Sunday, July 30, 2006

FGA/FAQ WTT Edition

Frequently asked questions/ Frequently given answers.

(WTT edition)

1. Is the software finished?
2. Tennis? You're kidding, right?
3. Scoreboards? Who's going to set them up? Volunteers?
4. (You do know that tennis volunteers tend to be 50+ year old divorcees chasing the club pro...)
5. Paint, blood and teargas.
6. What's the temperature today? A hundred and WHAT?
7. They are supposed to be green and fuzzy.
8. 1-866-6??-5300. Tell them I told you to call.
9. Let me spell it out for you... "M-O-N-E-Y"
10. 3O3
11. Where is the closest Starbucks?
12. If the DJ plays House of Pain's "Jump Around" one more time, I'm gonna go strangle him with his mic cord...
13. What is the boiling point of silicone?
14. Captain & Coffee? Sure. Why not?
15. Do we have a match order yet?
16. No...Nothing is open here. You need to drive to Anaheim.
17. Where is the nearest Hooters?
18. She's not the waitress. She's a homeless woman who lives behind our dumpster.
19. Me, tennis isn't; You do.
20. Remember when I was complaining about the snow in Italy? I was wrong.
21. What software version is on this machine?!
22. No, collegen is for the lips, Botox is for the wrinkles.
23. I will NOT share my Ambien with you. Forget it.
24. Find me an umbrella or a sunshade, or I am going to kill everyone and everything within a 300 yard radius.
25. Don't try this at home, kids. I'm a professional.

2 comments:

March Hare said...

Since I don't have you're e-mail address (as far as I know)--I'm letting you know you've been memed. The Book Meme. Check out my blog for the rules.

Please play. It will be fun. It will be interesting. It will give you something to do while waiting at the airport!

No Chance Guy said...

As one who lived the adventure from a dusty room, lit only by the harsh flickering glow of the WTT update site on archaic CRTs, I found myself involuntarily emitting sarchastic chuckles as each nugget of truth met my tired eyes. Once again Magilla (err...I mean Amazing the Gojira) nails it down in the style of Letterman and beyond. Nice job =-)
(And yes I finally read your blog. Shocking, I know.)

-(CC)