Yes, I'm Still Alive.

Busy (and about as graceful) as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest...

So, a while back I was getting chastized because I hadn't updated the ol' Blog in a while, so I sat down and dashed off the following, but never got around to publishing it...
After several inquiries from Constant Readers, I guess the word around the campfire is that I have shuffled off my mortal coil and joined the bleedin' choir invisible...
Sorry, no.
Please see the somewhat dated post below to give you a cross section of Uncle Jay in Tampa Bay...
----

I know. Silence is golden.

(Random thought: Get a Golden Retriever and name it Silence in order to have a bad pun on hand at all times... Probably not an original thought... Let me check... Nope.)

So I've been a little quiet...

Basically I've been swamped with my new job that it's difficult to dedicate the time required to put together a good blog post...

Famous the St.Ass was down here in Tampa last week; He took a few minutes out of our visit to chastise me for my lack of posting.

Basically I don't have too much to complain about- (workwise, that is-

I could go on and on about The Aggrieved Left and their participation trophy mentality).

I also don't spend too much time sitting in airports (one of my go-to spots for blogging) so my usual writing location is unavailable.

When I'm at my desk (typically 7:30a to 9:00p or as late as 11:30p on a game/concert night) I'm heads-down on licensing, budgeting, staff schedules, surveys, documentation, research or resource evaluation...

Blogging? Ain't nobody got time for dat.

I do try to keep up with other blogs, (living vicariously through Tam, OldNFO, Roberta, Borepatch, McThag, Robb, and the rest of the Usual Suspects.

At best I throw a pic up on Instagram now and then... (Follow me at Gojira15 if you'd like.)

But, so much bullshit in the last few weeks from the Political maelstrom...

I find it so humorous that the Left has such short and selective memories.

For the last eight years it's been "shut up, we won, deal with it" and Dissent is Racist, and now it's all Not My President, Dissent is Patriotic, and Electoral College is BS- Majority Vote Rules!

The Democratic sure loved the Nuke option in the Senate back when they had control...

Now, of course it's un-American to utilize their tools against them...

And the Trump Derangement is thick and heavy.

So much angst from The Aggrieved Left.

So, a few bullet points:

• Gosh. He actually made promises, people voted for him, and now he's keeping his promises? UnPossible.

• It's funny how most major "news" organizations are now "opinion" organizations.

• So-called News organizations report "facts" that are spun and written so contextually misleading so they can be called facts, when the actual narrative is pure bullshit.

• Celebrities should just shut up about politics.
  FTMF.

• The Media (and by association the unwashed, illiterate Aggrieved Left) will focus on one sentence that can be misinterpreted or spun as incorrect, and thus call out *everything* Trump or his Spox says as complete lies and falsehoods.
  (Apparently they just learned to read after November 9th 2016. Where the fuck was this so-called fact checking 2008-2016?)

• Does the Media (& The Aggrieved Left) understand the difference between "Health Care" and "Health Care Insurance Coverage"?
  No one is taking health care away from anyone. Stop being scare mongers.

And on the same note-

• All the Planned Parenthood supporters that are up in arms... stop lying to yourself and others about what goes on there and just fund that crap yourself... no one is talking about overturning Roe vs. Wade.

• And still on the same note- no one in the Trump Admin says "No Immigrants".
  What they are saying is "Hold up a sec so we can get some *effective* safety checks in place IF YOU ARE COMING FROM SPECIFIC LOCATIONS OF PROVEN RISK.
  Immigrants are fine IF EVERYONE PLAYS BY THE SAME RULES.
  (By the way- Go have a peek at oh-so-enlightened Australia or even Canada for some hugely stringent immigration rules.
  Hint: Most asshole celebrities who bragged about moving to Canada or elsewhere wouldn't qualify... But Trump supporters probably would...but that's another blog post.)

• Popular vote vs Electoral College and Illegal Alien voting.
  The Media (and the Aggrieved Left) love to call out President Trump and his Minions about the popular vote levels and ridicule them for talking about vote fraud (illegals voting, dead people voting, multi-voting...etc).
  Problem is that the Left is usually in charge of the voting precincts where the fraud happens, and they'll never be straight about getting it corrected.
  Case in point- the final election results in South Florida were held up for HOURS in order to keep Florida from being called for Trump and thus altering the turnout in the western states as things were going south for Hillary.
  The Left kept point out that with Florida still a toss up it was important to motivate every John and Jane (or more likely Juan and Juanita) to pull the election out of the crapper for Clinton.
  
• And they are Illegal Aliens, not undocumented workers. If you broke immigration law coming here, you're a criminal. Fuck you, go back and come back in through proper channels. And take your anchor babies (regardless of age) with you. FTMF.

• Build the fucking wall.
  
• Tampa Lefty media employs so many strawmen in their news opinion stories that they need to be audited for their employment practices.

• The Aggrieved Left needs to embrace "Good for goose, good for the gander" concept, except it would be construed as sexist, as opposed to equality-seking as the phrase was originally intended.
  
• Thank Ghod I don't travel like I used to. If one of these spontaneous protests had caused me to miss a flight, I would definitely be on the local (and perhaps national) news, and a number of protesters would get the unique experience of riding in a ambulance with broken bones and their teeth in their pockets.
  
• I wouldn't have Steve Spicer's job for all the tea in India.
  Steve Spicer: "I love puppies and the sky is blue."
  Media/Aggrieved Left: "Trump hates Kittens and is ignorant of atmospheric science because Spox Spicer touts confusing narrative that defames Migrant Muslim."

So, moving on.

I'll try to keep the ice cream machine stocked a little more often...
It all depends in how much ass needs kicking around here, and how much my ass gets kicked.

TBG - - Livin' the dream in Tampa

Style. I Haz It.

At the new job, most days the dress code is business casual.

But -

Game night...  Suits required.

Gotta make another run to Shanghai for more suits.
Mine are suitable for bodyguard duty or funerals, as a rule.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Music For Strike & Repack

Great stuff I've been enjoying-



A lot of this stuff is very reminiscent of Squirrel Nut Zippers...


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

WTF Rio? - Part 207b

Now that the opening ceremonies are over and I finally have all my equipment in place, I have a little breathing room and can make some comments...

Re: Opening Ceremonies and one-off sports at Olympics.

When did walking in sparkly dress with a thigh-high slit in four inch heels become an Olympic event?


Don't get me wrong- I'm sure it was an Olympic feat for Giselle Bundchen to walk all the way across the floor of the stadium under the gaze of millions. But still...

I'm trying to find out how one gets to be a judge in that event.

Also- In Tokyo there will 6 exhibition sports - only for the 2020 Olympics.
Baseball/softball, surfing, skateboarding, karate and speed climbing.
Being in Tokyo, I wonder about the surfing event- Will they create a wave simulator or some kind of man-made wave system...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rio Navigation and Work Fun

Opening Ceremonies is a delay in my schedule because the TV Truck used for that show pulls up stakes and moves from Maracanã to the OLS (Olympic Stadium) for Track & Field. Once it landed at the T&F stadium I had to go install my last suite of hardware...


I was sitting at breakfast on Sunday planning to go to OLS at 8:30 or so, and the NBC IT guy who had installed the network hardware on Saturday afternoon had words of wisdom:

"Make sure your driver knows the way to the stadium.
Mine didn't, and we were totally lost in a not-very-nice area. The driver finally pulled over and found a guy with a machete, no shirt, prison tattoos, sitting by flaming oil drum full of burning chunks of old automobile tires under an overpass to ask about directions.
I was hiding under the back seat of the van. I knew we were both going to die!"

Dude... Never get out of the boat.
I got my install done with only a *little* shouting and death threats...
I ran into an IP conflict with some other equipment...
Valid IP addresses are few and far between in these parts, Buckaroo.
When the Powers That Be issue you an IP, you fucking use THAT address AND NOTHING ELSE.
I didn't actually hurt the offending technician, or his gear, but I guarantee he won't 'borrow' any addresses ever again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Trolling the interns in the men's room...

(Man, that doesn't sound right...)

The restrooms in the IBC have Dyson Airblade Vs in them in an effort to make the Games greener.


(In this case, the green is the algae growing on the wall near the Airblades- the water is blown off your hands and soaks the wall the the counter-top. Lovely design.

But there is a trick to getting them to activate... You have to approach them a certain way or they don't do anything but sit there looking evil and angry...

I was drying my hands at one and one of the Interns/Runners - a snot-nosed young lad of 22 or so saw me and asked how it worked...

Snot-nosed Young Lad: "Dang. Those things DO work!? I thought is was just an air freshener or something. I  never saw one working before now."

I guess if there isn't an iPhone control app for it, it's not worth using.

I decided to have a little fun with him.

Yours Truly: "What, you haven't got your chip yet?"
S-NYL: "My what?"
YT: "Your chip. Your RFID chip from NBC."
S-NYL: Puzzled look, like a cocker spaniel when you make a squeaky noise.
YT: "Yeah, you need to go down to Engineering and ask for your chip implant. It activates the hand driers, but the really cool stuff they do is things like giving you access to the VIP sections in different venues- really useful in the Gymnastics and the Swimming venues. It also gives you access to the motorpool to get from site to site... Just get in one of the NBC cars and wave your hand over the reader and tell the driver where you want to go.
There's a bunch of other stuff... It'll be in the brochure they give you when they implant the chip...
S-NYL: "Everybody gets them?"
YT: "Yep...If you know who to ask. Just keep it on the down-low. The less people that know, the better."

I gave him the name of a certain Curmudgeon who hates EVERYBODY, especially the interns...
I'll be interested to see how that shakes out...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING STUFFS!

Day One:
Venue: OAS (Swimming)
Tech manager is trying to figure out a cable run for some in-truck services back to the TOC.
(TOC = big room full of operations equipment, especially the network switches that provide all the connectivity for each venue.)
In his effort, he pulls my connection out of the main switch...
WHILE WE ARE ON THE FUCKING AIR.
My phone rings...

EG: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)
YT: "Find your Truck Guy, trace the blue cable from your switch to the patch block, make sure it's still plugged in. Then, look in the TOC for the cable bundle labeled 'GRAPHICS" make sure #6 is in port 45 on switch 2."
EG: "Find the truck guy. Got it."
YT: "Oh shit..." I grabbed my tool back and headed out the door.
Before I got to the shuttle bus, my phone rang.
EG: "Found it. Someone moved the cable."
YT: "Who? Who did it. What moronic motherhumper in the OAS compound is going to wind up with a 4 pound hammer embedded in his forehead?"
EG: "Don't know, but it's fixed."
YT: "Find out." (click)

Day Two:
Venue: ROA (Gymnastics)
We are live on the air... Phone

RJ: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)

Grab my bag and head to the shuttle.
I arrived at the ROA and started to go to the truck, but headed to the TOC instead...
I ran into the Tech Manager...

TM: "I know why you're here... Sorry- my fault. it's fixed now."
YT:  stunned silence
TM: "Yeah, one of the guys in the A-Truck had a problem with his internet connection. Your cable wasn't labeled and I didn't know what it was, so I pulled it."
YT: "Dude, are you fucking kidding me? There are 200 unlabeled cables in here...
You didn't pull them... Why are you pulling mine?"
TM: shrugs shoulders - "I don't know... I just thought it was in the wrong place."

Is it unreasonable for me to expect that while we are ON THE AIR that people don't pull out cables that they don't know what it's attached to?

(Oddly I am reminded of Buckaroo Banzai performing brain surgery:
"You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same.
No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."

I grab a roll of neon-yellow gaff tape and a Sharpie.
"IF YOU TOUCH THIS CABLE I WILL KILL YOU"
There... It's labeled.

I stuck my head in the B-Truck. My guy gives a thumbs up.
Ok...
I head to Diving.
Tape. Sharpie.
"TOUCH THIS CABLE AND YOU WILL DIE"
 Done.
I labeled Track & Field too...
Golf will get one as soon as I go back out there...

Morons. I'm surrounded by morons.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Hazardous Duty

I hate people.
I hate stupid people.
I hate working with stupid people.
I hate working in TV.
Stupid people piss me off.
I hate stupid people that work in TV.
Stupid people are stupid.
People who don't think like me are stupid.
Stupid people can't...
Fuckit.

Actually, I just hate working with people from a certain network that could be considered
Nothing But Communists.

I got into a heated discussion yesterday coming back from lunch with one of the many staffers, this one from NYC but now living in LA. She lamented that the Democratic Sit In had folded without getting a new ban on Assault Rifles.

Ghod. This woman votes.

I attempted to explain that that's not what the Sit-In was about.
I wasn't able to get into the fact that ARs aren't assault rifles and the the 'no-fly-no-buy' is a revocation of due process... (Due process? What's that?)
She went straight to 'Repeal the 2nd Amendment!'...

How do you have intelligent discourse with this kind of person?

Her position is that NO ONE should have any kind of weapons.
Yours Truly: "No one?"
Except the police, in her opinion. (And that works out so well...?)
YT: "And the military?"
Clueless TV Girl: "Yes, only when they are in battle."
YT: "No practice time?"
CTVG: "Well, that too..."

YT: "Know what it's gonna take to revoke the 2nd Amendment?
Why don't you google it?"
Fortunately we had access to Teh Googlage right in front of her.

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.
(oooh so many werdz. my head hurts!)

Maybe in NYC, LA and Chicago people would be willing to roll over and take it up the ass...
Outside of that, people won't stand for it.
That's why repealing the 2nd amendment will never happen.
That 2/3rds and 3/4ths of States will outnumber NY, CA, CT, MA, NJ, WA, OR.

But
IF you could get that done...
YT: "So... Confiscate all the guns?"
CTVG: "Yes."
YT: "Know how many there are in the hands of law-abiding Americans?"
CTVG: Clickety-click.
CTVG: "270 to 310 million. 150 Million LEGAL gun owners."
YT: "So- gonna send out the cops to confiscate 'em? That's a lot of guns to confiscate."
CTVG: "You said they are law-abiding. They should give up their guns if they are made illegal."

Even if through some kind of chicanery they were able to get the 2nd Amendment repealed, the Common Man (outside NYC, LA & Chicago) won't stand for it.

CTVG: "Send the military?"
YT: "Not allowed. The Posse Comitatus states that the U.S. Military is not permitted to be used against U.S. citizens." (Posse Comitatus? That sounds dirty...)
CTVG: "Well... The President could order it. The military would have them outnumbered. No problem." (Clueless about Exec Orders too I see.)
Really.
YT: "Google 'number of US military firearms'."
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 2.7 million guns. Wow."
How many members of the military?
CTVG: clickety-click
CTVG: "Military has 1.4 million front-line personnel."
They're a little outgunned, so to speak.
Even if only 10% of gun owners came out, that's a 15 million man militia...
And the Military is US citizens..
Think they will fire on follow citizens?
Friends? Family?
(Long pause)
CTVG: "But why do we need a 2nd amendment? Why do YOU need guns?"

You're kidding.

Google "non military armed government agencies".


The Internal Revenue Service, with its 2,316 special agents, spent nearly
$11 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment.

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) spent $3.1 million on guns, ammunition and military-style equipment. The EPA has spent $715 million on its ‘Criminal Enforcement Division’ from FY2005 to present even as the agency has come under fire for failing to perform its basic functions.

Federal agencies spent:
$14.7 million on Tasers
$1.6 million on unmanned aircraft,
$8.2 million on buckshot,
$7.44 million on projectiles
$4 million on grenades/launchers. 

The Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) spent
$11.66 million including more than:
$200,000  on ‘night vision equipment’     
$2.3 million on ‘armor – personal’
$2 million+  on guns
$3.6 million on ammunition
Veterans Affairs has 3,700 law enforcement officers guarding and securing VA medical centers.

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service spent
$4.77 million purchasing shotguns, .308 caliber rifles, night vision goggles, propane cannons, liquid explosives, pyro supplies, buckshot, LP gas cannons, drones, remote controlled helicopters, thermal cameras, military waterproof thermal infrared scopes, and more.

Similar stories for the Department of Education, Social Security Administration, and National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration.
Fucking NOAA needs Glocks and Shotguns and millions in ammo?

If THESE agencies and officers need them, I need them.

I didn't change her mind- 'GUNS BAD' too ingrained in her psyche.
Maybe a home invasion and a few trips to the range might change her mind.
But I doubt it.

TBG - - [Exit - pursued by a peacock]

Catching Up: Rimward & Rio Stuff

Just before I left for Rio, I got a goodie from my man OldNFO.

He sent me copies of his newest stuff- Specifically Rimward:Stranded and part of his newest offering from The Grey Man series.
With Rimward, Jim is venturing into the Mil/SciFi genre with both feet.
Rimward:Stranded was a very fun read- for a short story it was detailed and technical enough to keep the reader's interest, and I liked both his characters and his story pacing.
Great stuff Jim-
More! More!
It's up on Amazon- a tiny investment for a great read... Constant Readers are encouraged to check it out, and encourage OldNFO to continue his work in the genre.
Go get some HERE.

Rio-centric stuff:

Zika. Seriously.
Everyone asks about Zika...
I have yet to see a Zika-carrying mosquito during my visit.

Doesn't mean they're not here, but I think they (Rio Mozzie Control) are doing a very effective mosquito control program in the Barra and other touristy places.
Today I'm at Athletics at Olympic Stadium in Maracanã...
Yikes- this neighborhood is kinda scary- and probably not as well maintained as Barra. But we spent 45 minutes outside waiting on our arena contact and never got a bite, so I have to wonder.

But- here's the low-down on the indigenous mozzies:




The Anopheles Mosquito

The Anopheles mosquito has gained quite a reputation worldwide. This is because it is the only species of mosquito that is capable of transmitting malaria. While the Anopheles mosquito has gained itself a lot of popularity due to the ever increasing spread of malaria around the globe, few realize that this species is also responsible for the spread of Filariasis and Encephalitis. It's a nondescript blood-sucker in a plain brown wrapper...

The Culex Mosquito

The Culex mosquito is not as well known as the Anopheles mosquito. It however can transmit a number of deadly diseases. Like the Anopheles mosquito, the Culex mosquito is responsible for the spread of Filariasis and Encephalitis. In addition to these two diseases, the Culex mosquito can also carry the West Nile virus.

The Aedes Mosquito

The Aedes mosquito is known to transmit Yellow fever, Dengue and Encephalitis. Today however, this mosquito has made headlines with the newest virus that it transmits: the Zika virus!

Aedes Aegypti is a larger-than average mozzie with very distinctive coloring...
Watch for the tell-tale black and white markings on the body and the outriggers.

Now, there have been some people here that have contracted Zika-
The head guy at the field shop (warehouse) contracted Zika and it was a horror story-
Body and joint pain, headaches, swelling, just terrible to hear the tale...
Seems that the people that contract it are the most sensitive and reactive to mosquitoes.
With Field Shop Guy, if there is a mozzie around, he goes to Defcon 1 until the threat is eliminated.

It is said that the guys at the IBC collect dead mosquitoes and keep them lined up on display as a warning to the other bugs...
I'll have to come up with a dead count when I come back, if I ever actually see any live Aedes Ageypti... I have seen a few Anopheles darlingi, but they were shooed away with a stern glance and harsh language.

Been enjoying a wide spectrum of caipirinhas during my sojourn here...
Had one down on the beach at a little beach shack called Pepe's... Great spot way down the beach from Barra.
There are a couple picturesque islands just off shore calling my name- or is it the cachaça?

TBG - - Exit - Pursued by a Barra hooker.

On Engineers & Technicians: Rules to Live By

Regarding Engineers:
Angus McThag opines in response to a previous post:

"Engineers are born such, the education is a formality, thus they get called engineers as soon as they begin the sheepskin ritual."

For the most part, this is true.
Most real Engineers I know I could not possibly imagine in any other occupation.
Taking something apart, putting in (mostly) back together, fixing or adjusting it.
Whatever.
Guys (and a couple women) I know that are deft at wielding a screwdriver or soldering iron would just not look or sound right as a software coder, kindergarten teacher, dog trainer, or barber.
As a Chef, maybe- it's a similar cognitive process...

But-
In reminiscing about some Engineers I have know in my life, I was reminded of an old bit of technical / engineering foolscap from back in my radio days...

Not truly geared toward Engineers per se, but Technicians as a whole.

The Technician’s Ten Commandments
1) Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner. 

2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears may be long. 

3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to radio frequency potential and cause thee to make like a radiator, too. 

4) Tarry not amongst those fools that engageth in intentional shocks, for they are surely non-believers and are not long for this world. 

5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takes the measure of a high voltage circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter, for verily, though thou hast no account number and can be easily surveyed, thy test meter doth have one and, as a consequence, bringeth much woe unto the supply department.  

6) Take care thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, for this incureth the wrath of the supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thy head and shoulders.

7) Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways. 

8) Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat for hour upon a hot circuit before thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery.

9) Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.

10) Thou shall not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.

Numbers 7 & 8 are near to my heart, and number 9 always makes me giggle...


TBG - - [Exit- pursued by a charged electron]

Kids These Days...

I don't know if I mentioned it but The Perfect Child is gainfully employed as a schoolteacher-
5th Grade language arts - at a school in the Beaches area...
I don't know who to pity more- her or The Kids...

This scene from The Simpsons reminds me of some stories she has told at the end of a long day...
(Although I don't know if is more of an indictment of the students or the teachers)

TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by an angry 5th Grader]

Work Work Work

Final morning at the NBA Draft Combine.

*Yawn*

TBG - Exit, pursued by Da Bears

Job Interviews

I've been trying to fill a position here at work...
Some poor bastard lucky candidate to handle IT services for one of our clients...
Needs IT skills, proven track record in project management. The usual KSAs.

Yours Truly: "So... Describe yourself in one word."
Poor Bastard Lucky Candidate: "Great at following directions."


** [Heavy sigh] **


The search continues.


TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by a bear]

A Few Thoughts From Last Week

1. I learned I can drive past Brunswick / Saint Simon's Island twice and my motorcycle doesn't automatically exit the highway and streak like a BBQ-seeking missile toward Demere Rd.

2. The pollen in the CSRA will (and did) destroy contact lenses.


Micrograph of CSRA pollen.

3. If your contact lenses start hurting, TAKE THEM OUT NOW.

4. Weathermen don't know shit about weather.

5. A copperhead snake can turn a 6' sprinkler salesman into a little girl.



6. There is no 6

7. After 7 days on a diet consisting strictly of of pimento cheese sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, industrial-strength BBQ sandwiches, and  Krispy Kreme donuts, do not -under penalty of an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction- trust a fart.

8. No running. Ever.
Best actual quote ever:
"I don't care if you're being chased by a six-foot-nine naked guy with an erection and a butcher knife- NO RUNNING." - from a cop in the parking lot in 2011

9. "What 'cha doing there?" is the Number 1 frequently asked question this week.

10. "Collecting data for the use of the Tournament" is the #1 answer. Vague and Infuriating, to be sure. (It is a tradition unlike any other. Heh)

11. If you make something foolproof, only a fool will be able to use it.

12. 30% of the people eat 80% of the doughnuts

13. Plastic cups from Augusta actually count as currency in some social circles.



14. If you fuck up or fuck off badly enough, even a good Cuban cigar will not save you from the wrath of the Volunteer Coordinator. (He's an unstable cuss.)

15. If you arrive early enough, parking isn't a problem.

16. In Augusta GA, "Because I said so." is a perfectly acceptable answer when Questioning Authority. Further question said Authority can result in incarceration. Or worse.

17. Do not attempt to use your GPS to get anywhere in Augusta between 6 AM and 8 PM on thefirst week of April.

18. Friends will help you move. Real friends will help you move bodies. Exceptional friends will trudge up and down 11 fairway for hours and hours, and still come back the next day with a smile.

19. If you mix the pink shit and the brown shit with a little of the blue shit, it's almost drinkable.
(But save all 3 cups. See #13.)

20. Don't piss off Susan.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

"Completion" - You Keep Using That Word...

Saw an article on the Rio Olympics facilities...


Rio Olympic Park is 95% Ready.
And they have photos...

Looking at the pics, I think that 95% number is a little generous...










I'm thinkin' they have a little more work to do...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Which Reminds Me...

The pig from earlier in the week?
Yeah...

1/3 of the way through cooking. Time to flip him over and cut the skin...

Cutting the skin so the fat renders out..

End result...

Horrifying but oh-so-tasty.

One of Those Weeks

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Good Day

Yesterday sucked...
Rained all day.

Today is shaping up better.

The rain slacked off enough to ride my bike to work. Got a bunch of stuff worked out and through the wheels at work.

I think I deserve a nice lunch...

Morning Hate

I hate traffic.

Once More, Unto The Breach

Sitting at the airport. Again.

This is a fast kamikaze trip to NYC, outbound flight at 5:50a, two meetings then a 9p flight home.
(So left the house at 4:10a,  back in the door around midnight.)

Except for a drizzle on the way, no issues getting from the beach to JAX, through TSA, and to the gate. (Knock wood)

Looking through the 'blog under the 'travel' and 'travel issues' tags.
Gah.
The crap I've gone through in the last 10 years when it comes to getting from one place to another...
Don't know how much longer I can keep from giving some TSA moron, airline idjit, or some (other) asshat passenger a well-deserved thumping... Seems as time goes by, the shorter the fuse gets.
I can take solace, after reading back through some of the stories, that I have avoided the no-fly list thus far, but time will tell.
I'm sure there will be camel back breaking straw somewhere down the line, but for the moment, you find me in seat 7B, cussing under my breath and nursing a sore knee.
Update from NJ/NYC shortly.

TBG

Back to Beijing - IAAF World Champs 2015

(Like Famous the Tam is wont to say, I hate using good stuff at an away game.
I had to write up the my current tasking here for Oculus, the company newsletter; 
Since I wrote it, I have no issue with reproducing it here... Enjoy.)

Has it really been seven years?
Yes … Just seven years ago, the Olympic Green in Beijing was simply awash with my co-workers.

StAss the Mad Russian, Chief Propeller Head, Ty, Ben (no longer) in Florida, The Apostle, Spongemark, SGK, and a host of others in addition to your humble correspondent were dispatched far and wide over Beijing during the 2008 Olympics.
(For some of those tales, head to the left of the page and navigate to Aug of 2008, or click the Olympic tag to see all of that content)

Ah, yes- the agonizingly slow buses to the shoebox-like accommodations, the thorough and very invasive security pat-downs to get in and out of event spaces, the insane traffic as we tried to go from site to site or to see the local attractions, and of course, the spectacle of the opening ceremonies. Good times...good times...

Fast-forward to August 2015, and we (and by we, I mean yours truly, the lone survivor from the Battle of Beijing) are back in the Celestial Kingdom, and once again courting heat stroke, black lung disease and food poisoning as we provide stats interfacing for the Really Big American Network broadcast for the IAAF World Track & Field Championships in the National Stadium (国家体育场北京 aka the Bird's Nest). The former Olympic sites are a little faded and dusty, but the Water Cube and the other structures around the former Olympic site are still very recognizable.

Your humble correspondent is the boots-on-the-ground in Beijing, with very capable tele-support provided back in Florida by St.Ass and  The Apostle. This World Championship is basically a pre-Olympic event, a warm-up if you will, for the Rio Olympics in August 2016.

I had a bit of a scare in the days leading up to departure for the event … The container of equipment for the event was on-site in the port of Tainjin when a warehouse full of chemical and explosives blew up. I was sitting on the edge of my seat to find out if the container was OK. A backup plan was put in place where I would hand-carry the equipment in case the container was damaged, lost or destroyed.

The word came down the day before I left Jacksonville that the container had arrived in Beijing and all was well. (I brought the backup equipment anyway, because you never know.)

On arrival, I found the pre-shipped equipment was in pristine condition. I wish I was in as good condition after the 25 or so travel-hours it took to me get here.

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There is a huge parade and showcase for Chinese militaria next week in front of Tienanmen Square and the Forbidden City, in celebration of the anniversary of the victory over Japanese aggression (not kidding).
They are practicing different aspectds of how they will be screwing up basic services and inconveniencing everyone this week... We got caught in a traffic holdup and after waiting on a freeway offramp for 45 minutes and a van with no A/C, I said Adios MotherF'er and walked to the site... Ain't nobody got time for this.


There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that I set up a Teamviewer app and was running my systems from the bar in the hotel, in order to avoid the traffic and the roasting highways.
No truth at all. None. Nothing to see here... Just move along.



I said move along. Now go.

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My real workstation at the Birds Nest....

So China   Much exotic    Very Broadcast   Amaze.

There is a little Easter egg here that a few folks caught. So worth it.
The TIS Virus lives!!
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A funny story: Everyone knows that the Silk Street Market is a six-floor building dedicated to separating tourists from their money in exchange for counterfeit or poorly made knock-offs of name-brand merchandise and mass-produced tchotchkes and gewgaws.

First-timers are cautioned not to go alone, or at least to be very wary of any deal that seems too good to be true. And this visit was no different.

The crew headed for the Silk Street Market to shop for souvenirs. One of the NBC runners for the event, who we shall call "Ferguson" in order to shield him from further ridicule, split off from the rest of us in search of adventure and treasure.

When we caught up with him later, we found he had not heeded the warnings from the Old China Hands on the crew, and proudly showed off his new "finest quality" Rolex he had just purchased for a ridiculously high "friend-price." Most of us, having seen the gamut of knock-off Rolexes from the shoddy to the near-perfect, gathered around to see how he did.

In a word: Awful.

Crappy band, ticking second hand, lightweight ... It was sad.
And poor Ferguson...
He thought he'd gotten a deal.
They saw him coming and they laid the sales pitch on hard.
Sat him down, gave him a cup of tea, brought out the pretty inlaid wood boxes and gave it to him with both barrels.

Word of his folly spread quickly once we got to the site for work that day...

And to add insult to injury, his painful lesson was reinforced every day, all day long on-site. 
There is a tape source named 'X'. During the broadcast, the director will call cameras and tape sources to be used on the air, and very, very often we will hear the director call "Ready X ... Roll X!" (Rolex! - Get it?)
In the spirit of fun, everyone started calling the source "Ferguson" or "Ferg" - So we heard "Ready Ferg ... Roll Ferg!" instead of “Roll X!” all through the broadcast.
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From our "That Dude is Fucked" Department...



By now everyone should have seen The World's Fastest Man, Usain Bolt get taken out by a Chinese cameraman on a hands-free Segway...
Fortunately Bolt escaped the attack unscathed, later joking that American Justin Gatlin had paid the guy to run him over...
He had a great sense of humor about it.
Not sure the Ogranizing Committee will be as forgiving. They have zero tolerance policy  about public embarrassment. That and the $50,000 camera he destroyed...
I have a feeling that next week Segway CameraDude will be posted in 二连浩特市, (which is so far away that it doesn't have an English pronunciation) and will be videotaping yak turds for the rest of his career.

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Outta here on Monday.


Cannot wait.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE