Quote out of Context- 3/30

Judy (to Dave): "Don't you remember coming to my desk and putting your little thing in my thing? Then it all worked?"

Everyone else: "Whoa! TMI!"

TBG out-

New Comic

I've been getting a kick out of a new comic I found...

XKCD



Read it, you uncultured bastards.

(Cultured bastards and yogurt can skip it.)

TBG out-

Lunch at Hooters

Wings. Girls.

What more could you want?

Brrr.

Denver, 4:40 am
I hate waiting for shuttle buses at darkandcold:30
Appearently Colorado didn't get the word that it's @?#$% SPRING TIME!!

Glo-Bull Warmening

Welcome to Denver.

It's 28 degrees...
Snow flurries are swirling around me as I wait for the Avis shuttle bus.

I don't even have a long sleeved shirt.

Weather.com has boned me again.

TBG- mile-high freezing

Good News - Bad News

Bad News - I have to go to San Jose CA to work on a problem.

Good News - I know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.

Bad News - 6AM flight, 5.5 hrs in the air.

Good News - Continental Airlines-got an upgrade. Woo Hoo!

Bad News - They lost one of my bags.

Really Bad News - It's my tool kit.
Stuff I really really need.

TBG - waiting for my bag to be delivered. 3 hours so far.

Overheard on the Plane

Old woman to her travel companion as they waited to get to their seats:
"This chicken is so heavy! Next time, *you're* taking it as a carry-on."

Beau on the mound

The Boyfriend is pitching tonite.

Idiotic EULA Language

You'd be amazed to what you are agreeing to when you check the "I agree" box on the End User License Agreement when installing software...

I recently had to upgrade ITunes in order to load more irritating noise music on the Perfect Child's iPod...
Just for giggles I scanned the EULA before I clicked the "agree" button and this little gem caught my eye...

10. Export Control. You may not use or otherwise export or reexport the Apple Software except as authorized by United States law and the laws of the jurisdiction in which the Apple Software was obtained... Blah blah blah... You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

So... Does this mean Achmed the Terrorist can't listen to his iPod while building a Dirty WMD? Further- does it mean that when Johnny Drive-By goes out wearing his iPod listening to C-Murder and Sikk the Shocker chanting "Kill the F**cking Pigs" is he in violation on the EULA?

I guess Apple is going to Eulaize themselves out of the lucrative missle and nuclear weapon market. I guess the rocket scientists will be using Zunes for their development instead.

TBG out-

Cancel my Trip

Penis Theft?

Hello- travel department?

Yeah- cancel my trip to Kinsasha.

Hurts so good.

Indulgence

Last time I got a pedicure was in August of last year.
I'm overdue for foot maintenance.

If you've never had a good pedicure, you're missing out on a hedonistic treat.

Listen to your Uncle Jay- get a pedicure. Your feet will love you for it.

Beau knows Baseball

Senators Run Away With Title
Fletcher's Beaudreau pitches a four-hitter to shut down Parker.


BOB SELF/The Times-Union
Fletcher's Beau Beaudreau pitches during the first inning, striking out the first three batters against Parker in the Gateway Conference tournament championship game Thursday night at the University of North Florida.

Article here

Why is Uncle Jay running a post on a local High School sports team?
Don't you recognize the Perfect Child's swain...?



We went to the game last night out at UNF- to watch Beau pitch...
It was really fun - in attendance was Beau's mother Kathleen, stepfather Alan Halpern, father Bob Beaudreau, and Beau's grandfather Bob...
Now they move on to District competition next Wednesday.

TBG, starting to enjoy baseball-

Is That What Happens?

Wow. I always wondered about those little packets...



TBG, not eating the desiccant.

Yeah, I guess I could....But why?

31

I'd hate to have to put it to a test...

TBG, missing his moral compass-

Twitter

In case you have been living under a rock the last few months-
Check out Twitter.com

It's got some potential...

Follow me on Twitter - Search for UncleJay

It's a cross between blogging and and RSS feed for SMS messaging.

TBG out-

Yikes!

Susan to The Roach at Waffel House:
(in regards to a slice of bacon)
"You want me to lick all over it?"

Egads!

TBG...out-

Out of Context

Susan: "I'm not touching Mitch's mouse...."

I'm not up on all the street terms but I'm pretty sure this is something nasty...

TBG out

Shocker...

(Thanks to The Roach for the ref-)

Nervz. I has dem.

TBG- wired and dangerous

A new DIY Combo

Everyone remembers the advent of the Master's Cordon Bleu...



Well... I've been slaving away in the Listen to Uncle Jay Test Kitchen and have developed the newest culinary delight here at A Nice Golf Course...

The Pimento Chicken... Known to some as the Master's Elemental Chicken.

Firstly, assemble your mise en place...


One Chicken Fillet and one Pimento Cheese sandwich.


Open them both up...


Spread the pimento cheese on the Chicken Filet.

Pop the tasty morsel in the microwave for 30 seconds on High.

Don't have a microwave handy? Neither do I.
But I do have a Toaster...


30 to 45 minutes on the dashboard in your Blue Toaster will do nicely.


Mmmmm. Tasty sandwich.

TBG, noshing.

You down with OCD?

Susan is at it again...



Susan's 2007 bout of OCD...

TBG, messing up the M&Ms-

Pics from the Past

Wait a second...

I think the guy making the "C" is Spongemark Squarehands.



Wow.

TBG out-

Blast from the Past

Reminds me of this little slice of heaven last year.

TBG out-

Quote of the Day - Augusta Style

"I brought you some salt for your nuts."
-Susan

Yikes!



TBG, salty enough already

Sombrero Night - 2008

I'm getting old...

I can't do this more than once per tournament anymore...


The civilized end of the table...

As opposed to the more rowdy end of the table...

Zack from the Wrong Way

...is way too happy about the shot of tequila.
Jake, however, looks like he's had three or four already.


Last time we did this there was much breakage...

As the number of shots consumed rises, the chance of Sombrero-ness increases...


Pointy Mexican hat for the Beekeeper Travis


A big hat for The Big Hat...


Big Red Velvet VanDeWater


Hey SpongeMark!
Is that a sombrero, or are you just happy to see me?

Genties and Ladlemen,

...The Three Amigos! Dusty, Lucky and Little Neddy.

Thank Ghod for our designated driver!

TBG, mostly recovered.

Must...Not...Drink...Tequila...

Someone broke into our house last night...

It was this guy, I think.


He didn't steal anything, he just put fuzzy tequila-flavored little socks on my teeth.

I think he shit in my mouth too.

TBG, recovering.

A Little Something for Robert

Godspeed, little taco.

A kiss for luck and it's on the way....

TBG - 5 shots later...

Augusta Taco Quote

After 26 shots of tequila and a mass SMS message to Robert offering soft tacos in exchange for (or maybe in place of) sexual favors, the following was overheard:
SMSH: "I'm going to slip my taco under Robert's door."

Oh my.

Tbg, Ewww.

This Can Only End in Tears

Oh, this has got success written all over it.

Tomorrow is going go suck.

TBG, 3 of them are mine...

Headline Confusion

Survivor of fatal January shooting fears for his life

Article Here

Shooting... Right.
Fatal... Right.
Survivor... Huh?
Fears for life... I don't get it.

TBG, so confused.