Where my lime, bitch?
My Corona need a lime, dammit.
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Showing posts with label Beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Beer. Show all posts
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Heritage Classic - The Lost Posts
I was busier than a one-toothed man at a corn-on-the-cob eating contest this past week. I had plenty of material, just no time to throw it up on the 'blog...
So...as time permits over the next couple days you should see some belated
Heritage Classic content.
Here's a starter:
Are you kidding me, or what?
This IS Canada, right?
What the hell good is 2 beers?
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
So...as time permits over the next couple days you should see some belated
Heritage Classic content.
Here's a starter:
Are you kidding me, or what?
This IS Canada, right?
What the hell good is 2 beers?
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
NBA All Star Weekend - New Orleans
-or-
It's not Rocket Surgery...
We've been installing several miles of cables for our normal stats and clock feeds here in New Orleans for the NBA's All Star game... This year we're in New Orleans...
If you want to look back on last year's trip-to-hell, click here.
This year has been fun...
First- getting here... I had 4 equipment cases (laptops, modems, cables, etc) to drag along so I figured I'd save a little dough on excess baggage and airfare and drive over here from Jacksonville...
Wow. 10 hours behind the wheel, listening to podcasts and dodging deer & possums on I-10 across North Florida.
But... I made it.
Loads of fun here so far. It rained all day on Tuesday- It put us a little behind, but Bill L. and I got the arena TV truck compound cables run and tested before end of day today.
During the rain yesterday we hit the cabling for the Jam Session at the convention center and got that squared away, so we actually did OK.
Just a few pics of the going-on here in New Orleans...
John R working on some unique new server installed in the IT Trailer...
Tweaking the flux capacitor on the new server.
Testing the output
"Of course it works! The NBA IT Staff can install anything."
----
Elsewhere in New Orleans...
Signs of the Apocalypse
Two for $150...
Do that include installation?
----
Sadness.
I has it.
Yup. It's closed.
So sad.
----
TBG out-
It's not Rocket Surgery...
We've been installing several miles of cables for our normal stats and clock feeds here in New Orleans for the NBA's All Star game... This year we're in New Orleans...
If you want to look back on last year's trip-to-hell, click here.
This year has been fun...
First- getting here... I had 4 equipment cases (laptops, modems, cables, etc) to drag along so I figured I'd save a little dough on excess baggage and airfare and drive over here from Jacksonville...
Wow. 10 hours behind the wheel, listening to podcasts and dodging deer & possums on I-10 across North Florida.
But... I made it.
Loads of fun here so far. It rained all day on Tuesday- It put us a little behind, but Bill L. and I got the arena TV truck compound cables run and tested before end of day today.
During the rain yesterday we hit the cabling for the Jam Session at the convention center and got that squared away, so we actually did OK.
Just a few pics of the going-on here in New Orleans...
John R working on some unique new server installed in the IT Trailer...
Tweaking the flux capacitor on the new server.
Testing the output
"Of course it works! The NBA IT Staff can install anything."
----
Elsewhere in New Orleans...
Signs of the Apocalypse
Two for $150...
Do that include installation?
----
Sadness.
I has it.
Yup. It's closed.
So sad.
----
TBG out-
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Party Time
Dan and Anita had a housewarming a couple weeks ago.
A good time was had by all...
Some people had a better time than others. Not mentioning any names here...
Want some fruit salad with that?
Some of the guests knew not to combine beer and mixed drinks at the party...
Party girl and her Lite Beer...
And of course, drinking with Dan & his Minions wouldn't be the same without a rousing game of Asshole.
For the record...
I did not fall over in my chair.
I did not walk through the domicile in my underwear.
I did not swim in the ocean or the pool at 2 AM.
I did not throw up on anyone or anything.
I did not drive, hell I didn't even putt.
And...
I did not have anyone's cell phone in my pocket while being thrown in the pool.
I did however, help clean up the next morning...
Hey...
Who the hell brought Zima to the party?
(I thought JR was going to be out of town?...)
After picking up all the half-empty (yeah- I'm a pessimist) glasses, I emptied them into a bucket... The ensuing party gravy was pretty nasty.
We put it in bottles... They're serving it at the next Asshole session.
I will NOT be there. (I hope.)
TBG (drying) out-
A good time was had by all...
Some people had a better time than others. Not mentioning any names here...
Want some fruit salad with that?
Some of the guests knew not to combine beer and mixed drinks at the party...
Party girl and her Lite Beer...
And of course, drinking with Dan & his Minions wouldn't be the same without a rousing game of Asshole.
For the record...
I did not fall over in my chair.
I did not walk through the domicile in my underwear.
I did not swim in the ocean or the pool at 2 AM.
I did not throw up on anyone or anything.
I did not drive, hell I didn't even putt.
And...
I did not have anyone's cell phone in my pocket while being thrown in the pool.
I did however, help clean up the next morning...
Hey...
Who the hell brought Zima to the party?
(I thought JR was going to be out of town?...)
After picking up all the half-empty (yeah- I'm a pessimist) glasses, I emptied them into a bucket... The ensuing party gravy was pretty nasty.
We put it in bottles... They're serving it at the next Asshole session.
I will NOT be there. (I hope.)
TBG (drying) out-
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Saucy Shrimp
I had a jones for shrimp on Friday, so Saturday the Perfect Child and I headed out to Safe Harbor (the seafood purveyor of whom I have sung praises before...) to get some scrimps to cook up for dinner.
5 lbs of jumbo shrimp later, I was back at the Humble Abode and digging through the spice rack and dry storage to see what was available to work with...
I got out several cookbooks, including one from Uglesich's and made notes on several recipes and after a quick trip to Publix I set to work. At the risk of sounding full of myself, the results werefamous amazing astounding beyond compare pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.
For your gastronomic pleasure, I present to you, lucky reader,
Saucy Shrimp...
(serves 4, or 2 if one of the 2 is an ogre)
Hardware:
10" saute pan
6-quart soup pot
Shallow bowls for serving
Ingredients:
1/2 small onion
2 celery ribs
5 garlic cloves
1/2 stick of butter
2T bacon grease.
(What? You don't save your old bacon grease after frying bacon on Saturday morning? For shame. Tsk tsk tsk. Use another 1/2 stick of butter.
2T rosemary
2t thyme
1T fennel
1T cumin
2t celery seed
2 tsp black pepper
1 Qt chicken broth
8 oz bottle clam juice
2T Crystal Hot Sauce or Texas Pete
Juice of 1 lemon
1 6oz can of tomato paste
1 bottle (12oz.) Red Stripe beer.
3 to 4 lbs of prepared* shrimp.
2 loaves Cuban bread or baguettes.
Optional: white rice
*A note on Shrimp.
There are 3 schools of thought on preparing and serving shrimp.
1. International Method
Buy whole head-on shrimp, cook & serve them intact, so their beady little eyes are watching you as you shell and eat them. Big in Europe and in Asia.
2. Lazy American Method
Buy headed shrimp, leaving tail shells intact, or just cutting the shell a bit to remove the sand vein, but leaving the bulk of the shell in place.
Some people will make the case that this method makes the shrimp more tender and keeps more of the flavoring of the cooking spices close to the meat of the shrimp.
I've tried it and I'm calling bullshit on this theory. When you peel them, the spices come off with the shell.
3. Uncle Jay's Method
Buy head-on jumbo shrimp. (They are bigger, fresher and cheaper than their prepared counterparts.)
Head, peel and de-vein shrimp while listening to Jimmy Buffett's "A1A" album.
Before the last strains of "Nautical Wheelers" are heard, you will be finished with 3 or 4 lbs of shrimp.
I peel them completely for 2 reasons... 1) because I don't overcook them, and 2) that way my dinner guests can concentrate on enjoying the food, rather than peeling their meals and dealing with shrimp shells and legs, and messy hands...
Do it however works for you...
Ready?... Here we go.
Slice and dice the onion and celery, peel and mince the garlic.
Melt the butter and bacon grease in the saute pan, and fry the onion, celery and garlic until soft. Don't brown the ingredients...just fry until soft and translucent.
(Hey! No salt yet! That's later.)
While the veggies are frying, it's time to work with the spices.
You can use fresh or dried spices, depending on what you have on-hand in your larder.
I had no fresh spices...not even a sprig of rosemary...so all mine were out of rack...
If you have fresh, so much the better for you.
If your using fresh you want to do a little cut and crush to release the oils in the herbs. For any dry spices you are using, you'll want to chop/crush them, or take them for a spin in a spice grinder, if you use one of those things.
I have a mortar and pestle for just such an occasion. Heh.
So.. Have at it... cut, crush, chop and/or grind away...
Once you have prepared your spices, and your veggies are nice and soft, reduce the heat under the saute pan and add your spices. Stir to combine. Cover the pan and head to the next step.
Get all your liquids ready to use, open all containers and bottles. Put your soup pot on the stove.
Set your burner to med-high heat and transfer the veggies from the saute pan to the 6-quart pot. Add the chicken stock, the clam juice, Red Stripe beer, hot sauce, lemon juice, and the tomato paste. Bring to a boil, the reduce heat to just above a simmer (slow boil) for 1 hour, uncovered.
After 1 hour, test for flavor and texture. Now will be the time to add salt, more garlic or garlic powder, or any other spices you like.
(Nota Bene: You will notice there is no mention of cooking shrimp up to this point. Just want to make that clear.)
Serving / Presentation.
I really hate it when some people make a shrimp dish and insist on cooking the crap out of the shrimp, making them hard, bad-tasting shrimp nuggets.
If you drop your shrimp in a pot of, say, file gumbo, and boil it for 20 or 30 minutes, the shrimp will cease to taste like shrimp and will taste like, well, not good.
Shrimp only need a few minutes of cooking to make them tasty and flavorful and wonderful.
For this particular recipe, do it my way... It's a lot of work, but worth it.
Heat your saute pan over med-hi to hi heat.
Using a soup ladle, put 2 ladles of the broth in your hot saute pan. As soon as it starts to bubble (almost immediately) add a handful (8-10) of raw, peeled, de-veined shrimp.
Let them cook for 30 seconds, then turn them over and let them cook for another 30 or so seconds...
Give them a swirl or two, and maybe pan-flip them a time or two if your are able to do that kind of thing without slpattering the entire stove with sauce. The shrimp should be over the heat for 90 seconds to 2 minutes tops. They will continue to cook in the sauce for a minute or two more after plating, and will be completely and perfectly cooked if you follow the directions correctly.
Transfer the shrimp and pan sauce to a shallow bowl and serve with crusty bread for sopping up the sauce to one of your lucky dinner guests.
Repeat for each guest.
Cook only as needed to serve each guest. Be prepared to saute more sauce and shrimp as needed for seconds and thirds.
As an alternative, serve over rice.
Have some Texas Pete or Crystal hot sauce on the table for individual taste.
Addendum:
Leftover sauce: Put it in a jar- keeps in the fridge for 2 weeks.
For saucy crawfish - Use a bigger pot, add another beer and another quart of stock, 2 T of cayenne, 2T of
hot sauce, and 1t of black peppercorns.After broth simmers for 1 hour, increase heat to low boil, add 4 lbs whole crawfish to the full pot of broth.
After 20 minutes, ladle sauce & crawfish into bowls and serve. Have lots of bread on hand for sopping up sauce.
Enjoy.
TBG out-
5 lbs of jumbo shrimp later, I was back at the Humble Abode and digging through the spice rack and dry storage to see what was available to work with...
I got out several cookbooks, including one from Uglesich's and made notes on several recipes and after a quick trip to Publix I set to work. At the risk of sounding full of myself, the results were
For your gastronomic pleasure, I present to you, lucky reader,
Saucy Shrimp...
(serves 4, or 2 if one of the 2 is an ogre)
Hardware:
10" saute pan
6-quart soup pot
Shallow bowls for serving
Ingredients:
1/2 small onion
2 celery ribs
5 garlic cloves
1/2 stick of butter
2T bacon grease.
(What? You don't save your old bacon grease after frying bacon on Saturday morning? For shame. Tsk tsk tsk. Use another 1/2 stick of butter.
2T rosemary
2t thyme
1T fennel
1T cumin
2t celery seed
2 tsp black pepper
1 Qt chicken broth
8 oz bottle clam juice
2T Crystal Hot Sauce or Texas Pete
Juice of 1 lemon
1 6oz can of tomato paste
1 bottle (12oz.) Red Stripe beer.
3 to 4 lbs of prepared* shrimp.
2 loaves Cuban bread or baguettes.
Optional: white rice
*A note on Shrimp.
There are 3 schools of thought on preparing and serving shrimp.
1. International Method
Buy whole head-on shrimp, cook & serve them intact, so their beady little eyes are watching you as you shell and eat them. Big in Europe and in Asia.
2. Lazy American Method
Buy headed shrimp, leaving tail shells intact, or just cutting the shell a bit to remove the sand vein, but leaving the bulk of the shell in place.
Some people will make the case that this method makes the shrimp more tender and keeps more of the flavoring of the cooking spices close to the meat of the shrimp.
I've tried it and I'm calling bullshit on this theory. When you peel them, the spices come off with the shell.
3. Uncle Jay's Method
Buy head-on jumbo shrimp. (They are bigger, fresher and cheaper than their prepared counterparts.)
Head, peel and de-vein shrimp while listening to Jimmy Buffett's "A1A" album.
Before the last strains of "Nautical Wheelers" are heard, you will be finished with 3 or 4 lbs of shrimp.
I peel them completely for 2 reasons... 1) because I don't overcook them, and 2) that way my dinner guests can concentrate on enjoying the food, rather than peeling their meals and dealing with shrimp shells and legs, and messy hands...
Do it however works for you...
Ready?... Here we go.
Slice and dice the onion and celery, peel and mince the garlic.
Melt the butter and bacon grease in the saute pan, and fry the onion, celery and garlic until soft. Don't brown the ingredients...just fry until soft and translucent.
(Hey! No salt yet! That's later.)
While the veggies are frying, it's time to work with the spices.
You can use fresh or dried spices, depending on what you have on-hand in your larder.
I had no fresh spices...not even a sprig of rosemary...so all mine were out of rack...
If you have fresh, so much the better for you.
If your using fresh you want to do a little cut and crush to release the oils in the herbs. For any dry spices you are using, you'll want to chop/crush them, or take them for a spin in a spice grinder, if you use one of those things.
I have a mortar and pestle for just such an occasion. Heh.
So.. Have at it... cut, crush, chop and/or grind away...
Once you have prepared your spices, and your veggies are nice and soft, reduce the heat under the saute pan and add your spices. Stir to combine. Cover the pan and head to the next step.
Get all your liquids ready to use, open all containers and bottles. Put your soup pot on the stove.
Set your burner to med-high heat and transfer the veggies from the saute pan to the 6-quart pot. Add the chicken stock, the clam juice, Red Stripe beer, hot sauce, lemon juice, and the tomato paste. Bring to a boil, the reduce heat to just above a simmer (slow boil) for 1 hour, uncovered.
After 1 hour, test for flavor and texture. Now will be the time to add salt, more garlic or garlic powder, or any other spices you like.
(Nota Bene: You will notice there is no mention of cooking shrimp up to this point. Just want to make that clear.)
Serving / Presentation.
I really hate it when some people make a shrimp dish and insist on cooking the crap out of the shrimp, making them hard, bad-tasting shrimp nuggets.
If you drop your shrimp in a pot of, say, file gumbo, and boil it for 20 or 30 minutes, the shrimp will cease to taste like shrimp and will taste like, well, not good.
Shrimp only need a few minutes of cooking to make them tasty and flavorful and wonderful.
For this particular recipe, do it my way... It's a lot of work, but worth it.
Heat your saute pan over med-hi to hi heat.
Using a soup ladle, put 2 ladles of the broth in your hot saute pan. As soon as it starts to bubble (almost immediately) add a handful (8-10) of raw, peeled, de-veined shrimp.
Let them cook for 30 seconds, then turn them over and let them cook for another 30 or so seconds...
Give them a swirl or two, and maybe pan-flip them a time or two if your are able to do that kind of thing without slpattering the entire stove with sauce. The shrimp should be over the heat for 90 seconds to 2 minutes tops. They will continue to cook in the sauce for a minute or two more after plating, and will be completely and perfectly cooked if you follow the directions correctly.
Transfer the shrimp and pan sauce to a shallow bowl and serve with crusty bread for sopping up the sauce to one of your lucky dinner guests.
Repeat for each guest.
Cook only as needed to serve each guest. Be prepared to saute more sauce and shrimp as needed for seconds and thirds.
As an alternative, serve over rice.
Have some Texas Pete or Crystal hot sauce on the table for individual taste.
Addendum:
Leftover sauce: Put it in a jar- keeps in the fridge for 2 weeks.
For saucy crawfish - Use a bigger pot, add another beer and another quart of stock, 2 T of cayenne, 2T of
hot sauce, and 1t of black peppercorns.After broth simmers for 1 hour, increase heat to low boil, add 4 lbs whole crawfish to the full pot of broth.
After 20 minutes, ladle sauce & crawfish into bowls and serve. Have lots of bread on hand for sopping up sauce.
Enjoy.
TBG out-
Saturday, March 17, 2007
St Patrick's Day...
I'm in lovely Toronto tonite... in an area of town called Markham... there's only one Irish bar within a 8 mile radius...but I did want to indulge in the holiday...
What's your drink?
There are many, many Irish whiskeys...
My particular favorite is Bushmills, (Black, if I can find it) in an Irish coffee... I'm not a stright whiskey or scotch drinker. But if you are, more power to ya.
So... Blended whiskeys:
* Avoca
* Baileys Irish Whiskey
* Ballygeary
* Brennans
* Bushmills White
* Bushmills Black
* Bushmills 1608
* Cassidy's
* Coleraine
* Clontarf
* Crested Ten
* Dunphys
* Erin's Isle
* Feckin Irish Whiskey
* Golden Irish
* Grace
* Hewitts
* Inishowen
* Jameson Irish Whiskey
* Jameson 12 Year Old
* Jameson Distillery Reserve
* Jameson Gold
* Kilbeggan
* Locke's
* Michael Collins Blend
* Midleton Very Rare
* Millars
* Murphy's
* Old Kilkenny
* O'Briens
* O'Neills
* Old Dublin
* Paddy
* Powers Gold Label
* Red Breast Blend
* Strangford Gold
* Tullamore Dew
* Wild Geese
Then we have single malts...
(They are still whiskeys, don't call it scotch... you'll get hit by a shillelagh.)
* Brogan's Legacy Irish Single Malt
* A Drop of the Irish
* Bushmills Ten Year Old
* Bushmills Sixteen Year Old
* Cadenhead's Peated Single Malt
* Clonmel Single Malt
* Connemara
* Erin Go Bragh
* Knappogue Castle
* Locke's Single Malt
* Merrys Single Malt
* Michael Collins Single Malt
* Preston Millenium Malt
* Shanahans
* Shannon Grain Single Malt
* Slaney Malt
* Suir Peated Malt
* Tyrconnell
Now, if you are like me and you really don't want the Irish whiskey, you might go for a Guinness...
Or even better-
A Black & Tan.
A black and tan is equal parts stout (Guinness or otherwise) and lighter colored ale, often a Bass Pale Ale or Harp's lager. Many an Irish barman will tell you that a layered black and tan is simply a Yank affectation and that in the homeland the two beers are simply poured together.
Also, you could indulge in the following...
A Black Velvet combines equal parts of champagne and stout.
a Poor Man's Black Velvet- substitute cider for champagne. Also called a Snakebite in the States. And it'd probably be followed up by a mondo hangover.
Take a pint of Guinness and drop a shot of Chambord into it and you have a Black Fog.
(This is really good!)
And the beerwench suggested a Purple Meany to me tonite...a black and tan with a shot of raspberry liqueur.
Another recipe would be Black Death... Stout and any Trappist Ale... But you know my affinity for Chimay, so I don't think I'd be able pull this one off...
From my travels in 1998 in Salt Lake City, our breakfast beverage- the Red Eye: Add a shot of tomato juice to any ale or lager, also known as Tomato Beer or a Red Rooster. If you add a splash of Tabasco, the drink becomes a Ruddy Mary.
From John Carbono in the Fox & Fiddle tonite- the Bee Sting: Dark beer and orange juice.
(Yuck!)
The Shandygaff (or a Shandy)- Beer and Ginger Beer or Ginger Ale (or Limeade according to Jenny, Beermaid at Fox & Fiddle.)
A scary combination, the Jamaican Night: Beer and an ounce of Kalua.
Another one in the dessert category...the Dark and Smooth. A stout mixed with port. One to finish the evening with.
In truth, I should have made this post earlier in the week so you could be prepared for tonite's festivities...
So... What's your poison?
What's your drink?
There are many, many Irish whiskeys...
My particular favorite is Bushmills, (Black, if I can find it) in an Irish coffee... I'm not a stright whiskey or scotch drinker. But if you are, more power to ya.
So... Blended whiskeys:
* Avoca
* Baileys Irish Whiskey
* Ballygeary
* Brennans
* Bushmills White
* Bushmills Black
* Bushmills 1608
* Cassidy's
* Coleraine
* Clontarf
* Crested Ten
* Dunphys
* Erin's Isle
* Feckin Irish Whiskey
* Golden Irish
* Grace
* Hewitts
* Inishowen
* Jameson Irish Whiskey
* Jameson 12 Year Old
* Jameson Distillery Reserve
* Jameson Gold
* Kilbeggan
* Locke's
* Michael Collins Blend
* Midleton Very Rare
* Millars
* Murphy's
* Old Kilkenny
* O'Briens
* O'Neills
* Old Dublin
* Paddy
* Powers Gold Label
* Red Breast Blend
* Strangford Gold
* Tullamore Dew
* Wild Geese
Then we have single malts...
(They are still whiskeys, don't call it scotch... you'll get hit by a shillelagh.)
* Brogan's Legacy Irish Single Malt
* A Drop of the Irish
* Bushmills Ten Year Old
* Bushmills Sixteen Year Old
* Cadenhead's Peated Single Malt
* Clonmel Single Malt
* Connemara
* Erin Go Bragh
* Knappogue Castle
* Locke's Single Malt
* Merrys Single Malt
* Michael Collins Single Malt
* Preston Millenium Malt
* Shanahans
* Shannon Grain Single Malt
* Slaney Malt
* Suir Peated Malt
* Tyrconnell
Now, if you are like me and you really don't want the Irish whiskey, you might go for a Guinness...
Or even better-
A Black & Tan.
A black and tan is equal parts stout (Guinness or otherwise) and lighter colored ale, often a Bass Pale Ale or Harp's lager. Many an Irish barman will tell you that a layered black and tan is simply a Yank affectation and that in the homeland the two beers are simply poured together.
Also, you could indulge in the following...
A Black Velvet combines equal parts of champagne and stout.
a Poor Man's Black Velvet- substitute cider for champagne. Also called a Snakebite in the States. And it'd probably be followed up by a mondo hangover.
Take a pint of Guinness and drop a shot of Chambord into it and you have a Black Fog.
(This is really good!)
And the beerwench suggested a Purple Meany to me tonite...a black and tan with a shot of raspberry liqueur.
Another recipe would be Black Death... Stout and any Trappist Ale... But you know my affinity for Chimay, so I don't think I'd be able pull this one off...
From my travels in 1998 in Salt Lake City, our breakfast beverage- the Red Eye: Add a shot of tomato juice to any ale or lager, also known as Tomato Beer or a Red Rooster. If you add a splash of Tabasco, the drink becomes a Ruddy Mary.
From John Carbono in the Fox & Fiddle tonite- the Bee Sting: Dark beer and orange juice.
(Yuck!)
The Shandygaff (or a Shandy)- Beer and Ginger Beer or Ginger Ale (or Limeade according to Jenny, Beermaid at Fox & Fiddle.)
A scary combination, the Jamaican Night: Beer and an ounce of Kalua.
Another one in the dessert category...the Dark and Smooth. A stout mixed with port. One to finish the evening with.
In truth, I should have made this post earlier in the week so you could be prepared for tonite's festivities...
So... What's your poison?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Mmmmmarmite!
Do you love it or hate it?
If you love it, this newest (and limited production) variation is a must try...
If you hate it, well... go take your dolly and go play somewhere else, loser.
(I know, it smells like a skidmark in a jar... Tastes better, though. I promise.)
Marmite, Vegemite and Parwill are definitely an acquired taste. I bacame accustomed to it back in 2001 while in Brisbane and every once in a while I will indulge my tastebuds...
Over at Marmite.com they have some interesting variations on the old standby of Marmite on toast... Check it out.
TBG out-
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Oh dear... Not again.
I got an e-mail from my friend Trep...
"Hey man, I'm passing through your area on Sunday- Lets do dinner or something."
Well, haven't seen Trep in over a year because of disparities in our travel and work schedules. I missed seeing him by one day back in July; He was sliding into home as I was on the seaplane heading out, and prior to that is was like... July of 2005?
So aside from buying pornographic action figures and WWF memorabilia for him and leaving them in his quarters (where I stayed while he was TDY elsewhere) we've been chatting via e-mail.
Little Red Riding Hood?
So, when the opportunity to sit and shoot (heh) the breeze for a while arises, the occasion is not to be wasted.
After a few phone calls and some minor planning, Sunday afternoon found us in a local (Jacksonville) sports bar, telling war stories and catching up on the Coconut Telegraph- island news, gossip on our friends and those not-so-friendsome, discussions of ballistics and edged-weapon offensive techniques...you know, fun stuff.
As we were drinking with the Captain, (and you know the Captain always urges one to "Drink Responsibly, Captain's Orders! wink wink") things were deteriorating rapidly...
Is there a little Captain in you?
Conversation went from a discussion of small arms and bladed weapons to takedown techniques and demonstrations (aided by a oh-so-willing waitress in a cheerleader outfit), to an impromptu display of WWF wrestling moves, including one particularly impressive coreography involving two pool cues, an orange traffic cone, a dozen Buffalo wings and a garden hose, performed barefoot and wearing a waitress's thong panties as an eyepatch that was a real crowd favorite.
For such a big guy, Trep is suprisingly graceful...
...And not unlike last week in Germany, where a couple of us fell into a lens grinding machine in the eyeglass factory, we were making a specatcle of ourselves at the bar.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, (and how many times have I said that whilst sitting in a holding cell or in front of a judge?!) that we should endeavor to test the first-responder time for the Jacksonville Sheriffs Office...
Good idea? Yeah...No, not so much.
And try as we might, all efforts at getting a call into the JSO were naught... Trep did a body shot of tequila off a somewhat recalcitrant waitress...
(Initially she was very indignant, but it seemed like her sense of injured decorum was a bit feigned, since she later clandestinely passed Trep her phone number scribbled on a napkin...)
Wanting to go him one better, I pulled the infamous "Double Offensive": I picked out a couple that was watching the Houston game, a guy almost big as I am with a huge walrus moustache that looked he might have played for the Houston Texans at one time; Ms. Moustache was, let's say, overly well endowed, and I'll have to give her credit- at least all of her (exposed) tattoos were spelled correctly...
"Hey Moustache!... Hold my drink while I do a shot out of your daughter's cleavage." I said, handing off my beverage to the amazed ex-linebacker. Trep watched for the bartender to make a move for the phone or the Moustache to pull out a weapon.
Alas, it was not to be... The bartender poured a double shot of Dirty Sanchez tequila and Ms. Moustache willingly, nay, eagerly nestled the shot glass in her decolletage. (For the benefit of our Constant Readers in North Florida, that'd be between her boobs.)
In a series of graceless movements, I snorted a line of salt up one nostril, squeezed the juice of a half a lime into my left eye and slurped the tequila, most of it soaking my beard and moustache and Ms. Moustache's tank top.
Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect of a barroom brawl and/or a visit from Jacksonville's Finest. The Moustache cheered the effort then ordered another round of tequila for everyone in earshot in celebration (of what, I have no idea), and one of the Moustache's compatriots prattled off unintelligibly for a few moments, waving a cocktail napkin in one hand and a empty martini glass in the other, gesturing at Ms. Moustache and then me...
As he finished I got the impression we were either married, divorced, or we had been ordained clergy in Great Greasy Gonads Church and Pediatric Hospital...
I never found out exactly what kind of degree had been conferred, as the Bishop quickly passed out and slipped into a coma.
Trep looked at me through eyes so bloodshot they looked like two baseballs made from lean bacon...
"Lissen, Big Guy... Nex time the Saints score a touchdown" he said, indicating the screen behind the bar "I'm going to pull one of my signature show stoppers- if this doesn't rate a call to 911, nothing does."
As the score changed on the screen in the NOLA/Philly game, Trep up-ended his drink, then reached over the bar and took the bottle of Captian Morgan out of the well, splashed a little in his hand then dabbed the alcohol behind each ear, like he was using Eau de Ruhm...
"Here goes nothin'..."
I stepped back from the bar, knowing it wasn't going to be pretty- The bartender was finally dialing the phone.
Trep stood atop the bar in a lime green speedo and a t-shirt reading "Baaaaa means Noooo!", a Cuban cigar in one hand, the bottle of Captain Morgan in the other annointing the crowd; he was reciting "Beowulf", in old English of course, as he urinated on the collective heads of the Moustache and his compadres... Trep was juggling 3 billiard balls as he finished singing the last stanza of the Saga; On the closing notes, he sailed the balls over his shoulder into the mirror on the bar-back, shattering the glass...
The crowd, including the management and the wait staff cheered and requested an encore.
(With one waiter exhorting him to "Take it off, take it ALL off, Big Boy!")
The bartender was not calling 911... He was just ordering up another case of Captain Morgan from the bar manager.
He could tell it was going to be along night...
The cops were never called... We finally threw in the towel and sat back to finish watching the game and waited several hours for the alcohol to wear off before we headed to our respective vehicles; Me with a purloined bottle of Grey Goose in my shorts, Trep with a waitress under each arm.... Bastard.
Another wasted evening in North Florida.
Famous, out-
"Hey man, I'm passing through your area on Sunday- Lets do dinner or something."
Well, haven't seen Trep in over a year because of disparities in our travel and work schedules. I missed seeing him by one day back in July; He was sliding into home as I was on the seaplane heading out, and prior to that is was like... July of 2005?
So aside from buying pornographic action figures and WWF memorabilia for him and leaving them in his quarters (where I stayed while he was TDY elsewhere) we've been chatting via e-mail.
Little Red Riding Hood?
So, when the opportunity to sit and shoot (heh) the breeze for a while arises, the occasion is not to be wasted.
After a few phone calls and some minor planning, Sunday afternoon found us in a local (Jacksonville) sports bar, telling war stories and catching up on the Coconut Telegraph- island news, gossip on our friends and those not-so-friendsome, discussions of ballistics and edged-weapon offensive techniques...you know, fun stuff.
As we were drinking with the Captain, (and you know the Captain always urges one to "Drink Responsibly, Captain's Orders! wink wink") things were deteriorating rapidly...
Is there a little Captain in you?
Conversation went from a discussion of small arms and bladed weapons to takedown techniques and demonstrations (aided by a oh-so-willing waitress in a cheerleader outfit), to an impromptu display of WWF wrestling moves, including one particularly impressive coreography involving two pool cues, an orange traffic cone, a dozen Buffalo wings and a garden hose, performed barefoot and wearing a waitress's thong panties as an eyepatch that was a real crowd favorite.
For such a big guy, Trep is suprisingly graceful...
...And not unlike last week in Germany, where a couple of us fell into a lens grinding machine in the eyeglass factory, we were making a specatcle of ourselves at the bar.
It seemed like a good idea at the time, (and how many times have I said that whilst sitting in a holding cell or in front of a judge?!) that we should endeavor to test the first-responder time for the Jacksonville Sheriffs Office...
Good idea? Yeah...No, not so much.
And try as we might, all efforts at getting a call into the JSO were naught... Trep did a body shot of tequila off a somewhat recalcitrant waitress...
(Initially she was very indignant, but it seemed like her sense of injured decorum was a bit feigned, since she later clandestinely passed Trep her phone number scribbled on a napkin...)
Wanting to go him one better, I pulled the infamous "Double Offensive": I picked out a couple that was watching the Houston game, a guy almost big as I am with a huge walrus moustache that looked he might have played for the Houston Texans at one time; Ms. Moustache was, let's say, overly well endowed, and I'll have to give her credit- at least all of her (exposed) tattoos were spelled correctly...
"Hey Moustache!... Hold my drink while I do a shot out of your daughter's cleavage." I said, handing off my beverage to the amazed ex-linebacker. Trep watched for the bartender to make a move for the phone or the Moustache to pull out a weapon.
Alas, it was not to be... The bartender poured a double shot of Dirty Sanchez tequila and Ms. Moustache willingly, nay, eagerly nestled the shot glass in her decolletage. (For the benefit of our Constant Readers in North Florida, that'd be between her boobs.)
In a series of graceless movements, I snorted a line of salt up one nostril, squeezed the juice of a half a lime into my left eye and slurped the tequila, most of it soaking my beard and moustache and Ms. Moustache's tank top.
Unfortunately, it did not have the desired effect of a barroom brawl and/or a visit from Jacksonville's Finest. The Moustache cheered the effort then ordered another round of tequila for everyone in earshot in celebration (of what, I have no idea), and one of the Moustache's compatriots prattled off unintelligibly for a few moments, waving a cocktail napkin in one hand and a empty martini glass in the other, gesturing at Ms. Moustache and then me...
As he finished I got the impression we were either married, divorced, or we had been ordained clergy in Great Greasy Gonads Church and Pediatric Hospital...
I never found out exactly what kind of degree had been conferred, as the Bishop quickly passed out and slipped into a coma.
Trep looked at me through eyes so bloodshot they looked like two baseballs made from lean bacon...
"Lissen, Big Guy... Nex time the Saints score a touchdown" he said, indicating the screen behind the bar "I'm going to pull one of my signature show stoppers- if this doesn't rate a call to 911, nothing does."
As the score changed on the screen in the NOLA/Philly game, Trep up-ended his drink, then reached over the bar and took the bottle of Captian Morgan out of the well, splashed a little in his hand then dabbed the alcohol behind each ear, like he was using Eau de Ruhm...
"Here goes nothin'..."
I stepped back from the bar, knowing it wasn't going to be pretty- The bartender was finally dialing the phone.
Trep stood atop the bar in a lime green speedo and a t-shirt reading "Baaaaa means Noooo!", a Cuban cigar in one hand, the bottle of Captain Morgan in the other annointing the crowd; he was reciting "Beowulf", in old English of course, as he urinated on the collective heads of the Moustache and his compadres... Trep was juggling 3 billiard balls as he finished singing the last stanza of the Saga; On the closing notes, he sailed the balls over his shoulder into the mirror on the bar-back, shattering the glass...
The crowd, including the management and the wait staff cheered and requested an encore.
(With one waiter exhorting him to "Take it off, take it ALL off, Big Boy!")
The bartender was not calling 911... He was just ordering up another case of Captain Morgan from the bar manager.
He could tell it was going to be along night...
The cops were never called... We finally threw in the towel and sat back to finish watching the game and waited several hours for the alcohol to wear off before we headed to our respective vehicles; Me with a purloined bottle of Grey Goose in my shorts, Trep with a waitress under each arm.... Bastard.
Another wasted evening in North Florida.
Famous, out-
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Köln, It's a wrap...or is it a wurst?
It was the best of wursts, it was the worst of wursts;
...and if I don't see another bratwurst for 6 months or so I wouldn't be disappointed.
Brats were everywhere...
Yes, dinner in Köln is vaguely obscene...
Man, the brats are everywhere...
Jeff "Phoneman" Tyler: "Leave me alone when I'm cuttin' my brat..."
Yes, everyone loves the wurst...
So... What did I have on a wurst-filled evening?
Pickled Herring...(I'm a sucker for marinated fish. Go figure.)
Sorry, no pic. It's even more suggestive than the brats...
And one last picture from the evening:
SchweinRider
Let's see... Elsewhere at Eurogames Live...
Scott Berman and David Munoz (keeper of the Evil Minions) and Kaiser Wilheim hard at work during Game 3.
All good things have to end eventually...
Breakdown was uneventful and after one more (very tame) evening in Köln, I made it back to Jax safe and sound. One german taxi ride, 2 flights and a quick trip down 9A and I was home.
Köln by the numbers:
1.5 - Price, in Euros, for a glass of beer just about everywhere in Köln.
2 - Triple shots of Bacardi 8 that I consumed in the hotel bar, after drinking 15 or 20 beers at some other random beergarden
4 - NBA games played in Köln
7 - Great people to work with: David, Jeff, Michael, James, Andrea, Ariana, and Brett
8 - Bulkhead row on a 757-200, which I shared with two of the most flamboyantly gay guys I have ever seen, let alone sat next to for 8 hours. There was so much lisping going on it sounded like steam escaping.
17 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags in Köln
19 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags re-checked for Jacksonville in Newark
44 - Number of beers consumed by James Stawecki, Jeff Tyler & Yours Truly in one sitting
49 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to get my bags in Jacksonville
107 - Network connections that David and his guys set up in the Kölnarena
240 - Volts, normal A/C wall current in Germany. Which is 20 more volts than a Dell desktop server can survive before the power supply blows up
1,265 - Credentials, most of which were created on one laptop after the server blew up and David, Michael & Andrea pulled an all-nighter to fix & play catch-up.
Really great lines from Köln:
What's that burning smell?
Früh? What the hell is a früh?
We need more beers... Bring us 12 more beers please.
Two color lasers, two laptops, two cameras, a Dell server and an ethernet switch. Yeah... No. Too many amps for this circuit.
Hi Dick... Dick, are you there?
They have specific player IDs for us to use? Were they planning on sending them to us sometime before the end of the 4th game?
For such a big man, you drink like a little girl...
All right... one more round of beers... Bring us ten more beers please.
So... NBA Eurogames Live is over for 2006...
One final pic from Köln
The Dom by night
Famous, out-
...and if I don't see another bratwurst for 6 months or so I wouldn't be disappointed.
Brats were everywhere...
Yes, dinner in Köln is vaguely obscene...
Man, the brats are everywhere...
Jeff "Phoneman" Tyler: "Leave me alone when I'm cuttin' my brat..."
Yes, everyone loves the wurst...
So... What did I have on a wurst-filled evening?
Pickled Herring...(I'm a sucker for marinated fish. Go figure.)
Sorry, no pic. It's even more suggestive than the brats...
And one last picture from the evening:
SchweinRider
Let's see... Elsewhere at Eurogames Live...
Scott Berman and David Munoz (keeper of the Evil Minions) and Kaiser Wilheim hard at work during Game 3.
All good things have to end eventually...
Breakdown was uneventful and after one more (very tame) evening in Köln, I made it back to Jax safe and sound. One german taxi ride, 2 flights and a quick trip down 9A and I was home.
Köln by the numbers:
1.5 - Price, in Euros, for a glass of beer just about everywhere in Köln.
2 - Triple shots of Bacardi 8 that I consumed in the hotel bar, after drinking 15 or 20 beers at some other random beergarden
4 - NBA games played in Köln
7 - Great people to work with: David, Jeff, Michael, James, Andrea, Ariana, and Brett
8 - Bulkhead row on a 757-200, which I shared with two of the most flamboyantly gay guys I have ever seen, let alone sat next to for 8 hours. There was so much lisping going on it sounded like steam escaping.
17 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags in Köln
19 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to make it through immigration and get my bags re-checked for Jacksonville in Newark
44 - Number of beers consumed by James Stawecki, Jeff Tyler & Yours Truly in one sitting
49 - Minutes, from the time I got off the plane to get my bags in Jacksonville
107 - Network connections that David and his guys set up in the Kölnarena
240 - Volts, normal A/C wall current in Germany. Which is 20 more volts than a Dell desktop server can survive before the power supply blows up
1,265 - Credentials, most of which were created on one laptop after the server blew up and David, Michael & Andrea pulled an all-nighter to fix & play catch-up.
Really great lines from Köln:
What's that burning smell?
Früh? What the hell is a früh?
We need more beers... Bring us 12 more beers please.
Two color lasers, two laptops, two cameras, a Dell server and an ethernet switch. Yeah... No. Too many amps for this circuit.
Hi Dick... Dick, are you there?
They have specific player IDs for us to use? Were they planning on sending them to us sometime before the end of the 4th game?
For such a big man, you drink like a little girl...
All right... one more round of beers... Bring us ten more beers please.
So... NBA Eurogames Live is over for 2006...
One final pic from Köln
The Dom by night
Famous, out-
Saturday, November 19, 2005
No, it hasn't come down yet...
...and I'm hoping it won't.
Let's see, what else is going on...
Well. We're all pretty exhausted...
It's all we can do to stay awake.
(And for some of us, well, let's just say it's not worth the effort to stay up.)
Polly and the guys from SMG had a hard night, apparently. Enough said.
What else?
I've been looking at the court so long I'm beginning to see subliminal messages...
For instance...
If you look closly at this image, you will see a subliminal association I'm starting to get when I see a Heineken beer..
Boy. Talk about ruining a good thing...
TBG out-
Let's see, what else is going on...
Well. We're all pretty exhausted...
It's all we can do to stay awake.
(And for some of us, well, let's just say it's not worth the effort to stay up.)
Polly and the guys from SMG had a hard night, apparently. Enough said.
What else?
I've been looking at the court so long I'm beginning to see subliminal messages...
For instance...
If you look closly at this image, you will see a subliminal association I'm starting to get when I see a Heineken beer..
Boy. Talk about ruining a good thing...
TBG out-
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