Phallic traffic control

Barricade with a Subliminal Message....

"No parking, Dickhead."

"That's Mr. Caligula's Parking spot...

TBG out-

Make up your mind, part II

How do we fix this looming recession?

There is a meeting between President Bush, Pelosi and "Key Congress Members" about a big ol' tax cut.

If, however, you listen on the breeze from the Left side of the Presidential election campaign, you will hear all manner of sound and fury about Universal Health Care and other "socialist-type" programs...

Guess what that means?

More taxes!

TBG - taxing your patience-

Make up your mind

I've been listening to the radio all morning, hearing the news about how the world-wide stock markets are going into the shitter.

World economies love it when their currencies rise against the dollar, and of course, everyone (especially Europe) loves to paint the USA as corrupt, ignorant, stupid and/or arrogant. But they sure as hell tie their stock markets and their economies to ours.

As soon as there is a hint of financial stress, the news media starts shouting "The sky is falling!" and starts a false panic. It goes from a hint of speculation of a downturn to some asshole on a liberal media news channel whispering the word "recession"- now the world goes into apoplexy.
And, of course, we have to fix it.

I think Randy Newman had it right in his song "Political Science"

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens-

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
---

Look, we are either the Great Satan, or we are source of All Things Good and Proper.
But not both.
You can't talk shit about the USA and still expect us to prop up your crappy economy and buy your crappy products, and come visit your crappy tourist attractions while we are on holiday.

TBG, tired of the bullshit.

Followup to Camping Trip

RL: Wow. Looks like a helluva sausagefest.

------

CS: Just a second, let me work up a visual of a bunch of girls streaking down at the Dry Tortugas... Wait, do they have to be the same age as you guys?
Yours Truly: I think it's only fair to do it that way in order to get an accurate comparison.
CS: Okay...(Thoughtful pause) Wow. In the infamous words of Jayne Cobb: "I'll be in my bunk."

-----

More to come, no doubt.

TBG out-

The Tale of the Camping Trip

... So one of the (Federal) Law Enforcement Rangers comes out to the campsite.
This is never a Good Thing, especially when it is a) 9:00pm and you know he was off duty at 6 and b) he's open for business- i.e. Taser, nightstick, pepper spray. This is no social visit... he's Expecting Trouble.

We're all gathered around the table.
One of the handles of Captain Morgan's Rum is empty. The other is half gone. The empty jug of Sailor Jerry rum, the empty wine bottles and the bone-dry mini-keg of Heineken are arranged like an alcoholic artist's drinkable pop-art sculpture.
The remnants of the Stone Crab Feast is making the table look like a crab-shell bomb went off, scattering orange, black and white shrapnel everywhere.
The Ranger surveys the carnage. He clears his throat...

"Guys... We've had some complaints."

Maybe I should start at the beginning...?

(Disclaimer: In order to protect the innocent, shield the guilty and avoid embarrassment, some names have been changed, a few identities have been masked, and some events have been completely skipped in order to protect Domestic Tranquility. If you want to know the whole unabashed truth, buy the book.)

December 7th is a day that will live in Infamy.
Not only is it Pearl Harbor Day, but it also marks the 1st Semi-Annual IDS Tortugas Fishing & Drinking Trip.

At IDS we usually have our company holiday party the first week of December on a Thursday, then have Friday off... Some times we'd have a golf outing, occasionally we'd go out to the North Florida Gun Range for a day of skeet shooting and a meal at Hooters to cap it off.
This year was different.

Back in Early September I had put out a RFI to all the possible participants via email and had about 20 positive responses.
Basically- A camping trip to the Dry Tortugas National Park after the Holiday Party, instead of the usual golf or shotgun fest. I would arrange transportation to DRTO, food, drinks, and most camping gear. It would be a relaxing weekend of sunshine, food, drink and fishing to start off the holiday season with a healthy tan or maybe even a case of melanoma... And afterwards a night in Key West to ease back into the work week.

I headed off to London, several NHL cities, then 6 weeks in Asia for some basketball in Shanghai and Macao and the Tennis Masters Cup in Shanghai. By the time I got back, the trip was in jeopardy. Over the fullness of time, many people dropped out, but a good core of folks kept true to the event. We just hoped for good weather and kept making plans.

The schedule was as follows:
We'd hit the holiday party, enjoy the festivities, then afterward we'd head south, probably about 9:00 or 10:00.
We'd hit Key West at 5:00 AM and do some last-minute shopping at the 24-hour grocery on North Roosevelt, and be loading the boat by 6:30AM.

We took two cars- I drove Physalia, loaded to the gills with camping gear, and coolers and bins full of victuals and booze. Jingles drove his Expedition packed with fishing gear, luggage, and most of the passengers.
The participants were Yours Truly (duh), Jim, Alan K -Jim's friend and partner-in-crime (remind me to tell you about the trip to Fantasy Fest sometime), Brad R -a friend of mine from Way Back, we're talking high school here..., Zack -from thewrongway.com and IDS ETS Staffer, and Frau- Ex IDS LPGA Staffer and all-around Cool Guy.


(Click pic for full size version)
The Gang of Six. Frau, Alan, Zack, Brad, Jim and Yours Truly.

In retrospect, for a first effort this was the perfect group. Jim had been out to DRTO before, and everyone else was perfectly at home with the primitive camping concept- no one really high-maintenance.

Everything went according to plan- the trip to Key West was uneventful, the weather for the boat out on Friday morning was perfect, the only fly in the ointment was that the grocery store in Key West that is usually open 24 hours was closed that morning. We had to scramble a bit to get the goods we needed but in the end we did OK.

The boat got loaded up with our gear, we secured our cars, and by 8:00 we were headed out of the harbor and on our way for the final outbound leg.

Jim and I both had driven all night, the entire way from Jax to Key West, so we both napped during the 2 hour trip out to the Park.
And except for a certain episode of extremely loud audible flatulence that actually woke up people at a table 10 feet away, we kept a fairly low profile on the trip out.

About 10:15 Fort Jefferson hove into view... By 10:30 the Yankee Freedom II made the dock on Garden Key and in short order we off-loaded our gear and picked out a spot to set up camp. By 11:30 we had made ourselves at home; Our tents were up, gear was stowed, sunscreen had been applied, and the first drinks were poured.

As we sat at our picnic table pondering our next move, another passenger from the Yankee Freedom, a girl from Germany named Tina stopped by.

We had chatted on the boat during the trip out and she knew we were staying a couple days...

"So..." she asked, "What kind of meat do you have?"

A loaded question to ask this group.
She had given the picnic table an appraising glance. There were four 1.75L bottles of rum, 2 handles of vodka, 4 bottles of wine, several six packs of beer, mixers, and ONE package of crackers.
I WANT to believe there was something lost in the translation, that she perhaps meant 'What kind of FOOD?' did we have, since it was obvious we had plenty of beverages, but no food in sight.
Well, the damage was already done...
There were several replies to her question...

"Hot Beef!" was the first reply... Then the answers and comments came fast and furious;
"Sausage!"
"Yeah, in your case, Vienna Sausage."
" Kielbasa!"
"We've got some seafood too" one smart ass quipped, pointing to another guy "He's packing a shrimp..."

Needless to say, we were an embarrassment.

After the Yankee Freedom and the Sunny Days left for the day there was only park staff and 5 other campers- a couple from Pennsylvania, a guy from Washington DC and another couple from Nevada.

We toured Ft Jefferson a bit, did a little swimming and snorkeling, and then went out to the dock to fish for a bit. It was relatively productive as we pulled in several legal-size mangrove snapper- reserving them for dinner the next day...

Friday night was relaxing and subdued- we put a big dent in the supply of rum and drank most of the bottled beer. There were beef and chicken kebabs for dinner, then we went out to the dock to fish for more snapper.

Saturday was another nice day... a bit windy but sunny, and the water temperature was still in the 70s. More relaxing, catching some rays- more snorkeling, and some more fishing.
The ferries came and went...

We all gathered on the beach for Sunset... We took the mini kegs of beer down to the beach and invited the other campers for drinks.

I had a drink with the guys then went to prepare dinner-
I had arranged some to get stone crab from Deb on the Yankee Freedom; I had lime, tomato, onions, cilantro, salt, vodka and the snapper we caught the night before, so I whipped up a nice ceviche... I also had steaks marinating in mojo crioillo, a few chicken kebabs, and some potatoes to throw in the fire.

By the time the sun was down and the rest of the guys returned, I had prepared a lavish spread.


Chilled stone crab claws, snapper ceviche with pita chips, mango salsa and tortilla chips- the guys dove into the appetizers with gusto.


There was a good deal of banter and apparently some kind of wager had been made while the guys were down on the beach. I'm not certain what the wager was, but apparently some kind of frat house/locker room agreement was entered into...


As I served up the steaks and was just tucking into my dinner, I was briefed on The Plan.
"So... We all have to make a run completely around the fort. Naked." I was told.
"What do you mean 'we', white man?" I asked.
"We all decided."
"Bullshit." I said. "Dude, I work down here... I come back all the time. All I need is for something to happen that would screw up my chance to work out here or over on Loggerhead Key..."
"What could possibly happen?" they asked.
Those are famous last words if I ever heard any...
"Well, just off the top of my head... Running in the dark is dangerous enough. Lots of stuff to trip on, let alone trying to run a half-mile in the dark, on the moat wall, AND naked... one misstep and you are over the edge and you'd have to swim all the way to the north or south beach; besides, even if you weren't injured, there are quite a few toothy beasties that would be glad to give you a taste as you tried to swim in the dark water.
"I can just see it... We have to go inside the fort to get one of the Rangers to treat a broken limb (or worse) and have to carry said injured naked guy back to the infirmary for treatment, let alone having to explain why he's naked."
There was no dissuading them.
Streaking was on the menu.
Ben, the guy from DC was sitting with us, enjoying a tasty beverage, and the couple from Pennsylvania had just headed back to their tent.

It started rather quickly- I had just freshened my drink and sat back down when I saw a flash of white heading across the campground toward the swim beach. Brad had taken off out from behind the tent and sprinted for the moat wall...
I could only shake my head...
An ambush was arranged with flashlights and Zack's camera... As we waited for Brad to make his reappearance from the north side of the fort, Alan shed his clothes and took off for the moat wall...
(About this time, the Pennsylvania couple were sitting in the dark at their campsite watching us...)
We waited a bit for Brad and found he had made his way back to the tent along the shore, away from the ambush and had gotten re-dressed rather quickly...


Alan made it back just after Jim took off wearing only his Tevas and a goofy grin, and Zack took his clothes with him as he made his run.
That left only Frau having to fulfill his end of the wager.
By this time there was quite a bit of sound and fury accompanying the departure and the arrival of Streakers.
Jim got back rather out of breath.
"About.... halfway... around.... I wasn't...worried...about being....naked... I was... worried... about... making it... back... to the... camp... before.... passing.... out." he panted.

By the time Frau got under way, we had another spectator. As soon as he left our campsite he was hit by a large spotlight from the second level of the Fort as he headed toward the beach... It also illuminated the Penn couple as they watched the parade...
We saw the spotlight and started howling.
"Holy Crap!" Frau shouted as he ran back to the campsite to get his clothes, "There are people over there!"
We were dying laughing. We figured one of the rangers or the Campground Hosts (Ken and Peggy-very nice folks) had heard all the noise and were waiting with the spotlight.
We gave it a little time, hoping the furor would die down a bit...Then Frau got his second wind and took off again.
The Mystery Spotlight hit him again as he ran down the moat wall, illuminating him for the full 100 yards of moat wall before the first turn. He just held his arms over his head as he ran with his ass to the spotlight.
He got back without incident... Mostly, anyway.


Moon over Ft. Jefferson

Part two of Saturday night's entertainment was just about to get underway when the fallout from the Streaking Incident hit us...
One of the Rangers appeared at our campsite.
Someone had taken the trouble to go find one of the Rangers at home inside the fort and tell them there was nudity on Garden Key... He then had to get his rig and other Ranger Stuff on and come out and find out what was going on.
Couldn't have been any of the campers since they were all with us out in the campground...We figured it could only be one of the construction crew that was on the island working on the restoration project.
How bad is it, when a construction worker complains about guys running around naked.
Was it jealousy, perhaps?
It was a bit of a double standard... If there was a bunch of girls streaking the moat wall, would there have been complaints?
Something to think about. Then again... It's the DRY Tortugas.. Not the NAKED Tortugas.

"Guys? We've had some complaints."

He looked at all of us to be sure he had our attention.
"Has there been some running around naked?" he asked.
"Uh, define the term 'naked'" one smart-ass quipped "'cause I still had my sandals on..."
I could only shake my head. I knew better than to be funny. Citations from some local Barney Fife are one thing- but this place is a National Park, that means Park Rangers are Federal Law Enforcement Officers, and if he's open for business, it doesn't pay to cut the fool...
"Uh, yes... There has been some shenanigans...but that is all over now. All wagers have been paid and all debts fulfilled."
"Ok...Listen." he said, again, making sure all of us heard him.
"Clothes. Stay. On. "
Dead silence.
"Yes sir. Won't happen again."
Mumbled assent from the others.

Thus chastised, the next few hours were much more subdued.

Now, Constant Readers will know that I don't tend to do things in moderation... I'm going whole hog, or I ain't going.
I had tired of dealing with my hair, the ponytail and hair product routine, so I had kinda decided to cut all my hair off while on this trip.
I had told The Perfect Child of my plans, but she had no faith... This only heightened my resolve.
I wasn't really prepared to do it, didn't have any shears or hair trimmers with me... I thought about borrowing one from one of the Rangers, but since we had gotten the reprimand, I figured we were in the dog house. Best to keep a low profile.

I found my cable shears in my bag...

These orange-handled trimmers are what I use to cut cable and to strip wire on installation jobs.
Not exactly made for cutting hair...
...But they did the trick.

Frau and Brad went after my hair with the gusto of a couple hound dogs chasing after a rabbit...
Zack took pictures of the event, shaking my confidence in my decision with every comment he made.
"Dude- I had a dog with mange once...you kinda look like he did on one of his bad days."
"Man...Is that blood?"


"You look like a chemotherapy patient."
After that one the others suggested his comments might get him...let's say "damaged", he stuck to photodocumentation and left the humor to the professionals.
I didn't care; I was just worried about getting yet another scar on my cranium. (I have plenty from walking into low doorways and ceiling fans)
After all, I had two pretty inebriated barbers working me over, in the dim light of a camp lantern. How hard would it be to slip and clip off one of my ears?

About 10:30 or 11 o'clock we called it a night... They had trimmed me to a bare (heh) minimum, and we figured to start in with a disposable razor in the morning light.

I felt weird the next morning... A bit hung over, and no hair on my head.
I felt around my scalp and could feel a very uneven layer of hair...
We needed to finish the job quickly- I figured it looked pretty bizarre... hunks of hair here and there, and the blinding white scalp.



I lathered up with shaving cream and Brad once again played Sweeny Todd...


"Careful with the razor, Dude..."

Afterward, as we were breaking camp one of the other campers came over.


"You, uh... you weren't bald last night, were you?" he asked.

I got several other great responses...

"How much rum did you guys drink?"
"Did you lose a bet?"
"Holy crap!"
"Dude. Sunscreen. Quick."
"Cover that thing! The glare is killing me."

The good one was when I saw the Ranger from the night before.
He looked at me and got a concerned look on his face.
"Turn around for a sec." he said.
I turned my head.
"That...wasn't...uh. " he shook his head.
"Never mind. I probably don't want to know."

The couple from Pennsylvania stopped by just after breakfast.
"We didn't disturb y'all too much last night, did we?"
"Disturb us? No... It was rather funny- seeing your white asses as you were running by..." the girl, Christie, replied.
"I saw you" she said, pointing at Zack, "and you." pointing at Frau.
"You were very funny." she said.

How emasculating is that? What is the descriptive term you want used when someone sees you naked?
Girls only want one of about 3 or 4 adjectives- Sexy, Desirable, Alluring...

Guys?

"He was naked, it was..."
Alarming?
Enjoyable?
Scary?
Entertaining?
Terrible?
Comical?
Agreeable?
Puzzling?
Engrossing?
Disgusting?
Delightful?
Horrific?
Enchanting?
Frightening?

Funny is not the adjective I want used in this case.
Oh well...

We broke camp and took all our stuff back to the dock to await the arrival of Captain Rick and the Yankee Freedom...
The rest of the day passed without too many incidents.

We still had most of a handle of rum and a full handle of vodka...
We decided it would be better to drink it rather than carry it back on the boat.
(This was, in retrospect, a bad idea for one of our party.)

We sat out in the shade at one of the picnic tables and drank Bloody Marys, rum and cokes, and sometimes just rum...I suggested moderation because the ride home would be rather rough...Seasick and drunk is not a good combination.
One of us was heavily under the influence as we boarded the boat from Key West.
He was, as the saying goes, feeling no pain.
There were several embarrassing moments when one of the deckhands on the boat came to me and asked if there was anything I could do about our boozy compatriot.
"If'n you don't settle him down, I'm gonna hog-tie him and stuff him in a boat locker."
"Warren," I told him "I have absolutely no control over him. I know he's one of my group, but he's a grown-up, and responsible for his own actions. You do what you gotta do. I won't take offense."
Warren stalked off to find a length of rope... I turned my attentions back to the DVD I was watching on my laptop.
I have found the two or so hours to Key West passes so much quicker when I watch a movie.

We got into the harbor about 5:30, and by 6:00 Jim and I had retrieved our cars and loaded up.
Jim, Alan, Zack and Frau were spending Sunday night in Key West... I had a flight to Montreal the next morning, so Brad and I were having dinner with the boys then heading north...
Dinner at the Half Shell Raw Bar with the boys... We said our good byes then 7 hours later we were in Duval County... No speeding tickets, no problems. It was a bit colder, but we were OK.

So...

With the watchwords from a very tolerant Ranger down at Fort Jefferson as our guide...
"Clothes. Stay. On."
...Who wants to go with us on the next trip to camp in the Dry Tortugas?

Tentative dates for the IDS Spring Fling... Sometime in mid to late April.

Who's game?

TBG out-

Out of context

Heard at "Time Out"-

"...last time I was here I had vegetables in my shirt..."

Wow. How un-PC...
I thought the term was "learning-impaired."

Back Among the Savages

It was a short but productive stay on the Island this time...


Fortunately, the good folks of DRTO didn't hold our last visit against me...

It's midnight and I'm driving north yet again.

I have a full plate next week.
Meetings, home repairs, office work, things to see and people to do...
I'll leave you with this funny I got from AG.
Enjoy.

The Old Dog

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!";
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard,
"That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says...
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

Moral of this story....
Don't mess with the old dogs...
Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

TBG out-

DRTO Bound...again.

Hi Constant Readers...

Heading back out to the Tortugas yet again.
Some volunteers bailed and I have a few days in my schedule free...

The weather has sucked the last few days... 25 to 30 knot winds,
seas 5-8 feet and higher (6-9') in Rebecca Channel.
I was supposed to go out yesterday, but the weather has been so bad they didn't head to the Island.

But today- well, they are going. Lots of warnings about high seas and wind.
It's a light day, only about 35 people going out, 6 of them are campers. Heh.
Poor bastards.

TBG, out on the water-

Brrrr...

Well....
Google Weather:
Key West, FL 33040
46F, Mostly Cloudy
Wind: N 26 mph
Hum: 63%
Thu: 45F-57F, Clear
Fri: 62F-68F, Mostly Sunny
Sat: 67F-73F, Mostly Sunny

It's cold and windy as hell.
No boat today, no seaplanes.
I'm stuck in Key West where the weather is almost as bad as Buffalo.

At least I'll have a chance to catch up on my blog and get some other stuff (hairs cut, etc) done.

TBG - Film at 11.

Chicks Dig the Monkey

JR in the famous Monkey Hat

Game Day V

It's a wrap!

Game Day IV - The Peeps

Buffalo Off-Ice Officials

(IM in UR stadium, keepin UR stats.)

Game Day III - The View

Our view of the game...

Game Day II

Snow Fall = Cold Noggin

Game day, Winter Classic

The snow has been falling all morning...

Just lovely.

...And now it starts snowing.
Just #*@!?ing lovely.
Luc is wishing hateful shit on us here. Thanks man!

Quick Update

Just a quick update for Constant Readers...

I'm in Buffalo NY for the NHL's Winter Classic...
An outdoor game to be played in Ralph Wilson Stadium, usually home to the Buffalo Bills, this week it is the temporary stomping ground of the Sabres and 50,000 rabid hockey fans...
When tickets went on sale, all 50,000 tickets were sold out in something on the order of 20 minutes...
This will be the place to be on New Years Day if you are in West New York State.

During my copious free time I will be striving to put together a passable narrative of the trip down to the Tortugas from 2 weeks ago...
It's coming RSN.
(Real Soon Now)

Film at 11, updates as they happen...

TBG out-

Inappropriate attire

Smart Ass: "We're all gonna chip in and buy you a jacket."

Yours Truly: "For stuff in my size they charge by the yard...and I don't think you'll raise enough to buy one sleeve, let alone a full winter coat."

TBG, Freezing my...fingers off.

The NHL's Winter Classic

...The moon, on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a lustre of mid-day to objects below...
-From Clement Moore's "A visit from St. Nick"

This gives new meaning to "Pure as the driven snow"...

TBG out-

Wow

Anonymous NHL guy: "They can't pay me enough to do it, but they could pay you enough."

Other Anonymous NHL guy: "Yeah, I'm cheap *and* easy."

TBG- worried.

It's going to be one of those events...

JR: "Chicks dig the monkey..."

Chris: "Monkey? Is that what you are calling it these days?"

TBG, out-

Zzzz...

Now I feel better about the safety of my equipment...

Out of context: Buffalo

From the waitress at Red Robin:

"Do you want some pink?"

(We assumed she meant the hamburger...)

TBG, back in Buffalo.

Living Dangerously

Posting a blog entry via Crackberry while driving up I-95 at night is kinda like giving a ferret a shave.
No matter how careful you are, someone is going to get hurt.

But I have time to kill and the blog ain't gonna write itself.

If any Constant Readers want a real chuckle, stroll over to Zack Cline's site, http://thewrongway.com and go to his galleries.
Between his eye for composition and his choice in cameras, his photos make mine look like I'm blindly snapping away with a Kodak Instamatic.
Anyway, peruse the pics from DRTO...especially the ones of The Grand Shearing...

Ok, you have your assignment, get moving.

TBG out-

May, perhaps, might, could.

(This is the last time I'm going to beat this horse. I promise...)



Yet another cover story in USAToday concerning global warming.



"Scientists: Global warming could kill off reefs by 2050."



A dire warning by "an international coalition of scientists" in an obscure journal says coral reefs, and by extention, the rest of the world, are doomed in 42 years.



The USAToday article, and undoubtedly the report itself is full of language that screams "Doomsday!" in one breath and couches the entire report in suppositive language and a host of "possible scenarios" ranging from complete-extinction-of-life-as-we-know-it to negligible-impact-life-is-good forecasts.



The News Media today loves this kind of stuff... It lets them do a little hand wringing and it sells newspapers or gives the talking heads something to wail about...



The scientific community loves this atmosphere of fear, because in the environment of "publish or perish" that is Academia today, you can write a report filled with twisted and massaged data, get published and because it is couched in the "may, might, perhaps, possible" language, they have no accountability.

Kind of like how the hurricane forecasters give dire warnings like: "we have the potential to see the worst season for devastating hurricanes in the last five decades!" - then they shrug their shoulders and say "we said 'potential' in our forecast. Sorry!" when there are a minimum of storms that year.



The final word from Uncle Jay:

Scientists don't "know" shit.



TBG, out-

More Global Warming Bullshit

Saint Al has been bad mouthing the USA, again.

"I am going to speak an inconvenient truth," Gore told an audience of several hundred, playing on the name of his Oscar-winning documentary.

And in low tones he added: "My own country the United States is principally responsible for obstructing progress in Bali," spurring rapturous applause and cheers.

I'm tired of this asshole.

Read a REASONABLE opinion from one of his Nobel Co-Laureates:

Dishonest Political Tampering with the Science on Global Warming
Written By: Christopher Monckton, Denpasar, Bali
Published In: News Release
Publication Date: December 5, 2007

As a contributor to the IPCC’s 2007 report, I share the Nobel Peace Prize with Al Gore. Yet I and many of my peers in the British House of Lords - through our hereditary element the most independent-minded of lawmakers - profoundly disagree on fundamental scientific grounds with both the IPCC and my co-laureate’s alarmist movie An Inconvenient Truth, which won this year’s Oscar for Best Sci-Fi Comedy Horror.

Continue reading this article...

TBG out-

Buffalo

This weather is insane.

For the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone lives up here.

On the way to the Stadium this AM...


That's a nice glaze of snow and ice on the highway...

In the stadium...


This will be a perfect place to play an outdoor hockey game...


I have to walk up and down these steps in sneakers...

I'm going to kill myself...

TBG, freezing-

Welcome to Misery

Population: Me

From Google Weather:

Buffalo, NY
27F,
Wind: E 10 mph
Hum: 74%
Thu: 27F-30F, Snow (...and lots of it.)
Fri: 18F-33F, Chance of Snow Showers
Sat: 17F-26F, Chance of Snow

Schools are closed and flights are canceled.
I am ill-prepared for the weather here. I need warmer clothes, a knit cap to keep my noggin from freezing, and some boots with good traction.
My sneakers slide on the snow and ice - if I don't take a serious fall between now and Friday night I'll be amazed.

Obligatory Food Content:
I went to the Anchor Tavern for wings last night...
I have to say, they were pretty tasty.

TBG, out in the snow.

Career Development Seminar

- or -
Tortugas Drinking and Fishing 2007

Annie in SC
(Formerly Annie in KW)
Asks a particularly timely question...

"And how come no posts/pics from DRTO?"

Well... There are two good reasons...

First, I've been either behind the wheel of a vehicle or getting on a plane for the majority of my waking hours since my return... and second... No pics, because no camera.

Well... I have my Crackberry camera, but that's pretty pitiful...
I also still have my old sony, but since the screen on the back is cracked, it makes it a bit hard to preview the pics... I have to shoot a bunch and hope for good results...

There is a nice post coming covering our "Career Development Seminar", including such tales as "The Grand Snapper Outing", "The Stuttgart Carnivore", "Miss Costa Rica and the White Asses", and the ever-popular "There have been complaints..." story.

Stay tuned, film at 11.

TBG, out-

Extremes. I go to them.

Before...



After...



Responses so far:

1. Damn. How much rum did you guys drink?

2. Wow. Did you lose a bet?

3. Who's the convict?

4. Holy crap! (initial response from several people)

5. Jeez. There is no middle ground with you, is there?

6. Dude. Sunscreen. Quick.

7. Man. You look mean. Looks good on *you* though... (said while backing away)

8. Wow. Is it time for the Masters already?

9. Dude, the glare is killing me.

10. Did you fall asleep around a bunch of drunk guys?

11. Oh, Dude. You've got to get a new motorcycle to go with *that* look!

12. Hey man, the WWE called- you're scheduled for a match tomorrow night.

13. Nervous laughter.
(initial response from several people, usually cut short by a very hostile look...followed by a comment such as "man, you really look angry."

-------------------------

Just for the record, this was a planned tonsorial adjustment.
It was time for a change...

TBG out-