Your cards and letters.

I keep getting fan mail...

Sometimes people leave comments in regards to a topic or picture. That's cool...
Sometimes I get comments in an e-mail sent directly to me instead. This, too, is cool.
But if I get e-mail, then I have to respond, and since the answer might be of interest to all, I'll just post some of the answers here...

To DRG:
Yeah. The food was OK... Just not what we were expecting for Italy...
And yes, the potato skins looked like roadkill.

To HHT:
Her name was Claire, and even if I had her e-mail address and phone number, I wouldn't give it to you. For free.

To LAW:
Yes, Mark is a funny guy, quick with witty repartee and pretty much everything else too.

To KR:
Yeah. Sorry. Mark got tired of being on the webcam.

To GS, et al:
Yes, I look older, younger, grayer, lighter, heavier, more angry, taller and shorter with my hair cut.
THIS IS WHY I ONLY DO IT ONCE A YEAR.

To RD:
"Physalia" is my car. An Eternal Blue Pearl Honda Element... Often referred to by others as "The blue toaster."

Re: The pic of the door of my office.
(In reply to several people)

1. The pic is now a link to a bigger version. Click on it to see more detail.

2. The top sign reads "Some people are alive simply because it is against the law for me to kill them." (Some of you will do well to remember this...)

3. The one in the middle reads "Free Beatings Today - For more info, please annoy the ogre sitting at the desk within."

4. The pic on the upper left is Hunter when she was about 4, dressed as a Dalamation for Halloween, along with her role model.

5. The partially obscured newspaper clipping was a headline from a Brisbane newspaper that reads "It's OK to beat the kids."

6. The pic on the lower right (above the fish) is from Hawaii. The girl on the left is Geri Lavin and the one on the right is Janine Thomas.
No, you don't know them.
No, you can have their contact info.

7. The No Fish pic is for Marco. Originally posted on the microwave oven outside my office.
(Marco likes microwaved canned tunafish for lunch. Which means the stench of hot tuna pervades the office for the next 45 minutes.)

8. The pic of the ogre under the stairs (lower left) was from Cleveland, as I was running cables in the arena. You haven't lived until you've been down in the muck and mire that collects under the seats in an arena like the Gund...

Famous out-

Sombrero Night & the Seven Warning Signs

Well... We made it.
And just in time for Sombrero night!

As we were on the road Jamie mentioned we might make it in time for Sombrero night... I told him I'd talked to Mark and SN was scheduled for Thursday. Nope- tonite.
Hmmm...
We got Mark on the phone and found out they'd re-rescheduled it for Wednesday night. Lovely- a 5 hour drive to be concluded with heavy tequila consumption.

We went to the course and dropped off our equipment as they guys were finishing up for the day. I took Jamie over to the house where he was staying, then I went to my place to wait for the others to come home and get ready to go out...
Mitch (the Regulator) and Mike (Davis, from California) arrived shortly thereafter and we all went over to Veracruz. The three of us got a table for 8 and started with the Wednesday drink special -
Jumbo Margaritas- $4.50. Hoo Ha!
Mark, Jon, Jamie, Eric & Robert arrived minutes later and after they ordered drinks Mark threw down the gauntlet...The first round of shots was on the table before we had ordered our meal.
(This, in case you aren't aware, is one of the "7 Danger Signs of IDS" See below.)

It should be obvious that things would be going from bad to much worse in short order.
The annual celebration is referred to as Sombrero Night because at some random point in the evening, we would begin to pull the decorative sombreros off the walls and wear them...
(Pictures courtesy of Eric Wisdom's cell phone.)


Mitch, Mark & empties.


Jamie Odum and Mark, "Smile, you gringo bastard."


"And tonight the role of Dirty Sanchez will be performed by Eric Wisdom"

For those who may be worrying, Mark, Mitch and Yours Truly were the only real drinkers... The other 5 attendees were our designated drivers...
A good time was had by all, and there was no invocation of the "Lynch Procedure",
where someone in the party has to call Rallis to have him come down to the local hoosgow and bail us out for some legal infraction.

The next morning was very subdued... All the window shades were drawn and everyone spoke in whispered tones... By 4 or 5 PM we were mostly recovered and ready to go out again...
I chose the better part of valor... I took Physalia over to the self service car wash and scrubbed 300 miles of bugs off the grill of the blue toaster.
I'm a wild man.

More fun and debauchery tonight...

-------------------------

The seven warning signs of IDS
(There are others, these are the most prevalent)

1. Having a company policy named after you.
2. Shots before dinner
3. Shots before breakfast
4. Shots instead of dinner or breakfast
5. Talking to AND getting answered by inanimate objects
6. Support for the "LPGA Jihad"
   
7. Being on a first-name basis with airline flight crews

Famous! out.

Getting ready for my next gig & New contest.

Preparing to get on the road for my next job...

Based on the client's propensity for secretiveness, I really can't come out and just say where it is, or what the work I'm doing is, but let's just say I'm working at "A Nice Golf Course"...

Anyway- Heading out tomorrow (the 29th)... Physalia will be loaded to the gills with equipment, luggage and 2 ogres... I'm giving Jamie Odom a ride- he's part of my support crew for the project.

Mark Moore- My partner in crime in Italy is on site at "A Nice Golf Course", too, but only for a little while. Lucky bastard is leaving early to attend a wedding. He sent me a message yesterday about me missing out on Sombrero Night, which I think is some kind of celebration at the local Tex-Mex beanery...
Last year we drank tequila in prodigious porportions- This year promises to be a repeat, since when I said I couldn't make it for the original schedule, they moved Sombrero Night to Thursday. Ho Ha!
Tequila y baile toda la noche con las muchachas!

So...

Mark was whining today about a service he'd requested months ago and said service was not completed. At a regualr event, this would not be suprising, but at A Nice Golf Course, it kinda is. They usually don't drop the ball, so to speak.
I'm so used to it (incomplete service orders) that it doesn't faze me anymore.
I sent him the usual reply "IDS=Isn't Done, Sorry"... He didn't see the humor.
The boy is too much of a prefectionist. (Not anal retentive or OCD, but shit like this really puts a twist in his knickers.)
Then again, he's only worked one Olympics event... The embodiment of things not being ready for prime-time... Just wait 'til Beijing. Heh.

A task for you, my evil minions...
Bend your thoughts to coming up with a new acronym for the company...
For years we have always used "IDS=I Don't Sleep" to reflect the concept of long hours and the moments of panic that make up a typical event...

I was going to post a list to be filled out on the door to my office, but I think it would just get lost in the background noise...


So...

Let's see what y'all come up with...

IDS =

I Don't Sleep

Idiots Drinking & Singing ('97 US Open)

Isn't Done, Sorry

Idiots Doing Sports

...


Famous, out-

Friendly warning

Just some advice:

Don't take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I'm just saying....

Famous, out-

Fresh Blood

One of our guys on the LPGA event staff,(a/k/a The LPGA Carneys) also has a site up...
He's been shooting quite a few pics from some of his events, and he has a pretty nice site... Definitely worth a peek- if only to see the pics that he took in Hawaii.

Pay him a visit- Tell him The Big Guy sent you...

http://www.thewrongway.com

Tasty stuff, Zack!

Famous, out-

And the hits just keep on coming...

(For some odd reason, most questions are preceeded by the word "wow".)
(or "mom" or "EOE" or "303". Long story, don't ask.)

17. Wow. Did you know you the gray in your hair is really noticable now?

18. Wow. Haircut? Or in your case, a shearing?

19. Wow. You know, your head looks much smaller now.

20. Man. You gonna start wearing a hat?

21. Are you less "amazing" now, just like Samson was after his haircut?

Famous out-

Dumb questions II

14. Man, did you lose a bet?

15. Wow. I bet that hurt.

16. When you got your haircut did they cut enough off to donate?

Keep em coming...


Amazing the haircut, out-

Dumb questions.

1. Did you get a haircut?

2. Wow. What happened?

3. How many people did it take to hold you down?

4. What happened to your hair?

5. Where's your hair.

6. I know you from somewhere... Don't tell me...

7. Wow. Who are you?

8. Wow. The yearly chop.

9. Man. Did you get arrested?

10. Wow. Must be springtime.

11. Shedding?

12. Is it Thursday?

13. Wow. Did they charge you by the pound or by the yard?

14. There is no 14, yet. But the day is young...

Famous the haircut, out-

Torino Wrap

"Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend-
Come inside! come inside!"
-Emerson Lake & Palmer - Karn Evil 9


Just a quick review and farewell to all of our friends in Italy and elsewhere...

In Sauze d'Oulx & Bardonecchia

The crew at Paddy McGinty's
Orlando, Alex, our favorite bartender whose name I never learned,
Amy, "H" (The fixer), Gio (The Vandal), DJ Danny and Kaz (Keep 'em warm...)...


The good folks at Queens Lounge-
Alfredo, Amy (The OTHER Amy), Nichie and Julia (Have a chips...)

At Sugo's- Mauritzio & Tattoo...
The best pasta in the Suza Valley.

Customers & People
The English girl who tried to ride me like a horse,
as her boyfriend was passed out at the table
during the trivia contest.

The dude who followed me back to the hotel because he was sure
I had been hitting on his girlfriend.

The Russian girl who tried an assualt on the north face,
as I tried to make it across the dancefloor at Osteria Vagabondi.

Katie- Our waitress at Debili, who showed up at Paddy's
very late at night, very inebriated, very often.

And at Melezet- Eric Angstadt-Torres from Atos, Nicola (at OVR) and
of course Omega Girl - Talar, and their flawless crew that provided results!

And all the Japanese...
(The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders...)

At NBC (BDY)
Bruce, Partick, Ivan (Bill Murray)
Mike, Harvey A, Taz, LJ, Jeff the (other) viking, Carrie,
The Talent- Pat, Tina, Mark S, Todd and Bettina from Dew Tour.
Super Dave Osbourne, Lisa, Charlie, JT,
and Annette, our Graphics crews...

In SDO at FR- Mike, Billy & Jeff-
Plus the runners- Simone, Andrea, Elena & Luca...
Y'all were the best!

At the IBC in Torino-
TJ- who I thought had learned his lesson in Athens, back for another
round of night shifts and bad local food.
(At least no pork sushi this time, eh TJ?)

Byron- Audio tech par excellance- another Athens veteran.

Craig Lau- our man at NBC. We run away kicking and screaming, and he just keeps dragging us back...

And our crew-

In Torino-
Daryl "Ned Flanders" Carson
Mitch "The Regulator" Mitchell
Susan "Don't touch the hair" Walker
Bob "The Apostle" Lanham

In Sestriere
Stass "The Codemonkey" Iordanov
Lacey "Rookie" Koerner
"Smilin' Dave" Kananen

In Sauze d'Oulx
Mark "Spongemark Squarehands" Moore

In Jacksonville
Paul "Kapusta" Podkulski
John "Croc" Sarmie
"Dr. Rob" Ayres
David "Special K" Kazebee

Ned Manchu sez:

See you on the Great Wall - Bejing 2008!

Famous the Technician out-

It has been a year now...

"Hey boy, you need a haircut. You look like a chrysanthemum."

Last time I got a haircut I was in Orange, California.
Working the challenger tennis event at Ridgeline Country Club
up in Orange Park- outside Anaheim Hills.

Do you think it is getting a little long?


Just as a point of reference, I'm the one in the back, with the blue jacket.
The other blonde is Tina Dixon, the girl who did the athlete interviews for snowboarding on NBC.

Webcam

(No, I don't have new time-shifting technology. By post-dating
the message, it will keep the webcam link at the top of the 'blog.)

More random Olympic views.

Saturday Feb 25-

I got to go skiing...
It had been snowing for almost 3 days straight. I rented skis and boots and headed for the slopes above Sauze d'Oulx.

Visibility was horrible


My right leg only wanted to ski for a half day, though.
Around 1:00 my right calf siezed up... I spent the rest of the day and most of the night with a Lidocaine patch on it to relieve the pain...

Working on my brain freeze.


Up on the mountain there was a little cafe...

...with porno on the menu.


Speaking of menus...

How have people been ordering their steaks that prompted this little nugget?

At the broadcast compound in Bardonecchia, a big dog was staking out the catering tent.

"No one gets breakfast until I see some bacon and hash browns in a doggiebowl."


He takes up the entire entrance way to the tent.

On another note...

Brain Socks... for smart feet.

By popular request... Riberi Media Village.

Tell me this doesn't look like an mental institution.

Now, being from Florida, I didn't know about the dangers of falling ice...

After a heavy snowfall the snow and ice builds up...

Then it begins to slide off...

If you slam the door of the cabine, there is an excellent chance of getting hit by a big (heavy, sharp) chunk of ice.

Sometimes they are incredibly intricate, and dangerous since the convoluted design makes for unpredictable breakage.

Note to self- don't stand under the big sharp ice-stuff.

Famous out-

Food fun, Olympic Style

Now, you would think that in a country that is known for it's cuisine and wines they they would pull out all the stops when they are in the world's spotlight...
Sadly, either they have been pulling the wool over our eyes for years, or they just don't give a crap.

I'm not sure what I was expecting...
First, I'm not a big fan of Italian food to begin with.
True- I make a mean lasagna, and I enjoy the occasional meal at Carrabbas, but by and large, I'll take barbeque or chicken wings over pasta and red sauce any day.
Second, I'm not sure the Piedmont (Northwest Italy) is exactly known for it's gastronomic delights as much as southern Italy.
What I can tell you is that most non-catered meals have been a relative disappointment when it comes to flavor and content. As for catered meals, that is a completely different kettle of fish...or chicken, and we'll get to that in just a minute.

Restaurant food, especially in Sauze d'Oulx and Torino, has been a disappointment. I think the guy that knew where the garlic was growing died and didn't tell anyone where the stash was... All the food has been pretty bland- with one notable exception.
A restaurant called Sugo's down in Sauze d'Oulx has been a treat every time we have been there. They specialize in two things, Bruschetta and Pasta. And because they concentrate on that, thay have it down to a science. They had 15 or so variations of bruschetta with differing combinations of parma ham, spek ham, mozzarella, gorgonzola, walnuts, cream, olives, tomato, and othe savories. The pasta is served family style- Big pots or dished piled high with different types of pasta. We tried a penne with beef, garlic and peppers that was just fantastic. Another one we tried was a tagliatelle with wild boar meat, garlic and chilis. Really an excellent choice. The guy that runs the place, Mauritzio (Maurice, or Furgeson, as I called him) is always willing to make a change or exception since the pasta is cooked fresh when you order... So if you wanted the wild boar sauce on farfalle instead of tagliatelle, it is no problem.

Other places have been very hit-or-miss...
Right next door to Suga is a place called del Borgo... Great cream of tomato soup- but the mushroom soup was poor. I expected more from their pizza, as it had come highly recommended. Alas, the two different evenings we went there, I was not exactly carried away. The best thing there was a chili oil we got them to bring in order to liven up our pizzas. The scoville rating wasn't very high on it, but it there was some good flavor to it.

Miraviello is right next to the hotel, they specialize in crepes, but the ones we tried were overcooked, or the ingredients were overpowering... Mark had a crepe with mozz, gorgonzola and an olive tapanade that was just overpowering... My Brie & Speck was ok, but very light on ingredients.

Godfather's restaurant was a disappointment- after we made our choices the owner came over to our table and tried to change everyone's mind... Mark & Jeff wanted pizzas, Mike & I wanted ribs. Il Padrino came over to push his pasta trio... ravioli, lasagana, and penne. "It is the best in Italy."
It's the best because it was cheap and already cooked... All he has to do is serve it, so it is a low cost-per-serving. A winner when it comes to the bottom line.
Well, he was able to sway Mark and Mike, and in the end they were really disappointed about it. I ordered the ribs, and they brought a t-bone steak that was still bleeding (more than normal). I sent it back and asked for my ribs, and they were a sad study in bovine anatomy. To say it was all flavorless would be an undestatement...
and to cap it off- this was the place that wouldn't serve coffee after our meal..."I don't serve coffee", the owner said, "because I don't like coffee."
How does this guy stay in business?

Paddy McGinty's is the Irish bar in Sauze. Fortuitously located directly across from our hotel, it is one of the "crawling distance" bars that, even better, carries Captain Morgans Rum.
On a sign outside they tout their various cuisine... Thai, Indian, Mexican, Chinese...
It is somewhat misleading... Just because you carry frozen spring rolls, that doesn't mean you are serving Thai. Ditto for Fajitas (especially curry chicken fajitas) as the height of Mexican food.
Chinese... I don't remember what the Chinese dish was, but I'm sure it was very marginal.
Now, truth be told, I had the BBQ ribs and they pretty tasty. And Ivan the GE Guy had a t-bone that was outrageous. But...
On the other hand, there is something to be said for truth in advertising.
On the menu they have potato skins...
The menu reads "Deep fried... Hell.. Here, you read it...

Look there... Fried potato skins, cheese, bacon bits.

Now- I'm thinking a TGiFridays kinds thing...

What came to the table, however. was a bit of surprise.


Does this look like deep-fried potato skins to you?

Overall, so far the food has been disappointing.

Want to make a billion dollars?
Open a Chinese restaurant in Sauze d'Oulx.
And bring some garlic.

Now- Apart from the slice of hell that is the local restaurant scene, the catered food here is atrocious.
Even worse tasting, food that is supposed to be warm or hot is cold, the cold food is hot, things are either burnt or raw, and are almost universally bad.
I believe the best food I had was at the IBC (International Broadcast Center) in Torino for breakfast one morning... They were making pancakes with Canadian maple syrup. By far the best meal I have had here.
And don't get me started on the BBQ spare ribs that were covered in a nice marinara instead of BBQ sauce.
Sad, really.

The other bizarre thing is the catering crew they have at the venues (BDY and SDO at least) are world-class when it comes to playing with food. As they stand there waiting to slop a scoop of cold scrambled eggs on your plate, they are continuously moving the food around the chafing dish. Scoop scoop, scrape scrape, dig dig... And give them a pliable media like mashed potatoes and they start ot get creative. A sculpture of the NBC peacock in macaroni & cheese, the Olympic rings in scalloped potatoes.
One guy at SDO is a real winner... He'll capture one of the pressed-and-formed pork cutlets with his tongs, then suspend it from one corner, gently shaking it until the piece breaks off, then he eats the little piece. Truly bizarre.

There have been several articles on how bad the food is here...
From a piece on CNN.com...

-CNN Story-

...Russian bobsledder Nadezda Orlova didn't need words to describe what she thought of the food -- she just gave a thumbs down.
Her physiotherapist, Alexander Kluykov, said he feared the food could affect Orlova's performance.
"She wants to eat, but she can't," he said. "When you eat something it must taste of something, it must smell of something."
In the prefabricated tent that houses the cafeteria, American skier Ted Ligety, who won gold in the combined, left a plate of pasta with tomato sauce half finished on the eve of the giant slalom.
"The food here is actually not so good," he said. "The highlight this week is that they installed a machine for ice-cream bars."


The really telling comment from this piece...

Not everyone was critical of the cooking.
"I think the food is good, especially the Chinese food," said Polish bobsledder Mariusz Latkowski.
Then he added: "But I'm sad there isn't a McDonald's here."
(Usually there is a huge McDonalds in every Olympic Village.)

This piece is actually on the food in the athlete's dining rooms in the Olympic Villages, so I can tell you that the stuff for us production peons is exponentially worse.

The games are drawing to a close. Time to start branching out.
There has to be good food somewhere.

Hungry the Jay out-

Taken Out of Context - Continued.

A real winner from Paddy McGinty's Pub last night.

"That's the biggest piece of meat I have seen in Italy. "

Famous.


Amazing out-

Someone, please just put a bullet in me now...

Let me just give you the items, and you can fill in the scathing commentary.

• Riberi... Mental hospital part due.
• IBC...Fascisti Mag & Bag guys.
• NBC Commissary - E.Coli Cafe; Pasta, or is it PASTE-a?
• Riding the buses - taking a different route every time. 10 minutes or 45, for a 2km trip.
• Curling - Hours and hours and hours of curling.
• Ribs for dinner - The red sauce was marinara, not barbeque...
• More curling
• Back to Riberi - 8:00am call to go back to the Sauze d'Oulx.
• 90 minutes to the Mountains- 60 minutes of morning traffic.
  (And everyone knows how much I hate traffic!)
• Scaring the driver with my snoring as I slept in the car on the way out to Sauze.

More out-of-context quotes:

"The NBC show has begun. We don't need no stinking athletes."

"Geez- I hope the webcam didn't catch that..."

"In order to get information, one must endure the bullshit."

"What kind of winter sport that involves snow gets delayed because of snow?"

"We call that place the LSA... Less Safe Area. It is an area with restaurants and pubs very nice, and low price. But people, they are not so nice.
So just pay more care in the LSA. In night time, consider to cross the LSA never alone."

IDS Employee going to McDonalds in IBC:
(Name withheld to protect identity. We'll just call her "Security Guard Killer")
SGK: I would like some fries, please.
McDonald: Would you like fries with that?

Amazing out-

Olympics Gallery

I've posted part of the Olympics Gallery.

Click the the pic to view...

Famous out-

Migration

Well...
I've made a temporary move from Sauze d'Oulx down to Torino. Definitely a step down. I'm staying at the Riberi Media Village...
(Riberi, Italian for "Mental Hospital built on toxic waste dump".)

