Friday, August 10, 2012

Wrong!

I'm going to have to call BS on this one.
I don't know what demopgraphic they were
sampling, but this conclusion is
JUST FUCKING WRONG.

Most Americans now approve of TSA airport searches
"Despite some travelers' horror stories about "gate rape," most Americans seem to be OK with TSA security procedures in domestic airports."
Wrong!
Wrong wrong
Fuckkity wrong wrong wrong.








Yeah... People just lurrrrrve the TSA.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Stupid London Tricks

I hates tourists.

Especially the ones that show absolutely no creativity...

For instance, the idjits that go to Pisa Italy and take pictures of themselves trying to hold up the leaning tower...

You know, these fools:


or the mouth-breathers in Paris that do this...


Show some originality, for cryin' out loud!
In London there is a similar spot to make a fool of yourself.

A few years back, a little band from 'round these parts did an album and shot the cover for the jacket on a road in this fair city.
You may or may not be familiar with it...
The name of the band was "The Beagles" or some other such foolishness...


Everyone and his/her brother want to re-create this scene. Fools.
Abbey Road station off the DLR is two stops from the Olympic Park, and every American familiar with said little group of music-makers says, as they pass through that station: "Say, Cletus, we orta go shoot us a pitcher of ourselfs like John, Paul & George... It's gotta be close by here..."

The part that is amusing to me?
The Abbey Road near Olympic Park is Hell-and-gone from the real Abbey Road location.

To wit:
The Wrong Place

Click for actual Googly Earth Map

The Real Abbey Road

Again, click to see the map

Now- lest you get this idea that it is unique to hunt up the location and take your picture, I suggest you take a peek at the webcam that runs 24/7, capturing in living color dumbasses that attempt photographic dorkification and perhaps suicide by tourism.
Abbey Road Studios LiveFeed

Click picture to go to the livefeed. It is hi-frippin'-larious.

The crosswalk is just that- a pedestrian crosswalk with no lights. Tourista just wade out into traffic to get their pic, trusting the traffic laws and the good-nature of the local drivers not convert them into grease spots on the pavement.

Dumbassery on the hoof.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Oops! Should Have Used Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum...

...instead of this IOC-approved Brit crap...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Current Events Mashup - London 2012 & Mars



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Olympic Products: Official and Not So Much

Official Product: Durex


Unofficial Product: Kangaroo Condoms

Pic by Caroline Buchanan Aussie BMX Rider

Entertainment Level: 9.8

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sexist Quote

Watching Lolo Jones getting ready to run in the Women's 100m Hurdles...


YT: "Man, I bet you could open a coke bottle with her belly button."

Yeah. I know.
I'm a sexist pig.

What else is new?


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Mars Lander Curiousity - "The Beagle Has Landed"

Shades of Capricorn One!
Are you sure this thing landed on Mars?


For the life of me, it looks like a parking lot in East Texas...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Fecked Up

Stephan Feck, a German diver in London really screwed the pooch on his dive last night.
He failed to catch both legs in a pike dive and performed the Worst Dive Ever...
Seriously - 0.00 score.
The look on his face says it all... "This is gonna hurt!..."

We all watched in horror. Anyone who has ever back-flopped winced in sympathetic reaction...
Wow... That'll leave a mark.

Good luck finding the video on teh Interweb- the IOC is clamping down on every video feed out there...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Sunday, August 05, 2012

Beans, Beans, Musical Deadly Fruit...


A 56-year-old man was crushed to death when he was buried underneath a pile of pinto beans at the Colorado warehouse where he worked, police said. 

It's kinda hard to know which way to go with this story...

Beans, beans, they're not so good for your heart,
when you're buried under several tons of them.

 -or take the DirecTV route-

1. When Obama is your president, you'll take any job you can get.
2. When you take any job you can get, you take the job in the bean warehouse.
3. When you take the job in the bean warehouse, you get crushed to death under a pile of beans.
4. Don't get crushed to death under a pile of beans; Defeat Obama and elect Romney.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Friday, August 03, 2012

...And That's When The Fight Started.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Equal Time

I guess it would only be proper to give the guys (and some girls, I guess) something to look at after the Olypics/Gay Porn post.
(I need to be careful... Kinda treading on PISSED's turf here...)

Enjoy!
Image by Dave Martin / AP


Image by Ryan Pierse / Getty Images


Image by MARCELO DEL POZO / Reuters


Image by Dave Martin / AP


Image by LUCY NICHOLSON / Reuters


Image by MARCELO DEL POZO / Reuters


Image by MARCELO DEL POZO / Reuters


Image by Ryan Pierse / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by Petr David Josek / AP


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by DANIEL GARCIA / Getty Images


Image by Ryan Pierse / Getty Images


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Looks Painful...

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

It's All In The Eye of the Beholder...

Is it the Olympics, or Gay Porn?














Actually, based on these photos, I would guess Olympics IS gay porn.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

Hmmm. I'm Surprised...

...We don't have this section in Publix/WinnDixie down in the South.



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Signs of the Apocalypse - AYFKM edition.


Really? We had to put up as sign about this?

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

O. M. F. G. ! ! ! 1 !

Holy crap on a cracker!

Yesterday afternoon I was told the absolutely worst, dirtiest, most offensive joke I have ever heard...
And I am still getting goosebumps and throwing up in my mouth a little bit every time it comes back into my near- conscious memory...Jeebus!

Great googly moogly!

It is a joke that offends everyone... Men, women, animals, straights, gays, across all ethnic strata...

And the awful truth is that I cannot share this joke- it is far too offensive to publish.

Oh my God!

SGK came over from Athletics yesterday afternoon.
SGK: "One of the cameramen at the stadium just told me the worst joke I've ever heard."
Yours Truly: "Really? Wow. I've gotta hear it."
SGK: "No way. It's waaaay too bad."
YT: "Oh come on... I'm the one that tells the 'scream twice' and the dolphin joke. I can take it."
SGK: "Nope, it is far far worse than anything you can imagine."

At this point I wish I had let it drop... Instead I wheedled and cajoled her into telling it. What a huge mistake!
I immediately vomited all over the floor and blood started coming from my eyes...

I really don't know what to do... Looks like I'll be looking for a bottle of Havana Club Rum to try to do a hard reset on my brain tonight...

Oh God.... Here it comes again.... Hgrbgalgrbhgalglhblegghragh!

--- UPDATE 19:45 GDT ---

To the callers, texters and emailers...
No. Seriously.
I can't tell you.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Community Toasters & Public Shaming

Lack of sleep is starting to take its toll on me...

This morning I came as close to physical violence for the most trivial offense as I have in a long time...
At 6:30 this fine (overcast, chilly) morning I was in the commissary getting breakfast.
I come in early to beat the 7:00-7:15 rush, where the place fills to capacity and things get way too crowded for my tastes.
There is a bank of toasters and a selection of breads at one side and I threw a couple slices of wheat bread in and went over to get my yogurt/granola & a plate of fruit.
I was walking back to get my should-be-pretty-close-to-finished toast and watched some little (5'0") shitfuck from New York take one of my slices out of the toaster and put it on his plate and walk over and sit down and start eating...

I was floored.

Really? You couldn't put your own bread in and wait for 60 seconds?

He was sitting over among his New York co-workers... Perhaps some shaming him in front of his fellow travelers?

Choices:
1. Accost the little fuck- "What the fuck, dude? Go steal someone else's toast."
2. Tit-for-tat -  walk over and take an item off his plate. "I assume all food is community property since you saw fit to abscond with my toast..."
3. Kill with kindness - Put the other slice of finished toast on a plate and walk it over to him and put it on the table by him. "Figured you might as well have the other one too... Can I get you anything else? Butter? Jelly?"
4. Kill (well, maim at least) with malice aforethough - Approach from behind, apply one meaty paw to the back of his head and slam his face down into his plate of eggs and baked beans, hopefully breaking the nose and maybe the jaw. This might be a little harsh, given the offense... But bad manners really shouldn't be encouraged.

ToastThief happily munched away... I toasted up a replacement for the pilfered slice then went back to my desk to eat, seethe, blog and plot the appropriate response...
I know where the little fuck works.
It may take a few days, but I will educate this little turd.

Or maybe not.
I need to get a really good nights sleep...
Gotta quit "sleeping" with the TV on and the window open. Doesn't promote getting to REM state.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE