Good Day

Yesterday sucked...
Rained all day.

Today is shaping up better.

The rain slacked off enough to ride my bike to work. Got a bunch of stuff worked out and through the wheels at work.

I think I deserve a nice lunch...

Double Punch Tuesday

Carrying on the tradition of Double Punch Tuesday at Hooters, even while on the road, the CoConspirators and I went to Hooters of Sunrise...

Our waitress was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
2 out of our 4 orders were messed up. Par for the course, actually.

I felt the need to take a picture of her to send back to Jingles at the mothership, as they were lunching at the Hooters on Southside...
Just for comparison, to see how the local competition *ahem* stacked up *ahem*...

This was the photo I had to send... No frontal shot would pass inspection.
I think I just heard someone in the back ask 'why?'...
Did I mention that she wasn't on the top of her game?

She was sporting a nasal anomaly...A very bad case of Bats in the Cave...


Sad, really.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Truth in Advertising

Toys they are...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sales Pitch

Finally back where I can get Cajun Wings for lunch.
Our usual waitress Becky is pushing a giant thermal mug deal... Buy a 2010 calendar, get a free mug.

As she was making her pitch she said one of the day managers told her that it would keep ice frozen all day, which led to the following exchange:

RH: "She's got testimonials."
TBG: "Is that what they are calling them these days?"
I'm not up on all of the street terms...

Hmmm... I just noticed something...

I just drove 2000 miles across Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona... and never stopped at a Hooters.

I'm not sure how that happened.

Well, there's always the return trip.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

PETA's newest lunacy... Sea Kittens.

Give me a break...

From the PETA website which I will not honor with a link...

"People don't seem to like fish. They're slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you're swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat."

So, lets just start calling them something that might bring to mind something cute and cuddly.


Sea Kittens.

PETA thinks that by renaming fish sea kittens, compassionate people who would never dream of hurting a dog or a cat might extend that sympathy to fish, or sea kittens.


Sea Kittens my aching, dying ass.

Have you ever dealt with a wet cat? They aren't cute and cuddly.

Besides the marketing folks have already been hard a work applying new benign names to some pretty scary fish...

For instance-
You might see on the menu something tasty-sounding:

Chilean Sea Bass.
Formerly known as a Patagonian Toothfish.
Srsly, if you saw "Patagonian Toothfish" on the menu, you wouldn't order it, would you? And Dissostichus eleginoides is too damn hard to pronounce.

And I guarantee that if you saw it in the fishmarket, you wouldn't order it...


(Chilean sea bass: Photo by Mike McCune (CC))

And this isn't the first time...
Chefs have a long and storied history of food re-labeling...

Selling skate and stingray as scallops. And 9 times out of 10, when you see grouper on the menu at a restaurant, what your are getting is something only very distantly related to the Gourper/Snapper Complex.
(I like how Hooters Restaurants deal with it... It used to be a Grouper Sandwich.
Now it's the Grouper's Cousin sandwich.)

Another one of my favorites, Monkfish.
A/k/a Lophius piscatorius


Monkfish is tasty tasty!
It is a white-fleshed fish that has the taste and consistency of lobster.

Mmm... Monkfish!!


From Foodtv.ca, recipe here.



But, before it was popular on the menu, Marine Biologists had another name for them...
Anglerfish.


Smile for the camera!

Well, the plan has worked for the restaurant industry, why not for the whole orders of Osteithyes and Chondricthyes.

Sea Kittens.
Well... I guess the only other thing I can mention concerning this on-so-intriguing topic is that, as a rule, Fish (or Sea Kitties) taste like fish.
Kitties (real ones that is) as a whole, taste like chicken.
Trust me on this.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Beyond the bounds of good taste?

I just don't know if this is going to work out...

I mean, the restaurant name "Hooters" is a double-entendre, as is that delightful (not!) wing joint across from 450 Harmon Meadows called "Bazookas"...
One of my favorite slogans is a from a place in Jacksonville called Dick's Wings... The waitresses wear shirts that read "I prefer Dick's to Hooters."
Such a subtle bon mot!

But this new place down in Clearwater...


I just don't know.

(I know- this coming from a guy who recently ran a picture of a girl with her boobs wrapped in bacon smacks of hypocrisy... Sorry.)

Head over to Sticks of Fire and read all about it...

TBG out-

After All-Star...Augusta.

I departed New Orleans none the worse for wear...
As a matter of fact, I got out at about 4:00AM on Sunday morning heading for Augusta.
I had a meeting at A Nice Golf Course there, tinkering about with Laser Beams and reflective prisms.


Eddie and Brian giving the Geodimeter a workout.

The guys from the PGA Tour were there and I absorbed all the info I could about PGA Tour's Laser equipment and how to configure the little monsters.


Amen Corner
It will look completely different by the first week of April.

Jingalls was on his way up to work on a screen projector so I offered to stay behind and help him. He and Jon VDW arrived just in time for Happy Hour at Hooters.

Jim was happy...

Can't you tell?

Dinner at Rinehart's... Mmmm. Shrimp and Oysters.

This was a bit odd...

This was just going on way too long...
It was more than just a "Glad to see you could make it" smooch.
This was more of a "Come over here by the jukebox where our boyfriends can't see us for just a minute and let me give you a proper hello."

Family establishment, my aching, dying ass.

Since we only had drinks at Hooters on Monday night, it was only fitting that we should go there on Tuesday for the Double Punch Lunch...


Jon, Belle and Jimbo.

Good times, good times.

TBG out-

Yet another Hooters pic...

Jim Ingalls in his native environment...


Click picture for full size...

So, Jim... where is that left hand?
(I think I'll be storing this pic in my Pearl Harbor file...Heh)

On the Road - Columbus and The NHL Draft

Ok... Where were we?

Last time we visited I was in San Antonio and Cleveland supporting the NBA Finals.
After we (Blee & Yours Truly) finished with that, we needed to do a little NHL work in Columbus OH, so we (FNG Ryan and Yours Truly) loaded up an Avis rental car with equipment and drove to the Nationwide Arena in Columbus.


From The Instigator...

Ryan from the Help Desk with the designated victim for this trip... It was his turn in the barrel since Sean and Hector had done their time, they figured it was someone else's turn to get abused, berated and beaten down for the better part of a week.

Ryan would be considered a "hottie", based on several indicators during the trip... Afterwards I showed a pic of Ryan to the Perfect Child, my barometer of pop culture and trendiness, who confirmed his Hottie status.


Hottie after 8 hours in the car.


Hottie Technician

"Ooooo." she said. "He IS a hottie!"



Yo, FNG... Stay away from my daughter. She's only 13; I have a shotgun and a shovel, and no one will miss you.

More on Ryan's prowess later.

I'm not sure who schedules events in big cities, but the folks in Columbus must have gotten a big laugh as they were putting together the schedule for Mid June. Wait... Let's hold that thought a second. We actually had to get to Columbus first. No mean feat in itself.

In order to facilitate the trip, I picked up the option on Avis' in-car navagation GPS, the "Where2" Garmin Streetpilot c550. Ours was named Jill and she had a nice Australian accent.



When you program the GPS for your selected destination, Jill will give you good turn-by-turn directions to your destination. And as long as your follow her directions, everything is Ola Kala.
"In 2 miles, turn right on highway 200"
"Bear left on Highway 77. In 1 mile your exit is on the right."

However... If you were to do anything as foolish as take a wrong turn, or miss your exit...or stop for gas... That's when she turns from a sweet, helpful Aussie girl into a Cast-iron Bitch.
And I don't mean that in a good way.

"Please make a U-turn. You have missed your last turn."
"Please return to the highway and follow the original driving directions."
"What is wrong with you, can't your follow simple instructions?"
"Please pull your car over and shut off the engine. You are too stupid to drive a car."

Oh, Jill...She can be a nasty one...

----

I have to say, one benefit of the GPS unit was it's ability to receive traffic bulletins and navigate a detour around delays.


Miles and miles of backed up cars...

Up in the hills of Virginia and West (By God) Virginia, the traffic was at a stand still.
I punched up Jill's "Detour" button and she led us on a merry and scenic chase through the backwoods of Virginia...


Warning signs don't lie...


Back and forth...


Forth and Back...

Pay attention...

The back edge of that truck is a widowmaker...
But if you can't stop make sure you smile as you are decapitated.


Oops. Someone wasn't paying attention.

I kept a sharp ear out for banjo music while Ryan herded us through several miles of twisting and turning roads, eventually returning us to the interstate beyond the roadblock...at a town called, get this... "Bland".

Just up the road, no doubt, from "Spicy".

Good times... good times.

If you take more than 2 or 3 roadtrips a year, pick up a GPS - especially for the Integrated Traffic Broadcast receiver. Definitely worth the $$$.

----

We finally made it into Columbus and went directly to the Arena, just to meet up with Oh-Danny-Boy, JR, Luc from Montreal (One of the "Dirty Dozen" Constant Readers), and Patrick and have a nosh.

Getting back to the point I was making earlier about making schedules for city events...
I'm sure the folks in Event Planning in Columbus got a real giggle as they were planning Mid-June...



Events & Attractions Staffer 1:"Hey, looky here...We have the NHL Draft in town. Why don't we schedule 'Gay Pride Week' at the same time."
Events & Attractions Staffer 2:"We'll have a parade... Maybe a nice concert or two."
E&AS1: "Yeah... And just imagine having the NHL staff, all the media covering the Draft, the new players and their families all sharing the same hotels with the folks in town for Gay Pride Week."
E&AS2: "I'll bet there will be some fireworks! That will get us some exposure in the national media."


"What street did you say the hotel was on?"

Nice move, Columbus. What's next? Kicking it up a notch and scheduling a Klan Rally on Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday?
Here's a dollar- go buy a clue.

----


One evening we were having dinner at Ted's Montana Grill...
(If you go, try the bison. I had a rib eye, medium rare. Awesome.)
There about 11 of us...sitting outside since the restaurant didn't have a table inside big enough for our group. It was Dan, JR, Luc, Patrick, Yours Truly, Ryan the Hottie, Ned, DL, and a host of hangers-on looking for a free feed on the NHL's dime.

Midway through dinner, our waitress came out to do drink refills and had another waitress helping out. Since she really didn't need help carrying out another pitcher of Sam Adams, the reason for the second waitress became apparent.
She introduced herself (Lindsey) to Ryan, asked if he was married or had a girlfriend, wanted to know if he was looking for a girlfriend (it IS Gay Pride Week and all...) then went back inside.
Ryan pretty much took it was a certain air of non-chalance bordering on boredom. Like it happens to him all the time.

A short while later we had another visit from Lindsey... This time she gave Ryan a folded sheet of paper- "Here's my phone number. Call me."
He took it without even a "Thank you"...slipped it into his pocket and promptly went back to his burger without a second thought.

We were astounded.

I believe it was Mark Twain who said "Youth is wasted on the young."

Truer words were never spoken.

Post Script- He "forgot" the slip of paper with the phone number at the hotel the next morning.

We need to work on his social skills...



The women are just falling off the trees around this guy. A sad commentary on the state of the young women today... I'm going to have to have a chat with the PC and the concept of "Hard to Get"...

----

The NHL hardware installation went well...
Issues arose, ensued, were overcome.


RtH and Patrick working on the system.


Hey... Nice rack!

There was much rejoicing.

The Nationwide Arena in Columbus is a pretty cool facility. Lots of good restaurants in the area, a good selection of bars, and the staff at the arena was very helpful and technically capable.
They have an odd take on how to secure an IDF closet...

No knob, deadbolt or hasp. Just a sign.
Yeah, that will keep the riff-raff out.

Perhaps it is a tradeoff of security vs. cost. A "Keep Out" sign is much cheaper than a locking doorknob.


Ned and DL were on hand in Columbus to meet with the NHL Broadcasters. All went well, or so we assume since we didn't get a call to throw bail or or otherwise rescue them from either crazed broadcasters or frenzied "Pride Week" celebrants.
We picked up the equimpment they had on-hand for their presentation about midnight to transport it back to Jacksonville with us the next day. Somehow it grew from one large case to one large case, one medium case, two boxes and a bag. Let me add that to my resume... Delivery Boy.
Amazing.

----

Ryan the Hottie and I lit out Thursday AM- around 7 or so.

The trip home was mostly uneventful... I drove the entire 800+ miles that day. We stopped twice for gas enroute - (Toyota Highlander- big "Thumbs up" for gas milage.) and once for lunch, where, once again, Ryan had a girl throw herself at him...


This is not her...

We stopped at Hooters (suprise, no?) in Statesville NC.
The waitress practically threw herself at Ryan...Making inane conversation, making lewd and suggestive remarks, drooling on the table as she gazed longingly at him, not unlike a starving dog begging at the table during a steak dinner.
Did he capitalize on the situation? No. Who, praytell, carried the burden of the conversation upon his broad shoulders?
Yours truly, of course. Heh.

Sad, really.

----

We made it home... 13.5 hours, including the 30 minutes we spend trying to remove Sarah the Hooters waitress from the back bumper of the car... She clung to the back fender, promising all manner of indentured servitude to Ryan "Just so I can be close to you!" she pleaded.

Pitiful...

I did get a kick out out of the Runaway Truck Ramps on I77...



The concept is that if you are going downhill on these highways and you have a brake failure, you hit one of these to stop your truck.



I'm not sure I'd want to hit one of these things in a truck while doing 70 or 80 miles per hour... It looks more like a Launch Ramp than an Escape Ramp. I'm envisioning an Evel Knievel-style-over-Snake-River thing.
We don't have these in Florida- I can just see Bubba and Skeeter on a boring Wednesday night...
"Hey Skeeter... Here's one o' them escape ramps... Watch this. I saw this in a cartoon once. You best hang on...."

Fun fun fun.

4 days to Loggerhead. I can barely stand it.

TBG out-

Raleigh-Durham NC

This is not really a good thing...

That's how it always starts...
"Oooh. Wings. Ah... Hooters girls."
Later there is the running and the screaming.

And police.

Can you say "restraining order"?

TBG out-

Wings and Shotguns

Every year after our company Christmas Party we have the day off.
Sometimes we play golf, once we went bowling, and occasionally we go out to the North Florida Gun Club and shoot a couple rounds of skeet or trap.

This year, we gathered at Hooters and chowed down on wings and weak American beer, then headed up to the Northside.

It was cold. I mean really cold.

Jim and Zack, waiting in the 30 degree chill for their turn to shoot...


Andy Doremus at Station 5. Watch out for ejected cartidges...


Yours Truly at Station 6.


Ben, Zack, Croc & Jim. Slowly freezing to death...

Just one bit o' advice for the Croc...
When you call for your target, wait until you actually see the target before you fire the shotgun.

Preferred method:
"Pull!"..............Bang!

Croc method:
"Pull!"BANG!

The clay pigeon laughed and waved as it flew off to the north...

We had a great selection of guns- Ben was shooting Ron H's Mossberg 500 riot gun, Jim had his Benelli Black Eagle, I brought my Beretta a390 and my Stoeger, Eric had his pump Remington, I think...

Not pictured, but still in attendance...
Eric Geisler, Ryan "Tommy Boy" Laird.

325 12-guage rounds later we departed...
Even with the 20 mile per hour winds and temps in the high 30s, we'd had a great time.

Famous, out!

Sacramento

World Teamtennis - Sacramento Capitals

Sacramento was HOT... I mean it was smokin'!
It was so hot, I saw Satan hisself in Lowes trying to buy an oscillating fan...
Seriously, When I got to the tennis site at 11:30 it was 104 degrees.
Hot-hot-hot...
I did some prework, took a good look around the site then got the hell out.
I quickly found a bar and immersed myself in a huge rum drink and watched the World Cup Finals match... Hunter and I traded SMS messages all afternoon during the game...
(There is a nice Caribbean-themed bar/restaurant on Sunrise in Citrus Heights called Barbacoa Breeze. Good music, tasty food... Definitely worth a stop.)
When the game was over I headed to the hotel- Much better than the Motel 6- it was a Marriott- (Ranch Cordova, for those keeping score.)

My equipment arrived the next morning and I spent the rest of the day putting the scoreboards in place and running my cables...
I arranged to have scoreboards placed with adequate clearspace for crowd entry/egress. I also discussed possibility for installing castor wheels on scoreboards as the Fire Marshall had already made a visit to the site and warned them about the need for emergency exits from the court.
I installed the ad panels and did the scoring position setup and testing.

I headed over to Fry's Electronics to pick up some pieces and parts...

(If you don't know Fry's, man, you need to get out to California and visit one... What a cool place. Imagine Best Buy on Nerd Steroids... All the cool parts, pieces, tools, gewgaws, knicknacks, and doodads... It is truly Nerd-vana...)

When I came out of the store I noticed I had a flat tire...
(&*%$@#*&#$@%$@*&%%$#@#$#*&^%#!#@$%&&%$#*&+@#!$%$@&!!!!!)
Did I mention it's &^%$ng hot here? Like 100 degrees?

I called Avis roadside assistance...just to explore the possibilities...
(Note to frequent renters- call from a local phone. Save yourself 20 minutes of bull$#|+... the Roadside Assistance system had number recognition and will route you to the facility for your area code/exchange...Forget that when you give them your Rental Agreement Number they know you rented the car at the airport in Sacramento...
Hence this conversation:
Roadside Assistance: "So, you have a flat tire. Where exactly are you?"
Yours Truly: "I'm on Northgate Ave near I-80."
RA: "Hmmm. Northgate? Don't you mean Gateway on I-95?"
YT: "No.. I'm in Sacramento, just off I-80."
RA: "Are you sure? You're calling from a Jacksonville exchange."
YT: "Uh, yeah. I'm calling from my cell phone."
RA: Long pause as the concept took hold.
RA: "Okay... So... can you call back from a payphone? That way the call will be routed to the correct office."
YT: "You must be kidding.")

I changed the tire myself and took the car back to the Airport and got a new car.

Dinner? Glad you asked. I went to Hooters on Truxel...
(Alas, it was a franchisee, so I didn't get to have Cajun wings. Almost ruined my night.)

The next morning I went back to the site and the scoreboards had been put on wheels.


Hmmm...

Large scratches on the court surface in front of one of my scoreboards.

Hmmm...

Green court surface residue on the top of my ad panel...

Double Hmmm.

A closer inspection shows that north end scoreboard had been dropped.
(No one volunteered any info, and short of accusing malfeasance, I let the matter lie since testing showed no permanent damage. Re-seated digit displays and tested the hardware... It all seemed OK.
I believe the Ops guys lifted the scoreboard with forklift in order to install the wheels, and accidently dropped it.

I had good rapport with these guys and didn't want to endanger it by accusations and recriminations, so I just filed the pictures in my Pearl Harbor folder and went about the business of Tennis Scoring.

The girl that had been tasked with scoring operations showed up at 12:00 and I gave her some Special High Intensity Training...

She's pretty sharp- looks like she won't have any problem handling the system.
By the way, I need to mention the SHE'S ONLY 17. Get your collective minds out of the gutter.

I was running my webcam during the day, for the benefit of the guys beck in the Help Desk...

Kaitlin- Scoring Volunteer Extraordinaire.


Kaitlin and one of her partners in crime, little sister...


A message for Chris Crews of the Help Desk.


The obligatory girls-in-the-crowd shot.

The event was a breeze- no problems, no real issues.
I was out by 11:00-
I grabbed a burger at the In-N-Out Burger on Sunrise and was blissfully asleep by 1:00.
I slept like a baby.

I even wet the bed.

Noon flight the next day...

Back on Continental, I tried for a bulkhead seat- No joy.
But, the Patron Saint of Frequent Flyers, Saint Shaniqua, smiled upon me and the gate agent brought me an upgrade just before they closed the door...
Bulkhead row in business class. I must be living right.

The movie was the Pink Panther...
Not too shabby. Steve Martin did a reasonable job with the character...
I probably like the original better- Sellers (rest his poor demented soul) did a much better Clouseau- not quite so over-the-top.
Still, the movie was enjoyable, though.
And it killed the 3 hours to Houston admirably.

IAH to Jax- Another upgrade and a walk in the park...

(Hey- Continental is serving soup in Biz Class for Lunch and Dinner these days.
Corn chowder on the first flight and a really good cream of mushroom on the second.)

I was back in the humidity-laden air of North Florida by 10:30p...

An hour later, a large spotted dog was digging her tonenails into my chest and clearing the end tables with her wagging tail.
A fine welcome home.

Famous, out.

Off to the Stanley Cup Finals

Heading to Raleigh for the first Stanley Cup Finals game...

Hector the Connector & Yours Truly are heading to Charlotte then driving to Raleigh for the game...
Things that make ya go Hmmm: Is there a Hooters near the arena in Raleigh?

While you wait for any exciting content from the trip, I'll leave you with this Public Service Announcement:



Amazing out-