Observations: Toronto

Lester Pearson sucks.
(The airport, not Lester himself. At least I assume. I've never met him.)
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Canada C&I - Nexus is awesome.
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Jeebus it's COLD!!
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Downtown Toronto has some great undergound passages to get from one place to another... I assume some Torontonians don't see the sky between November and April.
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If you're looking for good Chinese food downtown, Hong Shing on Dundas is a good place to go. If time and travel are not an issue, head out to Markham or Richmond Hill. Tell 'em Uncle Jay sent you.
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In Toronto, even if you have a rental car, Uber is your friend. (At least for the moment.) Taxis and parking are stupid expensive.
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There is a preponderance of Bernie '16, Feel the Bern, and Hillary! bumper stickers on Ontario-tagged cars.
Too many for my taste...
Tells me everything I want to know about the average Canadian's  Socialist/Progressive leanings.
Stay in your lane, assholes. We're trying to run and election down here south of 48 degrees. If you want a say in our politics, pony up, immigrate legally, and pay your fucking share of taxes down here.
Otherwise, STFU.
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Did I mention it's fucking COLD here?
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Good poutine is pretty good.
Bad poutine is fucking awful.
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For a red meat fix downtown, Copacabana Rodizio on Adelaide St. can put you in a meat coma in short order.
The parmesan sirloin is amazing. And the cinnamon pineapple is to die for.
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There is a dearth of signage at Lester Pearson... Hey airport authority, how about some signage on the train, the parking garages, and some of the smaller access roads.
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F this place. I'm outta here.
It's too fucking cold.
TBG.

Tires, Weather & Conditions

I had been having a little issue with air pressure in the FJR in November and early December.
Before I went to Australia, the back tire would lose about 10lbs of air overnight.
Somehow the problem spread to the front tire over the holiday and on my return both tires were flat.

I keep a mini compressor in one of the panniers and was quickly back to pressure, but the front tire would drop 20 lbs in just a couple hours.

 Did you know you can buy motorcycle tires on Amazon for about 30% off what the dealers charge? Yeah-
One dealership said they install their tires free, but the same model tires were almost twice as expensive as the ones I had shipped in.
One wouldn't install customer-supplied tires on a bike at all, the third place I called said they'd do it but it would be $140/tire (basically 2 hours labor per tire).

 I rang up the guy who hunted down my electrical problem last year- He quoted me a flat $120 to do both including new stems.
Sold American!
So now the FJR has new shoes, and I don't spend 30 minutes pumping up my tires in the morning and before I head home from the office.

 Last week the temps were pretty moderate here in North Florida...
Highs were topping out in the high 70s- and surprisingly, all the two-wheeled SMTers had the same thought...
Yeah- love to see all the different bike styles lined up in front of the building...

Weather has deteriorated some this week-
Pretty cold this AM...
Constant Reader & proofreader-from-a-distance Luc shot me a note with a spelling correction (thanks dude) and we touched on my travel for this week as part of the conversation.
Luc's from Canuckistan, where he last saw his lawn in October and won't see real (local) dirt again until April.
I was lamenting that I was heading to Toronto in the AM which he found amusing.

Having just rode in from the Beaches in high 30-degree temps, I really didn't see how a couple days in Toronto would be any different that just staying in Jax.
I'm not sure he believed me...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Canada Owns Us...

Bad enough that the Canadian women's hockey team beat the US Women in OT.
Especially when shit like this happens...


As Maxwell Smart would have said: "Missed it by that much."

But last night the US men screwed the pooch.

Man, the Canadians are going to be apologizing for that all week...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cold & Hot

Y'know...
it's probably pretty tasteless to complain about this, since all I see in my RSS reader is about how all the Constant Readers are freezing their parts off.
But dude...It's fucking roasting down here.


Serially.


Hot. Hothothot.

At least you folks back in the 'States can layer up. Just keep stacking it on.
3 T-Shirts, a sweat shirt, a hoodie, 2 jackets, a cable-knit sweater mom made for you that WAS 4 sizes too big, a parka and an overcoat.

That shit doesn't work down here...
There are only so many layers you can take off before you get a tap on the shoulder from a local policeman who wants to chat about why you are only dressed in sneakers, socks, a hat, sunscreen, and a knowing smile.

Cop: "Sir? We've had some complaints..."

For a place that has full frontal nudity on network TV during prime time, they sure have some odd notions of 'appropriate behavior behaviour'...

And now we just wait for a comment from Luc, a/k/a Captain Canada bitching about it being -30C and how he had to FINALLY go dig out the box of 'cool weather' attire and find a light jacket to wear to the lake this weekend.


(I think the hockey stick on the tactical sling really completes the picture.)


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Laboring On Labor Day Weekend

Sunday AM: Air Canada Center Centre
(I wish the darned Canucki would learn to spell.)

Day Three and a half in Toronto...Day 54 since I've been home, and day 82.5 of this project.

Woo hoo.

I'm needing some musical attitude adjustment.

The Perfect Child turned me on to this one, and it's perfect for the way I'm feeling today...
(The PC is probably quite pleased with the USF win over Notre Dame yesterday...
Even if it did require Divine Intervention to get it done.)

Zac Brown Band - Knee Deep
(Feat. Jimmy Buffett)

Gonna put the world away for a minute
Pretend I don't live in it
Sunshine gonna wash my blues away
Had sweet love but I lost it
She got too close so I fought it
Now I'm lost in the world tryin to find me a better way

Wishin' I was
Knee deep in the water somewhere
got the blue sky, breeze and it don't seem fair
the only worry in the world
is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise, there's a fire in the sky
never been so happy
never felt so high
and I think I might've found me my own kind of paradise

Wrote a note, said "Be back in a minute"
Bought a boat and I sailed off in it
Don't think anybody's gonna miss me anyway
Mind on a permanent vacation
The ocean is my only medication
Wishin' my condition ain't ever gonna go away

Now I'm knee deep in the water somewhere
Got the blue sky breeze blowin' wind thru my hair
Only worry in the world
is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise, there's a fire in the sky
never been so happy
never felt so high
and I think I might've found me my own kind of paradise

This champagne shore washin' over me
It's a sweet sweet life livin' by the salty sea
One day you can be as lost as me
Change your geography and maybe you might be

Knee deep in the water somewhere
got the blue sky breeze blowin' wind thru my hair
only worry in the world
is the tide gonna reach my chair
Sunrise, there's a fire in the sky
never been so happy
never felt so high
and I think I might've found me my own kind of paradise

Come on in
the waters nice
find yourself a little slice
grab a bag
pack it light you'll never know until you try
when you lose yourself
you find the key to paradise

TBG - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Busy Busy

Been busier than a set of jumper cables at a family reunion in Mississippi, so blogging has been a bit light...
A few posts and observations have been building up...  

1. Food Options

One thing about spending many many non-event hours in arenas is that food options are somewhat limited.
If you don't want to break the work flow by leaving the building to get lunch, you have two options...
Either brown bag it, or... Machine Cuisine
Mmm. Stale Doritos. Yum.

2. Quote of the Week - Edmonton to Calgary edition.

The trip between Edmonton and Calgary has some really wide open spaces. JR: "Dan Craig described it like this- If your dog ran away on Monday, on Sunday you could still see him running." True dat.

3. Beverage of Choice

I'm not a beer drinker...
So when there's a dearth of Rum,
(Or like in Edmonton where it's $8 CAD for a Captain & Coke)
I do have options...
A nice cool glass of Johnny Jump Up...

I'll tell you a story that happened to me,
One day as I worked in Edmonton AB;
The sun it was bright and the day it was warm;
Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm.

I went in to a bar for a bottle of stout.'
Says the barkeep to me 'All the beer is sold out;
Try whiskey or brandy, ten years in the wood.'
Says I, 'I'll try cider, I've heard that it's good.'

[Chorus:]
Oh never, oh never, oh never again,
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten;
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up,
After drinking a quart of that Johnny Jump Up!

4. Location is Everything

Where else would you expect to find Moriarty but in Sherlock Holmes' shadow?
Pretty creative bar names.

And last, and probably the most puzzling...

5. Damn, they've got some mean junkies in Calgary. 


a. That's a pretty stout container.
They have to make it hard to get at the goodies inside...

b. ...Because the Calgary junkies have no problem with stealing and using used needles, I guess.

c. Big container... Is that because they're using giant needles? Or is it a quantity thing?

d. This receptacle was outside the Saddledome and the Calgary Stampede grounds...
Lots of junkies at the hockey games and the rodeo?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

WeatherBitching

So... at 4:45am PDT it was 64 degrees in Vancouver.
So cool, so nice...

I got to my stopover in Phoenix.

101 degrees. Holy crap!

Just exiting the plane to the jetbridge felt like stepping into a pizza oven.

Upon arrival in Texas it was even worse- 5:00 PM and it was 104, and the WeatherIdiots are calling for a high of 108 tomorrow.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Overheard in the Hotel

One of The Co-Conspiritors related this story from yesterday morning...

When CC1 came down to the lobby at 10:30am, a girl strode into the elevator he'd just vacated, moving with stride and purpose...
She was well dressed- high heels, long straight wet hair, sunglasses...

As CC1 was head toward the door, he heard her yell to the front desk clerk:

"Hey! What floor is room 302 on?"

CC1 just shook his head.

Interestingly, the CCs started to leave but one forgot some needed item and they returned to the hotel just a minute or two after departing...
302 Girl was coming out the front door. She jumped in a waiting taxi and took off.

Needless to say, 302 and her Quickie was the topic of much speculation that day...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Rough Days

[Whine Mode=ON]

Bitch bitch bitch... It's all I ever do.
Blee recently told me I was becoming a Bitter Old Man.
(And as of yesterday, just another candle closer, and thanks to all y'all who sent birthday wishes.)

But, the bitching... I haz it.
In my defense, I have good reason... Let me shares it wif you.

Let's start on on the morning of June 3 and carry it through last night.

June 3 - Buffalo NY
12:30am Arrive back at the hotel after a looooong day in the arena.
-5 hours of restless sleep later-
6:30am - Get lazy ass out of the snug bed at the Hampton Inn.
- Pack - Shower - Shave - Etc
7:30am - Check out of Hotel - Head to HSBC Arena
8:00am - Work Work Work
-Whip cracking and threats of bodily harm to all and sundry regarding the 3:00pm airport departure schedule.
3:30pm - Drag co-conspirators, kicking and screaming, to BUF, to board our collective flights to our next victim location.
4:00p - 4:45p - Check in and clear TSA screening. Surprisingly smooth. The TSA groper used plenty of lube this time.
5:00p - Drink Drink Drink at bar near gate 23.
6:55p - Head to Gate, beg/cajole/plead for exit row or bulkhead. Good: Seat A1 Bad: Aircraft is a GauchoJet RJ140 - a/k/a the toothpaste tube with wings.
Even that seat is cramped and narrow in the RJ.
6:56p - 7:35p - Wishing hateful karma on Delta for using toy jets for flinging us through the sky.
Unfortunately, nothing happens.

7:45p - 8:45p - Flight - BUF-DTW

8:45p - Arrive Detroit - head to connecting gate.

-Howcome?-

I've been business traveling for 105 dog years, and I have formulated Uncle Jay's Theory of Geographical Aberration:
Where ever you are, the place you need go is as far as reasonably possible from your current location, or it is in a location that is undesirable for uncontrollable reasons.
(It doesn't really roll off the tongue like Murphy's "What can go wrong, will go wrong.", but let me spell out the situation and you see if you can give me a more lyrical or poetic-like version.)

So: Uncle Jay's Theory of Geographical Aberration
TBG is in Buffalo, needs to be in Ottawa at 8 the next morning.
Through a series of conditions (reasonable airfares, rental car availability, departure time/date, ad inifinitum) to get to Ottawa will require flights from Buffalo to Detroit to Montreal, then driving (2.5 hrs) to Ottawa upon arrival in Montreal.
Got that? (BUF - DET - MTL - OTT - MTL)
(Yes, I know I could drive BUF to OTT in less time. But one-way rentals from US to CAN are a no-go. Thanks for playing.)

A further example of Geographical Aberration was evidenced with the gates in DTW... I arrived at Gate C43, and my connecting flight was a B18.

That's a long &%$#@ing walk, children.

The Hotel version of this aberration was in evidence in all my recent stays...
In Minneapolis, St. Louis, and Buffalo, my room was as far away from the elevator as physically possible.
Here in Ottawa, it was the polar opposite- my room was right next to the elevator...
So I got to enjoy the attendant bump, grind and creak each time the elevator went by my floor.
Is there another room not quite so close to the elevator?
Yes. But it's a smoking room.
%$#@&!

Back to the whining story...

Where were we? Ah, Detroit Metro.
9:10p - Arrive at Gate B18...
Beg, plead & cajole for an bulkhead or Emergency Row.
No.
How's 'bout an aisle... Surely someone wants to look out at the darkness.
Nope.
Lovely. Seat 19A. On an MD88.

Flight is at 9:57pm...
We were boarded and ready by 9:45

9:57p - Still at gate.
10:05 - Still at gate.
10:15 - Guess where we are now.
10:20 - Pilot found his keys, we leave the gate.

11:55p - Arrive Montreal
12:00m - Start of June 4. Happy birthday to me.
12:11A - Arrive Canadian C&I
There are 3 agents working the arrivals, and probably 5 flights arrived at the same general time...

Screw the crowd control barriers.

12:48A - My turn.
C&I - "Hi. What's your business?"
TBG - "Testing newly installed equipment; Training local guys to use it."
C&I - "Ok. On your way."

Wow.

12:56a - Avis counter
Avis Agent: "Let's see... What can we give you? I've got a Santa Fe or a Dodge Charger? Or..."
He dangles 2 key fobs in front of me.
"I have a White Challenger or a Blue Challenger... Mmmmm. V-8, racing stripes, satellite radio, full ride. Only cost you $30 more per day."
I have to drive 200+ km tonight... Don't tempt me...

1:12am - Depart YUL in a dark blue Hyundai Santa Fe SUV.
3:25Am - Arrive at hotel Kanata
3:32Am - In room. Right next to the Elevator.
-sleep sleep sleep-
7:20Am - Alarm goes off.
7:40am - Meet one of my co-conspirators in lobby.
8:00AM - Arrive arena. They are not expecting us.
Phone calls are made, threats implied, bribes offered.

8:35AM - Building guy arrives, lets us in, unlocks work space.
(For a guy that was dragged in at 8:30 on a Saturday morning, he was surprisingly nice to us.)
8:45a - Begin Documentation & Deconstruction
10:54 - Additional compatriots arrive.
10:55a - Finish D&D. Hand off empty rack and hardware to Collaborators.
10:56a - Clean up, document review, hardware cleaning
7:40PM - Depart Arena
7:50pm - D'arcy McGees - Dinner & Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Final.

Astute Constant Readers will note that at this point I've had 3 hours sleep in more than 36 hours.
This, as has been said is A Bad Move.
Lack of Sleep + Rum + Pub Environment = Trouble

Ok... No rum.
Cider.

Strongbow cider a/k/a Johnny Jump Up.

I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood
Says I, I'll try cider, I've heard it was good.

Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up
After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up

After a bit o' tasty grub and a couple pints of Strongbow, the Canucks and the Bruins were tied 2 each...
We departed the pub before I did Something Stupid® and headed back to the Hotel.
I was mostly asleep before the 3rd period started, but I did wake up for the beginning of the Overtime period...
Good job, Vancouver...

Hell of a way to spend a birthday...

[Whine Mode=OFF]

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Heritage Classic Revisited

One especially nice network segment was a fiber link between
HITS and Scoreboard Control...
(I send them score info, they give me clock data.)

HITS was up in the press box and scoreboard control was down at the field level, in a tent at the foot of the old scoreboard.

So, to get data back and forth we were allowed to re-task some existing fiber.
The fiber termination in the press box was easy- just get the building guy to open the room and BANG - Bob's yer uncle- fiber transceiver installed -thankewberrymuch...

The other end, however...

That involved a locked door too- and a 60' climb made for itty-bitty sign monkeys, and a crawlspace that would give a cockroach claustrophobia.

Door:


Then the ladder:

Yeah- that's 60' to the top.
And it's kinda hard to tell- but the space is very narrow.
So narrow in fact that I couldn't fit through the level partitions with my jacket and sweater on... I had to go up just wearing my shirt and jeans...
And even then it was pretty tight. And bloody f@#*ing cold. I was worried I'd need a shoehorn to get my ass back down to ground level when I was finished.

Top floor: Find the Fiber Cross-connect Box

It's down at the far side of the structure-
I thought the ladder plenum was tight...
This was worse.

Ok. Transceiver installed, network connection made, let's get out of this icebox and into a hot toddy.

Time to go down the ladder.

By this time the cold has set in; I'm shaking like a dog trying to pass a peach pit, my fingers are cramping up from the cold and I'm having a problem hanging onto the rungs of the ladder, but I made it.

I had one thought to console me after the Scoreboard Ordeal...

That, at 9:00pm or later on Sunday night, I'd have to climb back in that beast, remove my transceiver and re-set the original fiber connections...

My life is a carnival.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Calgary - Hotel Amenities

One thing I have to say about the NHL Leper Colony Vendor Hotel (Sheraton Suites) is that they had one cool amenity at their concierge desk...

Ben the Dog


Feeling lonesome? Need some canine quality time?
Schedule an hour with Ben and go for a walk in the park near the hotel.

Quintessential Chocolate Lab- he was awesome. Patient, well-behaved, photogenic...



As Travis would say "Labs are awesome."

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Heritage Classic - The Lost Posts

I was busier than a one-toothed man at a corn-on-the-cob eating contest this past week. I had plenty of material, just no time to throw it up on the 'blog...
So...as time permits over the next couple days you should see some belated
Heritage Classic content.

Here's a starter:

Are you kidding me, or what?
This IS Canada, right?
What the hell good is 2 beers?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Canadian Oddities - Curling

JR: "Hey everyone, Lets Go Curling!
Everyone: "Yay! Let's go!

So I have just left the airport,  driving through the snowdrifts trying to get the hotel in downtown Calgary, and I get a text from JR.

JR to TBG: Hotel Lobby, 8:20. Curling.

Lovely.

I still haven't recovered from the double testicle-grope at TSA or the anal probe I got from Canadian Customs & Immigration...
CCI:"Looks like you had a felony charge against you in 1995... Tell us about it."
TBG:"What?! You're going to have to tell ME about it, since I don't know anything about it. Last time I was in jail was that little incident in Panama in 1981."

TBG to JR: "Will there be booze & food?"
You've got to have your priorities.

JR to TBG: "Restaurant & Full Bar."

Ok... Twist my arm.

So... Here I am in th e lobby-
8:15 - Nobody
8:20 - Still alone
8:25 - Fuggit. They left me.

TBG to JR: "8:20 in lobby. Where is everyone?"

JR to TBG: "Oops. Lobby at Westin. Forgot we have you in the OTHER hotel."

(Apparently ne'er-do-wells and sub-standard peons like Yours Truly get to stay at the OTHER hotel... The NHL Leper Colony Inn, I guess.)

So, a 3 block walk in -2 degree temps later, I was on the bus and we were off to the North Hill Curling Club for an evening of slipping and sliding and tossing 40lb hunks of granite at each other.

First, a little orientation, a demonstration, a warning and some rules.

Don't pick up the stones, slide them; if you're a righty, slider goes on your left foot. Get the rocks in the circle. If you fall, get up quick- we don't like butt-prints melted into the sheets.

And we were off-

Team IT was amusing.
DanO, JR, Scott & Luc were playing against a crew from Events- Dean, Sofia and two staffer I didn't know.

I got quite a few action shots-


Luc started things off... He had quite a knack for the game and will be joining a curling club back in Montreal when he goes home. He might even build a curling sheet in the backyard at his humble abode.


DanO listens to a strategy discussion between Dean and Sofia prior to his first throw.


The actual throw is less graceful than planned...

But he did improve his form through the evening...

Ahhh. A much smoother delivery.

JR had some issues...

A good line up...


Nice control...

And for the release...

Carefully...carefully



Uh oh... Better pull that tongue in, you ain't Michael Jordan.

And down he goes...

The USS JR has capsized...

He's quickly back on his feet, though... No damage done.

He had a few other issues-

He needed assistance to get the slider on his foot. Dean, from the other team took pity on him and gave him an assist.

Sofia showed good form on her delivery...

Nice extension. Very artistic...

Scott had an interesting delivery too.

Kind of a stand-up form.

Hey, whatever works for you...


DanO and JR were on-hand to sweep the stone down the sheet...


For a bunch of noobs, the game was quite competitive.

Team IT landing a stone in the center ring...


Curling - It's not just Snowbilly Bowling...

HOWEVER -
As much as they tried to tell us how important things like Respect, Decorum, Adherence to the Rules, and Good Sportsmanship were, there was a group on one of the far sheets that were playing by some odd variation on standard curling rules.

Ummm. Ouch!?

Hmmm. Maybe I'll look into membership at a local curling club...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Calgary - A/K/A The 3rd Circle of Hell

...Please don't feed Cerberus as you make you way to Baggage Claim.

Nice doggy...

They weren't just whistlin' Dixie at Intellicast...


From my dashboard infosystem:

And that is while I'm sitting in the sunshine at the airport...

You'd think that folks that live up here in the Frozen Tundra would know how to drive in icy conditions.

Obviously the local pick 'em up-driving Snowbillies are having issues with vehicle control too.

The tracks left by this fender bender are puzzling...
I shot another snap as I went past in the opposite direction, just to get the full impact (heh) of the mishap...

Amazing how he just barely missed the traffic control post as he skidded to a halt. The back fender must have missed the upright by millimeters...

Ah well- off to work...

Time for walkabout in McMahon Stadium...

Home of the CFL Stampeders (The Stamps for short)


Man, it looks coooold out there.
I'm here to tell ya, it's cold³.

And since it's so damn cold, let's go walk around in it.

First- a hike up to the top of the temporary stands.
Much more dangerous than it sounds, actually.


This is why- there is a coating of the really really really cold white stuff on most of the steps.

This makes the climb treacherous enough.

But events conspire to push the risk to the next level, so to speak.
Hidden under the icy rime is the fact that some of the flooring planks aren't fastened down completely.
One false step and you'll fall down through the scaffolding like a pachinko ball.

This little widowmaker is up at the top where the cold wind has blown away the crust of snow, but also made the temp of the aluminum structure about -30°F.
Don't touch it with your bare hand, Florida Boy... Let someone else fix it.

Nice view from the top, though. Worth the climb.

If the wind isn't blowing too hard, these might be the best seats in the house.

The view from HITS isn't too bad...

It'll be Hockey under the Lights-
Puck drop is February 20th at 4:00pm , Sundown is at 6:01pm that night.
Breakdown is going to be a joy.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE