(Found slipped under my door at the Marriott early this AM. Where the hell was I drinking last night?)
LIFE
GRAND REOPENING!
Appetizers
Side Orders (Sm.) (Lg.)
Combo Platter (Served with Plain Financial Anxiety, or Crispy Fear of Death.)
LIFE
GRAND REOPENING!
Appetizers
Insomnia...............................................$2.00
Weird Dream (4).....................................$4.00
Loud Barking Downstairs...........................$1.20
Cold Bathroom........................................$1.20
Pain in Neck...........................................$4.00
Hangover...............................................$1.10
Angry Wife.............................................$3.25
Dirty Diaper...........................................$1.10
Side Orders (Sm.) (Lg.)
Plain Financial Anxiety..............................$1.00 $2.00Sweet and Sour (Served with Plain Financial Anxiety.)
Crispy Fear of Death.................................$1.00 $2.00
Black Mold.....................................................$2.00
Girl at pastry shop stops flirting with you
when she sees ring...........................................$9.75
Baby daughter paints funny picture of you on
brand-new 46-inch 1080p HDTV...........................$9.75
Combo Platter (Served with Plain Financial Anxiety, or Crispy Fear of Death.)
Take Out the Trash and Give FingerChef's Specials
to Speeding Driver................................................$6.75
Give Finger to Speeding Driver and Run in Park...........$6.75
Run in Park and Loud Barking Downstairs....................$6.75
Loud Barking Downstairs and Take Out
the Trash............................................................$6.75
Give Finger to Barking Downstairs and Throw
Trash at Speeding Driver.........................................$6.75
Dragon and Phoenix..............................................$9.25
Argument with wife cannot be won; stop fantasizing about her seeking forgiveness.
Seven Stars Around the Moon.................................$9.25
Long e-mail to well-connected friend requesting work has bounced yet again.
Four Seasons......................................................$9.25
A strange sense that time is moving faster and faster and you are accomplishing less and less.
Triple Delight.....................................................$9.25
Postman hands you shrink-wrapped parcel, has no idea it contains pornographic DVD, no one home.
Happy Family.....................................................$9.25
Wife elated after you agree to go on medication permanently, despite sexual side effects.
Please: No substitutions.
2 comments:
Oh man, that MUST have been a long evening...LOL
that's some funny sh..tuff. heh.
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