Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Living My Life Like a Song - Sydney Edition

Oscar Wilde died in bed
Several floors above my head
Living well beyond his means
In that crazy Paris scene
Rain falls down in sheets so clear
And no one ever calls me here
Travelin' by myself these days
I'm into jazz and felt berets
Far from that old Eastern shore
Searchin' for strange metaphors
Quietly Making Noise - Jimmy Buffett
Jimmy was talking about Paris...
I'm about as far from the Eastern Shore as one can get.

This has been my first extended trip to Sydney, and my second to Australia in general. And I've learned a few things...

People drive on the wrong side of the road over here.
On purpose.

People are waaaay too friendly.

The species of crow that live here have the most disconcerting and unsettling calls.

The subway system here sucks out loud.

It's against the law to kill possums, even if they try to pee on your server.
(Seriously - you can't even trap them... you have to call Peter the Possum Man)

If you get in a taxi here, it will cost you $30 to get out, no matter how short the trip.

Macdonald's Australia (Maccas) has a regional item- the Lamb Burger, and it is downright awful.

It takes an act of Ghod to get a root beer around here.
(You can get a good sarsaparilla though...)

"Convenience Stores" should be called "300% Markup over MSRP Stores".

Kangaroo steak... Not as good as I thought it was going to be.

No sign of Kylie or Olivia...or Naomi, or Nicole. Damn.

From the "I don't think that means what you think it means" file:
In the "International" Food Court at Sydney Tennis Center you will find the following-
Burger Hut (Horrible Burgers & Fries)
Sausage Stand (Truly disgusting Sausage and Fries)
Fish Grease and Chips Grease (Guess what they have.)
Pizza (cardboard with red sauce and mystery nuggets)
Mexican (Really awful burritos)
Thai Food Place (Pad Thai. And only Pad Thai. But the most tasty item on site )
Gozleme (Tasty- but don't ask too many questions about the filling.)

Toxic Waste Trivia:
The Sydney Olympic Grounds were once stockyards and a huge abattoir.
All the runoff from the stockyards, the offal and processing chemicals and generally a ton of other bad shit flowed down the hill and wound up in the creek that is the boundary of the Tennis Grounds.
The three guys that waded the creek to sneak into the site were thrown out and it was strongly suggested that they go directly to a emergency room...

As much fun as this has been, this gig has drawn to a close... Hitting the big silver bird tomorrow.

The fact that I'm heading home will make the 24 hours in a coach class seat somewhat bearable...



Old NFO said...

Glad you made it through... Fly safe!

kx59 said...

lmao. so what you are saying is that Aussies don't know how to cook.