Before 11:00am PST
CNN:
Climate change!
Climate change,
Reparations!
FIFA!
11:00a PST
CNN:
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
ZOMG!
Twitter:
F'ing NRA!
Evil gun lobby!
Workplace violence!
Praying doesn't help - DO SOMETHING!!!1!11!
11:05
Democrats: Calls for drastic measures to curb gun violence, blaming Conservatives for giving access to guns to everyone from two-tooth hillbilly mouthbreathers to convicted Islamo-terrorists that are on the FBI/TSA no-fly list, including 500 rounds of free armor-piercing exploding cop-killer bullets for free.
Dem 2016 Candidates: Grandstanding with meaningful soundbites!
This isn't normal. WE MUST DO SOMETHING!
Conservatives: Thoughts and prayers for victims and families.
Also: Hey! Slow down! Let's let the situation get resolved before we start assigning blame.
CAIR: "Man, we hope the shooters have a normal American name like Smith or Jones."
11:15a - 6:00pm
CNN:
Active shooter! Live helicopter shot!
Active shooter! Planned parenthood only a mile from shooting location!
Active shooter! Interview with talking head from Three Letter Agency!
Active shooter! Interview with retired officia from Random Government Agency!
Active shooter! Interview with talking head from a different Three Letter Agency!
Active shooter! Helicopter Live Feed!
Active shooter! Planned parenthood STILL only a mile from shooting location!
Active shooter! Vehicle pursuit!
Shootout!
Uh Oh. - Syed R|zwan Far00k and Tashf33n M@lik - Hey! Look! Climate Change!
FIFA Scandal
Climate Change
Twitter:
F'ing gun owners!
Black Lives Matter!
F'ing politicians!
F'ing white mass murderers!
Columbine!
F'ing gun laws!
Aurora!
F'ing NRA!
Charleston!
F'ing GOP!
F'ing Angry White Guy Mass Killers!
(Shooter names released)
*crickets*
(clicky-click - twitter messages being deleted)
Thursday AM:
CNN:
"Motive Unclear"
"Workplace violence"
"Still under investigation."
PSA for Anchorit.gov (Anti child injury by furniture tipping initiative) - WTF?
CAIR:
"Don't blame entire group/subclass/religion for actions of one or two people."
NRA:
"Yeah, we said that last week. Hope it works out for you as well as it has for us."
Twitter:
DO SOMETHING!!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING!!!11!
F'ing gun owners anyway!
F'ing NRA too!
F'ing politicians!
F'ing stupid Americans!
Make $$$ sitting at home in your underwear eating cheetos. Click this link.
**logout & close laptop**
Ghod, I've gotta get out of this office. The exposure to CNN and Twitter is killing me.
I think I'll go drink a big glass of tapwater and go breathe the air out on the balcony that overlooks the traffic circle at Diana Cazadora.
It's gotta be better than sitting in here...
TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
CNN:
Climate change!
Climate change,
Reparations!
FIFA!
11:00a PST
CNN:
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
Active shooter!
ZOMG!
Twitter:
F'ing NRA!
Evil gun lobby!
Workplace violence!
Praying doesn't help - DO SOMETHING!!!1!11!
11:05
Democrats: Calls for drastic measures to curb gun violence, blaming Conservatives for giving access to guns to everyone from two-tooth hillbilly mouthbreathers to convicted Islamo-terrorists that are on the FBI/TSA no-fly list, including 500 rounds of free armor-piercing exploding cop-killer bullets for free.
Dem 2016 Candidates: Grandstanding with meaningful soundbites!
This isn't normal. WE MUST DO SOMETHING!
Conservatives: Thoughts and prayers for victims and families.
Also: Hey! Slow down! Let's let the situation get resolved before we start assigning blame.
CAIR: "Man, we hope the shooters have a normal American name like Smith or Jones."
11:15a - 6:00pm
CNN:
Active shooter! Live helicopter shot!
Active shooter! Planned parenthood only a mile from shooting location!
Active shooter! Interview with talking head from Three Letter Agency!
Active shooter! Interview with retired officia from Random Government Agency!
Active shooter! Interview with talking head from a different Three Letter Agency!
Active shooter! Helicopter Live Feed!
Active shooter! Planned parenthood STILL only a mile from shooting location!
Active shooter! Vehicle pursuit!
Shootout!
Uh Oh. - Syed R|zwan Far00k and Tashf33n M@lik - Hey! Look! Climate Change!
FIFA Scandal
Climate Change
Twitter:
F'ing gun owners!
Black Lives Matter!
F'ing politicians!
F'ing white mass murderers!
Columbine!
F'ing gun laws!
Aurora!
F'ing NRA!
Charleston!
F'ing GOP!
F'ing Angry White Guy Mass Killers!
(Shooter names released)
*crickets*
(clicky-click - twitter messages being deleted)
Thursday AM:
CNN:
"Motive Unclear"
"Workplace violence"
"Still under investigation."
PSA for Anchorit.gov (Anti child injury by furniture tipping initiative) - WTF?
CAIR:
"Don't blame entire group/subclass/religion for actions of one or two people."
NRA:
"Yeah, we said that last week. Hope it works out for you as well as it has for us."
Twitter:
DO SOMETHING!!!! YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING!!!11!
F'ing gun owners anyway!
F'ing NRA too!
F'ing politicians!
F'ing stupid Americans!
Make $$$ sitting at home in your underwear eating cheetos. Click this link.
**logout & close laptop**
Ghod, I've gotta get out of this office. The exposure to CNN and Twitter is killing me.
I think I'll go drink a big glass of tapwater and go breathe the air out on the balcony that overlooks the traffic circle at Diana Cazadora.
It's gotta be better than sitting in here...
TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
1 comment:
Feel for ya big guy... At least I can change the channel...
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