Don't Blink!

One of my favorite bloggers, the fair Brigid at Home on the Range put forth definitive proof that Black Labs are actually Whovian Weeping Angels...


(You DO know Weeping Angels, don't you?)


Go read her complete breakdown here, as I don't want to even paraphrase one word of her prose...
(Plus, I don't want a visit from Barkley in the dead of night...)

But I never really thought about it... Until Brigid brought it up.

Whilst nibbling on goodies as I watched Downton Abbey (yeah... you got a problem with that?)
the Dark Menace slowly and demurely approached...



And then the fatal mistake- I looked away for a moment.



Great Googly Moogly, Black Labs are Weeping Angels!


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Close... So Close...

Damn.
Almost got the full row on my Dumbass Commuters Bingo card this AM...


Cigarette Butt Flicker - Check.
Two-handed CellPhone Rant at highway speed- Check
70 MPH Eyeliner Application - Check
Lap-Texting Downlooker Misses Light - Check

The only one I missed in that row was a 3-Lane Beacon Sweep (without turn signal) Cutoff...

Damn. Maybe tomorrow.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Rant of the Day - Bloomberg Edition

Hey you elitist snobs:
You need to get over thinking that USA=NYC. (And the same for you fruits and nuts in Kalifornia, and the nepotistic asshats in Chicagoland.)

Just because you think it works for you and the other ignorant yankees in NooYawk, that it will play here in Florida, Tennessee, Iowa, Wyoming or Idaho.

I am tired, tired, tired of hearing some elitist billionaire from Yankeeland tell me how much I can eat or drink of something, how much salt I can put on my food, and I'll be damned if I'll listen to you on how you think my family and property should be protected.


(pic by Getty Images)
You want to end gun violence? "Don't start nothin', there won't be nothin'."

Keep violent criminals in prison. Reinstate the death penalty for capital crimes.
That would be a good start.


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You Just Now Figuring This Out?

Politicians = Completely out of touch with reality

Alan Grayson seems to think Social Security will enable Joe Sixpack to retire at a reasonable age and enjoy his golden years... His rant is regarding the Sequester, but he seems to think SS is a completely viable alternative to a retirement account or a 401K.

Grayson delivered a petition to Boehner’s office with 300,000 names gathered by an online effort from liberal groups, the Other 98%, MoveOn.org and Social Security Works.
“Then they’ll say OK instead of the sequester that is causing all this pain, let’s cut Social
Security, let’s cut Medicare, then let’s cut Medicaid,” Grayson continued. “This is the first step down a slippery slope towards you work until you die. That’s why this has to be fought so vigorously. Washington does not normally see 300,000 speak as one.”

Grayson, you happy asshole... Some of us working stiffs have already figured out that unless we have a golden retirement parachute like you feeding-at-the-Government-teat barnacles & freeloaders, we will be working until we draw our last breaths.

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Before & After

It's amazing what a little makeup will do...

Keira Knightley


Sarah Jessica Parker


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Boolits

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Figures...

There has to be some kind of global conspiracy that is watching everything I do...
It's the only reason that some many things I like wind up getting cancelled or discontinued.
*cough*FIREFLY*cough!*

The latest is Google Reader.

I knew that they were killing iGoogle off in November but Reader?
C'mon. It works!... It works well!

Seems like lots of people use it and like it!


Help keep Google Reader petition.

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Ides of March Eve

Et pi, Brute?



For all your nerdly needs on Pi Day.

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Sports Exclusive!

Sports exclusive-

First photos of Usain Bolt and his son!



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Oversharing

From our "Shocked and frankly a little concerned" department:


Regarding a missive from constant reader J. A. who wishes to remain nameless:
(oops- I did that wrong, didn't I?)

"My girlfriend has this book that she has been studying, and I feel like I should be the one to give the review...
The only thing I think I can safely share with you is that the title is the key.
It says '...he'll never forget'... It DOESN'T say '...he'll really enjoy.'

Further the deponent sayeth not..."

Wow, dude... Thanks for sharing...NOT.


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Mistaken Identity

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Fruit. Bat.

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Not When I Google It On Bing...

Really- this isn't that helpful when I Google "87 Ford F-150 headlight assembly".
And I really think it's highly unlikely to be the answer when one does a search on "Furry toilet brush fetish pron"...

(Which reminds me, I need to go clear my history, cache and cookies...)

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Spoiled Rotten

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.



I did some figuring on the last couple fill-ups of gas for the FJR and Jarvis*...
The FJR gets 41 mpg on the average and about 49 on the highway.
Back and forth to work I can get 200-210 miles to the tank of go-juice.
The F150, not so good. That 302 V8 is thirsty!
Going back and forth to the office consumes 1 gallon each way!
So between 7-8 bucks a day to ride in dry comfort, or if I have to transport something bigger than a loaf of bread to or from the office.
The bike costs $2.45 round trip...

Like I said- two wheels good, four wheels not quite so good.
Unless it's raining.


Man. That sucks out loud.

I'm trying to readjust my weekly budget, trying to decide if I can really continue to have lunch at Hooters once a week.

Hooters isn't cheap...
(The waitresses are, but the food, not so much.)

All of a sudden 10 wings, iced tea and a tip is almost 14 bucks.Especially when iced tea is $2.85
(How fair is it when you can grind up someone's lawn clippings and soak them in hot water and charge 3 bucks for it?)

Gah.
I guess everyhting is bad these days...
I splurged and went to 5 Guys for lunch the other day...
(Really? 5 Guys is a splurge? Yeah-  Bacon cheeseburger, Fries and Drink - $14.00 without a tip!)

It's getting pretty expensive to stoke the fires of The Machine...

The rest of the week?
Let's just says that I'm getting really familiar with the dollar menu at Wendy's and Mickey D's.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
(The Woman calls the black & red pickup Jarvis, after UGA outside linebacker Jarvis Jones)

Don't Come Between The Dog and His Food

a/k/a "I'm gonna bite the shit outta you..."



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Know Your Hemlines

I've been watching too much Downton Abbey...




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Quote Of The Day - Oklahoma is OK Edition

From our "Four Rules Violations" Department:

"It would seem to be a very dangerous way to carry a loaded firearm. If it goes off it’s only going one place"

O. M. F. G.:

During book-in, a female officer noticed “something strange” during the search.
“The officer observed the handle of a revolver sticking out from inside her body,” Ross said.

Glad I'm not from Oklahoma- they have a weird idea of Vagina Dentata...

“It was a five shot,” Ross said. “It was loaded and as she turned around, she noticed more plastic baggies, larger plastic baggies wedged in the crack of her buttocks.”

I guess this gives new depth to the term "packing heat"...


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Rotten Misogynist Bast...oh... wait...

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Business Decisions

Coffee Shop or Mermaid Porn?


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C'mon Ladies... I Thought This Was Hockey...

In honor of having two of my favorite Puck People commenting and a good Uncle Fester JR reference on a recent post, I think we need some hockey content.



Must be those new league rules where instead of throwing punches the players only get to use harsh language and say bad shit about their respective mothers.

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Poor Yankees

You're breaking my heart...

Y'all stay up there and continue to be Good Yankees.
(I really have a problem with you Damned Yankees- who decide they like it down here in the South, so they carpetbag their asses down here, then run for local political office so they can change things to the way they had it "back home"... FTMF)
 
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Speechless

You know, I can usually come up with a witty quote or a humorous bon mot...
But this one... I don't know.



Can a Constant Reader help me out?

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"And then depression set in..."

I've gotta tell you, I am starting to despair regarding the political process in Florida and in the US in general...

I am hammered every day by bloggers insisting that I call or write my elected officials regarding this or that topic. In the election cycle I am urged to get out and vote, and make sure all my loved ones and pets get out and vote too...


Know what?
I have come to the conclusion that the road to hell is paved with wasted effort.
Seems like I call and I write and I vote and it just doesn't make any difference.


Are we making a difference? It doesn't seem like it.

I would think that elected REPRESENTATIVES would REPRESENT us when we tell them what our opinion is. From some of the canned and generic responses I have received form these bottom-feeders I get the impression their mindset is "I know you this is what you THINK you want, but I know much better than you what you need, so I'll just go ahead and do what I think should be done, and to hell with you and your piss-ant opinions."

On a whim, I have contacted one of my State Senators and asked the question:
Do you keep statistics when people call or write in with their opinions on issues,
and if so, is it just basic 'tally-stroke' for or against, or are there additional demographics?

And finally - are these results available to the public, or will I need a FOIA request to get a look at the results?

I wonder if I will get a response...?

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Newspaper Reporter IQ Reaching New Low

Some semi-literate keyboard monkey at the Washington Post was recapping the comments from the Connecticut Senator I recently wrote about...

Obviously the scribe was trying to equate the semi-auto=machine gun concept to the low-information voters, bet he did it in a accurate but head-scratching manner:

"...which was carried out by A___ L____* with a semiautomatic assault weapon that reloaded bullets in rapid succession from a single ammunition magazine."

Huh?
Someone take this asshole's keyboard away until he...
No, just take it away. Train him to say "do you want fries with that?".
Dumbass.

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*sorry- I won't ever print the name of someone like this... No notoriety, no publicity. 

We Are Unable to Focus on the Problem, So We'll Do Something Else

From the happy assholes in that shithole at N40.75616, W-73.99017 New York Times:

Senator Christopher S. Murphy, Democrat of Connecticut, is haunted by many things that emerged from the investigation of the December mass shooting at a Newtown elementary school...
“We do know that historically in these instances, amateurs have trouble switching magazines,” Mr. Murphy said, referring to the high-capacity ammunition feeding device used by Mr. Lanza to shoot scores of bullets in seconds. “I believe, and many of the parents there believe, that if Lanza had to switch cartridges nine times versus two times there would likely still be little boys and girls alive in Newtown today.” 

So, it's ok for him to kill his mom, steal her guns, take them to the school and kill the kids as long as he did it with magazines limited to 5 rounds...

More ridiculous are the comments from, typical libtards I guess, which indicate that these idjits are as stupid as the misguided politician the article is quoting.

From the typical NYer:

I approve of the proposed ban of high capacity magazines, but realistically it will not have a major effect. In the case of mass killings, it will help reduce the numbers of deaths, to an extent. The shooters could easily just carry several guns, or practice reloading.

However, the vast majority of deaths due to guns in this country are not due to mass shootings. Those grab headlines and attention, but dozens of people are killed every single day by handguns, and a smaller amount by rifles and shotguns. The high capacity ban, and the assault rifle ban, would have zero effect on these deaths.

"Yes- it won't do any good, but hey, let's do something that limits another law-abiding citizen's ability to use a legal tool in a legal manner, because TEH CHILDRUNZ!"

From another person unable to equate the first and second amendment:
(In Hawaii, no less)

A strict constitutional constructionist, and a believer that the intent of the founders is paramount, and believing that the Constitution is NOT a living document (it's principles do not change with time), we have a right under the Second Amendment to flintlocks and muskets.
This what the Founders envisioned for each citizen.
The Constitution has NOT BEEN AMENDED to update or in anyway alter that ORIGINAL INTENT.
Muskets and flintlocks are the right of each citizen...
Done.

I guess your right to free speech is limited to technology available in 1787, right?

A commenter from Georgia starts to sound semi-sentient, then goes off the rails in a spectacular manner:

Why can elected officials say things like this with a straight face? “I believe, and many of the parents there believe, that if Lanza had to switch cartridges nine times versus two times there would likely still be little boys and girls alive in Newtown today.”

So, instead of shooting 26 people, maybe he would have killed 12? Is that supposed to be acceptable? He could have all the cartidges he wanted; if he didn't have the gun to shoot them with no one would have been shot.

This is so tiring. "Politically toxic" my foot. As if the majority of voters are so attached to being able to have an automatic weapon. It's politicians who are so attached to their campaign donations.

Again- to this mouthbreather semi-automatic=machine gun. Pathetic.

Some other winners:

...As far as straw purchasers, there needs to be a special place in Hell for people like the person who allegedly bought the guns used by W____m Sp____r to murder those firemen.

And W____m Sp____r was released from prison?
Sorry- when you beat your 90-year old Grandmother to death with a hammer and you get to plead to manslaughter? Thanks NY Legal System... You get equal blame for the deaths of the First Responders on Christmas Eve 2012.

Another NYer

I've been following the gun control debate for a few decades, and have yet to read one sensible, rational argument for NOT limiting guns and ammunition from the pro-gun crowd.
...
It takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad guy with a gun? This is the biggest whopper of them all.
Gun control really isn't about self-protection for most of these people. It's about manhood, or some weird psychological sense of well-being and power they get with their weapons.

TL;DR: "Shut up you small-penis rednecks. Grownups are talking."

And from the rain-soggy Pacific Pathetic Northwest Left Coast:

This is that classic Right-Wing tactic: Take a totally crazy position.
Compromise achieving acceptance of a less crazy position.
Ignore them and get it right for Heaven's sakes.

Let me fix this for you...

This is that classic Right-Wing  Liberal tactic.  Take a totally crazy position.
Compromise achieving acceptance of a less crazy position.
(Repeat until process each time a horrible tragedy that fits the agenda to erode personal freedoms and eliminate things YOU don't like.)
Ignore them and get it right for Heaven's sakes. me, please.

Some of them get it though...
One reader (from Texas forsooth!) opined:

While I disagree with the majority of you, I certainly recognize your unalienable right to speak your piece. (First Amendment anyone?)

Many of you may be willing to give up your right to defend yourselves in some misguided utopian hope that it may provide a safer human condition, but until all crime is eradicated and no person ever rises to power and wields that power to oppress others, I believe I shall defend mine.

And another:
(From NYC - oops Georgia, as indicated by typos)

The gun control in any form is NOT the problem. A deranged person who is intent on hurting or killing people, will do so, no matter what kind of gun they have, or how many bullets it can hold or fire. Okay....so we limit clips down to a 5 or 10 round capacity... well...next thing you know, the next lunitic bent on killing someone, will just say... to heck with using a gun, they'll just graduate up to a bomb of some sort, which will have the ability to harm more people than a 30 round bullet clip does.
Instead of pushing for gun control and gun banning for law-abiding citizens, the government should be incouraging people to exercise their right to "open carry" their own firearm, so that the law-abiding people will have the means to protect themselves (and others) when some deranged person decides to try to harm or kill innocent people.
The criminals (whom gun control has no effect upon) will ALWAYS be able to obtain any kind of gun or ammunition they want, on the "streets" or the "black market", no matter what gun control laws are passed. Only the LAW-ABIDING people are negatively affected by governmental gun control laws, through disarming law-abiding innocent people of the means by which to protect themselves.

Go read it yourself - cover your keyboard though... I don't want to be liable when you vomit all over it as you read the comments.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Adapt and Overcome

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Red Meat

So, the Woman Who Knows Most Things and I were discussing the sad state of affairs when it comes to steaks in restaurants these days.

We lamented that back in the day (when we were dating and first married) Outback Steakhouse actually had pretty good steaks. Now, not so much.
As a rule, 99% of the steaks restaurants serve are poor to bad.
Even in "steakhouses"... I'm looking at you Longhorn and Texas Roadhouse.
Flavorless steaks- tough and poorly prepared, with uninspired service; Or worse, snotty service with overpriced dogmeat.


The exception in chain/franchises, of course, is Ruth's Chris and Morton's.

Been to RC twice and Morton's once... Both were pretty damn amazing.
Expensive, yes, but on a satisfaction-to-the-dollar scale, well, we're not going more than once or twice a year, so it is worth it.

There have been  a couple other places that really were top-notch...

One was in Indianapolis- St Elmo's down on South Illinois St.
Wow. The experience was amazing.
Ketel One Martinis, their signature shrimp cocktail (hard to impress me with shrimp- but they managed to do it - the secret is in the sauce) and an amazing hunk of red meat.
(Man... I wonder if I could get Tam and Bobbi to do a blogmeet there?)


Not truly a "steak" place - Lawry's was a very memorable experience too...
From the Caesar Salad prepared at the table to some of the best prime rib I've ever had.
It has a place in my top ten.


Another place that used to be a must-experience when visiting Orlando-
Charley's Steakhouse (although word has it that it has gone downhill since being acquired by once of the super-restaurant chains.)

There have been a few others... I wasn't overly impressed with Smith & Wollensky's, but there was a local place that was really good 20 years ago- The Tree Steakhouse... They tried to expand and screwed up their business model... Shame.
(Of course- this discussion is about regular steakhouses- not Brazilian Steakhouses... Different kettle of meat, as it were.)

Why did we get on this topic?
Because there was a commercial on the tube for Applebees touting their steak entrees...
I don't know about your experience, but I've found that the food usually looks better on the commercials, and this looked awful- I remarked that if it looked that bad on the 'tube, the real thing was probably horrific.
 

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Today I Learned...

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Stress Test

A promotional stunt in Germany-
Rather well  choreographed...

I'd like to think that the moment I saw my face in the paper or on the TV I'd be outta there so fast all you'd hear would be the 'pop' of displaced air.


My reaction wouldn't make the broadcast because I wouldn't come up for air until I was on the beach on the Bahia de Omoa or living on dust and algae on the marge of Lake Laberge (on a boat called the Olive May).

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Happy Black History Month

Some helpful tips for you:


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