Late-Night Houston Hooters Quote-of-the-Night

After the OKC/HOU game...
(in which the Rockets came back from a 26 point deficit only to lose in the last few seconds of the game- Note to HOU- on those "strategic end-of-game fouls", don't hack the guy with a 98% FT average)
...we hadn't indulged in the pre-game meal down in the press room, so we were a bit peckish.

We tried to go to a place near the hotel with the intriguing name of "Twin Peaks"...
I argued that it was a strip club, and thus the menu options were probably limited.
Blee countered that the place had windows, so it wasn't a topless club.
Hmmm. Ok, let's give it a shot.
We never found out who was correct- it was so crowded we bailed...

We went to Plan B, Pappasitos... They locked the door as we approached.
It could be that it was after 11pm, or it might have been that they saw me facing off with a clueless driver in a parking lot pas de deux...

...So we wound up at Hooters.
(Who didn't see THAT coming?)

Aside from the witty banter, (mostly) innocent flirting, not-so-subtle innuendo, and dirty jokes, the subject of food came up. Kati (our waitress, owner of all-organic free range implants) had spent some time in Spain where she had sampled camel in a market, was questioning Dingo about eating kangaroo... She wondered if any 'roo part was particularly better than another, and how it would compare to camel.

She was the one who opined the winning quote:
"I just want to eat the hump and the pouch."

Uh... Yeah.

TBG, nauseated and titillated at the same time...

Quote of the Day - Houston

Early edition:
(As Yours Truly was attempting to correct a small navigation error)
Dingo: "Give it a try. Surely it won't be the stupidest thing you do today,"

Followed by:
(As YT was trying to escape the Dead End Parking Garage by driving back down the UP ramp 4 floors)
Blee: "Give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?"


TBG
"With friends like these, who needs enemas?"

Just What We Needed...

Rain, Lightning, and the human stupidity that goes along with it.

Houston We Have A Problem...

Wow.

Wotta evening.

I had originally intended to hook up with KX59 and Belle back in February during a visit to the NBA All Star Game in Houston.
Alas, I was tied up with stuff for A Nice Golf Course and never made the trip.

However, arena visits are like city buses for me... There's always another one coming.

I'm on a little visit to a few NBA Arenas (Houston, Brooklyn, Oklahoma City) this week, so I let KX59 know and we set up a meet.
There's a place near my hotel where I know I can get good crawfish (in season) and I suggested it, and he was amenable... We had a bit of a late arrival to IAH (Thanks Sequester!) and busted ass for Southside Freeway and our hotels to freshen up.
We got to Ragin' Cajun only a few minutes later than the proposed meet-up time, by which point KX59 had had 2 beers and already sent me 2 text messages about punctuality and alcohol consumption.

I dragged along Blee and Dingo (who had flown directly from London for this little shindig) and we tucked into some awesome cajun specialities- I had a bucket of crawfish (small, but very tasty!) and a boudin link... Nice!
Other items consumed at our table included Etoufee, Jambalaya, more boudin, and gumbo...
Belle showed me a new way to consume boudin- open it up and spread it on crackers.
Who knew?

Good conversation, lots of fun... Lots of abuse for Belle who confesses to indulging in a different social media platform these days... I promised not to divulge her new passion, but for the right incentive I could be persuaded to share a hint or two.
A good time was had by all- including the Dingo, who was falling asleep in his etoufee.
Poor bastard.

On to the arena...

TBG

Nicely Put

I'm liking the cut of this guy's jib...

Via That Guy at Rock in the Sea of Chaos

"We are told not just Muslims based on the actions of a few...
I suggest we give millions of responsible American gun owners
the same courtesy."

Yeah-
I like that...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Cordless Phones, Luggage & Pressure Cookers Oh My!

...or, "TBG, Please come to the lobby; A nice man from DHS is here to see you."

So... There I was, minding my own business, trying to buy a GSM cell phone for an upcoming gig...


Oh look. $70. Exactly what I need.



Wait... What's that in the side bar?
Pressure cookers!
Holy crap.  I'm outta here... Clear cache, erase cookies.
Man, I wish I had set Firefox to private browsing mode before hitting this site...


Which reminds me... 
Where was I reading that someblogger (Cough!*KX59*Cough!) was looking to buy a pressure cooker?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Dispatches From A Nice Golf Course: "Dock that volunteer a day's pay!"

Tournament Friday, 2:00 pm
Things are going reasonably well.
(In a nutshell, I'm only moderately sick, play is underway and we are a data-generating machine.)

The last group is getting ready to tee off, so in 20 minutes or so we will start breaking down equipment on the First 9.

The phone rings... SGK* gets it.
SGK: "Ball position."
(Pause)
SGK: "Yes... We have volunteers on the 10th green."
(Longer pause)
SGK: "Could be. Let me check."
She puts the phone on hold.
SGK tunes our Live Feed from Hole 16 to Hole 10.
We all look at the feed.



Oh crap. You're killin' me, Whitey.

She picks up the phone-
SGK: "Yep. Hes ours. We'll take care of it."
(Long pause)
SGK: "Yes sir. I understand."
(Long pause)
SGK: "Yessir."
(Long pause.)
SGK: "Yes sir, I'll let him know."
Click.



She picks the mic for her radio.
SGK: "Hole 10 green, come in."
Radio: "10 green, go ahead base."
SGK: "Hole 10, is that you I see, sitting on the grass next to the greenside bunker? INSIDE THE ROPES? IN THE FIELD OF PLAY?!"
The figure stands up, moves out of camera shot.
SGK: "If I get another call from Tournament H.Q. about you, I'm going to move you straight to 11 green, back there with the moccasins and the copperheads.

After the ass-chewing I knew she got from THQ I'm surprised she didn't go out there and beat him to death with his Geodimeter... Or at least stab him with the tripod.

She's starting to get mellow in her old age...

*Other SGK@ANGC content here and here and here...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Good Reads

I've picked up a new entry on my RSS reader.
Erin at Lurking Rythmically has quite a varied range of topics...
My man McThag linked to her post on 2A rights and her takedown of a recent commenter who was dismissive of her rights. She kicked some ass. Completely and eloquently...

She's also heavily entrenched in the RPG activities...
Reading some of her stuff (especially her Traveller discussions) harkened me back to my lost weekends from my high school days where we spent waaaay too much time rolling oddly-shaped dice and arguing damage probabilities, unconventional tactics and good-evil-law-chaos alignment.

Read her stuff on her D&D campaign called Pellatarrum...
She's put a ton of work into it. Great stuff if you have any D&D/RPG background.

She's over on the sidebar now... Go. Read...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Watching Watertown

...hundreds and hundreds of alphabet soup people (ATF, FBI, WFD, BPD, etc) standing around...

All I can think is that every one of the mf'ers is on the clock. Cha-ching!

I'd tell 80% of them to clock out and go home.

Edit: 8:47pm - DEA? FBI Gang Taskforce? Really?
I want a jacket that has "EIEIO" in big reflective letters...

TBG

Daily Comments - 4/17/13

Watching the US Senate live feed from c-span...

One of the many 'blogs in my RSS feed (I think it might have been Robb NoPants) sugested that before you can write legislation on something, you should be a PhD on the topic,  not just be able to spell most of the terms in the nomenclature...

From some of the speeches I've heard today, I'm convinced that most of the US Senate (and probably the US Congress) can't be trusted with a bucket of piss or a burnt-out match.

FTMF

Edit- 2:03PM EDT -
ESPECIALLY Jack Reed (D - Rhode Island)
Deceptive quotes out of context, prevarication, cherry picking his stats, conflagration and outright lies. Double FTMF with a curare-tipped barbed-wire dildo.

Edit - 2:06PM EDT
Oh yeah- One more thing...
"Oh no... This new background check system can never be used as a base for national registry or confiscation."
Right...
Like we can believe ANY-fucking-THING you Washingturd assholes say...
i.e.:
"This legislation will not add one dime to the deficit."
"We will have the most transparent administration in the history of the US"
And my personal favorite:
"The public will have 5 days to review every bill that lands on my desk."
Or any of the several hundred more examples why we cannot put any faith in anything they say.

Last one: 2:55 -
They are going waay out of the way to refer the legislation as "Manchin-Toomey" and avoid mentioning Chucky Schumer... Having him as the primary name on the act would be the death-knell to the bill.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

Yeah-
That 90% figure they are using regarding background checks...
As in the President's tweet:



First- the sampling demographic-

"Polls of voters in Virginia, New Jersey and Pennsylvania in January by the independentQuinnipiac University"

 And how many people?
1,134 in Virgina, 1,647 in New Jersey and 1,221 in Pennsylvania...

Hardly 90% of "all Americans", in my estimation...

Why don't you ask some folks in Florida, Alabama or Texas. You know, the ones that have been to gun shows and know that 95% of sales there ARE background checked, instead of asking dumbass Yankees who wouldn't know a multi-clip magazine if it bit them in the ass.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Double Standard at NBC

You know, one person can fire off a letter/email/telegram complaining about some talking head making a comment that is too conservation or (Heaven forbid) something that promotes Christian values and the network will fire that person so fast all you will hear is the whistle as they fly out the door.
MSLSDNBC will get THOUSANDS of complaints about Chris Mathews for his immediately linking the Boston Marathon bombing to right-wing extremist groups...
Guess what?
He'll still have a job there forever.

Friggin' hypocrites.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Just A Few Thoughts...

...as I try to get recovered from my trip to A Nice Golf Course.

On the radio yesterday around 2:00 - (Fox New Radio, no less!)
The talking voice was discussing the new gun control legislation and about the possibilities of adding restrictions on "multi-clip magazines"...

Huh?

If you want to read some asshattery, dial up your favorite search engine and google "multi clip magazine"

-=-=-=-=-

As news came out on the Boston Marathon bombing all I could think about was how lives can be saved if we had better laws controlling bombs and explosives...
(Seems my man McThag had the same thoughts...

-=-=-=-=-

Listening to the press conferences from Boston I finally realize why JayG at MArooned always refers to the mayor of Boston as "Mumbles Menino". Dude talks like he has a mouth full of cat turds.

-=-=-=-=-

I don't care what AP calls them, they are still Illegal Aliens. Period.


-=-=-=-=-

Nanny Bloomberg thinks there is something wrong with you if you sell a gun to a family member.
So... In his mind, if you want to do this, you are mentally ill and should be prohibited from firearm ownership anyway.
Does that mean that if you disagree with him about trans-fats and 32 oz. soft drinks, does that make you mentally ill too?
Obese=Mentally Ill?

Sorry- FTMF.

 
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

In lieu of REAL content...

Another Talking Dog...



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Still Alive...

...but just barely.

I took a quick trip to NJ on the 28th and a woman sitting behind me on the plane was working on coughing up a lung the whole way...
I was thinking "Perfect- the one time I don't take my Airborne is the time Typhoid Mary is sitting behind me."

By the end of the day on the 29th I couldn't catch my breath and any attempt at a deep inhale would leave me blue from hacking and my throat looked like something was clawing at the back of it.

It was all I could do to get to the airport at 5:30 on Saturday AM for my flight home.
I got back to Jax, and barely made it home.

I coughed and sweated through the rest of the weekend, hoping that I would shake it off before my next departure (Monday AM - to Augusta ).

No good. When Monday rolled around I wasn't any better... The Woman Who Knows Most Things and the Perfect Child were concerned and told me I shouldn't go.
Ha.
Right. I'll just call in sick. Someone can just take over my project...

The guys bundled me into the cargo space in the van and we all drove to Augusta.
Tuesday through Sunday we got all our hardware setup and worked on testing our software and procedures- fortunately my staff here worked well on their own...
On Sunday I mustered all my strength and did my training class-
Teaching our 66 volunteers how to do our thing...

Most often heard phrase this week: "How you doin' Big Guy? Cause you look like shit."

Yeah- well, looks aren't deceiving. I feel like shit.
Horrible hacking cough, fever. Still.



One of my volunteers comes up as we are wrapping up on Monday night. I'm sitting outside my ops trailer, coughing and sweating...
"Hey- let me take a look at you..."
He tells me he's a PA over in Charleston. He looked at my eyes and took my pulse...
"Hmmmm. Let me go out to my car for a second."
Comes back with a stethoscope and a thermometer...
He checks me out. 
"Yeah- you've got walking pneumonia."
He writes up 2 scrips - "Publix pharmacy is open 'til 9. Go fill these. Now."

Started taking my meds yesterday AM, and I actually feel semi-human this afternoon...
Up until this afternoon, I have had only enough energy to get my work done, then go straight back to my room - skipping dinner - and going straight to bed.
Today I actually feel good enough to break out my laptop, check my emails, reply to a few...

And I guess I could write a little something to let people know I'm still alive. Mostly.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Don't Blink!

One of my favorite bloggers, the fair Brigid at Home on the Range put forth definitive proof that Black Labs are actually Whovian Weeping Angels...


(You DO know Weeping Angels, don't you?)


Go read her complete breakdown here, as I don't want to even paraphrase one word of her prose...
(Plus, I don't want a visit from Barkley in the dead of night...)

But I never really thought about it... Until Brigid brought it up.

Whilst nibbling on goodies as I watched Downton Abbey (yeah... you got a problem with that?)
the Dark Menace slowly and demurely approached...



And then the fatal mistake- I looked away for a moment.



Great Googly Moogly, Black Labs are Weeping Angels!


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Close... So Close...

Damn.
Almost got the full row on my Dumbass Commuters Bingo card this AM...


Cigarette Butt Flicker - Check.
Two-handed CellPhone Rant at highway speed- Check
70 MPH Eyeliner Application - Check
Lap-Texting Downlooker Misses Light - Check

The only one I missed in that row was a 3-Lane Beacon Sweep (without turn signal) Cutoff...

Damn. Maybe tomorrow.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Rant of the Day - Bloomberg Edition

Hey you elitist snobs:
You need to get over thinking that USA=NYC. (And the same for you fruits and nuts in Kalifornia, and the nepotistic asshats in Chicagoland.)

Just because you think it works for you and the other ignorant yankees in NooYawk, that it will play here in Florida, Tennessee, Iowa, Wyoming or Idaho.

I am tired, tired, tired of hearing some elitist billionaire from Yankeeland tell me how much I can eat or drink of something, how much salt I can put on my food, and I'll be damned if I'll listen to you on how you think my family and property should be protected.


(pic by Getty Images)
You want to end gun violence? "Don't start nothin', there won't be nothin'."

Keep violent criminals in prison. Reinstate the death penalty for capital crimes.
That would be a good start.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

You Just Now Figuring This Out?

Politicians = Completely out of touch with reality

Alan Grayson seems to think Social Security will enable Joe Sixpack to retire at a reasonable age and enjoy his golden years... His rant is regarding the Sequester, but he seems to think SS is a completely viable alternative to a retirement account or a 401K.

Grayson delivered a petition to Boehner’s office with 300,000 names gathered by an online effort from liberal groups, the Other 98%, MoveOn.org and Social Security Works.
“Then they’ll say OK instead of the sequester that is causing all this pain, let’s cut Social
Security, let’s cut Medicare, then let’s cut Medicaid,” Grayson continued. “This is the first step down a slippery slope towards you work until you die. That’s why this has to be fought so vigorously. Washington does not normally see 300,000 speak as one.”

Grayson, you happy asshole... Some of us working stiffs have already figured out that unless we have a golden retirement parachute like you feeding-at-the-Government-teat barnacles & freeloaders, we will be working until we draw our last breaths.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Before & After

It's amazing what a little makeup will do...

Keira Knightley


Sarah Jessica Parker


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Boolits

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Figures...

There has to be some kind of global conspiracy that is watching everything I do...
It's the only reason that some many things I like wind up getting cancelled or discontinued.
*cough*FIREFLY*cough!*

The latest is Google Reader.

I knew that they were killing iGoogle off in November but Reader?
C'mon. It works!... It works well!

Seems like lots of people use it and like it!


Help keep Google Reader petition.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Ides of March Eve

Et pi, Brute?



For all your nerdly needs on Pi Day.

 TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sports Exclusive!

Sports exclusive-

First photos of Usain Bolt and his son!



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Oversharing

From our "Shocked and frankly a little concerned" department:


Regarding a missive from constant reader J. A. who wishes to remain nameless:
(oops- I did that wrong, didn't I?)

"My girlfriend has this book that she has been studying, and I feel like I should be the one to give the review...
The only thing I think I can safely share with you is that the title is the key.
It says '...he'll never forget'... It DOESN'T say '...he'll really enjoy.'

Further the deponent sayeth not..."

Wow, dude... Thanks for sharing...NOT.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Mistaken Identity

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Fruit. Bat.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Not When I Google It On Bing...

Really- this isn't that helpful when I Google "87 Ford F-150 headlight assembly".
And I really think it's highly unlikely to be the answer when one does a search on "Furry toilet brush fetish pron"...

(Which reminds me, I need to go clear my history, cache and cookies...)

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Spoiled Rotten

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.



I did some figuring on the last couple fill-ups of gas for the FJR and Jarvis*...
The FJR gets 41 mpg on the average and about 49 on the highway.
Back and forth to work I can get 200-210 miles to the tank of go-juice.
The F150, not so good. That 302 V8 is thirsty!
Going back and forth to the office consumes 1 gallon each way!
So between 7-8 bucks a day to ride in dry comfort, or if I have to transport something bigger than a loaf of bread to or from the office.
The bike costs $2.45 round trip...

Like I said- two wheels good, four wheels not quite so good.
Unless it's raining.


Man. That sucks out loud.

I'm trying to readjust my weekly budget, trying to decide if I can really continue to have lunch at Hooters once a week.

Hooters isn't cheap...
(The waitresses are, but the food, not so much.)

All of a sudden 10 wings, iced tea and a tip is almost 14 bucks.Especially when iced tea is $2.85
(How fair is it when you can grind up someone's lawn clippings and soak them in hot water and charge 3 bucks for it?)

Gah.
I guess everyhting is bad these days...
I splurged and went to 5 Guys for lunch the other day...
(Really? 5 Guys is a splurge? Yeah-  Bacon cheeseburger, Fries and Drink - $14.00 without a tip!)

It's getting pretty expensive to stoke the fires of The Machine...

The rest of the week?
Let's just says that I'm getting really familiar with the dollar menu at Wendy's and Mickey D's.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
(The Woman calls the black & red pickup Jarvis, after UGA outside linebacker Jarvis Jones)

Don't Come Between The Dog and His Food

a/k/a "I'm gonna bite the shit outta you..."



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE