Showing posts with label guns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guns. Show all posts

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Fearmongering For Rio - Gizmodo Amps Up "ZOMG Olympics R Gonna Die!"

So, a Gizmodo writer (Sophie Kleeman) posts a bunch of "very recently" taken pics (all photos by AP) as representative of the entire city of Rio...
Her story HERE.

Now, I spent 6 hours in various locations around Rio yesterday- in Maracanã Norte, Centro, Copacabana, Ipanema, and down in Barra de Tijuca and lots of small roads and highways in between. I saw shitloads of bad drivers, but the only guns I saw were (probably) full-auto carbines being held at ready by the policia, the federal policia, and other uniformed security personnel. And man, I saw a lot of them.





Now, the pics from the article- My first impression is that the people in the pics have some awesome trigger discipline. Better than most of the folks at my home range, and probably most of the cops in the US. But that's just a first impression.

The other takeaway is that the author seems to think this activity/culture is endemic of Rio.
As I have said before many times- if you show me a horrific picture taken in (name of Olympic Host City), I'll bet you dollars to donuts that I can find similar vignettes in any large US city.

Don't believe the hype, y'all...
Remember 'If it bleeds, it leads' and the Media will do everything they can to get your clicks.
Take it all with a grain of salt.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, July 14, 2016

Obama Prevarications

After listening to Obama preach at me during the Dallas memorial, and tonight's rehash of his bullshit, I went woolgathering a bit...

I'm kind of looking forward to Obama going full-on "War on Guns!"

Look what that did for access to every possible recreational chemical when the War on (some) Drugs started.

It's going to be interesting...

TBG

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Hazardous Duty

I hate people.
I hate stupid people.
I hate working with stupid people.
I hate working in TV.
Stupid people piss me off.
I hate stupid people that work in TV.
Stupid people are stupid.
People who don't think like me are stupid.

Stupid people can't...
Fuckit.

Actually, I just hate working with people from a certain network that could be considered
Nothing But Communists.

I got into a heated discussion yesterday coming back from lunch with one of the many staffers, this one from NYC but now living in LA. She lamented that the Democratic Sit In had folded without getting a new ban on Assault Rifles.

Ghod. This woman votes.

I attempted to explain that that's not what the Sit-In was about.
I wasn't able to get into the fact that ARs aren't assault rifles and the the 'no-fly-no-buy' is a revocation of due process... (Due process? What's that?)
She went straight to 'Repeal the 2nd Amendment!'...

How do you have intelligent discourse with this kind of person?

Her position is that NO ONE should have any kind of weapons.
Yours Truly: "No one?"
Except the police, in her opinion. (And that works out so well...?)
YT: "And the military?"
Clueless TV Girl: "Yes, only when they are in battle."
YT: "No practice time?"
CTVG: "Well, that too..."

YT: "Know what it's gonna take to revoke the 2nd Amendment?
Why don't you google it?"
Fortunately we had access to Teh Googlage right in front of her.
The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.
(oooh so many werdz. my head hurts!)
Maybe in NYC, LA and Chicago people would be willing to roll over and take it up the ass...
Outside of that, people won't stand for it.
That's why repealing the 2nd amendment will never happen.
That 2/3rds and 3/4ths of States will outnumber NY, CA, CT, MA, NJ, WA, OR.

But
IF you could get that done...
YT: "So... Confiscate all the guns?"
CTVG: "Yes."
YT: "Know how many there are in the hands of law-abiding Americans?"
CTVG: Clickety-click.
CTVG: "270 to 310 million. 150 Million LEGAL gun owners."
YT: "So- gonna send out the cops to confiscate 'em? That's a lot of guns to confiscate."
CTVG: "You said they are law-abiding. They should give up their guns if they are made illegal."

Even if through some kind of chicanery they were able to get the 2nd Amendment repealed, the Common Man (outside NYC, LA & Chicago) won't stand for it.

CTVG: "Send the military?"
YT: "Not allowed. The Posse Comitatus states that the U.S. Military is not permitted to be used against U.S. citizens." (Posse Comitatus? That sounds dirty...)
CTVG: "Well... The President could order it. The military would have them outnumbered. No problem." (Clueless about Exec Orders too I see.)
Really.
YT: "Google 'number of US military firearms'."
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 2.7 million guns. Wow."
How many members of the military?
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 1.4 million front-line personnel."
They're a little outgunned, so to speak.
Even if only 10% of gun owners came out, that's a 15 million man militia...
And the Military is US citizens..
Think they will fire on follow citizens?
Friends? Family?
(Long pause)
CTVG: "But why do we need a 2nd amendment? Why do YOU need guns?"

You're kidding.

Google "non military armed government agencies".


The Internal Revenue Service, with its 2,316 special agents, spent nearly
$11 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) spent $3.1 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment. The EPA has spent $715 million on its ‘Criminal Enforcement Division’ from FY2005 to present even as the agency has come under fire for failing to perform its basic functions.

Federal agencies spent:
$14.7 million on Tasers
$1.6 million on unmanned aircraft,
$8.2 million on buckshot,
$7.44 million on projectiles
$4 million on grenades/launchers. 

The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) spent
$11.66 million including more than:
$200,000  on ‘night vision equipment’     
$2.3 million on ‘armor – personal’
$2 million+  on guns
$3.6 million on ammunition
Veterans Affairs has 3,700 law enforcement officers guarding and securing VA medical centers.

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service spent
$4.77 million purchasing shotguns, .308 caliber rifles, night vision goggles, propane cannons, liquid explosives, pyro supplies, buckshot, LP gas cannons, drones, remote controlled helicopters, thermal cameras, military waterproof thermal infrared scopes, and more.

Similar stories for the Department of Education, Social Security Administration, and National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration.
Fucking NOAA needs Glocks and Shotguns and millions in ammo?

If THESE agencies and officers need them, I need them.

I didn't change her mind- 'GUNS BAD' too ingrained in her psyche.
Maybe a home invasion and a few trips to the range might change her mind.
But I doubt it.

TBG - - [Exit - pursued by a peacock]

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Ironic, Is It Not?

Leftist Gun Grabbers: "ZOMG, Ban anyone that's been under FBI investigation from getting weapons!"

So... Does that mean Clinton, if elected, can't have access to the Big Red Button that launches the nukes?

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

This Guy Works At My Local Gun Store...




He's a small-arms dealer...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, January 09, 2016

Australia Gun Laws & Rules

To whet your appetite have a peek at this from one of the FAQs

I currently hold a firearms licence for sport/target shooting. Can I go hunting on rural property?

No, you are only authorised to shoot at an approved Sport/Target Shooting Club. If you wish to shoot on rural land you must apply to have the genuine reason of Recreational Hunting and Vermin Control or Primary Production added to your existing firearms licence.
To add this genuine reason, you should email the Firearms Registry Licensing Unit at frlicensing@police.nsw.gov.au to obtain pre-printed application forms – please refer to the information under 'What if I want to change my genuine reason or add a new genuine reason?' above.

Wow.
Pique your interest?

Submitted for your edification, some FAQs and Links regarding gun laws from the oh-so-enlightened Aussies...

From the Auburn Shooting Academy (Sydney west) website:

-Frequently Asked Questions-

How long does it take to get a pistol license?
After joining the club and completing the initial Pistol Safe Handling training, your application for a Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) will take about 6 to 8 weeks. You will then need to complete the clubs 12 week pistol training program while under close supervision and the remainder of the first 6 months of your PPL under general supervision. A PPL is valid for 12 months after which time a Category H (Pistol Target Shooting) licence can be applied for.

Can anyone become a club member and licensed shooter?

You must be able to pass a Police criminal background check, have good English language skills and be a NSW resident.

What do I need to join the Shooting Academy Club?

You will need a government issued photo identification, two references from adults who have known you 2 years or more and be able to pass a Police criminal background check. You will also need to be a member of the Sporting Shooters Association of Australia (SSAA).

How much does a Pistol License Cost?
Your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) will cost $100 (for 12 months), and your Category H Pistol Licence will cost $100 for 2 years or $200 for 5 years. These fees are in addition to your club and shooting association membership fees.

When I have a license, can I bring an unlicensed friend shooting?
No. Unlicenced shooters may only try pistol target shooting, under the requirements of the Police P650 declaration form, by prior arrangement with the club and under the direct supervision of a Club Range Officer.

Can I shoot at the Shooting Academy at any time?

After you have completed 6 months of your PPL, and have completed your induction and safety training, you can shoot at any time provided the range is not pre-booked for training or competition.

Do I have to attend every Thursday night in the first 12 weeks?
 No, but it is in your best interest to complete your 12 week induction and safety training as soon as possible. You must complete the club's 12 week training course before your PPL is 6 months old. You can only do this on Thursday nights under the supervision of a club Range Officer.

What are the attendance or competition requirements to comply with the conditions of Pistol license?
Licenced pistol shooters must compete in at least 6 club competitions each year, and a further 4 club shoots for each different type of pistol they own.

What's involved in buying my first pistol?
After you have your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) for 6 months, and have completed the club’s induction and safety training course, you can apply for a Permit to Acquire (to buy your first pistol). You must have your Category H safe inspected by the local Police who will provide a letter stating that it complies with regulations. This together with the Permit to Acquire is forwarded to the Firearms Registry.

Can I buy a gun on the Internet?
No. Firearms can ONLY be legally bought and sold through licenced firearms dealers, and only to licenced shooters who have a Permit to Acquire.

Can I shoot at other Pistol clubs or ranges?
Yes. After you have your Probationary Pistol Licence (PPL) for 6 months, with the permission of the other Club, you can participate in shooting events at other approved pistol ranges. Range fees and competition entry fees for other Club venues are not included in your Shooting Academy Club membership. Additional training and accreditation may be required for participation in external shooting competitions.

Do I need to purchase my own pistol?
No. Club pistols are available free of charge to members under training and during the first 6 months of a PPL. .

Can I store a pistol at the Club?
Yes. Safe-storage compliant gun safes are available at the Club for a modest biennial fee.


Which leads us to the NSW Gun Laws...

Licence Applications

In NSW, any person seeking to possess and use a firearm must be authorised by way of a licence or permit.
All persons wishing to obtain a firearms licence in NSW must have a genuine reason for obtaining the licence and must meet a range of legislative requirements relating to that genuine reason.
Licence holders are only authorised to possess and use the category of firearm for which the licence has been issued and the firearm may only be used for the purpose established as being the genuine reason for holding the firearms licence.
The Genuine Reasons applicable to a firearms licence are listed below. Please review the requirements for the genuine reason you wish to select to ensure that you can meet all the requirements. The Licence Category and Genuine Reason Table also shows the categories of licence applicable to each genuine reason.

Genuine Reasons

Changes to an Existing Licence

Firearms Safety Training Courses

If you are applying for a licence for the first time you will need to complete a Firearms Safety Training Course for longarms or pistols. Refer to each genuine reason FACT Sheet for information regarding applicable courses.

Business Licence

If you are making an application for a firearms licence for a business, please see the FACT Sheet below and the Business Declaration form which must be completed and returned with your application.

Making Your Licence Application

Once you have determined the appropriate genuine reason and category of licence, you may use the link below to request your pre-printed licence application and genuine reason forms.
You may also obtain pre-printed licence application forms by contacting the Firearms Registry Customer Service line on 1300 362 562.

I especially enjoyed the phrasing under the section on firearm collectors the caveat:
"A Firearm Collector licence allows for the possession of firearms only, not their use.
...
NOTE: This licence does not authorise the collection of ammunition. For information on collection of ammunition see Ammunition Collection Permit."

And finally, as an American gun owner, these FAQs are hilarious and frightening.


Lord, please spare us who want to use the Australian model for proposed gun regulation & ownership...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, December 17, 2015

From our What Goes Around file: Executive Order Edition

Just reading the news from CNN (spit) about Obama making yet another Exec Order, this one on some form of Gun Control, most likely the NoFly - NoBuy concept which we have already discussed...

(Lots of supposition here, but here goes..)
The Left if going to find it distasteful if (when) a conservative POTUS is elected and he/she starts flinging EOs around like Obama does, just like the Dems in the Senate are regretting the "Nuclear Option" they exercised so deftly, as it is now wielded by the GOP, though they need to use it better, harder and more often...
(Oh! That's what she said!)

Before Exec Order - 47,000 people on No-Fly list.
After the Exec Order - 300 Million on the list.
Welcome to ObamAmerika.


Some day in the near future, some Political Science student is going to opine:
"Man, no one could throw an Autopen/ExecOrder like ol' Barry Hussein! That dude had a knack for fucking things up."
I would heartily agree...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Just Another Observation On The No-fly List

In regards to the clamoring to preclude No-Fly Listers from buying guns-

Remember who's on the list:
Possible terrorists.

Remember the current Adminstration/Progressive narrative:
It you are a vocal 2nd Amendment supporter, you are a potential domestic terrorist.

Thus:
GunBlog Black List = No-Fly / No-Buy

Keep your powder dry.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Shit Stirring




So... Wearing this around Jacksonville would probably earn me
an earnest talking-to...

But when I go to Australia...... Hmmm.



TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, September 05, 2015

Tired of Your Bullshit, Asshat. (Australia Gun Control Edition)

A long-time friend and dis-honorary guest member of the ODMQD Breakfast Club, is a staunch repeal-the-second-amendment, Gunz-R-Bad, dope-smoking, granola munching, NYC/LA wannabe, and as such, we just let him babble on and pretty much ignore his crap...
He usually confines himself to basic inanities about how guns should be outlawed, then just collected up like in Australia and all will be right with the world.
Seems a lot of politicians (Obama included) would embrace the Australian model...
Unfortunately, they only hear anecdotal evidence, not hard facts-
(Like that famous '97%' of scientists that feel the science is settled about Anthropological Global Change [obvious horseshit - read HERE], and that 40% of guns are sold without background checks. [Again- Bullshit - Here.)

So Skippy (an obvious nom de idiot, since I don't want to embarrass him too badly) is going on and on about USA shootings in Virginia, Charleston, Aurora, ad infinitum and speaking in glowing terms about Australia, and I just want to smack him in the head and remind him about the Lindt cafe incident last December...

I keep hearing all about how the Australia mandatory gun buy-back confiscation program is just the model we should embrace...Mostly because Obama said so on a podcast with a bullshit moron unfunny soi-disant 'comedian'. (I'm not going to link to it- fuck 'em. You want to read it, GIMF.)

It was soooooo effective...
They got about 1/3 of the outlawed weapons, so in the US it might be about 100 million of the 300+ million guns. And if history is any indicator, US gun owners will not go quietly into that good night. (I do hope that my man Skippy, Bloomberg, Pelosi, Obama, Feinstein, and Sarah Brady are the people going door-to-door to ask people for their guns.)
Interestingly, if somehow, you get a special dispensation to have a gun in Australia, the ploice can come at any time and search your house and property without any kind of a warrant. Is that REALLY what people want?

People think gun crime is non-existent in Australia...
Think again.

Exercise a little Google-fu:
Here, I 'll even help you out. (Gotta be specific about what KIND of shooting or you'll get basketball results for Woollarra and Bundaburg...)

Brisbane
Melbourne
Sydney

How's about these apples for 2014:


Is Australia staring down the barrel of a gun crisis? (news.com.au)
* There have been 39 people shot in Sydney (in 2014), most related to an ongoing bikie war.
* Conservative estimates say there are more than a quarter-of-a-million illegal firearms in Australia.
* Gun ownership in Australia is back at pre-Port Arthur massacre levels.
* Carrying a gun is becoming more common and ingrained in outlaw culture.
* Gun amnesties barely put a dent in the number of weapons.
* Innocent people are being caught up in gun battles.
* There has been a steady increase in gun-related crimes over the past seven years.
Sydney gun crime: city suffers three shootings in three hours

Sydney home invasions and drive-by shootings whitewashed by NSW Police

Look, Oz isn't the gun-free utopia that Obama, Bloomberg and the rest of the anti-gun proponents believe it to be. Firearm-related incidents don't get the airplay on the US MSM because it doesn't fit the narrative...

Back to Skippy for a minute-
His position is the need to implement the Aussie-style Draconian measures, force a buy-back on a national level, then after the results are sofa-king ridiculously poor, then go door to door to get the rest of the 200 million firearms that possession was, until this little imaginary exercise, a God-give and constitutionally protected right. And he thinks that's doable.

But, on another note, he doesn't believe rounding up the 11 million (more like 20 million, amirite?) illegal aliens (you fuckin'-a right I said it - ILLEGAL. ALIEN.) is remotely possible. We shouldn't even try.
I really don't think he know what a really motivated gun-owning, 2A proponent is capable of, and prepared to do... Because when push comes to knock-knock-give-me-your-guns, I have a feeling Joe USCitizen will not go all round-heel like the Sheilas Down Under.

Gah- I am surrounded by morons.

- Or... Wait. Is it just me?
A fictional Deputy Marshall, Raylan Givens (more on him in a later post) had some great writers doing his dialog from the TV show Justified on Fox.
He once opined:
"...you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole."
Lots of truth there, it seems.

I'm going to have to rethink my whole personality evaluation paradigm.
Seems like there are some inconsistencies in it...

(Shit- This post wandered quite a bit... Sorry for the digressions.)

tl:dr  Hey Skippy: Fuck off and die in a fire.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Washington Morons

...and Wishful Thinking.

-or-
"Just because you pass a law, doesn't mean it will happen."
(or in this case TRY to pass a law. I can't see this bill ever getting a serious read...)

A select group of elected morons led by Ed Markey (D, Mass - Go figure) has decided to try to pass legislation to stop handgun violence by mandating personalization of handguns. Including retrofitting existing guns before they can be sold or even transferred between private individuals.

Read about it here.

Nice thought, if a tad insane...
Ask anyone serious about gun safety about personalizing guns- especially cops.
It's a dumbass concept.
It's amazing to me that they would invoke statistics about cops killed with their own weapons as part of the narrative in the bill.

Doesn't keep folks from researching individualization and trying to find a way to get .gov $$$ for it. And just because there are technologies that might work in some cases, doesn't mean you should mandate its use.

Just because someone has made a flying car passing a law that says 'In ten years, all cars must be flying cars, and all old cars must fly too.' is the same kind of thinking.


Morons.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, June 11, 2015

I'm Impressed With the CHP / Local CA MotorCops.

On the drive between SF and Sacramento I wound up behind a CHP bike...
(I could be wrong- it says 'Police'... Could be a local yokel.)

I did a doubletake-
Wow.

I don't remember Ponch and Jon being outfitted like this...
The bike:

(Click pic for larger version)

Detail... Let me rotate it, so you can see it better...


Yep -an AR bike mount...
I guess they are good Boy Scouts- Be Prepared!
Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it...
And being on two wheels is no excuse to be ill-prepared.

I'll need to see if they have a mount like that for the Yamaha FJR.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Rumor Control: New Firearm Development

Word around the campfire is that Ruger is working with Democrats and the Obama White House to develop a new firearm...

It will be called The Union Worker

You can't fire it...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Mmmmm. Porrrn.....

Oh, I just loves me some good hi-res porn...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Sunday Music Interlude BONUS!- Cups / When I'm Gone

...With a special percussion section!!


No Anna Kendrick, but delightful none the less...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, December 26, 2014

Are You F-ing Kidding me?

From the NY Post...

NYPD find arsenal after busting man who ‘talked about killing cops’


An arsenal?


One pistol and a shotgun are an arsenal?

Wow.
Talk about clickbait/sensationalism...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Reasons I Like Australia - #3243 in the Series


See...
This is why I like Australia.

Not because of the jellyfish, crocodiles, 10 billion species of poisonous snakes, wombats, drop bears, and Kylie & Dannii Minogue...

(Nice, but hardly a primary reason to like Oz. We have plenty of this back home.)


It's because of guys like this:


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, August 15, 2014

Them's Some Pretty Fancy Shootin' Irons
























Wow.
Take a toy novelty and some blackwash paint and a little creativity-
Et voilà!
How to get shot by one of the Only Ones on a 'man-with-a-gun' callout.

But they look impressive as hell.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Confiscate All Guns - Just Like Australia!

...'Cause it's working out so well for them.


POLICE are seizing guns at an unprecedented rate amid deep alarm at the number of illegal firearms in the hands of criminals.
The rate of people caught illegally carrying and using guns in Victoria has jumped by 30 per cent in the past decade as black marketeers cash in.
The .338-calibre Savage Arms rifle held by Assistant Commissioner Steve Fontana (pictured) is just one example of the kind of firepower generating concern.
But..but...but... Australia is so safe because 'No Guns!'...
WTF, Mate.
Capable of firing a bullet over a distance of more than 1km, it was found by the police’s Santiago organised crime taskforce.
In recent days, guns have been seized from members of the Finks and Outlaws motorcycle gangs. Police confiscated eight guns after a raid sparked by a drive-by shooting at a Lalor house at the weekend.
A drive-by? I though that only happened in gun-crazy USA.
Mr Fontana said drug dealers were a key part of the market in trafficking illegal guns. He was speaking before Operation Unification, a two-week nationwide crackdown on illegal firearms, which starts next Monday.
Mr Fontana said a major priority for police was trying to ensure licensed firearms owners and dealers properly secure their weapons.
Illegal firearms? Goodness me!
“There is … a concerning trend in Victoria around firearm theft from rural properties, with some of these stolen firearms finding their way to criminals connected to the drug trade and organised crime,” he said.
Mr Fontana said he was concerned at the common use of guns in drive-by shooting attacks and road rage. “The risk is that someone is going to be killed … an innocent person (or) a police officer,” he said.
“We’re responding to so many shooting incidents now. We’ve got road-rage incidents where weapons are produced.” Mr Fontana said guns were increasingly being used in kidnappings where victims were taken to retrieve a debt.
“Some (victims) have been shot and they’re still uncooperative,” he said.
Mr Fontana said bikies were major players in the illegal guns world.
“We know they’ve got some really nasty weapons. They’re moving them around all the time.”

Mr Fontana said public help was crucial in getting guns out of the wrong hands and anyone knowing of people keeping firearms illegally should come forward.
“Information from the public about illegal firearm activity could save a life or prevent someone in the community being seriously injured,” he said.
Yep. That's exactly how it would work here...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Avacadon't

Since last December I have been indulging in genus Persea, the Avocado.

Some time a little too much I think...
But- better to nosh on The Green than, oh, say, three Milky Way bars, an entire sleeve of Oreos or a pint of Ben & Jerry's.


For the last six months or so I have been learning how to indulge in the Alligator Pear, or rather, how to purchase, tend, evaluate, test, and -at the most optimum moment- enjoy the tasty innards of the Great Green Testicle...

It kinda goes like this:

Day One - Carefully prod and poke approx 300 under-ripe avocados at the store.
Choose one or two of appropriate size and relative ripeness.
Bring it/them home and place them on the window sill so they are not forgotten in the bottom of the 'fridge.

Day Two - Check for ripeness. Condition: not quite yet.
Day Three - Check for ripeness. Condition: not quite yet.
Day Four - Check for ripeness. Condition: Almost there.... Just a bit more.
Day Five - Check for ripeness. Condition: Completely rotten. Inedible.

Obviously, there is a tiny window of opportunity between 3 and 5 AM where you can actually enjoy the perfect ripeness of the avocado.

This is, of course, a bit of an exaggeration... But not too much.

How do I enjoy my avocado?
Mostly just sliced with a squeeze of lime or a bit of vinaigrette dressing...or just putting a  spoon of salsa in the hole left when the seed is removed and scooping it right out of the skin.

I did find something that looked interesting on the Intarwebs...



Warning- this was awful. I tried it a couple different ways- it was crap.
Avoid avoid avoid!

My favorite method of preparation?



Glockamole, of course.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE