Wednesday, May 18, 2016

On Engineers & Technicians: Rules to Live By

Regarding Engineers:
Angus McThag opines in response to a previous post:
"Engineers are born such, the education is a formality, thus they get called engineers as soon as they begin the sheepskin ritual."
For the most part, this is true.
Most real Engineers I know I could not possibly imagine in any other occupation.
Taking something apart, putting in (mostly) back together, fixing or adjusting it.
Guys (and a couple women) I know that are deft at wielding a screwdriver or soldering iron would just not look or sound right as a software coder, kindergarten teacher, dog trainer, or barber.
As a Chef, maybe- it's a similar cognitive process...

In reminiscing about some Engineers I have know in my life, I was reminded of an old bit of technical / engineering foolscap from back in my radio days...

Not truly geared toward Engineers per se, but Technicians as a whole.

The Technician’s Ten Commandments
1) Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner. 
2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears may be long. 
3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to radio frequency potential and cause thee to make like a radiator, too. 
4) Tarry not amongst those fools that engageth in intentional shocks, for they are surely non-believers and are not long for this world. 
5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takes the measure of a high voltage circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter, for verily, though thou hast no account number and can be easily surveyed, thy test meter doth have one and, as a consequence, bringeth much woe unto the supply department.  
6) Take care thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, for this incureth the wrath of the supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thy head and shoulders.
7) Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways. 
8) Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou might sizzle in thine own fat for hour upon a hot circuit before thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery.
9) Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.
10) Thou shall not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.

Numbers 7 & 8 are near to my heart, and number 9 always makes me giggle...

TBG - - [Exit- pursued by a charged electron]


Old NFO said...

All good ones, and damn sure true!!!

Mike said...

Good stuff to live by, in this case, quite literally...
I guess you don't mess up with high voltage more than once...

Remember this (the Olde English just reminded me):

"In the Beginning was The Plan
And then came the Assumptions
And the Assumptions were without form
And the Plan was completely without substance
And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And the Workers spoke amongst themselves, saying
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth,
"It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them,
"It is a container of excrement and it is very strong,
such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them,
"It promotes growth and is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him,
"This new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this
Company, and in these Areas in particular."
And the President looked upon The Plan,
And saw that it was good, and The Plan became Policy.
And this is how Shit Happens.

Ben Catoe said...

Don't let the magic smoke out.

Robert said...

Haha, I know this one from 'way back when. Brings back memories. Thanks!