsequious asshole. But, no- he apologizes for getting caught.

[a] "for not being more careful and candid in how I described the events of that early morning and "

At the same time he's putting the focus on his description of the events, not what the events actually entailed- namely, drunken buffoonery and the lies he told about it- he sneaks in that the events occurred during the "early morning" (i.e., tired, after a night of drinking) in order to justify the supposed imprecision.
But remember that he told his lies much later, including media interviews and in official testimony to police. Post-interview damage control from the PR firm was obvious instruction "Don't lie any more, and don't admit to lying."

[b] for my role in taking the focus away from the many athletes fulfilling their dreams of participating in the Olympics.
This is good. It shows a bit of awareness that people exist in the world besides himself.
But it does nothing to address his core misconduct: the vandalism and deliberately fabricated story (being stopped by a roadblock of assailants purporting to be cops who, among other things, held a gun to his head as he dismissed them with a nonchalant "whatever").
And there's the "for my role in" qualifying phrase- because he can't be taking responsibility for the actions of the group as a whole, or for media's role in shifting the focus away from the athletes.

Fuck this- the entire thing smacks of : "My PR Guy said to say this so you might have some sympathy for me."

The entire non-apology is basically a slab of lawyer-ese in attempt to appease but to avoid acceptance of any kind of guilt.

If he'd written it himself I'd suggest he go work for Hillary Clinton's campaign.
He'd fit right in.
But based on his older Instagram & Twitter content, its obvious that the apology is a carefully crafted piece from a very capable PR firm that probably already has ties to some noisome political organizations.
Probably Trump's, maybe Clinton's too.

TBG - FTMF

Friday, August 19, 2016

Cool Stuff in Rio

There is cool stuff to see, if you can tear your eyes away from the shoreline...
The Australian Women's Swim Team... God bless 'em.
At least they aren't out falsifying police reports or trashing gas station bathrooms...

I'm talking about Portuguese pavement-
The promenades at the beaches in Ipanema and at Copacabana have very iconic designs...

In Copacabana the promenade is about just over two miles long and is covered with a 'wave' pattern designed and implemented in the 1930s.



It's an impressive work, and is a very memorable part of the scenery at Copa.

The promenade at Ipanema is also a very recognizable design...




Portuguese pavement is a very arduous process...
A little research showed a number of examples around the world, but sadly it is becoming a dying art. The exceptionally low pay for apprentice artists, coupled with the fact that the pavement itself is dangerous as hell -it's a little too uneven and is slippery as greased weasel shit when its wet- makes it more and more unattractive to municipalities.

The process is very cool...


The paving stones are prepped by hand.


The designs are placed by hand, carefully following a repeating pattern or implementing a single design in a paved area.
One the design or area is finished the spaces between the stones is filled with a thin cement mixture.


A finished example of Portuguese paving...

Cool stuff...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thanks A Lot, Lochte.

Anyone who goes to Rio (or any Olympic Games) always gets a briefing from their sponsoring group about etiquette and how their actions reflect back on their country.
I know I get them from the Large Broadcast Entity along with the 'Shit You Shouldn't Do' briefing...

So- hand a bunch of young athletes hopped up on adrenaline and 'I'm-a-gold-medal-winning-'Murican' pseudo-steroids and free flowing alcohol, then turn them loose -ostensibly to get back to their lodgings- without some kind of supervision, and your organizing committee is asking for trouble.
Nice work , TeamUSA. Spend some money on some effective professional personnel protective assets... It's a better investment that the $$$ you'll have to shell out for PR and legal fees.

Should they be able to act appropriately on their own? Yes.

Does their bullshit activities make things difficult for all Americans here (and elsewhere)?
You betcher ass.

Is this a isolated experience - Ugly Americans reinforcing stereotypes at the Olympic Games?

Absolutely not.

Sherman, set the WayBack to February 1998...
A number (as yet still unidentified and unpunished) NHL Hockey players, after getting bounced from the competition, ALLEGEDLY broke up furniture, damaged walls, set off fire extinguishers, and broke some windows in the Olympic Village.
The official word was that a few rather light and flimsy chairs were broken through normal use, because the players are big guys and they were just playing cards...
Whatever.
It blew over and no one thinks about it any more.
A little vandalism is one thing. We could call it a victimless crime, but to me criminal behavior is criminal behavior. YMMV.
When, like Lochte & Co, you make up a story involving local thugs, casting aspersions at teh local police by saying police (even fake police) were involved in order to cover up boorish behavior- it will not be swept under the carpet.
Lochte and Co, imbued with confidence, alcohol and the need to urinate decided their needs outweighed the "closed" sign at the gas station, showed their (figurative) asses, then tried to cover things up with with a hastily and poorly-conceived lie...
Nice work, guys. Make all us 'Murican look like assholes...

(Overheard on the shuttle bus last night- an OBS person saying good night to an American media person - "Hey- don't vandalize any gas stations tonight!")

Popular medal-winning athletes shouldn't be doing shit like this...

That's the job of the guys in our Golf division- they get paid to look like idjits.
Let our guys do their jobs.

You guys stick to swimming and carpool karaoke, let the professionals work.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, August 12, 2016

Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus...

Yeah, yeah... Notre Dame has Touchdown Jesus.
/>
That's adorable.

Rio will see your TD Jesus and raise you one Unsportsmanlike Conduct Jesus.




TBG - - [Exit- pursued by a corcovado. (Spanish, not Portugese)]

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Semi-Rio-Related WTF

Conversation in the Scoring Control Center yesterday:
One of the guys I work with stuck his head in my office...
P: "Hey - we gotta change all our user names and passwords on all our machines. That gonna affect your stuff?"
YT: "Not a bit. What's up?"
P: "Fucking social media and basic stupidity. Some moron back in the home office wrote their user name and password on a piece of tape on their keyboard.
Today, she took a picture of a cupcake on her keyboard and posted it to Facebook.
With the username and password in full view."
YT: "Wow. Fired?"
P: "Shoulda been, but she invoked the Hillary defense. She didn't do it with malicious intent, so she's still around."
Jeebus. WTF?
"I didn't mean to do it, so it's okay."
TBG - surrounded by morons.

Monday, August 08, 2016

WTF Rio? - Part 207b

Now that the opening ceremonies are over and I finally have all my equipment in place, I have a little breathing room and can make some comments...

Re: Opening Ceremonies and one-off sports at Olympics.

When did walking in sparkly dress with a thigh-high slit in four inch heels become an Olympic event?


Don't get me wrong- I'm sure it was an Olympic feat for Giselle Bundchen to walk all the way across the floor of the stadium under the gaze of millions. But still...

I'm trying to find out how one gets to be a judge in that event.

Also- In Tokyo there will 6 exhibition sports - only for the 2020 Olympics.
Baseball/softball, surfing, skateboarding, karate and speed climbing.
Being in Tokyo, I wonder about the surfing event- Will they create a wave simulator or some kind of man-made wave system...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rio Navigation and Work Fun

Opening Ceremonies is a delay in my schedule because the TV Truck used for that show pulls up stakes and moves from Maracanã to the OLS (Olympic Stadium) for Track & Field. Once it landed at the T&F stadium I had to go install my last suite of hardware...


I was sitting at breakfast on Sunday planning to go to OLS at 8:30 or so, and the NBC IT guy who had installed the network hardware on Saturday afternoon had words of wisdom:
"Make sure your driver knows the way to the stadium.
Mine didn't, and we were totally lost in a not-very-nice area. The driver finally pulled over and found a guy with a machete, no shirt, prison tattoos, sitting by flaming oil drum full of burning chunks of old automobile tires under an overpass to ask about directions.
I was hiding under the back seat of the van. I knew we were both going to die!"
Dude... Never get out of the boat.
I got my install done with only a *little* shouting and death threats...
I ran into an IP conflict with some other equipment...
Valid IP addresses are few and far between in these parts, Buckaroo.
When the Powers That Be issue you an IP, you fucking use THAT address AND NOTHING ELSE.
I didn't actually hurt the offending technician, or his gear, but I guarantee he won't 'borrow' any addresses ever again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Trolling the interns in the men's room...

(Man, that doesn't sound right...)

The restrooms in the IBC have Dyson Airblade Vs in them in an effort to make the Games greener.


(In this case, the green is the algae growing on the wall near the Airblades- the water is blown off your hands and soaks the wall the the counter-top. Lovely design.

But there is a trick to getting them to activate... You have to approach them a certain way or they don't do anything but sit there looking evil and angry...

I was drying my hands at one and one of the Interns/Runners - a snot-nosed young lad of 22 or so saw me and asked how it worked...

Snot-nosed Young Lad: "Dang. Those things DO work!? I thought is was just an air freshener or something. I  never saw one working before now."
I guess if there isn't an iPhone control app for it, it's not worth using.

I decided to have a little fun with him.

Yours Truly: "What, you haven't got your chip yet?"
S-NYL: "My what?"
YT: "Your chip. Your RFID chip from NBC."
S-NYL: Puzzled look, like a cocker spaniel when you make a squeaky noise.
YT: "Yeah, you need to go down to Engineering and ask for your chip implant. It activates the hand driers, but the really cool stuff they do is things like giving you access to the VIP sections in different venues- really useful in the Gymnastics and the Swimming venues. It also gives you access to the motorpool to get from site to site... Just get in one of the NBC cars and wave your hand over the reader and tell the driver where you want to go.
There's a bunch of other stuff... It'll be in the brochure they give you when they implant the chip...
S-NYL: "Everybody gets them?"
YT: "Yep...If you know who to ask. Just keep it on the down-low. The less people that know, the better."
I gave him the name of a certain Curmudgeon who hates EVERYBODY, especially the interns...
I'll be interested to see how that shakes out...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING STUFFS!

Day One:
Venue: OAS (Swimming)
Tech manager is trying to figure out a cable run for some in-truck services back to the TOC.
(TOC = big room full of operations equipment, especially the network switches that provide all the connectivity for each venue.)
In his effort, he pulls my connection out of the main switch...
WHILE WE ARE ON THE FUCKING AIR.
My phone rings...
EG: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)
YT: "Find your Truck Guy, trace the blue cable from your switch to the patch block, make sure it's still plugged in. Then, look in the TOC for the cable bundle labeled 'GRAPHICS" make sure #6 is in port 45 on switch 2."
EG: "Find the truck guy. Got it."
YT: "Oh shit..." I grabbed my tool back and headed out the door.
Before I got to the shuttle bus, my phone rang.
EG: "Found it. Someone moved the cable."
YT: "Who? Who did it. What moronic motherhumper in the OAS compound is going to wind up with a 4 pound hammer embedded in his forehead?"
EG: "Don't know, but it's fixed."
YT: "Find out." (click)
Day Two:
Venue: ROA (Gymnastics)
We are live on the air... Phone
RJ: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)
Grab my bag and head to the shuttle.
I arrived at the ROA and started to go to the truck, but headed to the TOC instead...
I ran into the Tech Manager...
TM: "I know why you're here... Sorry- my fault. it's fixed now."
YT:  stunned silence
TM: "Yeah, one of the guys in the A-Truck had a problem with his internet connection. Your cable wasn't labeled and I didn't know what it was, so I pulled it."
YT: "Dude, are you fucking kidding me? There are 200 unlabeled cables in here...
You didn't pull them... Why are you pulling mine?"
TM: shrugs shoulders - "I don't know... I just thought it was in the wrong place."
Is it unreasonable for me to expect that while we are ON THE AIR that people don't pull out cables that they don't know what it's attached to?

(Oddly I am reminded of Buckaroo Banzai performing brain surgery:
"You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same.
No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."

I grab a roll of neon-yellow gaff tape and a Sharpie.
"IF YOU TOUCH THIS CABLE I WILL KILL YOU"
There... It's labeled.

I stuck my head in the B-Truck. My guy gives a thumbs up.
Ok...
I head to Diving.
Tape. Sharpie.
"TOUCH THIS CABLE AND YOU WILL DIE"
 Done.
I labeled Track & Field too...
Golf will get one as soon as I go back out there...

Morons. I'm surrounded by morons.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Come Stay in Lovely Media Favela #3!

(Caution- Parody.
No one should infer that the following pictures and descriptions bear any resemblance to the truth or actual conditions. Things are actually really nice and we are having a great time. Seriously.)


Welcome to Rio2016!
We want you to relax and enjoy your stay in Rio as part of the 2016  Games.

We have tried to make you accommodations at our Media Favela #3 as nice as possible with all the comforts of home!


The common area of your room will be suitable for close intimate gathering of friends to enjoy an after-work beverage or an evening of good conversation.


When you retire for the evening, the cool crisp sheets will comfort you as you enjoy a full nights sleep in clean & fresh surroundings. Be careful that you don't oversleep and miss your shift tomorrow!



Out modern plumbing facilities will ensure a clean and sanitary experience for your morning ablutions.


Cutting edge technology will bring you the best electronic experience- great internet connectivity, clear, crisp telephone calls, and a host of TV channels for your entertainment all through our brand-new high-end technical infrastructure.


Meet your neighbors and coworkers from around the world... Make new friends as we all work and play together.


Enjoy a refreshing swim in our lovely swimming pool complex. A nice caipirinha poolside or other beverage will help you unwind after a long day.


If physical activity is more your style, shoot a round of hoops with your co-workers and neighbors.


...Or visit our weight room to have an intense workout and stay in shape.

Please enjoy your stay in Media Favela #3, and be sure to let us know if you need any assistance with your stay... Our lovely and talented admin staff will be happy to help!




TBG - - [Exit- pursued by howler monkey riding a capybara]

Saturday, July 30, 2016

WTF Rio? - Four Wheels Bad, Two Wheels Better - But Very Hazardous

(Caution: Graphic Content Below)

So... Traffic in Rio sucks.
Duh.

Tons of motorcyclists and scooters practice lane splitting and filtering and oddly enough, no one cuts them off or actively tries to kill them for moving faster through the traffic.
(Which is what the legislators try to tell us here in the US.
If you drive down the dividing line between two lanes of traffic, someone will merge into you or intentionally cut you off because it's not fair! Blood in the Streets!")
It works here for the Cariocas- bikers (and scooter..ers) slip through the traffic quickly.

As I sit in traffic, I really wish I could use a bike here...
Thursday we went from the Olympic Park in Barra to Copacabana...
It took nearly 2 hours- for a 42km trip...
Back home that's about a 20 minute trip.
35 tops if it's on surface roads.
I would love to ride a motorcycle here to cut down on travel time.
After a little research on Bike Life in Rio, I've changed my tune.
The scary thing for me is the major inherent danger of riding a bike- Decapitation.

Seriously.

This is a cop bike at the airport- see the antenna looking thing on the handlebars?
It's not for the AM/FM receiver.

During the winter, it's kite season.
And there are two fun pastimes for kids- Kite fighting - like in the book 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini - and when the wind is right, dive bombing motorcyclists as they ride by the favelas.

So most bikes are outfitted with a kite string catcher...






The kite fighting is actually more dangerous to motorcyclists-

Every year there are about 500 motorcyclist injured by kite strings.
Two kites engage in battle, one's string is cut and the kite falls, the string trailing behind it, often lying across a heavily-traveled highway.
So- the motorcyclist travels along and catches a kite string across the neck or face.
Ouch.
Ant to make it worse, it's not just regular string- that would be bad enough- they amp it up here in Rio.
The old practice of coating your string with glue and ground glass (referred to as Cerol) has been outlawed...
but there is new product called 'linha Chilena' containing aluminum oxide and quartz power- and it's a shitload stronger than Cerol...

So this is why you need that antenna on the front of your bike:






Jeebus...

I'll just stay in the car... Forget the bike.

As Chef said "Never get out of the boat."...

TBG

Friday, July 29, 2016

WTF Rio? - Waterboarding the Russian

-or-
No Water Shortage an Media Favela #3

St.Ass got out early last night (Wed Night).
He's been staying very late - anywhere from 10pm to 1 am sometimes...
(Lots to do, little time to do it.)

Burning the candle at both ends was taking its toll on him so he and The Apostle headed out at about 9:30, anticipating a good night's sleep.
A nice serenade from the howler monkeys and the giant jungle insects that are drawn to the lights in the favela we are living in will lull him to sleep - a gentle trip into the arms of Morpheus...

However- up until now, there had been no one in the room on the floor above St.Ass., but that changed on Wednesday.
St.Ass had just gotten to bed when a relentless "Splat...Splat...Splat...Splat...Splat." rang through his room...
The AC from upstairs was dripping down huge heavy drops on to the top of HIS AC enclosure making a massive racket.
On top of that, the water was seeping into St.Ass's room...

So instead of a nice night's sleep he was up most of the night undergoing the dreaded Russian Water Torture-
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat....
Splat...Splat....Splat...Splat.... deep into the night.

About 1am the Mad Russian could take no more.
Heaven save the poor village maintenance staff from the anger of a sleep-deprived Russian.
About 8 of them showed up in the middle of the night to survey the damage and to try to figure out how to fix the problem.
(You, clever Constant Reader, know how to fix this- a small piece of host to direct the condensate out and away from the building... But this is Rio. This is a puzzler to them, and it takes the brain-power of the entire staff to figure out exactly what's going on, and even more imported intelligence to come up with a solution.)

St. Ass comes in at about 10 this morning fuming, and tells us the tale.
"Pictures- Let me send zem to you!" says he.


Here's the situation... We know a little something water, gravity and seepage...



And here is the end result...
And by the way- the water dripping down past that 220volt power circuit?
Might want to make make sure you don't step into the pooling water on your floor- you might be in for a shocking experience.


Really- this is want the combined brainwork of 8 people (approx IQ of 75, maybe 80 total) comes up with?
"We'll put a towel on it."?



"We'll put one on the floor too. That should fix everything.

As your humble correspondent was scribing this little missive, I got a note from The Apostle.
He's also quartered at Media Favela #3.
And guess what? He has the same problem tonight...
He's using a plastic plate to dampen the dripping, but it's a short term solution. A light breeze will send that thing down to the pavement below.




TBG - Drip...drip...drip...drip....

WTF Rio? - US Athlete writes: Dear Olympic Media- Please Change The Narrative

-or-
US Olympic Athlete asks media to lighten up, Francis.

Megan Kalmoe- US Olympic Rowing Team-


(Pic by Megan Kalmoe via ESPN)
I will be traveling to Rio as part of one of the most talented and decorated women’s rowing squads in history.  I am incredibly excited for this trip, and this opportunity.  I have worked for ten years to get to this point and will continue to work as hard as I can over the next few weeks to make the most of this very special and unique opportunity.
But all you want to do is talk about shit in the water.
My request to everyone who is fixated on shit in the water:
Stop.
Stop trying to ruin the Olympics for us.

She really makes an excellent point- The media really just wants the Bleeding Edge headlines.
I will grant you that during the Olympics there are so many athlete stories and profiles that you get sick of them, but seriously- right now it is all "ZOMG-Shit in the water! OMG Favela killings!! Corruption! OMG - Unfinished Athlete Village!" ad infinitum.

Megan makes an excellent point... It would be nice if they could dial it back and talk about the positives.
But they don't.
And they won't.
And it's frustrating for the people who have dedicated so much of their lives to their sports on behalf of our country.

Another money quote:
Think of it this way: every time you sensationalize the poor water quality, or try to get athletes to react to Zika, or chastise the Brazilian people for allowing their government to collapse, you’re not just insulting the Brazilian people. You’re also insulting us, your American athletes.  Every time someone asks an athlete who is not a sociologist, epidemiologist, ecologist, microbiologist, or entomologist their position on water quality or some other crappy negative topic, they’re telling us:
“I care more about your non-expert opinion on these issues than I do on your performance in Rio.”  But –But–
No.
There is no but.
You’re not being helpful, and it’s not coming from a good place.
Olympic athletes are experts on one thing, and one thing only: our performance.  And you damn well know it.  Every time you ask us to shift our focus from our specialty during the one time in a four-year cycle that we get the opportunity to share our expertise with the world, it’s an unnecessary distraction that we as competitors do not need and should not have to deal with from people who are supposed to be on our side.
Every time you steer the conversation away from the athletes and competition and on to things that are outside of our control, you’re suggesting to us: “I think you should probably waste some of your energy worrying about this, don’t you?”
That’s not helping anyone to be faster or perform better in Rio, so why would you do it?  It seems a little mean-spirited and like you don’t care if we do well.  Or that you somehow think that we should not enjoy our trip to the Olympics...

Really- you should go read the whole thing.
She eloquently makes many excellent points.

Also check out the profile ESPN did on her.
It's not easy to be an Olympian...Here.

TBG - Live from the IBC.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

WTF Rio? - Sunday Evening Edition

 The Interns that work for a certain major broadcast rightsholder in Rio, supposedly to get 'experience' and 'business connection' for their future endeavors, are always a hoot.
For a good number of them it is their first out-of-USA experience, and often their first relatively unsupervised work experience.
They are funny though- they tend to flock together when left to their own devices- especially early and late in the day... At the commissary, for instance.

I was sitting one table over from a large gaggle of Interns who were have a grand time this afternoon... Basically, it came down to the fact that if you pair almost nationality and almost any noun, it could be the name of a (deviant) sexual act.
The Interns were coming up with some winners like Colombian Earmuffs, the Angola Keyboard, and the dreaded Peruvian Salad Fork...

Give it a try yourself-
To help you out, I'll give you a start... Pick one from column A, and one from column B.

Column A                         Column B

Mexican
Coffee Cup
Brazilian
Fuzebox
Lebanese
Doorknob
Afghan
Suitcase
English
Binoculars
Finnish
Extension Cord
Russian
Wheelbarrow
Eskimo
Cell Phone
Latvian
Bicycle
Spanish
Sunglasses
Morocco
Fountain Pen
Greek
Christmas Tree
Canadian
Punch bowl
Polish
Chainsaw
Cuban
Earphones
French
Tape Dispenser
Argentinian
Bath Towel
Egyptian
Lawnmower
Japanese
Vacuum Cleaner
Mongolian
Dish Strainer





For instance-
"Hey, I gave my old lady the Greek wheelbarrow earlier tonight...
Boy, she's gonna be pissed when she wakes up."

Enjoy-



 TBG - - [Exit, pursued by a Swathmore Womyns studies student]

WTF Rio? - Sunday 7/24

First-
NBC will be having two Victoria's Secret models as part of their late night coverage.
I guess they are trying to balance Ryan Seacrest...?

Story here: Brazilian supermodels and actresses Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima will join NBC Olympics coverage of the Games of the XXXI Olympiad in Rio de Janeiro

Now, to avoid charges of exploitation and sexism, I chose these pictures of the girls carefully...


Alessandra Ambrosio                                                Adriana Lima

I feel certain that anyone who needs further scientific study of these talented sports broadcasters know how to exercise their Google-fu for more information and pictures.


Next:
Hey, I saw 'Poltergeist'... I'm outta here.


Olympics media village built on 'sacred' mass grave of African slaves
Guess who's living in Barra Media Village #3  Media Favela #3 
Desecrated Graveyard #3?
This guy! And St. Ass, and a bunch of the Usual Suspects...
Anyone know what's the best caliber for irritados fantasmas de escravos?
And where are Scooby and the Gang when you need them?


Seriously- the church they talk about in the article?

This is the view from my balcony.
I will not be exploring up the hillside after dark...

And finally- a Life Pro Tip
Always Arrive Early
I'm one of those people who's philosophy is:
"If you're early, you're on time; If you're on-time, you're late; If you're late, you're fired.

So- I usually try to make an early arrival at the IBC or wherever. Gives me room for uncontrollable delays, a no-stress passage through Mag & Bag... Only took me 5 minutes to pass through the security check this AM.
St. Ass however...

Guess who came in on a later shuttle from Ghost Favela #3?
And now look at Mag & Bag... Heh.
It's been over 40 minutes since he sent me this pic...
He's going to be an angry Russki when he gets here. Heh.


TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by a howler monkey]

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Fearmongering For Rio - Gizmodo Amps Up "ZOMG Olympics R Gonna Die!"

So, a Gizmodo writer (Sophie Kleeman) posts a bunch of "very recently" taken pics (all photos by AP) as representative of the entire city of Rio...
Her story HERE.

Now, I spent 6 hours in various locations around Rio yesterday- in Maracanã Norte, Centro, Copacabana, Ipanema, and down in Barra de Tijuca and lots of small roads and highways in between. I saw shitloads of bad drivers, but the only guns I saw were (probably) full-auto carbines being held at ready by the policia, the federal policia, and other uniformed security personnel. And man, I saw a lot of them.





Now, the pics from the article- My first impression is that the people in the pics have some awesome trigger discipline. Better than most of the folks at my home range, and probably most of the cops in the US. But that's just a first impression.

The other takeaway is that the author seems to think this activity/culture is endemic of Rio.
As I have said before many times- if you show me a horrific picture taken in (name of Olympic Host City), I'll bet you dollars to donuts that I can find similar vignettes in any large US city.

Don't believe the hype, y'all...
Remember 'If it bleeds, it leads' and the Media will do everything they can to get your clicks.
Take it all with a grain of salt.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Bus Bus, No Bus

The first official Olympic Miracle has occurred...

The bus ride from Barra Media Village #3 Media Favela #3 only too 14 minutes this morning.
Yesterday it took 40 minutes, and Thursday it took 45 minutes.
(The miracle is that I was up and out the door before 7:00 AM. The ease of travel is easily explainable as most Cariocas spent all Friday night rollerskating, drinking hooch caipirinhas and throwing up. Only Americanos loucos heading to Barra de Tijuca are up and about at the unGodly hour of 7:00 on a Saturday morning.

TBG - - [Exit- Pursued by a hungry capybara]

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Helpful Hints for Rio from The Czar

After I fired off a cry for help, The Czar (may his toenails never fester) comes through with a timely and accurate assist:

Dear Uncle Jay,
You’re right that the key word for traveling to Brazil is “don’t.” Of course, that makes it sound like you shouldn’t travel there at all; in reality, (1) you shouldn’t travel to South America at all and (2) the word don’t really applies to everything related to Brazil.

This actually is Rio. This may not be one of the Olympic sports, but that doesn’t mean you won’t see this at some venues.
Brazil is basically all the cut-throat lunacy of a Mexican pirate town plunked helpfully in the center of a sweltering jungle, featuring a river filled with creatures that have teeth the size of your aunt and the predilection to eat something her size with them. 
Another feature of Brazil is the fact you can drive about ten minutes in any direction (in theory, as there aren’t nearly enough roads) and find yourself in a stone-age culture equipped with blowguns and cell phones. They will not hesitate to use both. No, the Czar doesn’t mean “either,” he means “both”: they’ll gleefully put a dart in your neck while talking to their agent.
Brazilians, on the other hand, are great for parties. The Czar strongly recommends befriending a Brazilian if you like to eat, drink, roller skate, dance, and basically repeat this every hour until four or five in the morning. These people do not quit.
It has been decades since the Czar went to Rio, though, so let’s see what we remember. Your high school Spanish will be just as useful to you here as when you went to Cozumel, by which we mean totally useless. Brazilians, as you already know, speak Portuguese, not Spanish. Portuguese is an interesting language that’s half-Spanish and half-arrogance. It has a lot of shushing noises, which is linguistically interesting: since Brazilians spend about two-thirds of their day inebriated, they simply modified the spelling of their language to reflect drunken slurs.
Helpful phrases:
“These are not my drugs, therefore you can keep them.” — Não minhas drogas; portanto, você pode mantê-los.
“Waiter, my seafood is threatening me.” — Garçom, meu frutos do mar me ameaça.
“What can I drink that won’t kill me?” — O que eu posso beber que não vai me matar?
“If I drink this caipirinha, will I still have two kidneys in the morning?” — Se eu beber esta caipirinha, vai ainda tenho dois rins na parte da manhã?
“Get me on the next flight home.” — Quero que o próximo vôo do avião casa.
“No, I’m Canadian.” — Não, sou canadense
Don’t worry about pronouncing the Portuguese correctly: just read it loud and in a drunk voice. They won’t understand you, but that’s because they’re too hammered themselves. “Vamos roller skating,” they’ll say in sympathy. 
The Czar is also familiar with Brazilian cooking, being something of a grill-master himself. The Brazilian method of cooking is quite simple: subject thick cuts of meat—python?—to extremely high heat until the food is charred black on the outside and bloody raw in the middle. If you look carefully, you might find some medium-well fibers of meat between the two, but these will be utterly soaked in salt.
The heat is unbearable in Rio, but clothing is totally optional. Actually, the bigger and hairier you are, the less you want to wear. The Czar guesses for a mostly shaved Sasquatch guy your size, Jay, you should wear an eyepatch in place of a thong. Surprisingly, that won’t be the most surprising thing you’ll see someone wear.
Everyone talks about the gigantic statue of Jesus up on the hilltop, but what they don’t tell you is that, over the last 50 years or so, the statue has totally turned itself around so it looks away. It would be a Vatican-sized miracle, but no one admits it because it reflects nothing but shame on the city. Hey, if you had to gaze down on that mess, you’d at least squint.
Anywhere you go, look for the nearest exit and use it.
Fortunately, you’ll be traveling there with fiber optic cables, which is good because you can use them to strangle the hotel clerk when he arrives in the middle of the night to perform his customary turn down service and leave something minty on your pillow. Don’t worry about the body: murder is not only sanctioned there but positively encouraged. If the authorities ask, simply say what all Brazilians say and claim you thought he was a poor person. You’re off the hook, and you can just leave the body where it is. There will be no air-conditioning in your room anyway, and within moments his corpse will be swollen with bottle fly maggots, so dumping it won’t matter.
For the last 50 years or so, the Czar has become increasingly convinced that the Olympics are just a huge joke that we’re not getting…so the organizers are choosing even dumber locations each time. “Let’s pick a disease-infested pithole that’s corrupt, filthy hot, and has no transportation or clean lodging.” “How about Rio? Chicago said no.”
Well...
I do plan on going to the beach at least once...
Let's see if I can find that eyepatch/thong he's suggesting... To Amazon!
(How appropriate!)


Wow. That would look frightening trying to hold in all my dangly bits...

Here's something even MORE better! A steampunk eyepatch/monocle!
This might be the ticket- but...
If that thing isn't the size of a one-quart oilcan, I'll probably be causing a ruckus on the beach at Copacabana...

Stronger, Higher, Faster - forsooth!
TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Monday, July 18, 2016

Life Pro Tips Needed...

Back in 2014 I sent a missive to The Czar over at Castle G, looking for guidance prior to my trip to the Sochi Olympics and got excellent advice which proved invaluable, and in one case, kept me from being shipped off to a gulag...
I saw the coquettish batting of fake eyelashes by a waitress in Rosa Khutor as a 'come hither'; Instead it was actually an advanced case of pink eye and a rather sizable stye causing the eyelid flutter.

I realized my mistake after cornering her in the space between the restaurant's outhouse and the offal pile by the river. Moments later I was having a close encounter with a 10" butcher's blade wielded by her boss/uncle accompanied by 2 members of the FSE.
Needless to say, I racked my brain for a plausible explanation when the advice for The Czar come ringing through- I shouted “გთხოვთ, არ მომეცი მწერები!!" Out of the corner of my eye I caught the flash of in incoming nightstick and everything went dark (or rather darker).
I woke up face-down in a landfill just south of Estosadok, bound in several yards of burlap and bailing wire, and a sign reading "სიკვდილი ამერიკული ღორის ძაღლები".

Since things worked out so well in Sochi I thought I would tempt fate and seek guidance again, this time invoking The Czar to assist me with suggestions for Rio de Janerio.


My petition:
O Most Dread and Awful Czar, Lord of the Flies, Keeper of the Pile, Master of the Steppes, Bringer of Kinetic Military Action, Torturer-in-Chief, Slayer of the Yaw and the Goiter, and Protector of the Holy Cities of Moscow, Chicago and parts of Louisville...

Once again I find myself in need of Pro Life Tips from Your Czarness…
As per usual I have been assigned to work in a place that the mere mention of evokes fear and palpitations in the hearts of travel professionals and dollar signs in the eyes of Personal Executive Protection agents.
Yep- you guessed it. I’m heading to Rio.
Your guidance regarding my sojourn in Sochi was invaluable; Your tip regarding quality horsemeat was spot-on, and I did use გვამი მდინარეში ერთხელ,” very often, given the construction contractors that received bids and money for projects that were either unfinished (tons of them) or didn’t even exist (arguably even a larger quantity).

Your knowledge was so useful I would once again visit the well of your vast wisdom and know-how and draw upon your knowledge of all things dangerous and deadly.

Word around the campfire is to stay away from: 
Beaches at night
Bars bearing any signage 1) in English, or 2) with the words “Nós Matar Turistas” (“We love tourists” I think...)
Downtown Rio
Northern Rio
Southern Rio
Western Rio
(There is no Eastern Rio. Word has it that is was sold to Uruguay and carted away in a truck years ago.)
Also avoid:
Local cops
City cops
Federal cops
Highway cops
Subway/Metro cops
Anyone with a uniform
Anyone without a uniform
Kids
Grownups
Boys
Girls
Girls that look like boys
Boys that look like girls
Anyone with a pulse
Anyone without a pulse

And finally-
Don’t eat/drink:
Meat
Vegetables
Fish
Dairy products
Eggs
Gluten
Starches
Name brand liquor
Off brand liquor
Homemade liquor
Cachaça
Aguardiente
Water (bottled, tap, bay, beach, bath/shower, ocean and rainfall)
Beer
Coke and other ‘soft’ drinks

And the biggest no-no-
Favelas – Don’t even look at the damned favelas.
As a matter of fact, according to the keeper of my leash, visiting a favela, no matter how well armed and capable I am, or the size of my personal protection detail is a violation that will get me a spot on the next plane out. (That’s my escape plan, by the way.)

Help me, Obi Wan Czarnobi
You’re my only hope.

Uncle Jay


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, July 16, 2016

Saturday - Running Thoughts, Continued

In the ol' RSS feed today:

From the Washington Post-

'The FBI has found no evidence so far that Omar Mateen, who killed 49 people and wounded more than 53 at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, chose the popular establishment because of its gay clientele, U.S law enforcement officials said.'

I don't have a whole lot of confidence about anything the FBI says any more.
They couldn't find enough evidence to recommend charges for Hillary Clinton...
I have a feeling they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the sole.

**

A certain broadcast news conglomerate should really stop using Obama's gushing praise of Hillary as a centerpiece...

"“There has never been any man or woman more qualified for this office than Hillary Clinton, ever. And that’s the truth.”
-Obama, at NC speech endorsing Clinton.

Anyone with two brain cells to rub together should see this for the sack of horseshit that it is.
Not even Obama could possibly believe it, narcissist that he is...

Really?

In a January 2008 debate, Senator Obama accused Clinton of being “willing to say anything to get elected.”
He repeated the charge in a radio ad that same month, in which he attacked Clinton as “what’s wrong with politics” and claimed she “will say anything to get elected."

Maybe that is what he's talking about?
That that is what a Democrat thinks makes the best possible candidate?




Friday, July 15, 2016

Hmmm - Running Thoughts for Today

Gosh... in about 2 weeks France was going to drop their "Elevated Alert" status.
Guess they might need to rethink that and exactly what Elevated means...
(Hint:don't ask DHS/TSA)

***

Civil unrest in the US &
BLM and their ilk...

Hard to believe we are in this state 8 years after electing Obama - the self-proclaimed healer of racial unrest.
How is this possible?

**

No doubt Obama will find it difficult to find the motive behind the attack in Nice...
What could it possibly be?

**

On that thought...
If only we could find a prevailing element connecting attacks in Nice, Orlando,  San Bernardino,  Batacan in Paris, Brussels airport, Istanbul airport etcetera ad nauseum.
What could it possibly be?

**
I keep hearing the terrorist attack in Nice being referred to as a "truck attack", as if the truck was the culprit, not unlike any of the AR-platform weapons are responsible for any and all gun violence...

I guess:
Terrorist attack in America = "gun violence because assault rifle!"

Terrorist attack in France = "truck attack"

**

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Obama Prevarications

After listening to Obama preach at me during the Dallas memorial, and tonight's rehash of his bullshit, I went woolgathering a bit...

I'm kind of looking forward to Obama going full-on "War on Guns!"

Look what that did for access to every possible recreational chemical when the War on (some) Drugs started.

It's going to be interesting...

TBG

Monday, July 04, 2016

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

Yeah- I'm gonna call Bullshit on that old saying...

Someone used it in conversation a few days ago and I had to take exception...
There may be instances where it may be somewhat accurate, but on the whole, things that hurt you badly but don't kill you generally fuck you up for long periods of time and leave you debilitated for a longer time...

Things like:

  • Diabetes
  • Getting hit by a truck while crossing a busy road and having your spine crushed and a skull fracture.
  • Contracting chronic Lyme disease.
  • Asthma 

I know a guy down in Australia who contracted Ross River Virus from a mosquito bite during a camping trip in Queensland several years ago and now he needs to be pushed around in a wheel-chair, moaning the whole time about his joints and inadequate ramp access to public buildings and mass transit issues.

TBG - - [Exit- pursued by a LPGA golfer]

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Useful Phrases

A few days back the Dread and Awful Czar posted a lovely bit o' foolscap about not falling into the trap of discussing gun rights with the Anti-Gun crowd.

I used this bit of advice to my advantage and peace of mind in the follow-up to a gun rights discussion... worked like a charm.

While waiting on a delayed flight at SFO today I discovered that the Czar's advice can be applied to many situations, especially in the coming months.

Airport CNN was spewing drivel regarding the Democrat's Bengazhi report...
For some reason the Dems report had many references for The Donald in it, like he had some hand in the actual operation or administration response...
A short discussion started up with the group I was standing with...
An older woman, well dressed and erudite opined:
"I think Trump is the worst thing to happen to this country since Richard Nixon." and waited for approval from her fellow passengers.

My measured reponse: "Honey, I couldn't give a fat rat's ass what you think."
And went back to reading my twitter feed.

That pretty much shut down the political discussion for the afternoon....

TBG- out

Monday, June 27, 2016

Done. Next!?

After 19.5 broadcast hours of skinny dudes in Speedos and jailbait in wet one-piece bathing suits, US Diving Team trials comes to a close.
Indy was, as always, a pleasure.
Worked with some old TV Friends, made some new TV Friends, and had a healthy dose of LeftCoast/NYC gun control stupidity- just enough to keep my blood pressure high enough to ensure failure on my next DOT physical.

I did get an opportunity to visit with my two favorite Broad Ripplers, RobertaX and Famous the Tam... I was able to tear them away from the Sunday morning political talk shows for breakfast at a nice little joint called Taste up north of the city.
We chatted, talked about other bloggers, the TSA, Olympics and other fun stuff...
Meeting up with them is the best reason to visit Indy...
(It sure isn't the $15 shrimp cocktail, amirite?)

So... off to slay my next dragon...
Stay tuned.

TBG [EXIT-Pursued by a Hertz agent...]

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

-or-
Should I mind my own business, or risk life, limb, and look like an idiot?
DATELINE - Indianapolis International Airport. 6:00AM.
Thanks to prior planning and TSA Precheck I made it into the depths of Concourse A with a minimum of drama.
At 6am, people watching is quite entertaining - zombified people staggering around the airport are always fun...
Indy has that famous Airport Carnival Ride, the moving sidewalk...the one that airport employees love to board then stand, blocking the aisle and chatting about how they are getting paid to stand around and ride the magic carpet.
Whilst blocked from getting to my gate at the far end of the concourse...
(And let me take a second to ask about ask why the hell my gate is always at the furthest point from where I enter the airport? I hate Denver because no matter what, I'm at the furthest gate and I have to take a train, 2 shuttles buses and still have to walk 3 or 4 kilometers. DEN sucks. Same with Atlanta. And don't  get me started about Chicago.)
Back to our story- if you aren't walking on the moving walkway, you are actually moving slower than if you are walking on the floor. At least that's how it is for me...
So I have even more time to people watch.
As we are slowly passing a Delta gate in the final stages of boarding, I see a girl slumped over sleeping.
I wonder if she was there because she missed a flight the night before, or if she just arrived very early, or maybe did one of those "I'll stay up all night so I can sleep on the plane" things.
The Delta gate agent does a 'Paging so-and-so, Last call for flight X to Y.'
Now, even though I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I can do the math.
Missing passenger+girl sleeping in waiting area=case solved.
Sadly, way back in my career as a Sports Nomad, I fell asleep at a gate and missed a gate change announcement, and consequently my flight.
Only happens once... After that, you become gun-shy of airport announcements.
Anyway.
I watched the gate agents... They don't even look at Sleeping Beauty. I will give them the benefit of the doubt since she was slumped down a bit...
The Good Samaritan in me pummeled my Inner Cactus and after LaShondagh and Taniqila got out of the way I went back to the gate we had passed.
At the gate desk I addressed the attendants...
"I'm only butting in because I've slept through a flight announcement, you think it's possible the lady you just paged might be the girl sleeping over there?, indicating the girl snoozing 20 yards away.
I was completely expecting some kind of "It's against company policy to wake up sleeping passengers" or something to absolve personal responsibility...
Happily that wasn't the case.
One of the gate attendants, a grandmotherly-type went over and gently woke Sleepy who immediately jumped up and ran to the door of the jetbridge.
I'm glad Fairy Godmother woke her up-
I hate to think of what would happen if I had had to wake her...
I probably wouldn't have been maced,  being an airport and all, but surely screaming and some fingernail-clawing would have probably been in my future, along with a session with the airport police or the TSA.
No twenty something young lady needs to be awakened by an Ogre.
It can only end in tears.
Mine, most likely.
TBG [exit- pursued by a Hoosier]

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Hazardous Duty - Redux

Earlier today I had another discussion with Clueless TV Girl...

I had put on my "edumacation" hat on earlier in the week and came away irritated and disillusioned with idiots from NY/LA, nearly weeping with despair about what is happening to The People.

Fortunately, in the interim I reread a piece by The Dread & Awful Czar over at Castle G...
He says, basically, quit trying to educate them. They don't want to listen and refuse to see any kind of logic, so fuck 'em.

Clueless TV Girl: "I still think all weapons should be banned."
I calmly turned my attention away from the cooler filled with bottles of water and fixed her with my Withering Gaze.
Yours Truly: "I really don't give a shit what you think."
Drop mic. Head back to my lair.

Yeah... That's much better.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Brexit? How about Texit?



TBG - [Exit, pursued by Polanball]

Hazardous Duty

I hate people.
I hate stupid people.
I hate working with stupid people.
I hate working in TV.
Stupid people piss me off.
I hate stupid people that work in TV.
Stupid people are stupid.
People who don't think like me are stupid.

Stupid people can't...
Fuckit.

Actually, I just hate working with people from a certain network that could be considered
Nothing But Communists.

I got into a heated discussion yesterday coming back from lunch with one of the many staffers, this one from NYC but now living in LA. She lamented that the Democratic Sit In had folded without getting a new ban on Assault Rifles.

Ghod. This woman votes.

I attempted to explain that that's not what the Sit-In was about.
I wasn't able to get into the fact that ARs aren't assault rifles and the the 'no-fly-no-buy' is a revocation of due process... (Due process? What's that?)
She went straight to 'Repeal the 2nd Amendment!'...

How do you have intelligent discourse with this kind of person?

Her position is that NO ONE should have any kind of weapons.
Yours Truly: "No one?"
Except the police, in her opinion. (And that works out so well...?)
YT: "And the military?"
Clueless TV Girl: "Yes, only when they are in battle."
YT: "No practice time?"
CTVG: "Well, that too..."

YT: "Know what it's gonna take to revoke the 2nd Amendment?
Why don't you google it?"
Fortunately we had access to Teh Googlage right in front of her.
The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.
(oooh so many werdz. my head hurts!)
Maybe in NYC, LA and Chicago people would be willing to roll over and take it up the ass...
Outside of that, people won't stand for it.
That's why repealing the 2nd amendment will never happen.
That 2/3rds and 3/4ths of States will outnumber NY, CA, CT, MA, NJ, WA, OR.

But
IF you could get that done...
YT: "So... Confiscate all the guns?"
CTVG: "Yes."
YT: "Know how many there are in the hands of law-abiding Americans?"
CTVG: Clickety-click.
CTVG: "270 to 310 million. 150 Million LEGAL gun owners."
YT: "So- gonna send out the cops to confiscate 'em? That's a lot of guns to confiscate."
CTVG: "You said they are law-abiding. They should give up their guns if they are made illegal."

Even if through some kind of chicanery they were able to get the 2nd Amendment repealed, the Common Man (outside NYC, LA & Chicago) won't stand for it.

CTVG: "Send the military?"
YT: "Not allowed. The Posse Comitatus states that the U.S. Military is not permitted to be used against U.S. citizens." (Posse Comitatus? That sounds dirty...)
CTVG: "Well... The President could order it. The military would have them outnumbered. No problem." (Clueless about Exec Orders too I see.)
Really.
YT: "Google 'number of US military firearms'."
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 2.7 million guns. Wow."
How many members of the military?
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 1.4 million front-line personnel."
They're a little outgunned, so to speak.
Even if only 10% of gun owners came out, that's a 15 million man militia...
And the Military is US citizens..
Think they will fire on follow citizens?
Friends? Family?
(Long pause)
CTVG: "But why do we need a 2nd amendment? Why do YOU need guns?"

You're kidding.

Google "non military armed government agencies".


The Internal Revenue Service, with its 2,316 special agents, spent nearly
$11 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) spent $3.1 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment. The EPA has spent $715 million on its ‘Criminal Enforcement Division’ from FY2005 to present even as the agency has come under fire for failing to perform its basic functions.

Federal agencies spent:
$14.7 million on Tasers
$1.6 million on unmanned aircraft,
$8.2 million on buckshot,
$7.44 million on projectiles
$4 million on grenades/launchers. 

The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) spent
$11.66 million including more than:
$200,000  on ‘night vision equipment’     
$2.3 million on ‘armor – personal’
$2 million+  on guns
$3.6 million on ammunition
Veterans Affairs has 3,700 law enforcement officers guarding and securing VA medical centers.

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service spent
$4.77 million purchasing shotguns, .308 caliber rifles, night vision goggles, propane cannons, liquid explosives, pyro supplies, buckshot, LP gas cannons, drones, remote controlled helicopters, thermal cameras, military waterproof thermal infrared scopes, and more.

Similar stories for the Department of Education, Social Security Administration, and National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration.
Fucking NOAA needs Glocks and Shotguns and millions in ammo?

If THESE agencies and officers need them, I need them.

I didn't change her mind- 'GUNS BAD' too ingrained in her psyche.
Maybe a home invasion and a few trips to the range might change her mind.
But I doubt it.

TBG - - [Exit - pursued by a peacock]

Friday, June 24, 2016

Me and My Big Mouth

...Are gonna get ourselves shot, jailed or banned from CVS.

Next door to The World's Shittiest Sheraton is a CVS Pharmacy shoehorned into a very small space.

Given its location (Downtown Indy) and proximity to a busy bus stop, there is a large spectrum of humanity patronizing the place... From the panhandler just outside in his wheelchair with the illegible 'Plese Help' sign to the tourists, business folk, homeless people, politicians,  street people, students and Yours Truly trying to buy Useful Shit, it's a busy place.

I skip the 8-person deep line for the cashier and head for one of the 2 express self-checkout machines...
(Credit card only, no cash, no cash back.)

I hear an urban individual aggressively panhandling everyone in line, one at a time.
His patter... "Hey man, gimme a dolla. Hey man. Need me a dolla fo' ma drank. Gimme a dolla!"
Most folks ignored him and he moved on to the next possible purveyor of 'dollaz'...
Until he got to me.
The end of the line.
He felt he needed to step up his game.
Agressive Urban Individual: "Hey man. Gimme a dolla."
YT: Silence. Continue to scan my items.
AUI: "Hey man. Gimme a dolla. I know you gots a dolla fo me."
AUI: "C'mon Big Man. Don't you got a dolla fo me?"

Now, AUI is a lanky guy, 6', wraparound sunglasses, and an ornate grill with enough metalwork to set off the detectors that control the traffic lights as he crosses the street. The belt line of his 'shorts' is around mid-thigh, and he's wearing (conservativley) $200 worth of Nike sneakers fashionably untied.

I have nothing for this guy.
I have one $20 (nope), about 80 pesos, $10 Australian, 20 renminbei, $5 Canadian and €10 Euro. I doubt he'd see the humor of being handed useless Monopoly monies.

AUI: "C'mon Big Man.  I knows you gots a dolla fo me."
Shit. This dude isn't leaving.

Let me review my possible responses...
1. Continued stoic silence and ignore AUI.
2. Respond:
   a) "I'm dreadfully sorry sir, but sadly, I do not have any any coin of the realm in denominations that would be appropriate for your need. Carry on, my good man."
   b) "Piss off."
   c) "Fuck off, asswipe."
   d) "No. Hit the road."

Let's go with d) since it seems he's not leaving until I respond in some manner, and there're lots of folk in hearing distance.
Besides, trying to stay vigilant as I scan my items is making me do both badly.

YT: "Got nothing for you. Hit the road."
AUI: (incredulously) "Wha?! Wat choo say?"
YT: (Annunciating carefully while still scanning my stuff) "No. Hit. The. Road."
AUI: (mostly to himself but still loud enough) "Hit de road? Motherfucka! I go somepin' in mah pocket fo you. Hit de goddam road." Starts to turn away, back to the main cashier line.
To paraphrase Calvin Candie: "You had my curiousity. Now you have my attention."
Something in your pocket? Really?

I stood fully up, partially turned toward him,  fix him with my Withering Gaze(tm) and loudly respond:
"Excuse me? Something in your pocket for me? ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!"
We now have the attention of everyone in line, the cashier, and more important, the cop and security guard I hadn't seen near the door.
AUI is quickly escorted outside, sans 'drank' and is in serious discussion with 2 uniformed LEOs as I depart CVS a couple minutes later.

This entire episode was A Stupid Move.
I should have shut up and ignored him.
Nothing good was going to happen, and it was blind luck that the rentacop and the real cop were on hand.
AUI could have been a real bad ass and decided he needed to make a statement after being disrespected, and even though I am a big guy, all I had to back up my attitude was a hand with some skin on it.
At home things might have been different but given company policies and my desire to stay employed, I don't concealed carry when traveling on the job.
If AUI actually had a piece and was so inclined, he might have waited around the corner for me...
I really need to curb my propensity for opening my trap at the wrong time.
It's going to bad for me one of these days.

TBG, poolside.