Wednesday, July 24, 2013

KA3AHb - Pt. VI - Vindication & Transport

It's 2 in the afternoon and we were in all-out setup mode...
It's all hands on deck - Cables to run, hardware being installed, configuring software, volunteers to be trained, etc...
Since I'm not skilled enough to do any of these things, I'm on "Bitch Duty"...
Taping down cables, dressing the the hardware with cable-ties and making it tidy, and generally doing housekeeping and tracking where all our hardware was being deployed.

A little after 6AM EDT my phone rang.

CALLER ID: Big Cheese

Wow. He called to fire me. I was just expecting an e-mail for the weapons-grade insubordination I had sent off...

The conversation was short. (A $8/min it better be...)
Yours Truly: "Wow, calling to fire me. I feel somewhat honored."
Big Cheese: "Is the hotel REALLY that bad?"
YT: "It worse. I promise."
BC: "Then you guys move. Find another place."
YT: "Ok, thanks for the approval- I need to give LTC an opportunity to fix it. Moving will throw several monkey wrenches in the mix- site transport, airport transfers, etc. Plus, a couple other LTC staff is there too... The need relief too."
BC: "Regardless - take care of you crew. Get it fixed."
(click)

Wow.

I sent a rather toned-down-but-still-very-realistic email to LTC project managers and the on-site director... That got a quicker response.
20 Minutes later I got a text from the LTC Project Manager "(Redacted) is on his way to the hotel to check it out."
SpongeMark said to have (Redacted) go to his room, so I shot a text message suggesting he experience Room 303.
I got a call 10 minutes later.
LTC PM: "You're moving. Hopefully you can stand one more night- pack and bring your bags with you tomorrow on the bus."
I heard from one of the other LTC staff that was at the hotel that when he went into Room 303 it was close to 100 degrees. He stormed out when he saw there was no A/C and only a desk fan to cool the place.

So we made it through one more night, and by the night of opening ceremonies for the Games we were in a brand-spanking-new hotel. Hotel Olymp on Prospekt Pobedy - and even mo' bettah, it was 10 minutes closer to the 'site.

We were roomed on 2 floors of a 12-story hotel... Floor 6 & 7 were mostly finished...

For instance, this is the door to the men's bathroom in the hotel restaurant...
But since the janitorial staff (usually old ladies) barge right in regardless of occupation, no door=no big deal.

They did try to make us feel welcome...

There was an elevator that worked, and they used keycards for entry. No WiFi, bare wires for lighting and (presumably) surveillance audio & cameras hanging out of the walls, but at least the 7th floor had blessed A/C. 
And curtains that actually kept the rooms dark enough to sleep.
Heaven.

We went out to celebrate- that tale has already been told here...

It finally looked like things were starting to level off.
...Until I found out the next morning that SpongeMark still didn't have A/C.
He tried to adapt and overcome-
Being on the 6th floor he just opened the window to catch some breeze, and at around 4AM a cloud of mosquitoes flew in and held a long discussion about whether to eat him right there or to pick him up and take him home for the rest of the brood to enjoy.

He came down to breakfast. He was not a happy camper.
"Fuck this place. Fuck this whole place. I'm heading for the airport."
We settled him down and put программист ученого on it. программист ученого speaks Russian but prefers not to... He likes to sit and listen to the locals talk when they think no one understands them. He says it's very educational.

We were off to the site and the first days of competition...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

10 comments:

Bill Miller said...

You have got to write this up as a short-run series and pitch it to HBO or Netflix

The Big Guy said...

@Bill-
Kinda sounds like an NHL event, don't it?
;)

Luc said...

Hmmm .. let's see .. who would play the part of the Ogre? Richard Kiel? Nah... too tall. Marty Feldman? Nope, too good looking. Larry the Cable Guy, too redneck. Oh! I know, Tom Selleck! Just the right mix of handsomeness, bigness and a NRA card holder to boot.

Tracy said...

If HBO won't buy it, just turn it into a non-fiction novel. I can already see the fruity rum drinks in your hand on the newly purchased private island. Fully stocked with all manners of attitude adjustment devices of every conceivable caliber...

Old NFO said...

LOL, at least you didn't get fired (yet)... :-)

The Big Guy said...

@Luc-
I always saw Vinnie Jones as The Big Guy, or perhaps Stellan Skarsgård.

@Tracy-
"newly purchased"? Dude, if I get an island of my own it will be via a hostile takeover. (Think Schwartznegger in "Commando".) I'm thinking about Loggerhead Key, Bikini Atoll, or perhaps Greenland.

@ONFO-
"yet" - Exact-a-mundo.
I'm doing my damnedest...
I asked the boss once about how to get fired so I wouldn't have to go to these Ghodforsaken shitholes anymore... He told me you have to fuck up really badly.
I told him that was where I was going wrong..
I had been fucking OFF.
I'll get it figured out.

TBG

Luc said...

You sure you didn't mean Toby Jones? Seriously, I see the resemblance with Vinnie. Scary looking motha...

The Big Guy said...

@Luc-
Wow. Toby Jones.
Ahem.

Attention all: Due to recent "events", the position of CFO/Comptroller/Kitchen Staff Supervisor of TBGland has become vacant. Please send your CV to HR@TBGLand.tbg for consideration.

For those wondering about the previous position holder, seems there was a freak accident where the entire contents of the Montreal Silverware, Cutlery and Fish Hook Warehouse was picked up by a tornado and deposited on the poor bastard as he rode his Huffy Cranbrook to the market.
Damn shame.




Toby Jones my ass.

Luc said...

GULP!

Ben Catoe said...

TBG, Have I ever mentioned that your powers of description are among the best I have ever encountered?