Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Math Help


The Blonde.

(This story deserved a separate post. For the record, Justin is Mark and Cathy's son. He is the young man in the pictures sitting next to Trecia in the previous post. He's 17. Sickening, isn't it?)

As we played Asshole, around midnight the front door opened.
An oh-so-cute blonde teenaged girl breezed in, heading for the stairs.
Mark and Cathy were unsuprised. Trecia motioned at the upstairs-
"He's upstairs. I think he's in bed." she called as the blonde waltzed up the stairs.
"I know." said the blonde as she turned the corner and and disappeared upstairs.

JR and Dan sat at the table with their mouths open.

JR turned to Dan.
"Booty call?" he asked. Dan shrugged his shoulders.
"HellifIknow." We looked at the parents.
"Oh, that's Lauren. The blonde Lauren." Cathy said. "She's getting help with her math from Justin."
"'Getting help with her math.' That's what they're calling it these days, eh? I guess I'm not up to speed with these street terms." I said.

JR was still agog. His mouth was still open and he hadn't blinked his eyes yet.
"Dude. Blink. Your eyeballs are going to dry out." Dan nudged him.

Cathy's comment finally registered.
"The *blonde* one? You mean he has more than one Lauren that comes visiting him late at night when he's gone to bed? Wow." JR said.

I took another slug of rum. It was the only comment I felt capable of making.

A 15 minute discussion ensued- specualtion of what was going on upstairs, discussion of late-night visits from nubile females and other unsavory commentary.

About 20 minutes after she arrived she flitted back down the stairs and departed... Justin came down stairs and sat in on the game.
"You guys do know that we could hear every word you said with perfect clarity." he said matter-of-factly.
"Yeah? So? You're the one getting the midnight booty call. Sorry, 'Math Homework'." JR said.

Here we are, 3 days later. Every once in a while, JR's eyes glaze over as he replays the episode in his head. "Getting help with her math. Right." he mutters.
"Do you think that kid has any idea of how lucky he is?" he'll ask, rhetorically.

"Help with math." I'm going to have to look that up in the Urban Dictionary...
I need to brush up on current slang, just so I don't miss out on any subtle verbal cues when Hunter and her friends are chatting in the car.

And not to put too fine a point on it, Hunter better not need any math tutoring.

Famous, out.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

...and the award for the "Worlds Most Naive Parents" goes to....