I'm not saying the rooms are small, but I have to step out in the hall to change my mind. Even the mice are hunch-backed. All those old Henny Youngman lines...

The IBC isn't so bad.. the food is OK, and I keep running into people I know from NBC (the NBA days, Athens, etc) so that aspect is enjoyable. But I kinda miss the folks up in Sauze...

I'll be here a few days to give the guys here in town a couple days off, then I head back up to the mountains for the last couple Snowboard events (Parallel Giant Slalom) and to breakdown the equipment.

A few pics from Sauze...

From my window at the hotel in Sauze d'Oulx

Looking up the street.

And looking back down...


A timberwolf walking down the street in front of the hotel.

Please do not feed the wolf. (Picture courtesy of Spongemark Squarehands)


I did get one good pic from last night downtown near Piazza Vittorio Emanuelle...

One of the national promotional "houses" on the river Po. Not sure what the big blue place up on the hill is yet...

Taken out of context, part 2.

"One drunk girl and fifty guys does not constitute a strip club."

"Oh. That is terrible. Have a chips."

"That shiny one is going to be tough to get down..."

"But, I pulled down my pants for you!!"

"What is that new IRM code for Curling - FOA?"
"Falls On Ass... It's unofficial, of course."
"...Let's see if she goes down again."

Day # 7

Lucky 7?

(Snowboard spoiler omitted)

Oh well...

I have some pics and some out-of-context quotes for you to mull over...

In Sauze d'Oulx...

Here's your sign, Mark...

Stass is one sleepy codemonkey.

Snoozing between the Qualifiers and the Finals

There would never be price gouging at the Olympics.

For $1.80, that better be one tasty candy bar.

My stash of cold drinks.

Labels are important so no one grabs your stuff...


Quotes:

"We don't know dogs, we just shoot them."

"Don't let the facts get in the way of a good show, Billy."

"Is that clean, or is it clean-clean?"

"I looked into their eyes and do you know what I saw? The smell of defeat."

"Any Idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out."

"I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode."

"But I don't live in Sez-tree-air. I live in Sow-zay-dooks-ee..."


Amazing out-

Random Olympic Views - Day 6.

Just some pics...


IDS Breakfast... Water, Marmite, Clartyne, Espresso, and a flask of Capt. Morgan.


Standing in line at 5:30 AM, waiting to go through Mag & Bag.


Snowing harder in Bardonecchia before the competition starts.


What the well-dressed spotty dog is wearing this season.
A very sweet young dalmation in Sauze d'Oulx...


The view from the door of my trailer.

Day 5 - Frequently Given Answers -continued.

(Sauze d'Oulx/Bardonnechia/Sestriere edition)

1. One hour. Maybe two. If not, ask again tomorrow.
2. If I had two, I'd give you one.
3. Four! Not one or two or three... Four!
4. [accent=Greek] Perhaps, yes. [/accent]
5. 6.5 pounds per gallon.
6. Dogfood. Low-grade dogfood.
7. I are wearing a jean pant.
8. Here's your sign.
9. The Finnish Contingent.
10. mom
11. Famous!
12. You must get out (of the car) here.
13. He is on the way. M92 or maybe V42. We don't know.
14. "Uscita Di Sicurezza"? It means "Don't open this door in case of fire."
15. Helicopter? What helicopter?
16. Where are you for dinner? You must eat here.
17. Stop. Let's try it again. And don't say 'arrogant asshole' this time.
18. It IS the rabbit.
19. PDP, oh, it's you again?
20. Another bottle of water, please.
21. You're screwed. (Athens legacy FGA - Transcends all listing.)
22. IDS? I don't sleep.
23. He says he thinks he knows you.
24. This credential is no good for you.
25. No pizza now. Come back after 2:00AM.
29. Crispy M&Ms.

Amazing out-

Quotable quotes. V1.1

You never know what you might hear, so it's good to keep your ears open...

Mark:
Hmmm... Oh. Look. 'Windows Explorer has encountered a problem.'
Wouldn't that be 'Windows'?

Mark:
"That guy comes back in here again, I'm gonna throw the fire hydrant at him."
(I think he meant "extinguisher")

Lisa:
"Oh look- The Japanese competitors are dropping like fries..."

DD (live announce guy at BDY)
"These girls will have to have the runs of their life if they want to medal..."

and a whole slew from Jeff (our director):
"I've lost myself. Which I don't mind."
"Dick!- Shit, I don't have Dick."
"Dick is out."
"Is Dick up?"
"Count me down, Dick."

(Corrected 2-15-06, 4:30)

Famous out-

Update - Early in the Morning

Just a few things...

I've been short on sleep, but nothing like my graphics crew.

Lisa (the DeKo operator) and "Super" Dave Osborne (the PA) are running on empty. Dave has logged 65 hours in the 3 days. When I left the other night, he was trying to catch a catnap in the graphics cabine...


Comfy boxes.

After 2 days of Freestyle and 2 days of Snowboarding Dave hadn't been back to his hotel in 48 hours, and therefore no shower either, so the air in the cabine was getting a little thick.
He had taken to wearing his scarf like a turban... Osama Bin Osborne. I think he wound it around his head to keep his brain from leaking out his ears.


Love the hair, Osama.

What else...

Oh yeah...

Mark is sick.

He's got some kind of sinus infection that has his ears screwed up. As long as he stays at about 1000m (basically, up at Freestyle or in Sauze d'Oulx) he's Ok, but when we go somewhere like into Torino or Sestriere, we come down off the mountain and the Pressure Elves go to work on his eardrums with the icepicks.


We went into Torino- to the IBC, at 6:30 in the bleeding cold morning yesterday. The Elves were working on Mark's ears as we descended into the Piedmont... By the time we got to the IBC in Lingotto he was in agony. He went to the infirmary to try to get some meds.
They gave him a dose of Clarityn (notice the European spelling) and told him to stay out of the cold.
"So... You stay out of the cold, yes?" Doc says.
Mark rolls his eyes.
"You are working where?" Doc inquires.
"Sauze d'Oulx."
Doc gives him a pitying look.
"If possible, you should keep-" he holds his hands over his ears in the 'hear no evil' pose.
We came back to Sauze in time for testing at Freestyle, and since we were back at altitude, the Elves had gone back into remission for a bit. We hung out for a bit and he wasn't feeling any better so he looked into possibilities for getting some better meds... The only NBC clinic is in Torino, which is a good 90 minute to 2 hour trip; He looked into going to a doctor in Sestriere and found it would cost him out-of-pocket to see a local doc, so he decided to go back to the IBC again.
(I opted out and went over to the Downhill to watch the skiier get hit in the face with the pole...)
Mark undertook the journey back to town for the second time that day... Poor bastard.
A futile trip, because they didn't give him any good meds. Heh.

So... Mens Moguls today at Sauze, I'm heading to Bardonecchia to do testing for Boardercross... Hoo ha! I'll be back to Sauze by 6:00 for the finals.

Famous out-

Busted.

Geez...

Isn't that the way it always goes...
The one time I take off and try to enjoy the ONLY event that has anything going on at this time and I get busted.

I got out of Bardonecchia at a reasonable time (4:45pm, after having been there since 5:30AM) and we (Mark, Dave K and Lacey) decided to go to the one location out in the mountains that there was an event going on- Womens Luge in Cesana Pariol. We got there just in time for the 1st run of the finals.

Luge isn't a great sport to see in person... You can only see one small part of the track, and the amount of time they (the competitors) are in your viewing area is only a few miliseconds.
One of the thing we found interesting to do was to try to capture the riders on camera as they go flying by. I have 30 or 40 frames of...ice and railings. No rider.
I do have three or four where I have the rider, or a piece of the rider...

As we were trying to shoot pictures, my cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number that was calling.
"Hey, Lummox. Quit taking pictures at Luge and get back to work."
Huh? I didn't recognize the voice right off...
"Who is this?"
"This is Mitch. Quit goofing off and go back to work."
Mitch is at the IBC, in downtown Torino, handling traffic cop duty for the data and feeds...
If Mitch knows I'm here, that means, oh crap... I'm on one of the video feeds going back to NBC...
I looked around and saw we were right in line with one of the finishline cameras.
Every time they played the slo-mo of the finish turn, we were right there.


Do you like my "pinky extended" photography technique?


Amazing in the rings.

I just can't catch a break.

Famous out-

Ned McKenzie

Ned makes his first appearance at the Winter Games...


Great White Ned - The lost McKenzie brother.

Famous out-

Webcam Hall o' Shame

Well...

You know that there are some webcams here at the Winter Olympics...
I have one here at Bardonecchia and Mark has one in Sauze d'Oulx.
Every once in a while a picture shows up that needs to be preserved for posterity.

These are a few that have surfaced over the last few days.


Nice forehead there, Big Guy.


What you sippin' there, Code Monkey?


Ah, a full moon over Sauze d'Oulx.
(Bettina showing us her good side.)


And the Code Monkey takes the gold!!


Mark checking out Omega Girl.


Mark and Omega Girl, enjoying the moment together.

Famous out-

What? No more frames?

Finally spent a little time fixing the 'site.
Got rid of the last remnants of the original Uncle Jay site- incorporating it all into the current webpage...

As Mark said: "About damn time."


Meanwhile, here's some of the items on my to-do list:

• Adjust the tint on all the monitors in the Edit Room so that all the people are green, and insist to others that Matt Lauer "likes it that way".
• Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
• Staple results printouts in the middle of the page.
• Ask the hotel security guards out for dates.
• Produce a deKo feed consisting entirely of dire NBC copyright warnings instead of location slates.
• Sew big hunks of gun-shaped metal into people's backpacks for the security guys to find.
• Hide dairy products in inaccessible places in the hotel.
• Set alarms for random times.
• Figure out how to implement morse code in Skype.
• Buy large quantities of Happy Dent mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
• Order a side of pork rinds with your pasta.
• Ask for a fine American wine, Gallo or Mogen David for instance, with dinner.
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
• Tape segments of "Sweating to the Oldies" over the master NBC tape at your venue.
• Wear all your clothes backwards.
• Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
• Leave venue ops manager's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
• ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
• only type in lowercase.

Amazing the Guy Big out-

Signs of the Apocalypse

VSA additional instructions...



Screening level three is the only one that is accurate. Levels two and one have additional steps that are not listed on the sign.

Level two:

5. Drop to your knees.
6. Hands behind head.
7. Be very still as attack dog inspects you for contraband and dangerous materials.
8. Do not make any threatening movements.
9. When dog urinates on your back, re-enter your vehicle and proceed to next check point.


Level one:

5. Remove pants
6. Lie face-down on ground
7. To prevent injury to yourself and the inspector, please don't tense up.
8. Wait for the "all clear" air horn to sound before getting up and looking for clothes.
9. Crawl on hands and knees to next checkpoint.

Amazing out-

Frequently Given Answers

(Sauze d'Oulx/Bardonnechia edition)

1. I trust no one. Especially you.
2. We haven't finished killing all the developers yet.
3. No.
4. Ok, yes then.
5. 193 kilos. 195 when I get wet.
6. Yes, but only when the moon is full.
7. It is supposed to be slippery.
8. I could kill you, but then I'd have to hide your body, and you're not worth the trouble.
9. Let me spell it out for you... "B-I-T-E-M-E"
10. wow
11. Milk. Leche... How about latte? Screw it.
12. The key is broken, that's why.
13. I'm not not sure we can get a gallon of flea shampoo here in Italy.
14. Captain & Coke...A double. Twice. And one for Mark too.
15. They are always photocopies. No one has originals.
16. No... I want pizza. Not PASTA.
17. This isn't the right road. I've never seen that elephant statue before.
18. That's not a dog, it's the waitress.
19. Me, winning isn't; You do.
20. There are no more. There won't be any more. Ever.
21. You're screwed. (Athens legacy FGA)
22. No, honestly. I really like pork tartare.
23. A rum and coke doesn't have ANY vodka in it.
24. Just drive through them. What are they going to do, chase us down?
25. You are not having cold?

Bonus answer:

26: I don't like coffee.

Amazing out-

Listen to your Uncle Amazing

A guy (Pauolo) who was hanging out with the VITM yesterday came to Cabine 5 today...
He never said a word when Edouardo and I talked yesterday.
Today I found out why.

Pauolo comes to my door:
"You are Amazing the Technician Jay?"
Huh?
"You are Amazing, yes?"
Hmmm. I guess so...
"Uh, Sure."
"Wonderful. Amazing, I need to drive something into your brain."
Shit. Stand in line, dude.
"Yes?"
"Amazing, the networking of the connection in the TOBO...
(He goes into a long, confusing explanation of how the feeds are run here...stuff that is interesting only in the same way a car accident is interesting.)
"Do you have this in your brain now?"
"Um... I guess so."
"Ah! Famous! I thank you, my friend Amazing."
Pauolo trots off. I stand there trying to process the exchange.
I'm not sure what just happened.

Amazing out.