Sunday, December 13, 2015

Travel Lessons - Part 237d

The Overhead

Ok, listen up, 'cause we're only going to go through this once.

All bags go in to the overhead in such a way as to economize space, providing the bin is capable of holding a rolling bag, (exception being those fucking Embraer Gaucho-jets and the CanuckWings CRJ700s) the bag goes in handle out, wheels to the back, not lengthwise.

Don't put your shit in sideways. (TWSS?)

Check to make sure the door will close with your bag in place. Try to close the door- once will do. 
If it doesn't fit, don't keep banging the door hoping it will magically change and finally latch. 
If it doesn't latch, rearrange your bag.

Your bag belongs in the bin above your seat (within reason) especially if you are in the first couple boarding groups.
Boarding Groups 3 through 217 may have issues with this. If you are in a later boarding group and you see a spot as you are making your way to your seat, take it. 
Regarding stuff already in the Overhead:
You can shift a bag a bit, or turn it, but under no circumstances should you take someone else's bag out of the bin. Neither should you rotate or flip someone's bag. Really, if it is any more than sliding someone's bag a bit left or right, ask who's  bag it is and request assistance.

If you (for whatever reason) are late in boarding, and you have to put your bag in the overhead several rows back, you have 3 options for retrieval for de-planing:
First- you can ask the people standing in the aisle to pass your bag forward.
This only works if your bag is 2 or so rows back and is relatively small. 
Second- once the all-clear is given to get up, you can politely move back to where your bag is. HOWEVER- once there, you have to stay there. You have no right to return to your original location.
Third, you can wait until the major bulk of the passengers have exited, then move to your bag when there are gaps in the passenger movement.
What it comes down to is that you can't displace or otherwise inconvenience others due to your issues, regardless of whose fault is was- yours, the airline's or climate change.
What is expressly forbidden is to fight your way downstream, get your bag, then push your way past everyone to get to your original spot.
This can get you and elbow in the solar plexus from that pissed-off ogre in row 7.

And speaking of de-planing etiquette,  don't be the Eastern Euro Douchbag...
He's the one that pushes his way through everyone toward the front of the plane instead of waiting his turn...
Saw this in Russia, Istanbul, and Germany.
First time I was shocked and let it go by.
After that I was on alert for it and gave the moron a quick pop with the elbow as he tried to pass, followed up with my patented Withering Stare.
"Wait your fucking turn, asshole."

I'm going to get shot one of these days...



Luc said...

I wish I was big and scary like you :(

Old NFO said...

I just drop my bag on their feet... :-)