Saturday, June 02, 2012

Fighting Ennui

I was in search of diversions a few weeks back and I reached out to The Czar at Castle Gormogon (Interested? Contact Castle G, Plateau of Leng RFD) to see if they had any entertaining sideshow exhibits.
"Most Dread & Awful,
I’ve been quite busy of late, and due to a tedious business with a certain drag queen in Pocatello Idaho I have had to shut down my website for a bit and go low-drag in order to avoid the Dogs of Law…
However, I really need to plan a little getaway before my summer schedule begins, and with the need to avoid my normal haunts and local bars I was planning on making another run at visiting the Plateau of Leng and Castle G…
One thing I am particularly looking for is an abyss for gazing into, and in a typical Nietzsche-esque fashion, be gazed into…
So, y’all got a Bottomless Pit of Despair, or maybe just one of the regular sort?
TBG, 2012 vacation planning.

Although he had a suggestion or two I still had to search high and low for a true abyssal void...

One of the things I discovered that there are some rules concerning visiting and looking into bottomless pits...
I guess everything has it own etiquette and protocol.

Viewing the Bottomless Pit  -  The Rules:
  • Please behave responsibly when standing near the bottomless pit. No shoving or roughhousing. Do not pretend to push your friend into the pit and then grab the back of his shirt and pull him backward.
  • The bottomless pit is not a trash bin. Please dispose of all waste in the clearly marked receptacles.
  • Do not throw coins into the pit. It is not a wishing well; it is an eerie and some say unnatural phenomenon that appears to defy all earthly laws. Then again, that would also seem to describe any wishing well. Go ahead and throw the coins.
  • Do not attempt to jump over the pit unless you’ve gotten a good running start.
  • Do not drop handwritten messages into the pit in an attempt to communicate with people in China, the denizens of Hell, or the Mole People. Scientific analysis has determined that the pit does not lead to any of those places, but does not rule out the possibility that it could be a vortex leading to another dimension. So please address all correspondence accordingly.
  • You may hear a strange voice whispering in your ear to, “Jump! Jump in and end it all!” Don’t fall for it. That voice is coming from Doug, one of our eternally bored attendants.
  • Do not throw your car keys to someone standing on the other side of the pit unless that person is a good driver with a healthy respect for other people’s property.
  •  Chest-kicking someone into the pit in a re-enactment of that famous scene from the movie 300 is highly discouraged, unless you can deliver the line “This… is… Sparta!” in a moderately amusing way.
  • Please note: When you stare into the bottomless pit, the bottomless pit stares back at you.
  • When, despite all of these precautions, you still manage to fall into the pit, please do not shriek as you plummet to whatever dark fate awaits you. Ghostly echoes of your scream can reach the surface for several days afterward, and this can put a damper on everyone else’s enthusiasm when viewing the pit.
  • Failure to comply with any of these rules may result in a barrier of thin twine being erected around the pit.

*The rules by Ralph Gamelli


Borepatch said...

+5 on the pit looking back at you.

Teke said...

I've been in the second one.