Wednesday, August 01, 2012

O. M. F. G. ! ! ! 1 !

Holy crap on a cracker!

Yesterday afternoon I was told the absolutely worst, dirtiest, most offensive joke I have ever heard...
And I am still getting goosebumps and throwing up in my mouth a little bit every time it comes back into my near- conscious memory...Jeebus!

Great googly moogly!

It is a joke that offends everyone... Men, women, animals, straights, gays, across all ethnic strata...

And the awful truth is that I cannot share this joke- it is far too offensive to publish.

Oh my God!

SGK came over from Athletics yesterday afternoon.
SGK: "One of the cameramen at the stadium just told me the worst joke I've ever heard."
Yours Truly: "Really? Wow. I've gotta hear it."
SGK: "No way. It's waaaay too bad."
YT: "Oh come on... I'm the one that tells the 'scream twice' and the dolphin joke. I can take it."
SGK: "Nope, it is far far worse than anything you can imagine."

At this point I wish I had let it drop... Instead I wheedled and cajoled her into telling it. What a huge mistake!
I immediately vomited all over the floor and blood started coming from my eyes...

I really don't know what to do... Looks like I'll be looking for a bottle of Havana Club Rum to try to do a hard reset on my brain tonight...

Oh God.... Here it comes again.... Hgrbgalgrbhgalglhblegghragh!

--- UPDATE 19:45 GDT ---

To the callers, texters and emailers...
No. Seriously.
I can't tell you.



Irish said...

Oh come on now.. it can't be thaaat bad.. ;)

JohnW said...

"The Aristocrats!"

kx59 said...

To be worse than the "pig truck" or the "dead whale on the beach", it must be horrendous.

Angus McThag said...

Pre-rum: you WON'T tell us.

Post-rum: you CAN'T tell us.

Words mean something.

Somehow I am both disappointed and relieved.

Bug said...

kx59... yes, the Pig Truck is by far my most favorite story. TBG told me this while I was driving. I was laughing so hard and couldn't breathe. I nearly had to pull the car over. My (then 8? yr old) daughter leaned up from the back seat and said "Daddy, are you all right?"

hmm, gonna have to dig thru my blackmail file to get one of them to tell me the joke.

Kevin said...