Cup of Coffee, David?

So... Our location in Whistler/Creekside is a snug little trailer way behind the spectator seats at the bottom of the Alpine run...

The Graphics Palace
That structure in the background is the backside of the spectator gallery...

So...
Do you want a hot cuppa or a bite to eat?
Heh.

See that big white tent at the bottom? That's NBC catering.

Man that's a lot of stairs...

The view from the top:


There is no view from the bottom, since to get that I'd have to walk down that beast, and conversely, climb back up.
Ain't gonna happen, Capt'n.

Hey David- If'n I was you, I'd pack a lunch from the hotel rather than make that trip.
Just saying.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Signs of the Apocalypse - #3 (Vancouver Edition)

Really?
You needed a sign for this?


Having problems with humans drinking from the urinals and toilets??
I mean, logic dictates that if you are sufficiently sentient that you can read, you PROBABLY don't consider a toilet as a viable everyday hydration source. But then again... We are talking about NBC employees, after all.
Maybe a warning is needed.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sick Bastards at the BOC

Barry: "You know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
Other Asshole: "What, the taste?"

Jeebus!


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Metaphor/Quote of the Day, Vancouver

Toronto:"Vancouver is a beautiful but empty-headed woman you long to sleep with and then can't wait to ditch so that you can talk about something other than the muscle tone of her thighs."
Ian Brown, Globe & Mail

Wow.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Huh.

Is this a Don't Ask/Don't Tell thing?

The Morning After SOTU (Language Warning - NSFW)

Oy vey.
My head feels like a foot, and I think a camel came in my room last night and shit in my mouth.

More filth after the break... You were warned.

I Know What I'm Doing Tonight...

I'll be playing the STFU Obama State of the Union Drinking Game...

Take one drink every time:

- Urkel the Narcissistic Putz says any form of  I, me, my or mine, or makes any other self-reference.
- Queen Nancy pops up and claps like a botox-addled jack-in-the-box.
- Any time applause breaks out and lasts for more than 10 seconds.
- Bonus Drink: If during applause, cameras cut to a Republican who is not applauding and looks like he's rather be having a root-canal than watching this crap, drink twice.
- The cameras cut to Mrs Urkel and whatever job loss/bad economy case history the White House will plant next to her, for Urkel to tell a sob story about.
- Urkel blames the previous administration for the still-existing problems that he told everyone he'd wave his magic wand and fix.
- Urkel says: Let me be clear...
- You can spot any male in the crowd wearing a suit in any color other than black, gray, or navy blue. (Supreme Court Justice sightings are exempt.)

Special cases:
- Cap and Trade - Swap drinks with the person next to you and drink
- Health Care Reform - Drink (Sip) a Boston Sour - (2 oz Blended whiskey, Juice of 1/2 Lemon, 1 tsp Powdered sugar ,1 Egg white, 1 slice Lemon, ,1 Cherry)
- Nancy Pelosi closeup or without Urkel in the shot - You must drink without moving your facial muscles.

- Camera shot of Scott Brown - Drink a Kennedy's Seat - (47 year old bourbon and sour grapes.)
- Camera shot of Joe "You Liar" Wilson: Drink a Pink Faced Liar (2 oz Ketel One vodka, 1 oz Tanqueray gin, 4 oz Mountain Dew Code Red soda, 2 splashes grenadine syrup, 4 oz Schweppes tonic water)

Let's see- STFU SOTU starts at 9:00pm EST... 6 out here in dope-smokin', tree-huggin', nanny state of British Columbia...
I'm planning on being hammered by 6:45...the waitresses at the Shark Club better have their A-game tonight, cause it's going to get ugly.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What's Your Sign? - Olympics 2010

I'd  ask "Why?" but I'd probably be better off without that knowledge...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Going Back Down The Mountain Will Be Fun

The fog is rolling in at Cypress...

I Guess I Have To Pull The Plug

 Well...
The Internet Police stopped by the other day and decided she didn't like me or my 'blog.
She didn't have the fortitude to leave her name or Badge Number, but did let me know the she had taken a whole six minutes to examine my archives, research all my content and decided I had robbed her (and you, obviously) of a few irrecoverable moments of her oh-so-precious life and questioned my motives for keeping my 'blog...

