Thursday, December 12, 2013

Vehicle of Desire

Whilst waltzing around Krasnodar and Sochi, I came across a vehicle that tickled my fancy...

Now, to preface this missive- Uncle Jay is all about being unique (just like everyone else).
I prefer things a little out of the ordinary.
Hence the Blue Toaster instead of a Ford Exploder, the FJR instead of a Harley, a .44 Magnum instead of a .40 S&W.
You know...

So, wandering the streets of Krasnodar I saw a rather cool looking Microbus looking vehicle. Very utilitarian.
So I started asking questions...

To start with:
"'Dafuq is dat?!"
It's called a Uaz. (Oo-woz)
This was the first one I saw, but hardly the last. The damn things are everywhere in Russia.

I started to do a little digging...

And it seems like it is quite capable, if you spend enough on accessories.

(This is true of anything, from cars to trophy wives. But I digress...)

We saw them everywhere... Like at this checkpoint in Estosadok.
And yes, this picture is yet another example of Stupid American Tricks: Taking pictures of a security checkpoint...
Which can earn you a close encounter with a cattle prod.
Ask me how I know.

We started asking St.Ass questions regarding the Uaz.
He was understandably puzzled.
StAss: "Why would you want to buy zis piece of crap? Zhe ride is horrible because zey use shit springs, zhe brakes won't stop zhe car, and zhe steering is crap."
Yours Truly: "But St.Ass! It's so cool!"
St.Ass: "No, it izn't. It's crap."

He began to pontificate on how, basically, everything made in Russia is substandard and falls apart due to shoddy design and manufacture.
Of this, I am not sure...
I can think of one good example that disproves his blanket statement...
Is good example, no?
Reliable? Da.
Accurate? Perhaps, not so much.

Besides- getting a Uaz through all the EPA and safety BS would be a nightmare and probably be a show-stopper anyway, so I'm going to back-burner my dreams of having all the hipsters giving my cool ride covetous glances...

Maybe I can find this other cool ride I saw on the street in Sochi:
The Mitsubishi Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
"Hey- you got some of your station wagon on my sport car!"
"No, you got sports car on my SUV!"



Luc said...

Okaaaay... So how do you know?

Borepatch said...

You need a Ural motorcycle.

And I would *love* to work in the marketing department of the Ural Moto Company long enough to get them to name their next offering the "Dafaq"

kx59 said...

I immediately wanted one as well.
In Tx if your beater is 23 years old, it doesn't have to go through the smog test anymore. Not sure about your environs, but if you are going to buy a POS, might as well go retro.
As for the Mitsubishi WTF, I thought is looked like a Suburban mated with a Nissan Pathfinder and there were DNA issues.

Old NFO said...

Yeah, those Mitsus are strange...

The Big Guy said...

Because I did it twice and was nearly dragged out of the car for doing so.
Thank Ghod St.Ass was on hand to explain about stupid Americansy Touristos.

Looked at Urals. One of the few bikes that are optimized for sidecars. We actually have a Ural dealer in Jax.
And "Dafaq" - Ha! Win.

Yeah- It would just be one of those Hipster things- "I got this before they became mainstream and cool. And I wear a fez when driving it."
And you are correct 25+ years old and I can import it w/o all the EPA/Safety stuff.
If I can find a 25 year old one in decent condition...
It would probably cost more for the container and shipping than the vehicle itself.
But so cool, though.

"Strange" is an understatement. Disturbing is more to the point-
Because looking at the thing evokes the visual of a Subaru Brat and a Kia Sportage making the Beast with Two Backs...

TOTWTYTR said...

You can buy the Uaz in the the United States. Only it's called the 1963 Ford Econoline. Which apparently the Russians copied and still make to this day.