Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Truth In Labeling

More accurate product labeling...

For ladies who insist on a red as their poison-of-choice whilst mooning over a lost love, just remember, red eyes and purple teeth clash. Stick with the white.

Yeah- the coconut flavor is fake, but the blinding hangover is real.

A/k/a - the Hipster's Delight. Just remember kids, it burns going down and coming back up.

Yes - at 11:00p, the bathroom is a grrrls bonding location.
At 2:00am, there are other bondings that occur in the bathroom:
1.  Girls holding other girls' heads out of the toilet during dry heaves
2. Guy/Girl bonding (a/k/a hooking up) - because humping in a stall in the men's room screams "romance".
3. Viral/Bacterial - Because you can catch STDs by using public restrooms... So quit fucking in the bathroom at Skippy's Bar & Grill.

And listen to Uncle Jay- once you KNOW you are going to blow chunks- commit to it.
Because if you try to contain it, the mix of Jaeger, Kamakazi shots, iced tea and the cheeseburger & fries you had for dinner is going to get lodged in your sinus cavity.
That can really put a damper on your hookup possibilities.

"Maybe even go over" - Wow. That's a trip down memory lane.
Listen to Uncle Jay again: Nothing will sober you up faster from a night of boozing than a 9mm shot across the bow from that fucking bitch a scared ex-wife with her new boyfriend as you stand on the lawn of your (former) house bellowing incomprehensible 'threats'...



1 comment:

Old NFO said...

Truth in advertising is right! :-)