Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Recipe to Drive TBG Nuts:Repetitive Redundancy

There is a pre-specified serial feed cable missing from Beach Volleyball.

Our Venue Operator is unable to find anyone to take responsibility for resolving the issue.
No problem there, it's not really his job; it should have already been identified, labeled and tested before he got on-site.
Yours Truly had already visited Chaoyang looking for it and spoken to the VITM (Venue IT Manager) about it days ago and got the famous handwave and a maiwenti...
"No problem, no problem."
So I knew there was going to be a problem...
But I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

So here we are at 4 days out from start of competition and there is no love...

Now... (And here is the meat of this post...)

There are two ways for this to work...

Average efficient project manager: "Hey Big Guy, can you take care of Task A* for me."
TBG: "Sure. When do you want it done?"
AEPM: "It's pretty important. By end of day tomorrow is OK."
TBG: "No worries. I'm on it. Top of my list for the AM."
AEPM: "Thanks."

The task is then place in my priority queue and assigned critical path status. No problem. Provided nothing else is assigned with higher priority, it gets handled.

Isn't that the way it's supposed to work?

Task assigned, task accepted.
Task accomplished within acceptable time limits.
Easy-peasy-lemon squeezy.

How it works in Beijing:

Not So Efficient, Stressed-Out Project Manager, 11:00am Tuesday:
"Serial cable at Beach Volleyball is still not working."
TBG:"Hmmm. Ok. Let me make some calls."

NSESOPM: "We need to get that cable at Beach Volleyball fixed."
TBG: "I'm on it. This take priority over the IDF Backup?"
NSESOPM: "Yes, high priority."
TBG: "OK- I'm on it."
Several phone calls are made, threats delivered, ultimatums issued.
Responsible parties are not available, one guy on vacation, another missing in action. This is going to need Hands-On from TBG to come to fruition.
I make plans accordingly, setting up to go to Beach Volleyball in the morning to close the OVR-to-IDS Sportbug air gap.
The issue will be resolved.

NSESOPM:"So, Big Guy, what is up with the serve-speed feed for Beach Volleyball?
TBG: "No love from anyone. I'm going over there in the morning to take care of it."
NSESOPM: "It is very important to get resolved as soon as possible."
TBG:"Got it. No worries."

NSESOPM: "Big Guy, have you made arrangements to fix Beach Voilleyball yet? It is very important..."
TBG: "Dude. I'm on it. I'm going in the morning."

NSESOPM: "Jay- I wanted to let you know... It is important to get beach volleyball taken care of very soon. We have only 3 days...."
TBG: "Already cleared my schedule. I'll be there in the AM."

Telephone call to my cell while I'm at dinner:
NSESOPM: "Big Guy.. I want to remind you to take care of Beach Volleyball in the morning..."
TBG: "I'm. On. It." (*click*)

Text message:
NSESOPM: "Jay... The cable for the Sportbug at Beach Volleyball... Have you made arrangements to take care of...."

Email from the Code Monkey
NSESOPM: "Please remember to go to Beach Volleyball in the morning..."

A note is slipped under the door to my room.
NSESOPM: "Big Guy. Beach Volleyball serial cable still needs to be resolved some time today. Please make arrangements..."

NSESOPM: "Jay, are you going to beach volleyball today? We need the cables for the sportbug..."

NSESOPM: "Big Guy...I'm thinking there might be an issue with the Serial cables for the Sportbug..."

TBG: "Hey Stass... I'm on my to badminton. I'll catch you later..."
Look of shock, anger and surprise from the code monkey.
TBG: "Just kidding- Volleyball. I'm outta here."

The feed was found, labeled, terminated, tested and secured buy 1:30.

Guess what time it is?
It's time for the Code Monkey to quit f@#&%ing with me.

*"Task A"
= damn near anything from terminating a Cat-5 cable for a network switch, to planning and executing a small squad infiltration and demolition of a military installation, to engineering a hostile [and I mean *really* hostile] takeover of a Fortune 500 company.


Luc said...

Thank God he was never like that with me! I would have shot him ;-)

Anonymous said...

Wow... I can't say what my reactions would have been.