Tuesday, July 23, 2013

KA3AHb - Part 5

 - The Saga Continues -

So, программист ученого arrives 2 days late, SpongeMark arrives on the wings of disaster - including a 5 hour tour of Tatarstan when the driver bringing him from the airport got lost. (Seriously)

In that time SeanO and I got to experience some of the other joys of the house of ill repute bordello horrible shithole brothel cathouse  hotel.
It was a terrible place, really.
Once everyone had a chance to experience FortePiano an open rebellion quickly ensued...
Yes- it was as bad as I thought it was going to be.

In my daily updates back to HQ, I outline issues at the event site and any personnel issues...
In part of the closing I included a thumbnail description of the housing issue:
Worst hotel ever.
Sleep-deprived staff=poor performance.
Options to improve existing location are limited.
Relocation would be preferred.

The Staff in Kazan

I got a reply from The Big Cheese with the throw-away closing:
“…if there is anything we can help you with, let us know.”
Wow... Well, since you asked...

"This hotel is appalling. Seriously.
I am not kidding when I tell you this is one of the worst places I’ve ever stayed.
It is a by-the-hour hotel attached to a 24-hour “sauna” (nudge-nudge-wink-wink), and the conditions are horrid. There are no wardrobes/dressers or closets, so we are living out of our suitcases.
Housekeeping is limited to towels being changed out every other or every third day (we haven’t figured out the frequency).
There are no window shades and only an ill-fitting pseudo-curtain that barely covers the window.
As the sun comes up at 4:00am at this latitude, the lack of window shades/curtains makes keeping a restful sleeping environment impossible.
And that would be if we were actually able to sleep-
This whorehouse hotel has no air conditioning of any sort. Not even a ventilation system to move air in and out of the rooms. There are small oscillating fans (one per room), but they are only able to move hot air around the room, rather than actually cool it.
(And I’ll let you imagine how efficient and well-made this
small [Russian-gulag-manufactured] fan is when it comes to ‘quiet’ operation… It’s not quite as loud as someone shaking a tin can full of walnuts, but it’s damned close.)
So, to try to get some relief from the heat, you have to open a window, which is relatively safe if you are on the 2nd or 3rd floor, but not exactly safe if you are on the ground floor.
Opening the windows has its issues also…
With the windows open we get to hear the streetwalkers haggling with the Ivans, the symphony of chirps, whistles and beeps at all hours as the patrons lock their cars and arm their car alarms… And of course the inevitable alarm triggered randomly when someone closes a door too hard.
If you are near the stairway (Yeah, stairway- you think this joint would have an elevator? Hah) you get to hear the tip-tap-tip-tap-tip-tap of hooker heels tripping up and down the stairs all night. Very restful…
Restful is the key-
We are in for some long days- sunup at 4:17 and sunset at 9:40pm;
With extended hours for the schedule of play at the event, and the relatively few hours we will have ‘off’ it would be nice to be able to sleep past 4:00am, and that’s very hard when you’re sweating like a cat in a Chinese restaurant and the room is lit up like the surface of the Sun. (Some of us [Yours Truly] already sweat like a politician taking a polygraph, so it’s leaving some of us more than a little dehydrated.)
Better fans would improve things, but not much. Additionally, putting tinfoil on the windows would fix the sunrise/lighting issue, but the windows would have to be kept closed to have full effect. Probably not possible, even with a better fan.

I’ve mentioned the poor conditions at the hotel to the LTC project manager (Redacted), but Americans bitching about their hotel is probably not high on their priorities list.
Sadly- our DRIVER stays in a better hotel- he asked программист ученого why we were in such a shit-hole, that his place was much better. That's right- our driver was staying at the Kazan Kremlin Marriott.
The obvious solution is relocation, but I’m not sure what possibilities exist- программист ученого is looking into other accommodations that might be available… I don’t know how/what we can work out, but morale among the staff is pretty low at this point…

Sorry to vent, but this is redicking fuckulous.
I pressed the 'Send' button.
I figure I have 5 hours to get my affairs in order...

- Next up: Question to HR: Can you fire someone via email? -



Luc said...

Absolutely fucking ridiculous!

kx59 said...

This is like watching a really, really slow motion train wreck drawn out over days, and I find I cannot look away.
Do try to keep the inner ogre in check. You've possibly stayed in one venue worse...about 90 miles south of Key West. ;)

Erin Palette said...

"redicking fuckulous" is my new favorite words and has been added to my lexicon of obscenity.

The Big Guy said...

Glad I could be of service...
It's nice to be on the cutting edge of vulgar etymology.