Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Too Damn Funny

I have to imagine that if I had to deal with the General Public in a retail environment I'd probably need heavy doses of C2H5OH nightly to survive the experience...
Doubly so if my position was Barist/Hipster-in-Residence at a Fourbux Cafe...

This poor bastard , the Bitter Barista (who I hear has been fired for his random scribbling) articulates his feelings nicely... Satire or not, bloggers have to be careful.
Not sure my reaction to dealing with the half-caff-half-soy-latte-double-shot-with-hazelnut crowd would be any different, though...
His stuff is sure fun to read- especially if you are self-aware enough to empathize.

To wit:

No. 19
Sir, you seem to have a little piece of douchebag on the side of your face…Wait, no, that’s just a bluetooth.

No. 24
So, a guy grumpily walks up to the counter and says “Soy mocha.”
I reply, “Hi, mocha. Soy Matt. What would you like to order?”

No. 29
You can say “2% milk” all damn day. You’re getting whole milk.

No. 68
“Thank you, have a nice day” is retail-speak for, “I hate you, I hope you die in a fire”.

No. 71
If your coffee order takes more than 20 seconds to say, you’ve forfeited your right to complain about the price.

Go, read, and keep his thoughts and observations in mind when you step up to the counter at Fourbux.


1 comment:

Borepatch said...

Jason Alexander was really funny as the douche customer in the Brad Paisley video "Famous".