Anonymous said...    
I happened upon your Blog site (CN Tower pic???) and thought I'd see what your blog is about. Just think.... I've wasted 6 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. What a waste of time, yours, mine, anyone who reads your crap. Why do you need to document your sexist and anserine,dopey, foolish, blockheaded, boneheaded, duncical, fatheaded, loggerheaded, thick, thickheaded, thick-skulled, wooden-headed,  cloddish, doltish, dense, dim, dull, dumb, obtuse, slow,  gaumless, gormless, lumpish, lumpen, unthinking, nitwitted, soft-witted, witless, senseless (any all other synonyms for stupid) thoughts?

To which I can only reply:

Who you calling "gaumless", Bitch?
I don't write it for you, I write it for ME...
If you don't like it, don't read it.

See you next Tuesday.

BTW Synonyms.net called- they said you owe them $20 for stealing their content without attribution.
Save your money and try to be original with your name-calling.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Glaring Omission

I just noticed that I had missed linking to Og, the Neanderpundit...
He's one of the Indy Blogmeet crowd, and an exceptionally insightful blogger.
Somehow his link must have gotten swept under the carpet.
I have since noticed the error and corrected the Linkage omission.
Sorry Og...Mea Culpa
Everyone else: go, read, be enlightened.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

New Olympic Event?

Don't ask me, I just work here...


Just stay out of the Drop Zone, that's all I can tell ya.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What Has It Gots....

...In it's naaaasty little pocketeses!


JayG, Marko the Munchkin Wrangler and Scotaku have pushed this little meme along, so as I wait for the Code Monkey to arrive, I'll give it a go...

Emptying out my pockets... (wow- 11; thank Ghod for cargo pants)
Let's see what I have...

(Top to bottom, left to right...)
Wallet, Leatherman Fuse, small zip tie, RJ45-to-RS232 adapter, AA  Batteries, my 2009 Gallery notebook (22 pages left), Sony 4g SD media card, Patriot 8g Flash USB Key, Kingston 4G SDHC card,  Atwood SuperBug, NBC Vancouver lapel pin,  4 RJ45 modular ends, electrical tape, LED flashlight, laptop lock key,  big-ass Sharpie, spare stylus, Chinese dual-SIM phone, TMobile HTC DouchePro2, USB Cable, S&W Tanto Lockblade (Gibbs Rule #9), $5 CAD, $5 USD, wetwipe, hotel key.
(My two always-carry writing pens are stuck in the collar of my shirt, not in a pocket.)

Having a ton of crap in my pockets is nothing new- Mom always said that if I fell in the water I'd sink straight to the bottom with all the stuff she'd find in my pockets.

No overt personal defense items... No reciprocal rights in Canada for my Florida permit... I'll have to rely on my pocket knife and my charming personality if I get into A Situation.

So... What're you carrying?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Signs o' the 'Pocky-clips

Wow...They're strict 'round here.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Signs of the Apocalypse - #2 (Vancouver Edition)

For a second I thought it said Garage Bear.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

What Kind of Soda?

Wow...
For a second there I thought it was something else.

TBG

Did You Think This Through?

If you were "invited" to work at the Vancouver Olympics, one of the SWAG? items that you got was a lovely piece of Eco-Bling in the form of a water bottle.
One of the many (many, many) memos and notices that we got (all printed and Fed-Exed to us) cautioned us to be sure to bring our NBC issued water bottles, since there wouldn't be bottled water at the IBC or the venues in order to cut down on the number of #2 bottles cluttering up the landfills in British Columbia.
They would instead have water dispensers in strategic locations where you could refill your bottle.

Well... Isn't that nice.


Can you read that sign?


Sustainability.
Right...

Why don't you press the mouth of your bottle against the spigot where that guy with SARS/H1N1/CreepingCrud/Whathaveyou just had his...
Without some way to wash/sterilize the bottles, I have a feeling there is going to be widespread exchange of several biological boojums in the IBC and the other venues.

And overall, I'm not sure how much plastic abatement is going to occur...
No- no bottles of water, but...


Yeah... We're doing our part for the planet here, baby.

Oh yeah...
One other goodie-
Instead of trying to save the planet, how about a better class of snack food?
At other strategic locations around the IBC we have:

Candy, chips, & pretzels.

Oh wait- there are raisins too.
Oh good.
I'll definitely have a thimble-full of raisins instead of a Twix or bag of M&Ms.

This is going to be trouble.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Trouble Brewing

An All-You-Can-Eat-Sushi joint 3 blocks from my Hotel.

This could be trouble.
I'm envisioning another altercation with the Management, and perhaps a restraining order in my future.

Lovely. 

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Signs of the Apocalypse - #1

From SA, Zaxby's on Beach at Intercoastal West:

Ewwww.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Irony, Number 5 in the Series.

Man, that flame job looks awesome.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

In a CRJ700 to ORD

Two and a half hours in a toothpaste tube with wings.
Welcome to AirRage,
population: Me.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Irony. Part the Fourth

Sherlock would not approve.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

The Upstairs Fridge

Every now and then my next-door neighbor at work, P² comes up with a winner...
I got his all-company missive this morning and got a real chuckle out of it...

To: Everybody

From: P²
Re: Upstairs Refrigerator Exorcism Notification - Fri Jan 22 @ 3pm

Good morning,

Sorry for the SPAM… being convinced that some type of living organism has taken residence in the upstairs refrigerator, we will be throwing out (i.e. into the dumpster) all items in the upstairs refrigerator this coming Friday @ 3pm, regardless of expiration date, type of canned liquids, toxicity, science experiments, etc. 
Yes, “all” means all stuff (fridge compartment, not freezer side).

Freezer items that have passed expiration will be discarded, but any items still valid (safe) will not be tossed.

As recommended by Jerry & David, (our sysadmins - TBG) after the cleansing, we will reboot the fridge 3 times.

Cheers.

 I was particularly entertained on two fronts-
First, the fridge is right outside my office door.
Occasionally, when the atmospheric conditions are right, someone will open that door and I have to leave my office until the air clears.
The second level of entertainment is P²'s excellent blurring of metaphors...
Refrigerator Exorcism, especially the high-tech form of the ritual: a triple re-boot.
Sweet.
And Joanna thinks she has office fridge problems...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Test test

This is a test....
For the next 60 seconds we will be conducting a test of the mobile blogging system.
If successful, that embarassing confidentiality statement will NOT be attached to the end of this post...

Remember, this is only a test.

-------------
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Exploitation

Following the Massachusetts wake-up call, Yours Truly wonders how Rahm "Twinkletoes" Emanuel and the rest of the puppetmasters that are pulling Urkel's strings are going to take advantage of the situation...
I mean, these are the guys who live by the mantra "Never let a crisis go to waste" ...
TBG -Watching & Waiting.

Irony, Part C

Anarchy! That's what it is... Anarchy.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sucks to be You

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tiger's New Sponsor

Oh, the hits just keep on coming....

Thanks to Jingles for this goodie...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Quote of the Day - 1/19/10

Spongemark Squarehands:
"Ah. I see they have officially changed the names of the competition where I'm working in Vancouver.
Instead of working Freestyle and Snowboard, I'm at Waterskiing and Wakeboarding."

Wear your waders and bring a PFD, man. It's gonna be wet up there.

WEATHER: Wet, Mild Weather Has VANOC in Snow Salvage Mode

A little more than a month after Whistler Mountain reported its snowiest November in history, Cypress Mountain, the venue for the 12 Olympic freestyle skiing and snowboarding events, is making weather headlines of its own. On Wednesday, after days of warm temperatures and heavy rainfall – what locals are calling a "pineapple express" because the jet stream pulls weather from the tropics to British Columbia – Cypress was ordered closed to the public until after the Games (It was originally planned to close Feb. 1). With conditions creating enough of a problem, officials did not want to risk the further erosion that comes with regular use. A joint statement from VANOC and Cypress Mountain read in part: "The course building crews are now actively working to preserve snow on ski trails which could be needed to supplement the snow on the courses."

 
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Have Mixed Emotions On This

Man shoots out window to escape sinking SUV after veering off Northern Calif. road into creek

Things to ponder...

1. A Kalifornia gun owner/user carrying his shootin' iron in his car in a place where he can get it and use it in a timely manner?

2. If you are so high-strung that you can be so startled by a hands-free cell phone ring that you crash through a guardrail and into a creek, you have other issues to deal with...

(I'm assuming the "creek" he drove into and had to shoot his way out of was a small stream or brook, and not a Native American from the Georgia/Alabama area that was moved to Oklahoma in the 1830s. The Woman Who Knows Most Things is part Creek.)

3. I'm glad he wasn't on a street crowded with pedestrians or on a interstate full of cars...

Just saying...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE